Healing Your Heart When You Miss Your Cat

After you lose your beloved companion, you may be surprised at how bad you feel when you think “I miss my cat.” These eight ways to cope with the grief of your cat’s death will help you through your loss. I also share advice from cat owners who understand the sorrow and sadness of losing a beloved pet.

Hope and Healing for Your Heart When You Miss Your Cat

“I miss my cat”

“Grieving the loss of a beloved cat is an extremely personal experience,” says Michelle on for How to Survive the Loss of Your Pet. “Everyone copes differently, every cat owner has a different way to work through the loss and sadness. But one thing stays the same: we all have to find our own method of grieving. Otherwise the pain never heals. I miss my cat dearly and deeply, but I have to let him go. Otherwise I’ll never be happy again.”

When you miss your cat, there isn’t much that can take the pain away. “Grief can’t be shared. Everyone carries it alone, her own burden, her own way,” said Anne Morrow Lindbergh. The sadness you feel when your cat dies can’t be shared and is yours alone. But, it can help to read about how other people coped with the death of their cats. Below are five ways to cope when you miss your cat more than you can imagine.

These tips may not take away the pain of missing your cat, but at least they’ll help you see you’re not alone. Sometimes just knowing your pain has been shared can help you heal.

8 Ways to Cope When You Miss Your Cat

Surrounding yourself with people who understand what it’s like to grieve the loss of a cat is one of the most important things you can do. If you feel alone – and if you are alone because you isolate yourself – then you may take longer to heal.

Reach out to others. Talk about how difficult it is to deal with the death of your cat. Find people who understand, who can genuinely relate to your pain.

1. Share memories of your beloved furry feline

“As a child, we were encouraged to talk about the pet and remember him or her,” says cat lover Pam Vetter. “Pets are family members and have important roles in our lives. Whenever a frog, lizard, parakeet or guinea pig has died in our house over the last 14 years since my kids were born, we’ve held a mini-funeral in the backyard.  We bury the pet, put a rock marker on top, and share our memories about the pet. The time together serves to recognize the pet’s role in our lives.  My kids are encouraged to share their memories about our lost pets.”

Don’t bury your pain or try to hide how much you miss your cat. Even just telling someone “I miss my cat” can help you through the grieving process. Sadly, you have to feel the pain before you can heal.

2. Give yourself time to heal after your cat dies

“Healing takes place over time, and there is no single formula to saying good-bye when your cat dies,” says Dan, whose 12 year old cat disappeared without a trace.

Hope and Healing for Your Heart When You Miss Your Cat“The loss of a cat is the loss of someone you loved, and when anything you loved is abruptly taken away from you, there is no substitute. Four years ago, my cat Peep disappeared without a trace. I live in an exclusive suburb of Los Angeles in the hills. It’s often you have wild life and predators roaming at night. I was sick with some dental problem and when I came home from pharmacy at 9 pm, I couldn’t locate both my cats…one of then came home and the other didn’t.”

Cry as much as you need to. Weeping – letting your heart melt in sorrow – is the only way to deal with a loss so great. Try to spend time outdoors in the fresh air, away from the invasive noise of people. Allow the pure music of nature to fill your ears, the smells of forest and soil and grass to fill your nose. It will do your soul good.

3. Learn different ways to grieve the pain of missing your cat

Robert Neimeyer, a professor of psychology at the University of Memphis in Tennessee, says grief is more than simply a ­series of emotional stages. Grieving a loss isn’t just about going through the stages of grief – and healing isn’t just about letting time pass.

“We do have a great deal of agency in how we embrace our suffering, and the sense we make of it,” says Neimeyer, author of Techniques of Grief Therapy: Creative Practices for Counseling the Bereaved. He has published 30 books on grief and counselling therapy and has a clinical practice.

It is often new purpose – not time – that can be most beneficial to a grieving heart. Newer grief therapy helps grieving people understand the lessons of their loss and places a premium on their capacity to find a new normal, new meaning and “construct a kind of resilience even in the storm of ­bereavement.” With regard to the pain of losing your cat, this means finding a new normal to help you deal with the loss you feel.

“Our work is all about understanding grieving as a process of trying to reconstruct a world of meaning that has been challenged by loss,” says Dr Neimeyer. “What happened, and why and what are its implications for our lives, while also looking at the life we shared with our loved one and carrying it forward in ways we can in their physical absence. Time heals remarkably few wounds of grief because it’s not what time does for the bereaved person; it’s much more a question of what the bereaved person does with that time that matters.

4. Give yourself time to grieve your cat’s death – and find purpose in your life

After I lost my cat, all I could think was “I miss my cat.”

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I miss my catBut I learned that as tempting as it was to focus on how much I missed her, it was creating more pain and suffering in the long run. Focusing on my grief and pain was actually making things worse. It’s important to do the work of grieving your loss – and your cat’s death really is a huge loss! – but not allowing yourself to get swallowed up in the black night of the soul.

There is a difference between healthy grieving and unhealthy dwelling on the pain of loss. Grief takes time and energy – so you will find yourself more tired than usual. Unhealthy dwelling on your loss will suffocate you and prevent healing. So, give yourself time to grieve…but gently distract yourself from the long-term suffering that dwelling on a cat’s death can bring. Make an effort to remember joyful memories of your cat’s life. Keep busy. Find activities, places, and people who sooth your soul and quiet your mind. Learn ways to gently encourage yourself to come alive when you feel dead inside.

5. Consider rescuing an abandoned kitten or cat

“I had my multi-coloured white and ginger cat, Penny, for eight wonderful years,” says Cynthia Colby. “Her death was sudden. She seemed to be losing weight to a point until she appeared too thin, so I took her in to the vet’s and got the bad news. They suggested an operation, but the next day I got a call during the surgery that she might not make it. I rushed in, and she died in my arms. In my case, whether or not to get another cat was already solved in a way, as I had just rescued a small black kitten. I missed my cat so much, but I found it helpful to foster the new kitten for the local Cat Adoption Team. The month before, I had decided to adopt her myself. After Penny died, I called her my ‘Little Gift from God’.”

Rescuing a cat who needs a home may be one of the best ways to cope when you miss your cat. Fostering or adopting an abandoned animal may give you a sense of purpose, and may help you look beyond the pain of your present grief.

6. Imagine your cat being held by an angel

When Your Cat Dies Ways to Cope With GriefThe Willow Tree – Angel Holding a Cat With Affection is a beautiful symbolic way to remember your beloved cat. I always find it comforting to think of the cats I lost as being in Heaven, resting in peace, their souls intertwined with the angels’ and my other lost loved ones.

Think of your kitty being held in the arms of an angel; feel the peace and love and acceptance that comes with the thought of your cat resting comfortably. It doesn’t matter if it’s true or if you can prove the existence of Heaven.

Now is not the time to debate whether cats have souls…now is the time to comfort yourself with the image of your cat being held in the arms of an angel. This will help you get through the dark days, when all you can think is “I miss my cat.”

7. Welcome another cat into your home – when you’re ready

“Last January we had to have our beloved cat, Janvier, put down,” says cat lover Jessica. “He was suffering from renal failure, and the treatment would have crushed his spirit and terrified him, so we made the hardest decision of our lives. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss having my first baby around. It’s pathetic, but we haven’t even gotten rid of his kitty litter (it’s clean!) or his leftover food.

I still think I can hear him puttering around at night. We have two young children and insanely busy lives, so we haven’t adopted a new cat yet. We feel like we wouldn’t be able to give him or her enough attention at this time, which would just not be fair. I really believe that having a new kitten would help us survive our cat’s death. I also think that bringing a new pet into our lives would help us honor Janvier, by constantly reminding us of the cute and funny things he used to do. So I hope that one day soon-ish, we’ll open our homes to a new pet both to help heal our hearts and so our children know the joy a cat can bring to a home.”

“There is something about the presence of a cat that seems to take the bite out of being alone.” ~ Louis J. Camuti. If you’re thinking about opening your heart and home to another cat, read Should You Get a Cat After Your Cat’s Death?

8. Let your cat go – and heal your heart

Kitty Comfort Coping With Cat LossI wrote Kitty Comforts: Help and Hope for Coping With the Loss of Your Cat for you – my fellow cat lovers. Saying goodbye and letting go of my beloved animals is one of the most painful parts of my life, and in this ebook I share what helped me heal.

Give yourself time and space to say farewell to your cat. Grieve the way you need, and allow your heart to heal in its own time. You may be ready to open your home and heart to welcome a new cat…and your spirits will be lifted when you accept the companionship of others.

Life without your pet is a sad adjustment of heart and home. Whether your loss was a planned or accidental, you’re grieving the end of a season of your life…and you’ll never be the same.

