What to Remember When You Miss Your Boyfriend 

How do you cope when all you can think is “I miss my boyfriend”? I understand what it feels like to miss someone so much it feels like you’re missing a piece of yourself. My tips won’t permanently erase your loneliness, but they will encourage and support you.

These ten tips will comfort and cheer you, and perhaps even help you blossom in ways you never thought possible. Whether your relationship in a slump, your boyfriend is too busy or you’re coping with a breakup you’ll find encouragement here. And, you’ll see that you are not alone.

“I am constantly asking my boyfriend if he misses me and loves me,” says Bridget on What to Do When Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Have Time for You. “We live three states apart but we do see each other every month. I know my constantly saying how much I miss him makes my boyfriend frustrated. He has his own interesting life and I can’t force him to miss me as much as I miss him. I want to be happy in myself, whether or not my boyfriend is here with me. I will take your advice and work on myself and do things that will be good for me, such as my college studies and career plans. If my prince returns to my side than I’ll know he truly loves me and if not the right one will come in time!”

The most important thing to remember when you miss your boyfriend is that he is not the source of your joy, hope, peace, or life. He is not your prince or knight in shining armor. Your boyfriend is simply a man with faults and weaknesses – and strengths and talents, too! But he is just a guy, and your life is bigger than one relationship.

If you make your boyfriend the source of your joy, love and purpose, then you’re missing out on Something Even Greater. What could be better than the love of a boyfriend, you ask? You’ll see…

In this article, I share the most important things to remember when you feel sad and lonely because you miss your boyfriend. This is what works for me when all I can think is “I miss my husband” (he’s a geologist who goes away on work trips for most of the summer).

10 Things to Do and Remember When You’re Missing Your Boyfriend

If your boyfriend is away for a trip, I know how you feel! My husband left today for a month-long work trip in the Yukon – he’s a geologist, and every summer he goes away for long work stints in the field. We’ve been married 14 years, and it does get easier…but I vividly remember those “I miss my boyfriend” days before we got married.

Missing your boyfriend is bittersweet. You love him, yet he’s not around. This makes his absence sort of sweetly painful, deliciously heartbreaking.

1. Know why you miss your boyfriend

It may sound silly at first glance, but there are many different reasons you may be missing your boyfriend! And the reasons you miss him will affect how you cope with his absence.

Maybe you miss your boyfriend because:

Maybe your boyfriend is sitting right beside you, and yet you miss how close your relationship used to be. Maybe you miss the conversations you had, or the activities you did as a couple.

It’s important to figure out why you miss your boyfriend, because your “why” will help you figure out how to fill your life in more fulfilling ways. Learning how to deal with life when you miss your boyfriend depends – in part – on your personality, lifestyle, and interests.

Even more importantly, filling that empty space in your heart and soul requires you to accept that your boyfriend is not your purpose in life. There is only one way to fill your life with peace, joy, and freedom – and that is the gospel truth.

2. See your boyfriend’s absence as an opportunity for you to blossom!

When my husband goes away I don’t focus on how much I miss him. Instead I try to learn something new about myself, my life, my passions. For example, one summer I learned that I could no longer live on a small island in British Columbia. My husband was away for nine weeks that time, and I was so lonely. I’m a full-time writer, so I don’t have alot of “people” time. I’m an introvert so I’m happy with that – but even I couldn’t handle that much time alone! I learned that to be fulfilled – to blossom – I needed to move off that isolated island.

What about you – what can you learn from this time apart from your boyfriend? Do a quick scan of your body: do you feel physically heavy, sore, sick, or tired? Take care of your health. Maybe you need a massage, a new exercise routine, or a different type of diet plan. Maybe you need to run, swim, bike, or dance! Listen to your body; she is telling you what you need.

3. Blossom into who you were created to be

I wrote When You Miss Him Like Crazy for readers who feel helpless, hopeless, and alone. “I miss him so much it hurts,” said a woman after her boyfriend broke up with her after nine years. Another said reader can’t stop thinking about her ex and obsessing about the divorce. She just can’t move on.

You might still be in a relationship and missing your boyfriend because he lives far away, or is too busy for you. Use this time to grow forward in your life, to get in touch with your hopes, dreams and faith. You were meant for more than this! Don’t sit around waiting. Start blossoming.

“My boyfriend is a workaholic and only sees me once every 2 weeks. It’s not enough time for me. My last boyfriend was the same way but he had a different job. I miss my boyfriend but I think the universe is trying to tell me that I have to stop waiting for guys and start living my life. If your boyfriend doesn’t have time for you then you need to let him go. Stop thinking how much you miss him and get a life!

4. Believe that your boyfriend’s absence is happening for a reason

Whether you miss your boyfriend because of a temporary trip or you’re actually struggling to fill the emptiness of missing your ex-boyfriend, there is a reason for this time in your life. God is working behind the scenes, drawing you closer, waiting for you to pay attention to Him.

