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7 Ways to Respond When Your Wife Won’t Talk to You

The only thing worse than living with someone who won’t stop talking is being married to a wife who refuses to communicate! What do you do when your wife won’t talk to you?

“My wife had an emotional affair with another man,” says Jason on Is Your Wife Cheating on You? A Simple Test. “Long story short, I gave her an ultimatum: end the relationship or I leave. My wife ended it, but claims she has nobody to talk to. She won’t look at me, talk to me, and can’t be in the same room as me. She is now bashing me to close friends, and blowing things way out of proportion. I am lost, confused, and still in love with my wife. But I can’t live like this. She refuses to get counseling, and says to leave her alone. My wife won’t talk to me but won’t leave. I need help.”

One of the best ways to cope with a wife who won’t talk to you – or a troubled marriage – is to get counseling on your own. Find ways to get as emotionally and spiritually healthy as possible. The healthier you are, the better able you’ll be to make good decisions about your life and family. A counselor (or even someone you trust and respect) can help you see how much responsibility you need to take, and how much you need to let go of.


Additionally, consider reading books like The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife’s Heart Forever. If you’re more of a handyman than a reader, think of books like this as tools to add to your tool belt! You’ll learn things from reading marriage books that you could never learn otherwise. You may not find your exact situation in the book, but the information will spill over into your own relationship.

Learning how to deal with the silent treatment in relationships is another powerful way to cope with a wife who refuses to communicate. Your wife may not be talking directly to you, but she is still communicating with you. And – often – actions are more powerful than words.

What to Do When Your Wife Refuses to Talk to You

Every marriage is different. Not only does every wife and husband have a different relationship from other couples, every marriage changes! This means that what worked for you and your wife a few years or months ago won’t necessarily work today. So, these tips for coping with a wife who won’t talk to you may not change your marriage…but they have the potential to change you.

Since you are the only person you have any control over, these tips may be more powerful than you think. It depends how you absorb and apply them to your relationship with your wife.

1. Find out your wife’s “love language”

When Your Wife Won’t Talk to You

Gary Chapman’s love languages – as described in The 5 Love Languages for Men: Tools for Making a Good Relationship Great – isn’t a gimmick. It’s a powerful way to look at communication in marriage, and find ways to connect despite months or even years of silence, miscommunication, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings.

“When you express your love for your wife using her primary love language, it’s like hitting the sweet spot on a baseball bat or golf club,” says counselor and bestselling author Gary Chapman. “It just feels right—and the results are impressive.” If you’ve never heard of “love languages”, read Examples of Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages – From Affirmation to Touch.

2. Learn how to deal with the silent treatment

I’m one of those wives who refused to talk to my husband when I was hurt, angry, jealous, or scared. I shut down emotionally and clammed up physically. My husband would try to get me to talk, but eventually give up — much sooner than I’d like! I wanted him to keep reaching out to me, because I saw it was proof of love. I was able to figure this out on my own, and I stopped “talking” to my husband this way. I don’t know why your wife isn’t talking to you, but she has reasons that may (or may not) make sense to her.

If your wife isn’t talking to you but is talking to close friends or family members, you might consider talking to them. Make sure you express your love and concern for your wife and marriage. You’re not trying to be emotionally manipulative or go behind her back; you just want to build a healthy marriage. You want to talk to your wife, but you can’t. Consider asking for their perspective about why she’s unhappy. Ask for their feedback, suggestions, and perspective. Take what they say to a counselor or someone you trust. Talk it through, find out if it rings true to you.


3. Consider the possibility that your wife is tired of trying to talk to you

Why isn’t your wife talking to you? If you honestly don’t know, then there’s a deeper problem to deal with. And that problem may be that you’re oblivious to your what your wife has been trying to tell you. You don’t know what’s going on in your marriage and home. Why is that? What have you been too busy, too stubborn, or too reluctant to hear?

Sometimes we don’t hear what our loved ones are saying. We don’t pay close enough attention, we don’t listen…and sometimes we just don’t want to admit the truth. Maybe the reason your wife won’t talk to you today is because she’s been singing the same tune for years…you haven’t heard her.