How are you feeling? Your stories and thoughts about grief and your cat’s death are welcome below. It’s good to write about your experience – not only does writing help you heal, it also shows other sad cat owners that they’re not alone.

Blessings, with sympathies,



Your thoughts are welcome below! I don't give advice, but you can get free relationship help from marriage coach Mort Fertel.

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839 thoughts on “Healing Your Heart When You Miss Your Cat

  • ML Stewart

    Last Sunday Winston was fine in the morning, has breakfast, cuddled on the couch, and then went off to do his thing in my apartment. He was an indoor only cat. Hours later I began to make lunch and he didn’t come out to the kitchen. I looked for him, called him and he didn’t come. Later when he did appear he wasn’t putting any weight on his left hind leg and it hurt when II touched it. My regular vet wasn’t available so I made as comfortable in one room as possible until I could take him in the next day.
    We drove to the vet the next morning, he sitting in a tote box curiously looking at the senery going by. I didn’t want him gettin gupset or nervous so I’d stroke his head, talk to him and occassionally replace the cover. At the vet’s office he looked around scared and in the exam room he didn’t want to be on the table. The tech took vitals and injected him with pain relievers and a sedative so they could take xrays. I expected some torn ligiments, at worst a dislocated hip, from an ill timed leap to or from a counter.
    The vet came back looking sober and said it was bad news. Winston had a broken leg and it was caused by cancer. We talked over all the options. There were no good outcomes. At 12 his surgery risks were high. The cancer could come back in as little as six months or at best we’d have two years but it would come back. Knowing his personality and not wanting him to suffer I made the decision to send him on his way to the next realm where all cats live long and healthy lives.
    I sat and craddled his sedated self for awhile and held him through the final moments. I knew my heart was breaking but amputating a leg, chemo and radiation to keep him alive would have been a selfish choice on my part. I stayed with him until his ears and paws were chilled. Stroking the softest of fur, crying, and telling him again how much I loved him. Finally I tucked his paws and tail close to him and wrapped his still body in the towel. I said my last good bye.
    My heart breaks anew every day. My apartment is empty. I packed away his dishes, not every to be used by another. Winston is being cremated and will come home in a few weeks. I’ll shop for an urn. A small part of his ashes will be blown into a glass sized marble so that each time I see it I can think of him chashing comets in his new life. A street urchin that became my best friend and favorite cat now resides with the gods. I was so blessed to have been owned by him.

  • Clarence

    The illness of my handsome black cat, Polonius Monk, and my subsequent poor judgment of nearly every aspect of the chain of events that lead to his euthanasia have left me with a crushing weight of guilt, and self-loathing, along with the vacuum of pain I feel from his absence.

    Losing him at such an unthinkable age, and in such an alarmingly quick onset is bad enough. But realizing too late that leaving him at the vet would crush his spirit is inexcusable behavior on my part. Not to mention the further emotional damage done to him by the procedures that were intended to revive his kidney function, which I try hard to not think about, and describing in writing would surely result in more of my uncontrollable sobbing.

    He had been vomiting the night before, and my regular vet was closed on Sunday. After a blood test, I was told that he needed IV fluids to try to lower his BUN and creatinine levels. My initial reaction was, “I can’t leave him”. And in hindsight, that would have been the correct decision. But then, somehow, I changed my mind, and left him.

    When I think about what it must have been like to be suddenly moved from his warm, quiet, familiar, and comfortable home, to a cold, foreign, bright, harsh room, locked in a cage, it makes me quake with panic and cry. My mind aches with bewilderment at how I came to that terrible decision.

    For over eight years I had lived with him, professed to love him, strived to care for him, and placed above all his comfort and happiness, only to betray his trust and brake my promise to him to keep him safe, which turned on a moment of second guessing what I knew in my heart to be the right decision for both of us. In that desperate feeling of loneliness I felt, that first time that I had laid down to sleep without him, haunts me every time I think about it, and particularly when I try to sleep now.

    After leaving him for two nights, his condition worsened with respiratory complications from the fluids they were giving him, and I brought him home for one last night, because I didn’t want him to die alone in that cage. The next morning, Valentine’s Day, I drove him to my regular vet and held him in my arms as he was released from his suffering.

    I have experienced the grief of losing a cat and would eventually heal from that. But I cannot seek a rationale, nor do I want to find a way to justify my actions, saying that leaving him seemed a reasonable price to pay for having him healthy. Only forgiveness directly from Polonius Monk would begin to counteract the emotional turmoil I feel, and that isn’t going to happen. Even if he could somehow forgive me, I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t. And I can’t forgive myself.

    I believe the most proper action would have been to have brought him back home, call my regular vet the next day, and tell them the results of the blood test (which is an indication of renal disease), and try to make my dear friend, Polonius Monk, as comfortable as possible at home, until it was time for that final ride. The indication is that he would have probably died soon anyway, and the trauma of the procedures, and the uncomfortable surroundings, being alone, did not help his technical chances for survival.

    I would have much preferred those final three days with Monk without treatment, than 2 days without him, and both of us suffering needlessly, before reaching the same ultimate outcome. I can’t see my self ever having another cat. But if I ever did, I would not place my selfish desire to make him healthy, over his comfort and dignity.

  • john councilman

    I lost my Zoey about a week ago, best companion ever, I found Zoey on the side of the road in southwestern Ohio, during the winter of 08’ she had been abandoned, she was frozen, sick, starved, & pregnant. I took her home with me to Kentucky, where I got her to a vet, he told me, ‘she’s pretty sick, but if she survives, boy, are you gonna have a cat. He was 100% right, Zoey was never more than an arms reach away when I was at home, greeted me at the door every day, knew the sound of my truck. When I found Zoey she weighed about three pounds, when I dropped her off to be cremated last week she was five pounds, Zoey had her check up a week before she died, the vet found one flea on her, so when I got home I cleaned house, anyway last Monday morning I gave Zoey a pat on the head, told her I loved her, & said I’ll see you later baby girl. I got home from work, Zoey was on my side of the bed near my pillow, stretched out like she was reaching for me, Zoey & I we’re together for 10 years. Toughest thing I’ve ever gone through, called the vet, they told me to bring her in, I wrapped Zoey in her favorite blanket & drove to the vet, I paid the extra, to have her individually cremated, I’m having a really hard time without her, I’m 67, still working 50+ hours a week, never married, I’m a Vietnam Vet, with no family. i’ve made up my mind to get a shelter kitty to adopt, can’t stand coming home to an empty house, I gotta get another kitty. Jack C.

  • Laura

    I lost my cat my beloved cat Felix on Feb 10th he had just turned a year old On January 20 I had to put him down due to severe complications I raised Felix literally since birth his mom is a two year old long hair cat that still lives with me Felix was the nicest sweetest cat in the Of all time he never had a mean bone in his body he was very different an unique from any pet I’ve ever had he had this thing I called the forever petting because once u start petting him it never ends he never got tired of it he was the only cat I let sleep with me because our bond was so special now that he is gone I cry ever morning an ever time I feed the other cats because that’s when he would put his paw up on the bottom cabinet looking at me waiting for me to open the can of food I have other cats but they are not like him I miss him so much hours before I brought him to be put down I held his sick lifeless body an cried so hard I’m still crying even now never knew how much this would effect me but it truly has I have pictures an videos of him from the time he was an new born an every time I watch them I cry my eyes out I just miss him so much

    • Marwa

      I know and feel your pain, my cat Mimi died on 11th of feb i really didn’t know this would be soooo painful, i have no words i jjust want to see her and hug her like i used to do, i’m also still crying till now, she is just 7 months old. I feel i’m losing my mind because of her, i keep searching for her hair on wherever she used to sit, staring in every single place she played in, i cant take the image of her looking at me in my eyes out of my mind. It’s really hard , so depressed and sad. She was very playful and hyper very lovely freindly she had amazing character i’ll never forget her i really miss her badly

  • Deidre

    I got my cat when i was 6 years old. He was my first pet and i was so excited to take him home. We got him as a kitten from my grandmas house – she always has wild cats running around because she lives out in the country and she is terrified of mice. Anyway, he was a black cat and i appropriatly named him Blackie. It was love at first sight. He was my cat and i was his human. I was the only person he would cuddle with, he would play with and he felt most comfortable with.
    I had (and still do) have a baby blanket. Years ago it had little tassels on it, and every morning before school started, Blackie would come in and lay on top of me and the blanket and suckle on the tassels as if he could get milk from it. He did that for probably 2 years straight.
    Anyway, the years went on. I finally graduated high school and started my freshman year of college. I lived in the dorms but made friends and we had plans to move into a house together. The first thing i checked was to see if they allowed pets, and my landlord approved of me moving Blackie in too.
    A few weeks went by and i called my mom to let her know i was planning on moving Blackie to college with me, and that’s when she told me he had a stroke.
    The next time i went home…my heart just broke. He wasn’t my kitty. He couldn’t hold his head up, his fur was coming off in clumps when i would pet him, he would get angry and bite if you got too close, and i just knew in my heart he wasn’t happy here. The next weekend we scheduled for him to be put down.
    I desperately wanted to be there. I wanted to be in the room with him. To say goodbye…but i had to work.
    So instead i drove 2 hours home the night before and spent time cuddling and holding him, telling him that i was sorry and i would love him forever and that i would see him soon enough.
    The next day my mom texted me at 10am that he was gone. I work as a dance coach and at the time i had to be strong and not breakdown in front of my kids.