If you find yourself dealing with the same problems – emotionally distant boyfriends, breakups, unstable relationships – you haven’t learned what you’re supposed to learn. God will keep giving you this experience until you learn what you need to know. The reason I struggle with the same problems over and over is because I don’t deal with them properly. So, I have to live through the same season over and over. It’s like Groundhog Day with Bill Murray. He had to relive the same day repeatedly until he learned what he needed to know.

There is a reason you’re going through this. There’s a reason you miss your boyfriend, and a reason you’re going through this season of your life. What is it? Take time to figure it out, because that is how you will find joy and peace.

5. Remember that feelings of loneliness or emptiness don’t have to control you

Sadness, loneliness, depression, rejection – those heavy feelings don’t have to rule your heart and spirit. You feel sad, lonely, and depressed because the I miss my boyfriend thoughts are crowding every positive or powerful thought you have…but it doesn’t have to be this way.

Allow yourself to admit your feelings. Maybe you feel unloved, broken hearted, stressed, sick, obsessed with your boyfriend, used, or hopeless. Take a moment to figure out how you feel. Then, decide what feelings you want to rule your day.

Do you want to live in the toxic and unhealthy “I miss my boyfriend so much I could die” world? No! You’d rather live in the healthy and joyful world of “I miss my boyfriend, but I am growing spiritually and emotionally stronger, and I am pursuing peace, joy, acceptance, surrender, and God.”

6. Create a life that interests and amazes you!

missing my boyfriend

Are you consumed or obsessed by thoughts of your boyfriend? Read 11 Ways to Stop Being the “Clingy Girlfriend” in a Relationship. Every time you find yourself sad and lonely because you miss your boyfriend, pick something new to try on the list. This is a practical thing to do when you miss your boyfriend.

If you’re lonely and sad because you and your boyfriend broke up, you need to find healthy ways to cope when you miss your boyfriend. Don’t allow your pain to swallow you, chew you up, and walk all over you. Grieve your loss, and seek joy in your life. Remember that your feelings of loneliness and sadness will pass. Whether you and your boyfriend broke up for good or are only separated for a short time, you will feel better if you actively try to rise above the gray feelings.

7. Refocus your thoughts

Instead of obsessing about how lonely you feel or why your boyfriend doesn’t talk to you, pick one thing on this list of tips. What will you do when you miss your boyfriend? Do it, don’t just shrug it off. Accept that you miss your boyfriend, then refocus your thoughts on something else. Don’t let the loneliness and emptiness become who you are.

If your boyfriend is away – or you’re in a long distance relationship – remember that he cares about you. This time apart can actually be good for your relationship, and might even make your love stronger and deeper. Or, maybe your boyfriend’s absence will help you see him more clearly and objectively. Maybe you’ll see that you’re different when he isn’t around…and maybe you’ll like who you are without him. Maybe you’ll blossom into who God created you to be in unexpected ways!

8. Learn how to miss your boyfriend and be happy anyway

Look up and meet God’s gaze. Who did He create you to be? Why are you here on earth? What will you do with your one wild and precious life?

Don’t let your relationship with your boyfriend define who you are. He may be a good, healthy part of your life but he isn’t who you are. Your boyfriend isn’t — or shouldn’t be — your whole life. What dreams, plans, aspirations has He planted in your heart? Look beyond your relationship for your happiness. Your boyfriend can’t be responsible for how happy and fulfilled you are in your life.

9. Find healthy, fulfilling ways to spend your time – and your life!

Your boyfriend is one part of your life. He is not (or he shouldn’t be!) the reason you exist. He isn’t the foundation of your happiness or joy, and shouldn’t be the focus of all your time and attention.

No matter how wonderful and lovable your boyfriend is, he is not God. Your boyfriend is lovable. Sweet. Kind. Sexy. But your boyfriend is worthy of only one portion of your life, time and energy – no matter how much you miss him. Give him that portion…and give yourself the gift of freedom. Don’t make your boyfriend the center of your life or the reason you exist. Don’t fall into the trap of only caring what your boyfriend thinks, wants, and does.

10. Learn “healthy detachment” in your relationship

Healthy detachment is allowing your boyfriend to be himself — and allowing you to be yourself — while still loving him. One way to do this is to write through your feelings when you’re feeling particularly lonely. First, write down how you feel and what you wish was happening in your life. Then, give yourself three pieces of advice. What healthy things should you do when you miss your boyfriend? What change do you need to make in your life or relationship? What is holding you back, and how can you get out of your own way?

letting go of someone you love book laurie pawlik she blossoms

If you miss your boyfriend because you and he broke up, read How to Let Go of Someone You Love: 3 Powerful Tips and 75 Secrets for Healing Your Heart. It’s an ebook I wrote to help women let go after a breakup and start moving forward in joy, peace, and strength.

