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4 Reasons to Wait Until You’re 35 to Get Married

These reasons to wait until you’re 35 to get married include the downside of late marriages – such as the increased difficulty of getting pregnant and problems with past relationships. These reasons to wait include tips for happy marriages…

Reasons to Wait Until You’re 35 to Get MarriedIf you’re struggling to find the right person, read Why Mr. Right Can’t Find You: The surprising answers that will change your life – and his. It overturns the classic dating myths, such as that there is “one and only” man for you, that all men prefer the same body type, and that you should wait passively for the right guy to find you. JM Kearns also devotes a third of this book to online dating.


He explains:

  • why online dating gives the best odds
  • how to choose the best dating site for you
  • the one mistake not to make in your dating searches
  • why “everybody” lies on online dating sites
  • how to eliminate Mr. Wrongs
  • why you should avoid falling in love before you meet in person
  • which pay dating sites are scams
  • how to tailor your introduction so you find the right guy
  • what to wear, what to ask, what to watch for and watch out for at first in-person meeting

“We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.” ~ Tom Robbins. If you’re in a relationship but aren’t sure if he’s right for you, read Are You Really in Love? 8 Signs of a Serious Relationship. And below are my reasons to wait until you’re in your 30s before getting married…

Part of why I waited until I was 35 to get married was that I was looking for a perfect man. I didn’t realize that I only needed to find the man that is perfect for me!

4 Reasons to Wait Until You’re 35 to Get Married

Today is our fifth wedding anniversary; we got married on October 22, 2005, when I was 35 years old. My husband and I met about 22 years ago – he was a 21 year old bartender and I was a 18 year old waitress. We were friends for 17 years before we got married.

I wouldn’t have gotten married a day sooner – and here’s why I think it’s important for couples to have a “late” marriage…

You know yourself better – your life dreams, goals, personality

If we’d married when I was 18 and my husband was 21, we would’ve been divorced within a few years. I wasn’t ready to get married until my mid-30s – I needed to move to Africa, get a couple of university degrees, start businesses, date different people first, and embark on a year of counseling first. He needed to do the same things, and try his hand at a serious relationship.

Your finances and career are established (or should be!)

You don’t need to have all your debts paid off or be the CEO of your own company by age 35, but you should have your finances under control. This paves the way to a happier, healthier marriage – especially if you and your partner have similar money personalities. Many people are more financially secure at age 35 than age 20 or 25, which can have a positive effect on their relationships.

You’re less likely to sweat the small stuff

reasons for waiting to get married

35 When I Got Married

Most people are more mature, less anxious, and less likely to freak out over little things as they get older. This contributes to a happy marriage; you’re less likely to file for divorce because he can only focus on one thing at a time!

This reason to wait until you’re 35 to get married may seem like a generalization, but research shows that people become more able to deal with problems without anxiety or fear as they get older.


You’ve learned how precious love, life, and marriage is

The older I get, the more friends and family I lose – and the more I gain, as well! If I married my husband when I was 18 or 25, I wouldn’t appreciate him the way I do now.

Of course, I still get frustrated, angry, and impatient with him – because no matter how old you are when you get married, you’re still one weak human married to another weak human – but underlying the discord is a river of happiness and contentment.

Those are just some of the reasons to wait until you’re 35 to get married. Here are some pitfalls of “late” marriages…

The downside of waiting until you’re 35 to get married:

  • It’s more difficult to get pregnant when you’re older
  • Some habits are so ingrained, they’re hard to break
  • Past relationships can create problems (such as toxic ex-wives or stepchildren you don’t connect with)

What do you think – are these valid reasons to wait for a “late” marriage? Comments welcome below! I can’t offer advice, but I’d love to hear your thoughts.

May you wait until you’re old and wise to get married :-)


6 thoughts on “4 Reasons to Wait Until You’re 35 to Get Married”

  1. its been awhile having this person I love and there’s been ups and down we lose contact miss seen each other some months but we still get back together. Its been some years we both can go our way having our own friends but still we a back together.

  2. What you have to remember is that, although being 18 doesn’t equal being stupid or wildly immature, you are 18. When you’re 18, the world looks a lot different than it does at 30. I thought I wanted to get married when I was your age too, and it was all possible. But had I, I would have most assuredly been divorced and I would have never experienced all the many adventurous and character building things I did in my 20s. I just turned 30 and I’m single, but I’m so happy in my life as it is now.

    I do have to strictly disagree with what you said about finding yourself is less important (or not important at all) than finding your mate. Life is not only or even primarily about finding a mate to reach the status quo with. The ONE person you can be assured you will always have in your life is you. Other people die and leave and quit, but you can’t – you’re stuck with yourself. So you better make sure you are comfortable with yourself, being independent and alone if necessary, or your world will crumble when the other person you’ve hung your entire world on is no longer there – if that happens. Find yourself, solidify who you are, get comfortable with yourself, then find him/her. It could take you a year or 20, but do it. Because two halves don’t make a whole in relationships – finding a mate doesn’t make everything perfect – it makes everything harder because then you have to worry with someone else’s life, problems, issues, etc. in addition to your own.

  3. Bethany you sound really anxious about something that doesn’t seem to be the way you choose to live your life. Maybe you should find out the real reason why? I’m in my 30s and engaged to a man who was with a girl who is younger than I. She is sweet, likes to sing and take selfies and cater to his desires. They barely spent one day apart in 11 years and you know what? He grew tired of her and they split. I’m with him six months and he’s ready to give me everything and you know why? He’s mature enough now to see the benefits of being with a woman who has developed interests and varied experiences. He wants to be apart of the world I’ve created. Meet my friends in different countries, explore my culture with me, etc. Its exciting for me to have someone who hangs on my words cause he’s simply dazzled by my individuality. Despite how society tends to make single women feel, there are serious benefits to spending time alone with oneself. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. I don’t want to be a self sacrificing shadow of my former self. I want to take care of my family to be, but also have my man respect me enough to be a partner in maintaining my individuality because that’s why he fell in love with me in the first place. Also, a duvet works wonders to warm your bed,

  4. I hate this! stupidest thing ive ever read. im not going to rant, but the worst part is experiencing other relationships! im 18 and my best friend is 21. we met 7 years ago and i hope to be married within the next 2 years! he will be my first love.. my first kiss! my first date! my first and last husband! and the father of all my children! when im 35 ill have 5 kids n when im 45 theyll all be grown having their own kids. when your 45 your kids will be 10 and youll be old. life is way too short to waste “finding yourself”. instead find your ither half! ull never be complete without them. i hate this it just makes me mad. find love! commit youself to them! get over yourself and get over your pride. if you find your true love divorce isnt even in your dictionary cus youre too busy defining FORGIVENESS. i truly feel sorry for you. i cant wait to grow with my best friend and spend the rest of my life with him and him alone! im not gonna leave him n go to africa for a stupid college degree! at the end of the day your husband is the one next to you in bed keeping you warm… not your college degrees.

  5. Thanks for your comment, RelationshipDJ! I’m not sure what you mean by age not being a factor in a relationship but being a factor in a marriage…but it’s always nice to hear from readers :-)

  6. I used to think that age was never a factor in marriage but it is. Age is not a factor in relationship. Marriage is not a joke that’s why we have so many divorces because they people that are getting married have not gotten a chance to figure out their own lives even worst trying to do it with someone else.

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