    It’s almost been 1 year since God called my sweet kitty back. Most days it doesn’t bother me and i don’t really think about him. But sometimes i just sit up at night and miss him terribly. I’ve tried to adopt other cats but they’re not the same. Other times i feel crazy becuase I’ll absolutely bawl my eyes out over him. If Heaven wasn’t so far away and i could speak to him now i would just tell him how much i love him and that i miss him so much. I hope wherever he is, he’s happy, safe and if i could let him live forever, i would.

  • Donovan Jacoby

    Eye doctor I appreciate your time I had a 14 year old Maine Coon since 2004 I got him , and shots at a year old.everything but the aids vaccine,my cat knew was a he:-) but back in October around Halloween ish my cat was trying to get in the window through the blind and I didn’t want him wrecking my blind so I tried to pull him out from between the blinds and he was really fighting me so I won that battle and then he went back and again and I grabbed him again not really hard though just hard enough to let him know who is boss and and then I realized that he was getting caught up in the blind so I said it’s okay okay and I I just got them out real gentle and then he hit on me because I had good went out for 5 hours to Goodwill came back and I couldn’t find him anywhere I call my mama crying thinking someone that stole them the whole reason why I didn’t want him in the window he was absolutely beautiful but after I get off the phone with my mom where he’d be under the sink in the kitchen but I noticed that he was getting thinner when I found him, he just looked at me like what I’m trying to sleep then it look like I woke him up so he could have been in much pain if you was sleeping but I would say after a couple of weeks to a month afterwards I noticed that he started to open mouth breathe because December 9th I went out and I got in my humidifier when I should have got a vaporizer because I brought him to the vet and they want an astronomical amount of money to help him so I decided to bring him home instead because she was talking about possible euthanization I thought and blame myself maybe I hurt him pulling him out between the blind. but I followed him everywhere for about a month with a humidifier when I probably should have got a vaporizer to help him breathe. But he was eating and drinking and eating treats up to the day he died hours before just this weird thing was going on with his stomach I noticed I was going to bring them to another vet but I didn’t have a car only had a moped and ironically on Christmas Eve I cut my thumb so bad I thought I was going to need stitches and I had some surgical tape and I taped it up real quick because I couldn’t afford stitches so I couldn’t ride him on my scooter even talk to my jacket to the vet if I wanted to which I did but it was freezing out I’m in New England it’s like 4 degrees below zero Legend me and a cat on a scooter. after 10 years my roommate decided to just give me a week and a half notice and leave and that’s the last memories my cat will ever have because he got to know her 10 years she had moved out and he was listening to every sound of the hallway hoping she would come back say goodbye which broke my heart I would look under the bed where he was hiding and I would see death in his eyes and feel powerless because here’s my best friend dying and I have no way of getting him help I really thought he was getting better because he would come out and he would eat and he would drink but I noticed that he had fluid in his lungs cuz I start come on his mouth both days 2 days before he passed it didn’t help though I tried to lay down with him on the loveseat and he laid down on the pillow next to me and I had to reach over and turn the humidifier and I think it’s squished him a little bit because 3 hours later he was dead in the night before you crawled into my lap and collapsed but I was so uncomfortable because I’m 6ft and it was a love seat I was on so I scooted out from underneath him slowly they left them on the loveseat alone and would have my own bed because I have been up with him for days following him around humidifier and laying down next to where he was, and sleeping next to him. letting him know that I was there for him do you think it was just something that was pre existing in the breed like a while ago started happening always indoor cat.thanks

  • ian

    Thanks. My cat passed on the other morning. He was born here to. My wife and daughter loved as much as I did. Bert was his name. We were blessed to have him for thirteen years. Some people say cats are not effectionate but they are.
    We have been crying on and off for a few days now but it helps to talk about him he was a huge character in our lives a little person very friendly.
    Being a man I felt silly for crying but after reading some of your paragraphs I feel it’s quite normal. I’m now giving all my affection to my other two cats but they are not berth. He was one special little boy.

  • MT

    I am reading all the posts, and I am glad I found this site. I just lost my lovely 15 year old tabby, Russ, on January 23, 2018. He had been diagnosed with an aggressive cancer tumour in his mouth back in November, 2017. I had him at home up until the 23rd, but I knew it was his time – I saw it in his eyes. Up until then, I held him and sang to him his favourite son, “ Moon River”, and told him about crossing the Rainbow Bridge. Russ was my first and only pet as an adult, and I am deeply hurting and missing him so much. He will never be replaced and no other cat could ever be Russ. I am hoping to heal and then someday find another, but grieving is what I need. I brought his body home, but because it’s winter, will not bury him. I thought of cremation, because my husband and I are only renting a house – and I will not bury him here. He had a big cage build by my husband a few years ago, that kept him safe with chicken wire. That’s where his body is in a closed container – frozen. There is such a deep ache for his physical precense and I think I’ll have a hard time even having him cremated. Does anyone else feel awful about this? Not having your cat physically? Am I the only one feeling like I don’t want to give his body away. I know I can’t keep him and I want him at rest, it’s just so hard letting his body go. Does anyone have any ideas, or does this feeling just go away …maybe it’s because I just lost him 3 days ago. I feel fine that his resting in his cage where he loved to be – especially at night in the summer where he was safe. Thanks and I hope we can all see our feline babies again one day.

    • Thais

      Hi MT, sorry about Russ. I just just lost my little Videl, 6 month old kitten I found abandoned by her mother alongside her sibling, Vlad.
      What we did was keep her little collar, as well as her favourite toy. She fell from a tiny air vent we never imagined she could even reach from the 7th floor and well… I’m having a hard time not blaming myself but well… accidents do happen.
      Did Russ have a favourite toy? Perhaps a favourite blanket? It can help a lot to build a little shrine. Their photo + their toy and some incense to burn and help soothe feelings. You could even build the little shrine in his chicken cage, I’m sure he would have liked that.

    • Vanessa

      Hi, I had to euthanize my 13 year old cat on Feb 2. I had known since November that the end was near but I wanted so much to stay in denial. He was my baby and I miss him so much. I feel for you as my cat’s body is in a freezer as well, though at the vets. I won’t be able to bury him until at least April as I am in Canada and the ground is frozen and the snow is deep. In 2015 i had to euthanize a cat and it was all so sudden that I had her cremated but didn’t get her ashes as the vet said I’d have to keep her in a freezer till the ground thawed out (it was early April). I regret that now as I want something of her near me and I know the cat I just lost would want to be buried next to her as they were best buds. Anyway, my sympathies to you, I know how horrible this feeling is. I have one car left to take care of and she is 15. Take care everyone. Don’t let anyone tell you your grief over a cat doesn’t matter.

  • Anna

    My cat Minnie died yesterday morning when I was sleeping.. My mother found her dead next to our house.. Minnie was a 10 year old, happy cat. She loved me and I loved her. I’ve buried her with my own hands and cried all the way through that moment and I am still crying. I see all the places she used to sit and lay on and now they feel so empty.. It tears me apart that I won’t see her anymore because she was more like a friend to me, that I could always go to, without having that feeling of bothering her.. And there was something else that made her so special for me and that was that I owned three generations of her family, like her grandma and her brothers, her mother and then her.. So her bloodline stops with her I suppose.. She made me happy and proud and I will never forget her and hopefully I will move on soon from her death.
    Rest in Peace my baby girl..

    PS: I’m glad that I found this blog, it helps me out alot, to read about how other people are dealing with their cat’s loss. Sorry if I have some grammar issues in my text, but english isn’t my first language..

    Have a nice day!