Learning how to miss your boyfriend — especially after a breakup — is about grieving. It takes time to heal your heart and move forward with your life, but it will happen. You won’t always feel this bad. You’ll come through this happier, healthier and stronger than you ever were before.

Feel free to share your thoughts below! What do you think about my tips for coping when you miss your boyfriend? You might find it helpful to write about your feelings; writing is one of the best ways of working through pain and loneliness, and learning something new about ourselves.

In peace and passion,



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57 thoughts on “What to Remember When You Miss Your Boyfriend ”

  1. I’m in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend. We live twelve hours apart and 822 miles apart. It’s really hard not being able to go on dates or just hang out with him. I miss him a lot and I know it’s because I don’t have much of a social life. I go to school and then i do homework and talk to him but that’s it. I don’t really have anything else in my life besides my family and we don’t do a lot as a family. I wish I knew how to find things to fill up my time. My parents won’t let me get a job even though I’m almost 18 because they think it’s too much with school. I read and I try to distract myself so I’m not clingy or needy when it comes to my boyfriend but it’s really hard. I also have anxiety so I worry that my boyfriend doesn’t miss me as much as I miss him but I know he’s just busy. He has friends and soccer and school which is a lot and his days are full. He makes time for me though and we love each other and we know that. I just wish I didn’t miss him so much because I think I’m being clingy and acting needy and I don’t want him to be annoyed with me.

  2. My boyfriend is preparing for upsc he says that i will meet me after 2 years but i can’t help myself to stop missing him .. It really feels very bad when he doesn’t sends any message . i told him that i don’t need much time but a talk in a day just for few minutes but he says then he can’t focus on his studies what should i do…

  3. Thank you for the article! It’s very helpful. I miss my boyfriend terribly, as he often gets overwhelmed with relationships. He needs time to be on his own, to think things over, he’s easily irritated by my calls. That’s why I try not to call him at all and I rarely send him messages not to bother him… But that hurts. It seems to me I could spend every minute of my life next to him, it doesn’t matter where, but I believe it’s wrong. He doesn’t feel this way and I think he’s more harmonic person than I am.
    So maybe you’re write, God sends these lessons to us for us to grow and to learn who we truly are.

  4. This article is such a helpful one ! I m in such a bad condition ! My mind keeps on thinking about that guy who says me to go in hell or just don’t even tok to him what should I do

  5. When you miss your boyfriend it’s tempting to allow every thought, feeling, and plan to focus on him. The yearning for his presence is almost physical, deep in your heart and soul.

    Instead of letting your feelings control you, use this time to grow into the woman God created you to be. Take time to get emotionally and physically healthy! Rebuild your relationship with Jesus — or at least learn something new about Him. Find out who you are apart from your boyfriend. You were created for a reason, for purpose and meaning, to fulfill a destiny God laid out for you alone. Don’t waste your life missing a man, when you could live fully and completely!

    May you find joy, peace, and faith as you grow deeper into yourself. I pray for more power, strength and freedom in your life. Freedom from the sorrow of missing your boyfriend – and power to move forward into a bright new future.

    With His love,

  6. I’ve only known this guy a week but we fit so well together. He works a lot. He is also in the Reserves. He’s getting deployed and I’m leaving for basic training soon. I’ll be leaving in a month and when I graduate, that’s when he’s getting deployed. I enjoy his company when I can and I miss him when I’m not with him. I also know that things might not work long distance but I want them to work. I usually take my time. I’m the slow type but with him, I liked him right away. I can sense that I’m falling in love with him. The timing is terrible but I don’t mind because I’m up for the challenge. I’m enjoying getting to know him but if I miss him now, what will I feel when were hundreds and thousands of miles apart? I’m also scared of being in love alone.

  7. My boyfriend just headed off to Navy basic training. He hasn’t been gone a week yet, and my anxiety about him changing, being gone for another seven weeks (~2 more with zero contact with me still), and then being stationed away from me and deployed off and on for the next five years.. We’ve only been together for four months, but I’ve been best friends with him for six years. I miss him so much, and I’m so scared. I constantly wonder what he’s doing, and worry about how they’re breaking him down in bootcamp.. I wish I could even just send him a letter, but right now that’s impossible…

  8. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now and he has just moved 5 hours away to university just 2 days ago and I haven’t stopped crying since he left. We have had trust issues in the past where he has been quite secretive about things, mainly about who he is friends with which I think is making it harder for me to trust that he is being faithful at uni. I’m used to seeing him almost everyday and talking all the time and right up u til he got to uni he was really upset and wanted to come home but now he is there and has had his first night I seem to have just been forgotten about which I know is selfish of me because I want him to enjoy is time there. It’s been hard because he’s saying he has really bad phone service and can’t get the wifi to work so we’ve barely spoken since he got there and I’ve just been sitting in my room waiting for him to call or text:( I miss him so much and I can’t help overthinking who he’s with and what girls he’s probably with and getting drunk with. I don’t know what to do and how to stop missing him so much and feeling paranoid. I’m constantly crying:(