4. Accept your wife’s perception of you and your marriage

I went to a live marriage counseling session once. It was fascinating and a little weird; the pastor of our church was also a licensed, experience marriage counselor. He invited a few couples to a series of three marriage counseling sessions because many couples face the exact same problems.

One of the insights from the first live marriage counseling session was the fact that many husbands are perfectly happy with the status quo. They don’t want their lives to change because they’re satisfied with the way things are. If it ain’t broke, why fix it? Wives, on the other hand, are often more keen on trying to improve their marriages, talk more, connect on a deeper level. If your wife won’t talk to you, there might be something she’s trying to tell you.

The husband in the live counseling session said he supports his wife, doesn’t put any undue stress or strain on her, and doesn’t recognize any problems at all. They’d been married for a short time, only three years or so. Yet his wife was already tired of trying to talk to him, trying to make him see that she’s not happy with “just” being provided for and supported.

5. As far as it depends on you, create a happy home

“The five most important words describing a husband’s calling in marriage: Proactively create a happy marriage,” write Joel & Kathy Davisson, in The Man of Her Dreams The Woman of His. “Start with giving your wife twenty hugs, kisses and compliments each day. The five most important words describing a wife’s calling in marriage: Proactively respond to your husband’s efforts. When he hugs you, receive it and hug back. When he kisses you, receive it and kiss him back. When he compliments you, thank him and compliment back.”

Could it be as simple as that? Wouldn’t that be amazing! Is it possible that your wife needs to be touched, loved, hugged and complimented? I don’t know. What would happen if you tried this for a month? Even more importantly: what do you have to lose? Your wife already isn’t talking to you…how much worse could it get?

If you want to go light and easy with your wife, read 10 Easy Ways to Make Conversation With Your Girlfriend.

6. Work towards changing the only person you can: you

What to Do When Your Wife Won’t Talk to You

In 7 Ways to Be Her Hero: The One Your Wife Has Been Waiting For, Doug Fields shares seven practical, do-able actions to transform any marriage. He wrote his book the way most men seem to talk and learn – especially Christian husbands who want to build more Christlike relationships with their wives.

“Your biggest, most important job as the hero husband of her life is to identify the baggage, help her unload it, and then fill it up with what God would want her to know — how precious and wonderful she truly is,” writes Doug.

Doug believes that most men feel like they are decent at their jobs and being a parent, but they usually don’t feel like a good husband. “We want to be good husbands but we don’t know how,” he says. “We know we suck, but we don’t want to suck any more. By the end of our lives we will be glad to know we were our bride’s occasional heroes and that we tried our best. That is the key theme of a hero. They try.”

If your wife is cold and distant emotionally, read How to Love an Emotionally Unavailable Man. I wrote it for women, but the tips apply to both mean and women.

How are you coping with a wife who won’t talk to you? Feel free to share your thoughts below! Writing can be such a healthy, safe way to figure out what you really think and feel. Sometimes we find answers to questions we didn’t even know we had while we’re writing. And, sharing your story helps other husbands see they’re not alone.


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27 thoughts on “7 Ways to Respond When Your Wife Won’t Talk to You”

  1. When my wife stops talking to me I go to the garage and have a beer or watch TV. Why mess up a good thing? We have been together for 25 long years, so I look forward to the silent treatment.

  2. My wife just will not talk to me. She’s quiet, and sullen, and distant, and when I ask her what’s wrong, she just shakes her head and looks through me. I say I don’t believe her, and she just shrugs and continues to look through me until I walk away. Our situation is a little different as she was born with a condition requiring lifetime use of a wheelchair, and while she doesn’t require 24 hour care, she does need someone 24 hours a day to assist when the need arises. Because of this, she cannot work outside the home, cannot do housework, and generally feels like a useless lump. I’ve tried telling her and showing her that I understand but don’t agree with her perspective by pointing out the things she DOES do for me (bills, meal planning, budgeting) but it just doesn’t seem enough. I’m not going anywhere but it’s obvious she’s in some sort of internal turmoil, and it’s killing me to see her like this. Therapy is out of the question (her family doesn’t believe in it), as is medication, due to her condition.