  • Laura

    It is comforting knowing there are other people out there experiencing the excruciating grief of losing their best buddy. I lost Noodle on January 13. She was about 17, She adopted me and they did not know exactly her age at the shelter. She was with me for 12 years through my entire adult life. Through thick and thin, countless moves, horrible boyfriends, many jobs, broken relationships, financial struggles, meeting my life partner, my first child… EVERYTHING. She slept with me every night, greeted me when I got home and was always so full of love for me and I for her. We shared my snacks. We played a silly game who could whack who’s hand/paw first and she often won. She communicated with me through different types of meows and her “looks”. I swear we had a psychic connection. She was ALWAYS there and ALWAYS loved me when I needed her. More than any human in my life. I’m not sure how I will heal from the loss but I guess it happens? I threw up 7 times the day she died just from sheer grief. I found her dead at the bottom of the stairs. I could tell from her position that she had just died. Her body gave up. She had a proper burial in our back yard and I planted a dwarf juniper bush over her. It reminded me of her. My hope is that one day soon I will feel peace about this instead of just pain. I love her so much.

    • R

      I feel you. My 16 year old childhood cat died just before Christmas.. She was sick and suffering, and she had a good, long life. But nonetheless I can’t help but to continue to feel awful. I’m not enjoying things that I normally would. I also can’t help but think of how I could have appreciated her more and treated her better while she was still here. I know that these are futile/wrong things, yet it’s hard not to think that way.

    • julie zuckerman

      Dear Laura,
      I know it’s been a month since you lost your baby, and I know how deeply sad you must still feel. I lost my Hammie Cake, my 13 year old,
      stuck in my armpit most of the time, boy, 6 weeks ago. He is so deeply ‘imprinted’ everywhere…..he is everywhere and nowhere. I’ve been through it several times before, but I think, I know, I (fortunately) don’t remember clearly just how agonizing the pain is of such loss.
      I hope for you and for myself and others who suffer loss of their special kitty loves, to soon be able to adopt a needy, or abandoned or shelter baby as there are millions without homes. I’m so sorry you have lost Noodle.
      With the Affection of someone who understands……

  • Geraldine Nolan

    Sadly my beautiful cat of nearly 15 years, Tiddles was pure joy.
    I worked from home for most of her time with me so spent every day with her…and her life intertwined with mine. She was ill for a few months last year and I nursed her through all of it.
    The vet’s attitude was that she was too old to be ‘helped’.
    She had many happy days, even up to her last day with me on 20th December last year. I had already realised that she was not going to be with me for much longer but nothing prepared me for her eventual passing.
    Tiddles was my first pet and my first ever experience of unconditional love….something I didn’t even get from my mother. I have no family, so my cat was my family.
    Tiddles was great fun . I offered her a taste of most things I ate including olives and tomatoes, which she loved. If I went shopping I would think of Tiddles and what we could share…maybe some prawns? Tiddles learnt all kinds of words and would come when called just for the love of it.
    When she was a kitten we played a game of fetch for hours. This involved me throwing her stuffed mouse down the stairs and her bringing it back to me! Like a puppy! I felt so much love from her. I never even went on holiday in 14 years because I didn’t want her to go to a cat home… Nothing was a sacrifice…I was proud of the life I gave to Tiddles.
    Because Tiddles died at home I was able to have a ‘funeral’ and bury her under a lovely Holly tree. The practical side of preparing Tiddles and organising everything was pretty easy. But the next day I was a mess. I began drinking too much, not eating….sleeping long hours…waking at 6am and getting up….but for what?
    It’s been 3 weeks. I still have ‘bad’ days. I only realised today that there’s an instinctive part of me that ‘feels’ Tiddles is in another room. It’s gut wrenchingly painful when I realise she’s not here anymore. I even say it out loud…”She’s gone…she’s gone…and she’s never coming back”. It doesn’t really help. But I’m trying everything to help me come to terms with the enormous change Tiddles’ passing has brought to my life.
    It seems like a dream…her being with me. And with every day that passes I am torn between weeping and feeling like I’m moving on.
    Everyone keeps saying get another kitten…..Maybe I will. But for now I’m struggling with the loss of Tiddles. I miss everything about her but mostly I miss my expression of love. It’s so ‘quiet’ in my home with just me…..unbearable silence.
    Thank you for giving me the space to share my feelings.

  • Jade

    My best friend Roo has been unwell for most of 2017 pulling her fur out, seemingly unhappy – Id taken her to several vets as no one had an answer – shed had blood tests & Id changed her to an allergy cat food. Before Christmas she became very unwell & was scratching and biting herself to a point she was covered in blood. Another visit to the vet said she was stressed, prescribed some medications which did nothing. Poor Roo got worse, she would just lay in my arms, then took to hiding in a box of tools in the garage. I finally found a reputable vet who told me that Roo was actually suffering from a severe allergic reaction to something uncontrollable in the environment – dust, grass, pollen etc. It would take months to diagnose & create a possible vaccine she couldn’t guarantee that Roo would get better & nothing could fix her immediate pain. As she had suffered enough it was decided it was time for her to go to sleep. She passed away peacefully cuddled in my arms. She was with me for 12 years, but no amount of time would ever be long enough. I feel so lonely she slept with me and followed me to every room in the house. My only comfort is that Roo is not suffering.

  • Kelly Zhou

    My cat, Mimi, just died today, after we made the painful decision of putting her to sleep. She was just 10 years old. It was just last week when she was not eating or drinking, and she could not litter. She would always meow this raspy meow and was also very weak. Today we finally decided to take her to the vet, who, after checking her, said that she has cancer and it is untreatable. We either had to put her to sleep or let her die on her own. She was suffering, as she could not eat or sleep, so we thought the more humane way would be to end her suffering. This is very heartbreaking for me because she was such a good, and friendly cat, I am not sure how I could live without her.

  • Alison

    Hello I lost my daisy on this January 4-2018 due to kidney failure plus heart problems but her body was shutibg down due to her kidney fail so she died at home with us around her I had her 16 years as of January 1 2018 she was a fighter she was so sweet and liovesble I cry all the time after reading things on line I feel a lot better I can sence she is still here I have to try to b happy so she can rest cause daisy New when I was crying and upset so I’m better just got to be happy for her but I have a outside homeless kitty I think I’m gone take n and give a home like I did daisy I will try to love again but daisy will always b in my heart for ever

  • Bobby

    My cat, Mr. Chesterton was an absolutely fantastic cat, who purred and always desired to sit with my wife and I on a nightly basis. He was such a sweet cat, and I can’t imagine a nicer cat exists. A little over a month ago, he developed a bump on his head. I monitored it, and thought it was getting smaller. But it got bigger, and it was affecting his eye. He also did not seem to be eating as much. I took him to the vet and they took a sample of his bump. I heard a nurse say from the back that he had a dinosaur head, and she was kind of right. The doctor thought it was an abscess at first, and that it would pop when he inserted the needle, but it was definitely a tumor of some kind. Yesterday, on January 2nd, the doctor called and told me that not only was it cancer, but that it was a highly aggressive lymphoma that manifested in a place in his body the doctor saw only twice before in his practice, and the options were rather limited. He had stopped eating and drinking, and really moving around a whole lot. My wife and I made the decision that had to be made, and he was put to sleep yesterday. I started crying the night before when I knew this was a real possibility, and I stayed with him, petting him and telling him how much I loved him. I continued to do that, and I wanted to be there for him and I wanted him to hear my voice as he died. And I stayed in the room for a good while, petting my poor lifeless cat and telling how much I loved him. He died at eight years old, and he could have lived another ten years. I was walking around Lowe’s today buying something, and I found myself talking to him, saying “I love you, Mr. Chesterton.” I am just beginning to process his death, and I am still rather incredulous that it happened at all. All I know is that dreams are usually not this painful. I just do not know what to do next as I try to recover from this devastating event in my life. If you believe in prayer, please pray for me.

    • Erin Jonsson

      I lost my sweet baby girl of 12 years today. I am a total wreck. I feel your pain and am sending you so much love. The bonds we have with our animal kids is just beyond beautiful. I am deeply sorry for your loss and I am praying for you right now. Heart broken in California

    • Martha


      oh Bobby bless your heart, I so feel for you, I lost my cat Oreo Dec 2, 2017. I don’t have children or a spouse and no other animal now, Oreo was my first pet and I grew up around dogs so I had no idea what I was getting into with a cat but he was so sweet and precious. I can’t imagine life without him, I have so much guilt because I am not smart on the medical stuff and he was diagnose with kidney disease May 2016 and then Oct 2017 he had pancreatitis and then we couldn’t get it under control – he had diareah everywhere on the night of the Las Vegas shooting, then they said it was stomach cancer and my poor baby I had no idea his raspy purr meant he felt bad nor did I understand the weird noise sounds he was making – I have a hearing impairment and I kept calling people to see what the sound was or meant, I didn’t no if it was a purr or him in pain…………..I hate the idea of putting animals to sleep but I couldn’t let him suffer – he didn’t have a quality of life so I had to put him down 6 days before my b-day Dec 2017 – I feel like a lost puppy and my house is completely empty and had to work from home today without him for the first time since he died and it was soooooo hard I cried all day while trying to work – it was bad weather so I couldn’t drive in to the office. I am praying for you Bobby – bless your heart. I could use a miracle and I know you could too. I want to save all the animals in this world. I don’t understand how people can be so mean to animals.