  9. I miss him, I don’t like the word boyfriend because I don’t like to consider him that, religious reasons lol. I miss him because he filled a empty part I had, I don’t need him in my life but I would love to have him in it. I miss him because I’m going through some rough times right during schoolwork and stress and family and feel like I would like to talk to him about the things going on. He’s great

  10. I recently came across two types of love in the past 24 hours. There is the ”oh i love my boyfriend, he is amazing” and the ”The thought of not being with you is the worst feeling in the world, i love you”
    My boyfriend has recently left for a trip with his friends. It’s a three day thing and 5 hours away from where I am. (I know it’s not that long apart) Last night my anxiety and depression hit so hard that I ended up having to call my dad to help calm me down. I was on the kitchen floor for two hours and I didn’t have the strength to get up. Anxiety and depression have been a constant in my life until I met my boyfriend. I am super happy around him and the past 8 months have been the greatest time of my life. We went through so much, that I feel we could take on the world. He knows about my struggles that I’ve dealt with, and non less supports me. So when he was about to leave I was crying , and he knew how much I was sad for him to go. He made sure to see me the day before he left so we could spend time together. When he called me the morning of him leaving my anxiety spiked. I started crying and made sure to suppress my anxiety attack until we ended the call. I haven’t talked to him much because I know he needs his space with his friends. He asked how I was doing, but I couldn’t tell him that his being away having an amazing time, was literally the worst time i’ve experienced. It felt like all the happiness and coping mechanisms I’ve been practicing went out the window, and I was a mess. I needed him by my side, but I couldn’t tell him out of the fear of ruining his trip and making him worry about me. He deserves being with his friends, and having time away from me. I know he can’t see me everyday, and talk to me every moment. (We’ve had these conversations together) however him going away made me appreciate how much I really love him, and what I need to do in the future to prevent another spell that life throws at me. Reading this blog really helped me understand the steps I need to put forth to improve my quality of life when he is not around, as well as getting me out of bed and finding myself.

  11. My boyfriend is two years older than I am, and we’re long distance (he’s in grad school, I’m an undergrad). We love each other very much and want our relationship to reflect Christ and the church. Distance is difficult for both of us, prayer and advice are welcome and much needed.

  12. My boyfriend and I just left to go back home for the summer(we live in different states). Its proving to be very tough. I sometimes feel like I’m more affected by us being away from each other than he is. We won’t see each other for 2 months and I’m afraid that he’s going to reconnect with his ex-gf. I don’t want to be a crazy clingy gf, but I wish there was a way I could ask him to make me feel like we’re not so far away and he still thinks about me.

  13. It’s hard to be in a long distance relationship! My husband and I lived apart for a year before we got married…but you know what? That year helped us see that we were meant to be together, and that our love could stand the test of distance and time. So, if you miss your boyfriend because you’re living apart, remember that this could be the relationship test that shows you you’re meant to be together. Savor the sweet sting of missing him, because it’s a sign of love and possibility for your future…and stay in touch with him as much as possible :-)

  14. I miss my boyfriend because we are in a long distance relationship. We’re both in different universities across the country and do not live in one region so it’s going to take months before we see each other

    1. Helo I can feel ur missing feel.. I’m on same situation.. Me and my boyfriend pare in different countries.. I left my native country and came here for my hight studies.. We see each other 10 months once.. We won’t b together in any special moments like his and my birthday new-year our anniversary etc.. But whenever we see 10 months once we make it special.. Only because of distance love become strong.. I have felt it.. Even than being together being apart for few days makes us miss more and love more.. Just enjoy this missing feeling.. Only few days you will will him.. After you both married you can’t miss eachother anymore

  15. I’m in a relationship with a 9 years older man, while I’m 16, this might be strange to some but it’s perfect with him.. since I can’t really talk with my mother about it, I’m just gonna get some advice here. He lives in another country than me, about 1500km seperate us, I’ve never in my life met such a wonderful man like him, he is such a intelligent beast, he also studies he is soon gonna get his master degree wich I’m very very proud of him, he also is a very thoughtfull men, I’m not even sure if that a good adjective cuz it’s so unique, he thinks a lot about things and you could say he is always right, beside all that he is a great cook, a handyman and so.. sooo beautiful.

    I’ve been missing him a LOT the last months, I’ve had a LDR before so I knew that phase, and I let myself go cause I knew its gonna be over.. but it didn’t really, every night I cried myself into sleep, with a pain the chest like someone stabbed me. I’m being honest to myself, i’m probably a bit ”addicted” to him. I’ve been getting a tiny bit better lately, I made a long list of things why I should be happy (in reference to him) then what things I feel, then my problems cause I had developed some insecurities cause I was so amazed by him, and how to solve them.