  3. I so i am concerned and i dont want to lose my wife or our marriage. So before marriage my wife and I would talk everyday. Even tho she is in India and I’m in Canada the love could be felt. After marriage a few months down the road she has started to only talk to me at night (for her) morning (for me). Our conversations are simple and based upon how was her day and what she did. She doesn’t say I love you or I miss you first. And if I don’t msg her for a week she won’t miss me. Tho I have only tried it for 3 days and that was the result. I love my wife and I don’t believe in divorces. When I called her today she asked me ” did i msg you to call, no then why did you?” And then when I say I miss talking to her she says ” I’m not running away anywhere nor am I talking to any other guy or going out with guys”. And I believe that part because my gut and intuition just tells me she isn’t lying to me. She infact got mad at me when I said that if I don’t call or msg her for a week she wouldn’t notice. Even though her parents know she’s married and she is still living at home in india with them she says she is busy and can’t talk. Yet she could talk before marriage and was in the same house. I don’t understand indian girls. And I myself am indian. She isn’t educated at all but that’s not the reason as to why I married her. I saw a future with her. When I saw her my heart n soul both said that’s my wife. When your heart knows no one can explain how. My question is how do I reverse it. I can’t talk to her cuz every time I do she gets annoyed n either hangs up or changes the topic. Is there anyway I can get her to run after me, notice me, miss me, want to have that urge of talking to me again as she used to. I know she loves me because when I get sick she is there making sure I take my medicines on the phone n sleeps on the phone with me till I’m asleep. And also when I don’t go to work cuz I’m having a lazy day which I know is bad on my part she would yell at me n say i have bills to pay and a house to buy for our family later on. Any help or tips you can give would be greatful. I’ve already tried to talk to her abt it n she says I can be all lovey dovey when she is here with me. What can I do silently to make her want me, run after me, respect me, love me like she used to, I have fulfilled all her wishes. Please help.

  4. Before marriage my wife and I would talk everyday. After marriage a few months down the road she has started to only talk to me at night (for her) morning (for me). Our conversations are simple and based upon how was her day and what she did. She doesn’t say I love you or I miss you first. And if I don’t msg her for a week she won’t miss me. Tho I have only tried it for 3 days and that was the result. I love my wife and I don’t believe in divorces. When I called her today she asked me ” did i msg you to call, no then why did you?” And then when I say I miss talking to her she says ” I’m not running away anywhere nor am I talking to any other guy or going out with guys”. And I believe that part because my gut and intuition just tells me she isn’t lying to me. She got mad at me when I said that if I don’t call or msg her for a week she wouldn’t notice. Even though her parents know she’s married and she is still living at home with them she says she is busy and can’t talk. Yet she could talk before marriage and was in the same house. I don’t understand girls. She isn’t educated at all but that’s not the reason as to why I married her. I saw a future with her. When I saw her my heart n soul both said that’s my wife. When your heart knows no one can explain how. My question is how do I reverse it. I can’t talk to her cuz every time I do she gets annoyed n either hangs up or changes the topic. Is there anyway I can get her to run after me, notice me, miss me, want to have that urge of talking to me again as she used to. I know she loves me because when I get sick she is there making sure I take my medicine on the phone n sleeps on the phone with me till I’m asleep. And also when I don’t go to work cuz I’m having a lazy day which I know is bad on my part she would yell at me n say i have bills to pay and a house to buy for our family later on. Any help or tips you can give would be greatful. I’ve already tried to talk to her abt it n she says I can be all lovey dovey when she is here with me. What can I do silently to make her want me, run after me, respect me, love me like she used to, I have fulfilled all her wishes. Please help.