    • Karen Bond

      I think I will never get over this pain, it’s been five days since I had to put Garfield, my eight year old orange tabby, down. He was my best buddy and my furry love bug that laid on my lap and looked up at me with those big beautiful eyes. He got me through some hard times. I miss being able to put my face in his soft fur, his cuddles and how silly he could be. I had no clue he had somehow gotten pneumonia, he had no signs, and had just been to the vet the week before for something totally different, they didn’t see anything either, how can that happen, but he got really lethargic on Sunday so I took him to the 24 hour emergency vet, he was there two nights on antibiotics and oxygen, with no signs of recovery I knew I had to let him go. I still blame myself, I adopted him a year ago and was given his little life to care for. I cry everyday, how could this have happened, no no no, my heart has been broken. I also held him in my arms as he went to sleep, petting him and telling him how much I loved him. I stayed in a room for awhile holding him, it was so hard to let go of his warm body.
      I talk to him as I cry, sometimes angry at him that he didn’t give me a sign until it was too late. This has truly been a devastating event in my life also Bobby, I’m so sorry for your loss, I suffer with you.

  • Deb

    We lost our almost 12 year old Cat, Spooky, on December 31st 2017. She was our first family pet. My daughter is almost 13, so she grew up with Spooks her whole life. Cats have this stereotype of not being as cuddly as dogs. We have 3 other cats, which would fit into this stereotype. But Spooks was different. She literally came to bed with us. On her own! She would curl up right in with us. Whether it be me, my hubby, my daughter or sons. She was the most cuddly cat I have ever known. But over the years, she became afraid of the other cats. She had lived with the others her whole life. ( Ages are 9,8 and 7). She also had pain in her backside, you could tell, whenever you tried to pick her up, she would growl. You knew something was wrong. Her walk became worse. She was on medication the past few months, but it didn’t seem to be working. So we made a family decision to let her go. All 5 of our family went with her. To hold and kiss her at the end. It was the most heartbreaking thing I have ever been through. And to see my children go through it, broke my already broken heart. I feel empty without my Spooks. I miss her so much. Yes, we have 3 others. But it’s not the same. I keep telling myself she’s finally at peace. We are weird, lol, so we paid to have her ashes with us. We got her paw print taken. I’m hoping once I have that at home, it’ll help knowing she’s still with us, in a way where she’s no longer in any pain. Where she’s not completely terrified to be here. I loved her, and will continue to love and miss her everyday. 🐈❤️

  • Stephanie Tracey

    My Chloe was only 1 year and 4 months old, she passed away today. She started acting sick yesterday but no vets we’re open. I took her in first thing this morning. She was okay but very week. The vet office was really busy and by the time they saw her she had worsened quickly. The vet came out to tell me she started seizing and crashing and they were doing cpr. Then she revived and crashed again. My poor baby didn’t make it. This was so sudden and completely unexpected. She was such a wonderful cat and companion. We had a special bond that I have never had with any other animal. She was so smart. I swear she would meow and it would sound like “hello?” When I would walk in the door after work. She would purr constantly and insisted on licking and grooming me, it was adorable. I miss her so much my heart just hurts. I’ve never really had to deal with grief in life before, with animals or people, and I’m not sure how I will overcome this! Seeing her stuff in the house is painful, and I keep thinking I hear her, or expect her to come into the bedroom to cuddle any second now. This is so painful and difficult.

  • Janet

    Gotup, don’t feel guilty. My mother lost both her son and her cat this year. I honestly think she sometimes misses the cat more. Lots of grief there.

  • Gotupl8

    I never thought I would feel so empty. It’s hard to say this, but my grief is worse than when a person close to me has passed.. is it because my beautiful Sammey cat spent more time with me than any person ever has? Is it because he knew everything about me? The absolute honesty of who I really am? Does any one thing know us in this way? Only my Sammey and anyone else with a pet knows this..no matter who we are they love us. Not just love but hard love. The kind that will never be replaced, bought, bribed etc. Real as we will ever know. Now the days are strange without him. I don’t know what time it is because he isn’t there to tell me it’s time to eat! How do I walk through my house and pretend everything is ok? Or walk in my yard without him tagging behind me talking a mile a minute? His personality was huge- he made me smile Every Single Day! He was such a good boy. The details of him passing unexpectedly and unnecessarily conjures up guilt so strongly I feel like I’m going to pass out. In reality, it was no ones fault. The Vet at the emergency room was only trying to help. Who knew that pill would sit there and eventually have his throat close up? I did everything I could to help him. I torture myself with guilt- even though I know it isn’t my fault. It’s part of the “grieving process”. He trusted me, he loved me and accepted me for who I really am. He never judged me and if he did, he never told me! Well, maybe when I took to long to get him dinner.. he was judge mental about that I guess. Not having that sammey cat around anymore is monumental. Daily rituals, his chirping noises, his beautiful eyes, his snuggles under my chin, his polite waiting by the door to go outside, his demanding yell to come in! I know everyone here is feeling it. I found a lot of help from reading other people’s experiences. I’m not alone in this wave of emotional turbulence that seems to drown me at the weirdest moments. Forget about holding back the tears when the wave crashes over me! It’s on. After spending everyday with him for over ten years, there is so much more to remember. That cat taught me so much about life and what is really important. He insisted I stop whatever was so important at the time and live in the now by holding him close. He always did need to be held close. This is super hard but I know it gets easier. I have decided that it’s probably pretty normal to feel so much pain and emptiness now that he is gone. How could I not feel this way? He knew me intimately, he loved me continuously, he didn’t care if I was socially awkward, didn’t notice my weight gain, never once complained when I was broke, never once said “ I told you so” even when I was wrong . Anyone reading this know what I am talking about. I send everyone strong love who is experiencing a loss of a beloved family member pet. These animals do not have to learn to love us- they are born that way the minute they enter this world. Maybe that is the reason they don’t live that long. The price we pay to love them and for them to live us.

    • Geraldine Nolan

      I totally feel your pin. I too have no family r spouse or kids so my cat was my entire family. I thought I was pepared for her passing but I had no idea of the depth of pain I would feel….and am still feeling, I worked from home too for years so she was always by my side….we shared our lives. She would sneak into my bed especially in the colder months and I would laugh silently at the sight of us both under the covers with our heads on our pillows. She was my everything.
      Even writing this brings tears to my eyes. Its 3 weeks since I buried Tiddles….or as I think of it…she left my home for good. Life has to go on regardless….but I’m so fragile I worry about seeing neighbours etc who don’t know Tiddles has gone. The one thing that keeps me going is the fact we would not feel such grief if we had not felt such love. That’s the price we pay. Our pets don’t need to forgive us….their love is unconditional and they know when they are loved. Cats especially have a 6th sense.So they know …without words. Your cat knew how much they were loved by you…and had a great life. I believe their souls are forever with us and will help and guide us with the same sweet love they gave us when they were in our arms. Stay strong. Remember how much you were loved too.

  • Gaya

    I lost my 11 month old cat almost 3 weeks ago. I still can’t seem to get over it. He was a rescue and we weren’t even planning to get a cat. I was quite lonely and down after a miscarriage and he just seemed to float into our lives. Suddenly things weren’t so bad. I work from home and there he was, playing on my desk, sitting on the keyboard or stealing my chair if I vacated it for a second. He was in our bed, sneaking under the blankets when it was cold, sitting on either husband or me early hours of the morning purring like a tractor. He loved playing with a fake fur toy and balled up aluminium foil. He never learnt to say meow, it was always “meeee”. He spent the days with me, following me around, playing or sleeping on the side of my desk. My husband says that he cried when I was away, looking through the house for me. When I got pregnant again, he stayed with me while I was sick for 5 months. When I was on bed rest for threatened miscarriage, he stayed by my side. He even brought his little fur toy upstairs to the bedroom to play with me. I’d never have gotten through that period without him.