    So to all in a LDR keep going, there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

    1. Worried For You, Praying

      Be careful. I fell into the same trap when I was your age and it turned out to be a big mistake that nearly got me killed. Be cautious with older men, especially when they are by law too old to be in a relationship with you (this is called child molestation, even at age 16) and be cautious of a man you have never met and a man in another country. This goes for women too. What’s going on is illegal and is potentially dangerous. Believe me, when I was a minor and the same thing happened to me, getting my mother involved was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. These people are scammers and sexual predators. They seem so amazing because they want to seem amazing to you. They seem intelligent because they want to seem intelligent. You do not know this person’s real side. Beware.

    2. Please reconsider dating this man going forward. I’m sure you have strong feelings for him, and he may feel the same about you. BUT, wait till you’re older. Seriously, if he can’t respect that and wait for you, he is not worth your time. You sound intelligent, so I hope you do the right thing and look out for your well being first and foremost. He is a grown man by 25+, he should be able to take care of himself and respect the point in life you are at right now. I only say this as someone who at 18 fell for someone in their late 20’s. He was so kind to me initially, and I was ready to consider him my “forever”. Eventually through spending more time with him, I realized he wasn’t who I thought he was. I broke things off with him, it really hurt at first, but I had to grow and spend some time on my own. I am very happy now years later! I met a man who is only one year older than me, (We actually reconnected by accident, he’s from my hometown where we graduated together!) He is above and beyond who I thought I deserved, at least, 18 yr old me would have imagined. I’m glad I didn’t settle for that first relationship, he’s now approaching 40, but still stuck in his twenties mindset wise. It made me realize that a guy who couldn’t get a women closer to his age, probably wasn’t desirable to them for a reason. So, consider getting some space from him for a while, I think in the long-run your future-self and the lucky guy who connects with you will appreciate it!

  16. I’ve a workaholic , high ambitious boyfriend, who’s always worrying about his career and only his future .. and the whole situation makes me feel that he doesn’t need me anyomre ..he just takes the amount of care and love i give to him , but doesn’t really return anything..
    i don’t know..all of this was so unexpected and i feel heartbroken now..

    1. Hello
      Do u know anything about his exes? I know for a fact that guys with a lot of failed relationships had lost thier hopes in relationships a bit, or he had some very bad expierience with them maybe?

      Else maybe he is a introvert, shy or just doesn’t know how to express his feelings for you?
      try talking to him in a good moment.

      Good luck my dear

  17. So I’m in high school, and my boyfriend and I have been dating for around 6 months. Everybody, including us, knows it will go for more than high school. He’s loving, caring, all the things a boyfriend should be. But, he’s originally from MN and I, we, live in OH. He moved to OH to stay with his mom, but his family is from MN. He goes there often to see family, or other reasons. Sometimes he leaves randomly and it’s hard not to get upset when our plans are cancelled. MN is 18 hours away from OH. It’s hard not to give up because of the obstacles.

  18. Thank you so much, this is really helpful! My boyfriend and I have a long distance relationship and only get to see each other a few times a month. I only saw him earlier today and now I feel stupid because I was crying because I miss him so much. I keep telling my friends how much I miss him but I feel terrible because I don’t want them to get annoyed or feel pressured because I won’t stop rambling. But now thinking over things, he doesn’t live too far away, maybe half an hour at most, and I might be seeing him in a couple weeks time. It is going to go slowly, but I just need to remember that this is happening because God wants me to become a stronger person and he is with me through all of this. Sometimes I wonder if he misses me too. And then I think, yes, he does. He is the one who asked me to be his girlfriend, all of his friends tell me how much he loves me, he is always really happy to see me when we meet up. Once again, thank you so much for writing this and I feel like I have got my emotions out a bit now that I have written this comment.

    1. Hello

      Let me tell you something, if you ever get the thought that he doesn’t miss you or even doesn’t love you. Men work different than women, while women express thier love through words, and often also overuse the sentence I love you, wich has nothing to do with this, justa side note, men tend to show thier love with things like the time they spend with you, why would he spend hours of hours with you if he didn’t love you? or why would he respect your negative sides, although humans for that matter dislike people because they don’t fit in thier world! so think of these things, it will help you

      Good luck my dear

  19. I am a freshman in college and after two years of dating I am finally in a relationship with the boy I had a crush on when I was a freshman in high school and he was a senior. He is the most amazing man and he treats me like a princess. I feel completely comfortable being myself around him and I know that he loves me for who I am. The only problem is that he lives in my hometown which is nine hours away from my college, and though he has made trips to see me, school, work, and distance prohibit us from seeing eachother as much as we’d like to. I miss him all the time but this article was so helpful. Sometimes I do drown in the passion I have for him. I’m going to use the tips in this article to focus more on my spiritual growth. I’m only nineteen I have a lot more growing to do.