  5. James aka Jimbobillybobwillyjack. To my friends

    I guess I feel my wife was always talking at me always explaining some new thing she heard or read but was fine with me offering little comments into her monologues. When I go to speak about things that I read or hear it is clearly less than enthusiastic reception. Now I can’t blame because I haven’t been the emotionally supportive husband I should have been, it’s not that easy for me. It’s like intimacy for me it’s a visual thing and takes very little for me but for my wife I understand it has to do with connecting before hand through conversation romance and affirmation. But when it comes to discussing feelings it’s the opposite I don’t go super level three deep into my innermost soul in the first sentence it takes a bit before hand to bring me into a state of mind where I feel comfortable talking about myself or issues that we both face. I didn’t like feelings or emotions because they could change at a Moments notice any which way. So I dismissed them. My strength was in rational productive thought processes that gets things accomplished. And it was hard to hear I was so “cold” emotionally. I just didn’t see a need for them. Not fully realizing that was the language my wife spoke from consequently I would dismiss her emotional rants and ravings – not trying to disparage just can’t think of a better word at the moment – so when she shut down after my coldness she just wouldnt open up. Again I felt as it was my fault. Now I get called a narcissist because of that even thoug when I looked it up a lot of the same things could be said about my love. So I d love my wife but she decided it’s too little too late. We’ve been married almost 10 years July 26 2018. They’ve been rocky years years while caring for her 6 to 14 year old nephew he ca,e to live with us when he was 6 and just went Back home to live with his mom at 14 years and we could finally focus our energy into having our own children except that we had the barn burner of a fight talking about Jesus was the only way o heaven and there was no other way but she took it like I was commanding her to share the gospel with everyone she knew. But that’s the biggest source of contention between us. She made me leave my last church because of some of the doctrine she didn’t agree with by the way she felt men were exalted over women more and it wounded her but I didn’t see it so she says if I didn’t stop going she’d leave me. So I stopped -hoping that I could dwell with understanding but leaving the leading up to her. I guess I perpetuated that and made it worse by not standing as a strong Christian husband loving her as Christ loved the church. AnyWay I just wanted to share to learn from my mistakes and to start the healing process in my heart ad getting right with God. Knowing that my vertical relationship will always better my horizontal relationship . Grace md mercy at the foot of the cross.

  6. My wife and I have been married 6+ years, with 2 kids. When we first started dating, she was the talker, and I was the listener. She would often complain that I don’t share how I’m feeling enough, or engage in conversation.

    Some time after our 2nd child, she began to shut down and not talk as much. Our second child was difficult, and we both lost lots of sleep, so I didn’t think anything of it. Now that the child is over a year old and sleeping much better, she is still in the same habit. To compensate, I have become the one who is always talking and asking questions. I really just want her back to her old self, but nothing I’ve said has had any effect. It is especially hard because she won’t tell me what she is thinking/feeling, unless I prod her for the information.

    I have been super clear to her in regards to my concerns and what I feel like we need to work on, but there hasn’t been any change on her end. Should I expect things to go back to normal? What can I do to help get her there?

    1. Before I had my son, I thought I had a lot of interesting things to talk about with my husband. Afterwards, my focus was so dedicated to the day to day activities of tending to my baby’s needs that I didn’t invest much time into my interests anymore. I felt dull and worrying about baby food, nursing, diapers and sleep schedules sucked my identity dry. It was the first time I had ever felt jealous if my husband hung out with one of my female friends who didn’t have kids – I no longer felt fun, and I couldn’t force conversation about my old interests because they were fading into the past. It was hard. My interests had to change to really simple, like studying constellations or bird watching. I feel like a shell of what I was to this day, and I don’t talk as much. If I do, it doesn’t engage my husband much. He spends a lot of time tuned out on the tv and laptop and I feel walled off, so I keep busy to feel a sense of self-worth. It’s a downward spiral of “he / she does this so I’m justified to do this” badness that we’re trying to navigate. I think when it comes to kids, it’s really important for your wife to find her identity again, and if it’s different than before, understand that it’s the price you pay for having kids and sharing a more meaningful life after each hard day adds up. For me, the love and understanding is in all the little things – changing a diaper so I can sit, waiting to watch a show with me instead of without me, helping with dishes after I cook, making us tea or coffee, lighting a candle, or after I put the baby to bed I find that you put all the toys away – and most importantly of all….without having to ask for it. I would cry and say “Oh my God – he gets it!” All those little minutes can add up to me feeling like I matter again. Like I’m a person, not a shell. Every couple is different, but it’s important for you to figure out the little things that matter to your woman. Things that seem small to you may mean respect and consideration to her, and that’s HUGE. If I feel like I matter, my interests may matter again as well, and I’ll have things outside of baby worth talking about. (Note – don’t expect a verbal gold star though for doing extra…she doesn’t expect it either. If you get it – great! But the real gold stars will intangibly add up in her being over time and will make her happy meter go up.)