    On that fateful day he was acting all strange. While he was a cuddly and affectionate cat, he rarely let us hold him for very long. This day he let me carry him around and cuddle him for as long as I wanted. In the evening, he sat in a place he has never sat at, watching me and husband intently. It was spooky in a way, it was as if he was studying us. But we put it down to the closed windows and doors and him trying to get one of us to let him out. Shortly after, I went up to bed and he came up with me as usual. He lay down by my feet and seemed to fall asleep instantly. Usually I coax him to use his bed which is just at the foot of ours. This time I let him stay and stroked him for a while. it looked like he was really sleepy (or pretending to be asleep). I too fell asleep. When I woke up a few hours after, he was no longer on the bed. I went downstairs and husband said he managed to get outside. I wasn’t too concerned because he’d done that before. But then he didn’t return when I called. He didn’t return the next morning either. We started searching around the house but nothing. I walked all over the neighborhood calling his name and shaking a bag of his favorite treats. In the evening husband drove around looking for him. He found him by the side of a road, near a pedestrian crossing. He had been hit by a vehicle, my poor baby. I had walked that road earlier, but hadn’t seen him. We brought him home and buried him in the back yard. I miss him so much. I feel cheated. I was looking forward to introducing him to his baby brother next month, celebrating his first birthday, and at least enjoying a few more years of his company. The whole house reminds me of him. Even after 3 weeks, his fur is still around. I made a photo album with pictures we and friends had of him. It helps a little. But most of the time it feels like a part of my very soul is missing.

  • Susan White

    Our 21 year old cat Richie went out of the front door without us noticing on 19th November, we have not seen him since. He was old and frail, with a touch of dementia and arthritis in his back legs and he was deaf. All that said, otherwise he was very healthy. He had a monthly visit to the vet where he was loved for his gentle acceptance of anything that had to be done. The vet thought Richie was amazing for his age. We spoiled him so much – he had little packs of fresh chicken to eat, took over half the sofa on his cushion, had his own bench outside for sunbathing in summer. On the 19th, our daughter was loading the car outside and Richie must have gone out, he certainly could not climb the six foot wall at the back of the house. We searched the streets, left both back and front doors open all night, sat up to wait in hope. But nothing. In his younger days he had got out a couple of times and returned in the early hours, but not this time. We leafleted hundreds of houses in nearby streets, we put up posters in local shops and businesses, a missing cat advert was put in the local newspaper, we reported Richie’s loss on social media and on missing animal sites, and walked for miles looking for him. There have been suspected sightings, but none successful. Every day just seems to get worse, I cannot seem to accept this at all. I miss him so terribly. I see him everywhere, hear the cat flap, I can’t bear to walk past the pet food in the supermarket. He was my sweet baby and I just love him so much. Christmas feels pointless, I’m just going through the motions. To have had to take him to the vet for that last visit would have been awful, but what I was expecting to do, not this. Not knowing what has happened, thinking of him dying cold and alone is breaking me every day.

    • julie zuckerman

      Dearest Susan….
      I am so very sorry about your loss of your sweet Richie. I know it has been a bit, but these things just well up and grab us by the throat
      for a very long time. To lose a baby kitty (even at 21yrs, yes, Richie was your baby) and not know what happened is especially torturous.
      I’ve been there. Kitties, when they are unwell, are masters at hiding. Our Sissy Baby also was 21 y.o. when she went out and did not return. Richie may have had a stroke, or a stopped heart. I think that about Sissy since we never found her…..I think she went where she
      wanted to be, well hidden, to pass away. That was 15 yrs ago. I just recently lost Hammie Cake, my precious boy of 13 yrs. I had to have
      him euthanized (vicious lymphoma of sm bowel.) I love him and miss him so much I’m still in tears every day after 6 weeks. I know what you mean about seeing Richie everywhere. My baby Cakes is everywhere and nowhere.

      I’ll hope for calm for your heart and your soul,

  • Laurie Post author

    I’m so sorry for your loss. There are no words to heal the emptiness and sadness of a cat who is gone. Our cats leave a hole in our hearts and homes, a space nothing can fill.
    May you find peace and healing, comfort and warmth as you grieve your loss. Give yourself time, let yourself weep. Go through the pain, and you will come to the other side. Know that your cat isn’t feeling any pain or suffering, and that your spirits are forever intertwined.
    You’re in my prayers, for comfort and peace.

  • Kathy

    On Tuesday Dec 5 morning I got up to start my usual work day routine. Turn on the computer to warm up, turn on the coffee and feed my cat fur babies Vito and Sabrina. But something was not right. Sabrina the little 5 lb Siamese was not on my heels jumping up on the counter for breakfast, pacing back and forth and talking and as if she had not eaten in days. I fed Vito but knew something was wrong. I called her and searched for her praying that she just got stuck somewhere and couldn’t get down. She was a jumper. But the silence persisted and I had found her lifeless little body on the cold hard concrete basement floor all alone. The cause of her death is so unbelievable and I don’t understand what the hell happened. So I can’t describe it for others to understand. I blame myself over and over for not getting rid of the trash that took her life in a way I can’t understand. I was sick with bronchitis and doped myself in hopes of getting a few hours sleep without the body wracking cough. If only I had not been so sound asleep I could have heard her. I know the death was slow and painful. She had to cry out and I was not there to save her.
    Now when I close my eyes all I see is her motionless little body who suffered a horrible death. When my eyes are open all I can see is her lying in all her favorite places, in all the different size boxes she laid in or on. But she is not there. She was never more than a few feet from me and jumped up the minute I made a move so she could be 2 steps ahead prancing on with her tail standing straight up like she was the proud leader, wherever we were going.
    She laid on the table beside my computer while I worked. And jumped up the second I shut the computer off knowing it was time for dinner and spending the evening together.
    Sometimes I think I hear or see her but then realize she is gone forever. No more talking. No more mad dashes up and down the stairs for no reason in particular l.no more lying on my chest sometimes with her butt in my face.
    I have been sobbing uncontrollably since I found her and can’t find a way to stop.
    I need to be stronger than this for Vito but can’t stop
    I just want her back. She was perfectly healthy and only 11 years old. Our time together was so so short.
    I forget I don’t have to split the can of cat for her and Vito. The sobbing gets harder.
    I have lost fur babies in the past but it was after illness and I got to hold them on my lap and give them kitty morphine for comfort until they fell asleep and did not wake up.
    I have never lost a baby suddenly and totally unexpelije this and it’s killing me inside.

    • Geraldine Nolan

      I’m so sorry for your loss. Cry as much as you need…weep…let hot tears flow. That way I think we can get better….slowly. It’s bereavement and we need to treat it as such. I was loved more by my cat than my only family member…my mother. My heart is broken…but slightly less broken than it was 3 weeks ago when Tiddles passed away at home. Even though I knew she was not going to be with me for long nothing could prepare me. Mentally yes…but I am still struggling like you, with the silence. I tell my friends its ‘beyond silent’. There’s an energy missing from my home, And I miss her smell her warmth, her little heart beat, her soft tummy…her breath that smelt like fresh air….and her beautiful face.

      Some days I think the whole relationship was a dream…..I’m struggling to adjust. I can’t remember what it was like before Tiddles came to my home 14.5 years ago. I feel lost. But I know if I allow myself to grieve how I need with supportive loving friends who understand the significance of my loss, I might be ok. When you live alone with a cat…they ARE family. Like a friend said to me…It’s like losing your partner”. And I agree. Stay strong and know your cat knew how much they were loved. Their 6th sense is what its all about.

  • Thyra

    I had to put my cat Gary to sleep yesterday,it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do! He was 20 years old,and was ferro for many years he became tame with me the last 4 years, I stayed with him till the end I miss him so much, I remember the first time he let me pet him the first time he meyoud, and the first time he purred, I know how hard it is for you, my cat was always there for me he became the most loving cat and I tried to keep him safe from other cats while I had him, oh how I miss him

    • Geraldine Nolan

      I feel your loss…but when I read your post all I could think was how lucky Gary was that you took him in and showed him love. That was the greatest gift you could ever have given him and he knew it. You gave him years of love and security for years, and he knew that. That’s why you were so loved by him. He’ll be in your heart forever. My friend called my cat “a four legged angel”….and I think shes right. Stay strong. When you’re ready you can think about the good times. There will be less pain and tears as time goes by. It’s only cos you loved him so much you hurt so much now. I remember that every time I think of Tiddles who passed away 3 weeks ago. My friends cat died 6 years ago and there are still moments when she cries remembering. Its called love.

  • Sherri

    I lost my little guy Gryffin about 6 weeks ago and I grieve daily and can’t shake the feeling that I can’t get past this. We have no idea how old Gryff was, he just showed up one day on our porch and immediately stole our hearts. He was the only source of lasting comfort to me when I lost my 18 yr old cat soon after he showed up. I always felt he was the angel who was sent to me to help me through that awful time and now he’s gone too. It feels too much to bear. I feel so incomplete without him, not only is my heart broken, but a huge part of my soul feels like it’s missing too. And I feel an incredible guilt about not getting him the right care in time. His illness came on so quickly and despite taking him to multiple vets and specialists over 3 days, no one could figure out what was wrong or treat him effectively. At the last vet’s, his organs started failing and we had to make the horrible and painful decision to let him go peacefully. If I had noticed his illness earlier, I keep thinking there were signs that I missed, perhaps the vets could’ve saved him. It is very difficult to accept he’s gone and deal with the days without him. It feels like the joy has gone out of or lives, we miss our little guy so much.