  20. Thank you. My boyfriend and I love each other dearly. He cannot imagine his life without me so cannot I. However, I’m missing him a lot lately even after spending the whole weekend together. Duh. Shall try my best to be positive and constructive. ❤️

  21. I’m leaving a comment cause I have all those things in my life and I still miss him so much I can’t breathe. A big rift between he and my sons caused the breakup and I chose my sons. I need an article on how to deal with putting my adult sons lives over mine.

  22. I need help! I had a bad feeling this girl my boyfriend has known since childhood he always claimed was just like a sister to him. She is dating someone but in the back of my mind I feel like they had some attraction to each other. My anxiety welled up inside me and my boyfriend said that he would never date her ever. I asked him to message her with intent to express feelings for her in a hypothetical sense if they were single if they would date. He did so and she messaged him back and said yes and she had always had a crush on him since they were kids but didn’t want to screw up their friendship. Now that I know this and asked him if he would consider her in the future if it doesn’t work out for us. He said it’s possible. My heart sank and I lost all self confidence I had in myself. He told me never but now there’s a possiblility. What do I do!?

    1. Take a deep breath and stay calm my friend. He’s with you. YOU ! I am wondering if there are any guys u think are cute and that u have an emotional connection with. But in a commited relationship you are both chosing every day to stay IN. Its hard not to let our men rule our world, but for many many good men, the more freedom, affirmation, and trust u give them, the closer they come to you. Give him the clear picture u r not worried about him. Make a list of 3 wonderful things about you and read them to yourself.
      I am out of room but i think its ok to ask him to not see her except in group settings while u r dating. See what boundaries feel right and feel like they would make u feel safe.

    2. Nellie,

      It seems your self confidence may have been affected before, because you clung to the non-existence of a potential future relationship in which you and your boyfriend are broken up, and she’s single. I completely understand, we have all been there. We’ve all experienced that girl that he’s just a little too close to for our liking, and we struggle with how to handle our jealousy and this possible threat. The truth is that your boyfriend is in a relationship with YOU and not her. You opened up a bit of a can of worms by asking him to message her and encouraging them both to think about their feelings about each other instead of keeping the focus in your relationship on you and your boyfriend. When we are feeling threatened sometimes it is difficult to take a step back and ask ourselves, okay, am I being reasonable or am I reacting to a thought that is unprovoked? It’s possible that he thought he would never date her, but after speaking with her about their feelings he realized that he could possibly be interested in a different scenario. The best thing to do when you’re jealous is to yes talk to your boyfriend and ask him if you have anything to be worried about and get it all out on the table, but then leave it alone. Don’t ask again, and again, putting the idea into his brain and asking him to confess imaginary feelings to see the outcome! That would drive anyone crazy, because if you weren’t around of course he would move on, I would hope that in this scenario all of us would move on and not mourn over one person forever. Instead, it’s better to look at yourself and see why you feel so worried that he will cheat or leave you. Is it due to past bad relationships? Something that he did to you? Find the root of your insecurity and address that instead. Focus on improving the relationship and bond between you and your boyfriend by doing activities or spending quality time together! And maybe consider therapy if this is an anxiety that is just not going away, I’ve found this route to be very helpful. I wish you the best of luck and God bless you!

  23. HI !
    It is quite embarrassing to write on such a open kind of page but I really have a problem I am not able to get over with. My boyfriend and me were living in The United States. Then about 4 months back our family had to shift due to some business reason, all the way to the U.A.E. Right now I am dying to see him again. It is just sooo hard to live without him around me. please suggest what can I do.

  24. My boyfriend and I started living together recently. He went away for a week now on a business trip. I’ve kept myself busy. I’m actually glad that I’ve been so productive, usually when he’s around, I tend to focus and do things with him. It also reached a point where his calls are distracting lol. Calls are not a part of our daily routine, we’re used to talking at the end of the day face to face now. In the past when we lived away from each other, calls were essential to our communication. I’m glad I’ve been able to have a lot of me time and refocus on myself. These moments, I realise are golden for self-growth :)

  25. I miss my boyfriend a lot. He’s constantly working and is extremely busy now. I don’t get to see him as often as I did. And I don’t know why this impacts me a lot. I get extremely sad on some days and cry to him about it. I know he wants to see me too but he’s too busy to even think about those thoughts. I just really miss him.