  7. My wife and i have been married six years. Have known each other for over 15.
    She has three sons from her first marriage. Discipline and disrespect has always been an issue. Because they were so disrespectful to both me and their mother, they moved out of state with their father. This year has been a nightmare.
    Both of the younger sons (twins) got into alcohol and possibly drugs. Badly.

    In June, one of the sons was struck and killed by a car. He was likely high or drunk, walking down a highway at night, wearing a black hoodie and black pants. The poor 75 year old man that hit him was not held or charged. My wife was devastated.

    The other son moved home from college and started rehab here while living with us. He is better but has had a few failures. There seems no chance that he will ever be able to be on his own.

    I have done an awful job of consoling my wife because I was never close to the son that died. He was not nice and even his mother and father would not talk to him at the end. The son that is still living is also very difficult to live with given his battle with addiction and other demons. This has led to a great deal of friction between my wife and I. Recently she moved out because i was doing a terrible job of supporting her. It’s been two months.

    I have been reading all I could about how to save our marriage and things were getting much better. We were reconnecting and getting along very well. We recently went to our first couples therapy session to get help on resolving the issues that remain. In my mind it was a disaster and we are back at square one. I was put in the position of telling the story of how we got to where we are. When I told the therapist about the son that was killed, I said that he essentially committed suicide by walking down a highway in the middle of the night. This is what I truly thought happened. It was my impression, because we never discussed it, that my wife pretty much thought the same. It became quickly evident that this was not the case. She believed it was just an accident. So, while I was reacting to a suicide of someone that I was not very close to, my wife was grieving the sad, accidental death of her son, Her own flesh and blood.

    The therapist did not do a very good job of helping us through the situation. Instead she prodded me as to why I thought it was a suicide which I believe made the problem worse because it made me defend my thought by adding more detail. My wife saw this as just throwing gas on the fire and an attempt to embarrass her and her son. Now she is back to not talking to me which is very disappointing to me after coming so far back in terms of regaining her trust. At this point, Im just giving her time to recover but it is so difficult to live in a situation that is so fragile that I cannot tell a doctor what I believed happened in this situation. I understand now how this could be painful for my wife, but people tell me that it is certainly not hard to believe that the son took his own life. My wife just refuses to acknowledge that possibility and thinks I have just been evil in thinking so. I have no idea how to move forward and continue working on saving a marriage she isn’t very interested in.

  8. Shyam Kumar Kedia

    I do not talk to my wife because as and when we talk she always blame me from past wrong doing, I feel depressed or guilt. Please suggest what to do. I tried my wife to change her but she never change. Suggest what to do

  9. Dear Tony,

    I wish I had the right words to fix your marriage and change how your wife talks to you, but I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what would make your wife act differently, or what you can do to smooth things over with her.

    What do you think causes your wife to lash out at you, to be so unpredictable and hurtful? Maybe that’s a clue about how to move forward with her.

    Is there anything you can do to change your marriage, or how you respond to your wife’s words or actions? You can’t change her, but you might be able to change your response to her.

    How does she want you or your marriage to change? It sounds like she’s unhappy…is she an unhappy person, or is there something in her life that makes her angry?