  • Hayley

    I lost both of my cats recently, my 17 year old boy, Splash, in September, and my cute little 19 year old girl, Alice, just this past weekend. I am 23 years old and have never not had a cat in my house. We had one before these two came into my life but I was very young and barely remember him. I got Alice as a Christmas present when I was 4 years old, and she’s been here every since. She was only a few months younger than my brother. She was always a healthy little thing, never had any noticeable health issues, unlike my other kitty. Part of me thought she would live forever. Then on Saturday she just changed. She was laying down the whole day..but it was different than normal. She just looked different. At night my mom went to really look at her and she knew, she was dying. We wrapped her in a blanket and brought her upstairs to lay between us. She only ever liked myself and my mom. We were hoping she would go peacefully at home. But she started to get a bit agitated, she wanted to move but her body wouldn’t let her anymore. We ended up taking her to the emergency vet at around 10:30pm, thank goodness we have an emergency vet nearby, I couldn’t imagine watching her suffer. Watching her pass was one of the most surreal moments of my life. When I lost Splash, it felt more tragic in a way, he was suffering far more visibly than she was, due to all his health problems, but in a way it was also a relief that he wouldn’t be in so much pain anymore. Losing him was incredibly hard, he was a sweet goof-ball who loved everyone. But losing Alice felt different, it didn’t…and still now two days later, doesn’t feel real. She’s just always been there, in high spirits, begging for her favorite food (chicken), and basking in the sun, and now suddenly with no warning…she’s gone. I’ve been very lucky that both of them lived such long lives, I will never take that for granted. I’ve never had any other pets, so experiencing this sort of loss for the first time…and having them both pass away so close together has been very hard for me. I know I’ll have more cats in my life, perhaps even in a few months we will get another, but I don’t know if I’ll ever love another cat like these two, my childhood/tween/teen/young adult cats. This may be a silly fear but for now it is a very real one. Has anyone else dealt with this fear?

  • MD

    I am so glad I found this. I lost my kitty this past weekend. I’ve had her since she was 4 months old, and she’s been my little buddy. She was only 11, but had been sick with a mystery illness for the last year and a half that made her itch and lick constantly, but also not eat or use the litter and just hide under the bed, barely moving. When she was healthy she was the most social cat, always on my lap, meowing, purring – she would greet me at the door when I came home…over this last year and a half I took her to the vet so many times, steroids helped but as soon as they wore off the symptoms came right back and she would be miserable. She was a bigger cat, 12 lbs Maine Coon mix and would lose 2 pounds in a week from not eating, and seem disoriented and forget where her litter was. Even though I knew it was risky to keep her on steroids, she was just so happy and back to normal on them that it was either that or watch her be miserable (or put her down). The vets would switch them up or try alternative therapy, and check her bloodwork periodically, which always came up normal. I was away this past weekend and had my parents who live nearby come in 2-3 times a day to check on her, feed her etc, but Saturday my mom called me; Whiskey didn’t eat her food that day and she was meowing a lot, seemed to be disoriented. This was how she was sometimes since she’s been sick, especially when she got a hair ball. My mom stayed with her and petted her, and she curled right up in a cardboard box and purred. Everything seemed fine. A few hours later my mom checked on her and she was gone. My mom said she looked very peaceful but I feel so guilty I wasn’t there. She was always in my lap when I was home, or right up in my face if I was laying down, especially these last few months. I have a feeling she knew it was her time soon because she had been extra clingy. Before I left for the weekend I held her in my lap and she gave me cat headbutts, and then went off to eat her crunchy food like no big deal. Even though I knew she was sick and I spent so many hours and weekends lately just laying around reading so she could be on me, I still feel like it wasn’t enough time. It is so hard right now, being home without her in my lap. I can’t believe she is gone and miss her so much.

  • Jan Thompson

    Yesterday I had my cat Murphy put down. He was suffering from renal failure. He was 16 and a huge part of our lives but he also had a wonderful bond with me. I seemed to be his favourite. When I came home he was waiting to greet me at the door. He called out to me in the mornings when he heard me up making coffee each morning. He patiently waited on top of the sofa in the living room for me to come and put him over my shoulder and rub his back as he snuggled into my neck purring. It was our morning ritual and we both looked forward to it. In the evenings when we watched the news he was up on my lap to cuddle …often several times during the evening. Before I went to bed as I passed his spot on the sofa with his special plush blanket he softly called me. I spent a few minutes petting him as he purred loudly as I said goodnight and I always gave him a head rub and kiss before I headed to bed myself. I miss Murphy terribly. I wish he was still here but a part of me knows his quality of life was quickly diminishing and he was so sick. He lost another 2.5 lbs in three weeks and hadn’t eaten in days and was not getting enough fluids even though he seemed like he was drinking all the time. I didn’t want him to suffer so the decision was made. I held him close cradled in my arms as our Vet administered the dose. We looked into each other’s eyes, me reassuring him his mommie was here and how much we loved him. I felt the life leave his frail body and the light in his eyes was gone. I held him and talked quietly to him for a time then wrapped him gently in his favourite blanket, kissed his face and said goodbye sweet boy. This was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

    I find myself holding back tears often and from time to time just having a good sob. I try to imagine him walking through a beautiful garden swatting at moths and butterflies like he loved to do in my garden. I imagine him stretched out on some grass lying in the sun enjoying the warmth. I remember his healthy days and how we enjoyed his company over the years. I am grateful that we took him into our home from a farm litter and gave him a good Happy home and a long life. I’m happy my grandson loved his gentle patient spirit. I know it will take some time to let my sadness go but I look forward to the time I can remember Murphy with no tears only joy we had him in our lives for many years.

    • Naveed Yazdani

      Dear Jan
      I lost my male siamese Bhola on 18th of this November. He was 10 years and 6 months and my love. He slept with me every night and had adopted my routine to the maximum.
      I know when I will be dying he will come to take me with angels. I pray after every Namaz to Allah that he is with me in the Hereafter.
      Don’t grieve. Pray for Murphy. You will be healed.

    • Rick

      i understand the pain you have i just put to sleep my cat “trouble” on saturday she was with us 19 years sounds like murphy and also had a great relationship with her since she was a kitten
      when i was making my morning coffee she would leap to my shoulders to purr in my ear she was the most gentle cat never bit or scratched all black and always looked like a kitten maybe weighing 7 or 8 pounds
      but the past few years i can see her losing her sight and hearing but never her purring and love till finally she just slept a lot i wouldnt let her go outside no more afraid something may attack her then the last month i knew she was fading fast didnt eat for 3 days or drink and then just meow looking at me though she was mostly blind lost a lot more weight and i knew it was time no more purring even with my best efforts i was afraid she was suffering greatly i am sad but i believe that 1 day at the end of time we will meet again

      • fiona

        misty, 18yrs, was dead in her box when my husband came downstairs this morning. she was a very agile outdoor cat, slightly arthritic the past few months. she was not inside first thing yesterday morning, we eventually found her hiding under neighbours car, picked her up, came in to house, she made no noise, and couldnt move properly. phoned the vet who said next appointment was in 1 hour. with hindsight,we should have taken misty there immediately. vet diagnosed a back injury, gave her anti-inflammatory and pain-killer injections and sent us and misty home. why the hell was misty not given a proper diagnosis? surely she should have been x-rayed. i can”t stop crying. she was my life. she”s still at the vet, dreading collecting her tomorrow to take for cremation, but can”t bear thought of burying her in garden. will watch everything to make sure we get misty”s ashes . will miss her always, and will never replace her with another cat. ( she was someones unwanted cat, chucked out of a car, aged 7 months )

    • Thyra

      I had to put my cat Gary to sleep yesterday,it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do! He was 20 years old,and was ferro for many years he became tame with me the last 4 years, I stayed with him till the end I miss him so much, I remember the first time he let me pet him the first time he meyoud, and the first time he purred, I know how hard it is for you

  • Kelly

    I’m amazed to see so many comments from people missing their cats – makes me feel better somehow. I lost my 20 year old cat, Mayuka, this Monday. I had her since she was a kitten, and she was with me through everything – junior high, high school, college, cross-country moves, graduate school. She was a gorgeous, sweet cat and a total mama’s girl. I loved picking her up, lying with her on my bed, playing with her paws. Everyone always commented on how pretty and young-looking she was; at 20 years old she was still running around and playing (although sleeping most of the time, of course!) and super bright-eyed.