  26. I fall in love around a year ago. He is a guy I knew from very long. The first time we meet we were 10 and 11, I guess. We only meet in summer. When I just turn 13 and he was 12, it was the first time he kissed me. And I terribly fall for him. My heart was beating like crazy and I clound sleep no more. Then we didn’t see eachother the following 5 years, of course I wasn’t thinking about him. Last summer I saw him again. And for some reason I looked out his chat and texted him if he wants to meet. It was curious, but just in that moment this crazy heartbeat returns. I was getting really nervous around him, I didn’t even knew why. Then I returned to Germany. (I’m living in Germany, he is from spain). The next month I could stop thinking about him. No matter what he was in my mind. With some other reasons I figured out that I want to go spend some time in another country, and then my mom just found this incredible art college in Madrid, his city. So I packed my stuff and came there.
    We meet directly and then regularly. At this point we both don’t wanted a relationship. I was just out of a relationship for a couple of month and he was bussy doing his finals for school (he’s a half year younger than me). Anyway we had a sexual relation. And it ended up he’s just texting me around 3am asking what I’m doing. I need to say I didn’t took my feeling serious then. I thought I just was reliving a crush from my ‘childhood’. I was so wrong. A day we meet in January it made finally click and I realized how deep I was already fallen for him. I ended the contact directly.
    The next half year I was extremely heartbroken, as I never was before. The pain was incredible deep. I woke up in pain realizing he is not around. In this time I started modeling and went to different cities, but still it was hard. Even worse because he didn’t accept my decision and always after a month recall texting me that he miss me. I meet him 3 times in this half years. After that I always tried to get away from him. But I get really emotional.
    Finally I saw him in the summer, where we always spend vacation with the families. We spend a night together. It was perfect. It felt perfect. He told me that we need each other.
    But after that I returned to Germany against my plans. He really wanted me to stay in Madrid, even though he don’t wanted a relationship or anything. I decided to leave.. after that I told him that he never could give me the respect that I deserve. He said he’s sorry for that. But I ended the contact with saying goodbye.

    Sorry for this endless long text, but I really wanted to share this. I rarely never spoke about him or us. It feels good to share. Lots of regards

  27. Thank you Laurie. That did make me feel pumped about my own self. He’s a great guy and he will be happy if I am happy with myself. You give me a good start to rediscover myself. Thank you because your article opened my heart to myself.

  28. Hi Shawn,

    It sounds like you’re saying that you get the feeling that your boyfriend isn’t being fully honest with you about his reasons for not being intimate…and that may be a sign of lack of trust in your relationship.

    Take a look through this article….do you think your relationship is “bad”, or do you just need to find better ways to communicate with your boyfriend?

    10 Warning Signs of a Bad Relationship

  29. I’m actually homosexual so I broke up with my boyfriend after we had sex so I felt he doesn’t care about me in a way that I do to him I go miles for him I never asked anything so after the break up 3 weeks later he texts me and says well I hope you’re doing okay and yeah I text him back telling him how much I miss him and all he says it back so we been back together for like 2 months now so we haven’t been intimate we were planning sooner but right now he says his celibate for a culture thing so I understand but I’m feeling other wise about what his saying what do I do

  30. Hi Cynthia,

    How do you feel about asking this nice man out for dinner? Maybe he feels a little rejected because you asked him to slow down. Maybe he misses you as much as you miss him!

    If you miss your boyfriend and you’re 70 years old, I say ask him out on a date. What have you got to lose?

  31. hello, well I was dating this really nice man, he wanted to have sex pretty quick, I told him to slow down a few times, I am 70. Then finally I told him I wasn’t ready for such a intimate relationship and I just wanted to be friends, well he continued to pursue me and I finally told him we were through. Well I see him quite often, like on a daily basis, I miss his laughter and caring attitude, I sit next to him now at our meetings and we give good hugs. But he doesn’t seem to be making any advances towards getting back together with me. I am trying to live my life fully, but I think about him all the time, what do I do ??

  32. A frusterated boy

    What if you aren’t religious? I don’t believe in god. Like, at all. I can’t find anything but Christian sites for help. Then all I’m told is that I need to turn to god. Not all atheists are bad. I’m not. And it’s frusterating that the only help I get is something I can’t do. Course then there’s the probledm of me being gay…

    1. Of these 7 things to remember when you miss your boyfriend, only 2 were about God! What about the other tips for letting him go and moving on with your life?

      And, maybe God is trying to get your attention :-) Maybe that’s why you can’t find anything but Christian websites for help. Maybe God’s calling you to hang out with Him because He wants you to know His peace, love, and joy.

      Do you still miss your boyfriend, or are things getting easier?