  10. Hi i dont no what to do my lady is pregnant and we have been happy and sole mates forever but she always puts down my kids from a past relationship.she is meen and most of the time i dont no were the lady i love has gone.i mean she has her ways of making me feel low empty and sad im an emotional male and she can get the better of me in our fights.she understands what triggers my emotions.i have done and i do any for her because i love her she stopped talking to me tonight and its hard to except my mate and his boy have came to visit us and she is jealous of that.we went out for dinner last night and she was mean to my mates boy and made him cry i got upset with her she was out of order.hes only 10 she did the same to my 7 year old daughter a while back it was so bad my daughter will never forget it and noor will i.she has a thing that if a kid is disrespectful she will make them pay by bullying them and makeing them brake down and she wont stop their she will continue to go on at the child untill i dont no cause i stop her.and her narcissistic way of control.you may be reading this and wondered what the heck im i doing with her well im starting to Dout that myself .if its running smooth she is loving kind to me and all is good.kississ hugs our sex life is hot but when its bad its bad.i think ive hit my limit with her actions or how she deals with things i cant live in fear of our future.im worried about our baby she is 7 mounths pregant and im scared she will be or have narcissistic tendencies with it.she so unpredictable help me please with some advice.

  11. The answer to difficult marriage problems – such as your wife not talking to you – is in you, your wife, and your relationship. I don’t know why your wife stopped talking to you, because I don’t know anything about your marriage, interactions, communication style, history, experiences, or personalities. Thus, I can’t give you specific advice.

    But I do have a few questions for you:

    What happened to cause the rift in your marriage? Why did your wife stop talking to you – what were the circumstances surrounding it?

    What reasons would your wife give for not talking to you? Don’t say “I don’t know.” I suspect you DO know because you’re a smart man. And, women talk. Wives stop talking if they….wait a minute! I can’t give you the answers! You need to think about your marriage and do the work yourself.

    What are your options?

    Who can you talk to about your marriage?

    Feel free to write your answers here in the comments section, or in your own private notebook. Either way, I encourage you to write down your thoughts. Writing is a great way to figure out what you really think and feel, and can give you the tools you need to rebuild your marriage.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

    1. I quite often do not listen to my wife because she thinks out loud. How am I supposed to know when, what she is saying is actually relevant to both of us. Should I listen to every word she says and then filter out what requires an answer.? I`m sorry but my mind actually needs to concentrate on some matters to hand that do not require talking. Some might say, ahh well women can multi task and talk while they act, so why cannot men.? Well therein lies a problem. Women will never understand men, yet often dictate how men should and should not act .

  12. Married for 30 years, one child my wife keep the son in my bed for 12 years he is 16 now. Her mother was living with us for over 2 years passive aggressive until I kicked her out. Since then we got into every single fight. This year is the worse.she’s has the tendency not to talk about it so she keeps the distance. This year we change for worse I don’t sleep with her since March and we stop talking since September
    No matter how long ago we stopped she has the tendency to come back again with the same hate
    Any idea?
    Thanks

  13. our 20 yr old, jobless son moved back into the house recently and within 2 days he stole lawnmower gas from me. He has done this many times and told him to leave our home if he did it again. Now he has a learning disability but is not disabled. Has educational autism is what we were told when he was younger. My wife won’t talk to me about it.
    We have had other problems before this but so in ways this don’t surprise me but come on! My wife said said, “I don’t care what our kids do…IF they hit you…you don’t hit back but you never charge or strike your children!” I agree but I feel bad already enough but its past or over so let’s talk about it!
    Other things going on but this is the just of what life is like…Mom is protective and enabling where nothing is done to hold the kids accountable at all! I set limits and rules and kids go to Mom and the opposite of what I set was trumped! Heard many times…”you don’t need to listen to your dad!”
    Wonder why our 3 oldest kids have all been caught stealing, doing drugs, jail and so on? I know I have been a part of things raising them but really…being a friend to your kids when they are young and without setting limits…here where we are today! Wife Giving-Both Love and Money! ME Giving-Love and guidance and advise! Who do you think wins the affection or attention from the kids?? Sorry for the length ..have a great night!