    2. Dear frustrated boy. I’m sorry. I’m sorry no answers seem to come. You are loved so very very much. And so deeply. I’m sorry many people make jesus seem like a quick fix to our deep rooted pain. He’s not. I have followed him for 40 years and i still am full of many different kinds of grief, trauma and loss. There are days i feel he has forgotten me b/c things are so bad. u are actually just where you need to be and just how you need to be. He wants to be your friend. Thats all. No changes required. He will comfort you. Perhaps when u read the book of psalms. Perhaps He will comfort u as you cry in your brokenness. What nobody tells you is that his voice can sound very much like your own thoughts. So u might hear hear, “its going to be ok, you are going to be ok, you are going to live through this” and think oh thats just me. But sometimes its not at all what you were thinking, its a shift in direction, loving change, a loving encouragement. He just says come. As you open yourself up to him he slowly becomes more clear. But even then when u are in a dark place like i am right now, you can feel totally alone. I am a huge believer in counseling and i am shopping for a good one. I have found the more i talk and journal the more i am healed. I am also a huge fan of psychology. I read online, i watch ted talks or u tube speakers, i get out in my hammock in nature. I give myself time to grieve and cry and then i tell myself ok, now time for a walk. Nothing in this life is easy. You are on the right path b/c you are seeking healing and u will find it. Maybe listen to andy Stanley. He has a gay son i think and welcomes everyone at his churches. And thats how jesus is. He says come be near me. And he also gives us encouragement through many other venues. We live in an extreemly isolated cuture. I read a lot of articles on loneliness. I read a lot of articles by psychology today. They seem like very solid articles. I think we are also healed by good friendships and those can be hard to find. I am going to pray for some loving friends to come into your life and for you to feel peace tonight. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

  33. my lover is going for a trip to a hilly place for about 5 – 6 days… the distance is too long…. but he wil come before a week… even though i am getting mad…. coz i love him more than me… we sometimes fight for only one reason that in 2 of us who loves most ….. he always say that wherever he go he carry me in his heart….and when he miss me…he touches his chest and says ‘ i knw u r here ‘ …….. that much he loves me…. i knw tht.. nw we are not married as i am only 17… but… he is my hus and i am his wife thtz it.. i cried a lot. and just googled for this… thnks

  34. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years and we are in a long distance relationship. He always reminds me to pray for him if I miss him and vice versa. So, pray for your boyfriend if you miss him and surrender him to God. Have a blessed day~
    -Greetings from Malaysia-

  35. I miss my boyfriend cuz we are long distance relationship and he works 6 up to 6 .When he is not tired I talk to him many hours but sometimes I felt like depression when he didn’t call me all the day .often I started to solve it and busy something else that is forget me how much I miss him .

  36. these tips are helping me to carry my heavy load for my boyfriend, I miss him so much, thank you so much for this.

  37. I guess falling in love isnt about falling in love, but learn how to treat yourself first. And thats whats we always forget when we fall for someone..we intentionally lost ourselves for them when in fact its our fault. And I just realized that we need to love ourself before anything else especially the guidance of Jesus Christ. Amen. And no forever for love only God is forever.

  38. I’m in a long distance relationship, and my boyfriend recently Had to go to prom with a friend – he felt bad for her. We never got to talk that night, which was hard enough. The next day, easter (2017) he took his little sister around town. For the whole day.
    That night, I texted him at 3am. I waited all night for him..
    I asked if he was going to be busy the next day.
    He got back, saying
    “Yes, sorry. Alot is going on”
    So I replied back, saying I understood, and that I could wait, but I lied! I can’t wait.. it is so hard when someone who is so close to you.. just gets ripped away and you don’t know what’s going on..
    I left an “I love you…” and haven’t got anything back. I need to stop overthinking!!

    1. Emma Louise Snape

      I been with my boyfriend for a year and I miss him lots even kown I see him one or twice a week i let him k I miss him but I guess that’s to much I don’t text him or call him all the time but I still ask how he is I know he very busy but I miss the days we just spend together k I only get see him a few hours before or both go to work he is my best friend and my soul mate I k I shouldn’t miss him so much but that’s impossible for me

  39. I miss my boyfriend so much, his name is aiden, he is half korean and half philippine. I miss spending time with him.

  40. The best thing you can do when you miss your boyfriend is go deeper into your sadness and loneliness — even though that seems counterintuitive or even crazy! No matter how great your boyfriend is, he can’t fill the empty spaces in your heart and soul. He can’t lift your spirits the way God can, and he can’t fill you with joy or peace.

    Boyfriends are fun, husbands are awesome, and relationships can be wonderful! But nothing is as important as your relationship with God.

    When you miss your boyfriend, take a moment to feel lonely and sad…and bow your heart. Focus your heart on God instead of your boyfriend. This will help ease the loneliness and bring you through the sadness – and even the anger – of missing your boyfriend.

  41. When I miss my boyfriend I become angry, and can’t on anything else. I do not like this because it disturbs me at school.

  42. hi I’m 17 me and my boyfriend have a baby together and the baby is at his moms house and he lives with his aunt they are neghibors so he can c our kid anytime and the only time we get to c each oth or talk is in school wich we go to the same school so can u put something up bout what to do when u miss your boyfriend and baby at the same time please it will b greatly appreciated.