  14. What a ridiculous article about what husbands should do when wives don’t talk to them, of course its written by a woman. The man is to do all the work to get his wife to talk with him. Give her 20 hugs and kisses and all she has to do is kiss back.
    How about she does something proactive to show she still cares and values the husband and his love instead of expecting him to chase her his entire life. Gents, please listen to me, if she isn’t talking she is hiding secrets and secret behavior. A woman who is silent will not incriminate herself and certainly won’t talk things over. In most scenarios, the financial or physical security you have provided her has already been replaced by another man or financial means where she can provide for herself. Women don’t leave the shelter until they know they can enter another one. They are planners and you are probably a year behind her scheme.
    Five of my friends wives have left them in the last few years and every time there is another man involved, its a simple situation really, they are just tired of your flavor. Best advice I can give is to be a different flavor, don’t beg her to come back or communicate, move forward with your life and make future plans without her and intend to carry them out, she won’t be able to stand the lack of control she has over you any more. This will probably draw her back in if that is hat you want. Just remember the hunter does not chase his prey, he lures it in, and as men, we are hunters.

  15. My wife seperated from me a week ago. All she said was she needed a break and needed some time. She has not mentioned divorce and has not told me it is over but at the same time she will not communicate with me either. The only communication we have had is I texted her that I understand her position and to take all the time she needs. 24 hours later she answered “Thank You”. Also one of the reasons for the seperation was because I don’t have that good a job. I told her that I am actively seeking a better job and again over 24 hours later she answered “OK, Thanks”. I have asked her to go to counseling with me but she won’t say yes or no. We have been married 16 years and have a 13 year old son. We both made mistakes but in her eyes only I have. I am willing to accept that and told her I am sorry for all the pain I have caused her and that was never my intent. I have been giving her space but it is so hard not knowing what is going on and whether or not just is just temporary or not.

  16. my wife of over 25 years has not spoke to me in 2 years but i guess its karma at work I have been inattentive to her for many years now its payback time if there is one thing in life that makes sense its “be nice to everyone or it’ll bite u in the ass”

  17. My wife has never been much of a communicator. She retreats into the TV and her idea of a good date is a movie where we both stare straight ahead. She gets angry easily and tells me she is tired of me complaining when I thought I was just sharing my heart. If I didn’t initiate conversation we would never talk.

  18. Hello Jose,

    It sounds like marriage has been very difficult for you and your wife – and having children makes it more painful. I’m sorry for what you’re going through. You can’t force your wife to talk to you or to make your marriage work. All you can do is get as emotionally healthy and happy as you can, despite the pain and unhappiness you feel.

  19. Dear Amy,

    What is keeping you in this marriage? It sounds like you aren’t happy, and I suspect you have good reasons for staying married.

    If your husband won’t talk to you, how are you meeting your emotional needs?

    Blessings,
    Laurie

    1. Hello we’ll my wife won’t talk to me left home for two month in 2013came back home to work it out got worse in nov dec and news years 2014 have 3kids she demand a lot but she not working she said she don’t belive in marrige anymore want a divorse she be saying all this to get sacared I left home I’m stressing over all this don’t known what to do

  20. I have the opposite problem, my husband won’t talk to me at all. In fact he won’t do anything with me. We’ve been married 45+ years and he only had sex with me once, has never slept with me, eats and sleeps down in the basement. And as far as talking to me its been years since we communicate. He avoids me at all cost.

  21. If women want to be treated as equals they must communicate without games-we are not equals, never will be and never were. But we were raised to believe so, and we must contrive twisted tactics to communicate. It never quite “fits” though since it is based on such a lie. If your wife won’t talk to you then hold her accountable as an adult for her failure. Easier said than done I know

  22. My wife who I thought was my best friend left today.Im in shock eventhough for the last month or so I knew something wasnt right.She just no longer cared about spending anytime with me.I feel embarrased,stupid,angry,upset all at the same time.

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