    On Saturday she had a stroke and I took her home from the emergency vet that night. On Sunday all she could do was lie on the floor. I was giving her water with a syringe. Monday morning I woke up at 4 in the morning to check on her, and she was clearly suffering horribly. I had her on my chest or on the couch next to me until my vet office opened, then carried her there (no car) wrapped in a blanket I’d crocheted so she would be surrounded by familiar smells. I said goodbye to her and my vet put her to sleep. It was so hard to watch her die, but I’m glad she didn’t suffer long. I took her ashes home on Tuesday and she’s in my bedroom now, which was always her favorite spot.

    I thought I had gotten used to the idea of her leaving, since she was 20, but I miss her horribly. Every time I hear a sound I think it’s her bunny-hopping down the stairs. Seeing the empty spot under my desk where she would lie in her cat bed brings me to tears. The same for her toys, her favorite spot on the couch, pictures of her on my phone, basically everything.

    I miss you, Mayuka. Thanks for being such a good friend.

  • christopher murray

    My cat died last night beside me . I had her for 12 wonderful years here in France. I found her in a forest , a feral kitten. She was so amusing and so intelligent . She hunted all day , every day , her mother had taught her so much. There has never , ever , been another cat like Mimi – it would take too long to describe. Two weeks ago I noted she was loosing weight . The vet said she had enlarged kidneys , a disease or cancer. She would not eat or drink and wasted away. Last night she sat beside me all through the night convulsing . I rushed her to the vet in the morning not realizing she was already dead. She slept in the Summer in the roof of the garage [ a feral cat away from predictors] , I had made a box bed from wine boxes lined with straw. This box and straw became her coffin and buried her under her favorite apple tree. I sometimes called her ‘ daddy’s little Marine’ me being a former Marine [ British] because she was always so brave and uncomplaining. So I awarded her my medal for her coffin. I will never forget her. Thank you for this Laurie it does help.

  • Andrea

    My Charlie went missing exactly 2 weeks ago today. I have searched and searched, talked with neighbors, put out flyers, everything and still nothing. I am devastated. He was neutered, 1yr old Orange cat. He was the best boy. He slept with me every night. I just cry and cry and don’t know what to do. I miss him so much. I live by myself, he was just like my baby, and he made me feel so much love. I feel so empty without him here. I still call and call for him, and pray and pray he’ll come back to me. I just don’t know what else to do. I love him so much. I just don’t understand.

    • samantha

      I’m so sorry Andrea. I had an orange cat named Reuben and he went missing several years ago. I really hope you find him, and I will pray that you do. Don’t give up hope! Losing your baby is the worst thing, especially when you weren’t expecting it and he was only a year old. I really hope you find Charlie or he finds you <3

    • Andrea

      My Charlie went missing exactly 2 weeks ago today. I have searched and searched, talked with neighbors, put out flyers, everything and still nothing. I am devastated. He was neutered, 1yr old Orange cat. He was the best boy. He slept with me every night. I just cry and cry and don’t know what to do. I miss him so much. I live by myself, he was just like my baby, and he made me feel so much love. I feel so empty without him here. I still call and call for him, and pray and pray he’ll come back to me. I just don’t know what else to do. I love him so much. I just don’t understand.

    • Amber

      Our cat Leo went missing on December 6th. No sign of him anywhere. Its devastating. The tears will not stop flowing. I hope your baby comes home. Breaking the news to my daughter has beeen extremely difficult. I feel like my home is empty even though we have others. Every cat holds a special place in our hearts.

      • Carly

        So sorry to hear about your missing cat. We have two missing one over a year and another 15 weeks just vanished we miss them both so much. Fingers crossed they all return but it’s heartbreaking I even went to a pet communicator who believes Max is still alive and Monty might of been hurt as seems very weak it’s heart wrenching I feel sad all the time and just miss them so much. My children keep asking will they ever come home. Really hope all the missing cats return safely and having fun somewhere. Carly x

  • Katie

    I had to put my best friend, my Maine Coon cat Henry he was 18 1/2 years old down on Tuesday 11/7/17 and it was the most heart wrenching and worst decision I have had to make.. He was having trouble breathing and had fluid around his heart and it just came out of now where, it all happened so fast.. the vet came to my home so I could be with him and hold on to him and cherish my last moments with my Henry.. I am getting his ashes back I just need to have him in my home because I can’t live without him… I know he lived an amazing life but I just miss him so much and can’t stop seeing his handsome little face and seeing him around the house especially all his favorite places.. I just want him back to hug and cuddle and live life like we were..

  • Lenore

    Molly my sweet “Maamaa” got cancer in May and had 2 surgeries, a month of chemo and then no treatment for the last few weeks and now she’s gone.The doc said she had 6-9 months to live. She lasted a few days . She died on a big soft pillow. When I got home from work, I found her breathing slightly and just nearly gone. I have now cried and sobbed 6or 8 times in 24 hours. My eyes are puffy and sore. My son and I had to dig a hole in the ground tonight. No one ever said life was going to fair.She deserved a few more years of life. Damn those injection site sarcomas.
    Rest in peace my beautiful sweet loving cute cuddly Maamaa. Love that girl.

  • Emma M

    My beautiful Maine Coon of nearly 14 was put to sleep by the vet hete at our home 2 weeks ago today. She had s heart problem, lost loads of weight, stopped eating and drinking – I had to let her go – it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. We were so close and she slept in my the crook of my arm every night. I had time to prepare myself for her passing on but it was so horrible to have to say goodbye . She does in my arms and I’m trying to be strong. She had a great life but whenever I hear a sound I think it’s her padding about . She went downhill fast – she caught a rabbit in August and was dead by Ictober. It happened fast and I don’t think anything could have been done that she could have coped with. I miss her so much / it’s hard to bare. She meant the world to me and the unconditional love she gave me was so beautiful and we had a great bond. I know I have to be positive but it’s also ok to be sad . I keep seeing her face at the door but I know she’s gone and it was her time but it’s brutal without her. Love to all reading this who are suffering a loss of a dear friend

  • Karen Sandblom

    My indoor only cat got out 3 nights ago and has not returned. I am devastated and cannot stop crying. I asked my son if he was heartbroken and he said not really. He said he just wasn’t going to think about it. That is all I can think of!

    • Pearl Close

      Hi Karen, sorry to hear sbout your cat not returning home.
      It is worrying when a cat does this. Have you tried the neighbours to see if she got in their shed or garage , outhouses.
      She may have lost her bearings a little bit they do have a way of finding their home. Hopefully she will come bounfingbin very soon. It may help you to put some leaflets out with a picture of your cat and your details, asking people to look in their sheds and outbuildings.
      I hope you see her back very soon. Take care.

  • Pearl Close

    I lost my cat Merlin last night. He passed away in his sleep. I stayed up all night with him. I don’t think I could believe he’d gone.
    He was on thyroid treatment from the vet which seemed to be helping and we was going back to the vet for blood tests this coming week.
    We’ve buried Merlin in our garden but I am devastated even knowing it may happen one day.

    I’m reading self help for coping. I miss him and wish I could have him here with me healthy and as usual sat beside me on the sofa.

    • Catherine

      We had to put our beloved 12 year old Biscuit down two weeks ago and it seems to be getter harder by the day. My 22 year old daughter is also very sad. Never felt this bad for any other past pets. Love them all though.

      • Pearl Close

        Hi Catherine. So sorry you lost your beloved Biscuit. They bring such joy and happiness into our lives. It’s so hard to part from them.
        I have had several cats over my lifetime and given them the love and looking after they needed and deserved, in turn they gave us unconditional love,
        For this I am truly grateful that I have been part of their lives. Though it breaks my heart I know in time I will Look back on the special times shared.

  • Ellen

    Yesterday I lost my 14 year old red persian cat Poema. He’s been in my life as long as I can remember.(I’m 18) He was suffering from failing kidneys and other problems (from being old). I feel like I can’t go on anymore, he meant the world to me. The house is so empty now and everywhere I look I see things that remind me of him. He was the cutest, sweetest cat ever. He would never fight with other cats and he liked being with me all the time. I loved him so so much, he was like a sibling I never had. He went peacefully and was with my parents when he died, but I wasn’t there and I really regret not having been there with him. But I also probably wouldn’t have been able to handle his death right in front of me. He is in heaven with his sister now, who died 7 years ago from cancer. I have never been in a house without cats, we used to have 4 persian cats. My life will never be the same. I will remember and love him forever, and I hope that he’s in a good/better place now. “To love” means to let go.

  • Samuel Stines

    I recently lost my best friend I don’t even know how to describe the feeling I felt what I lost my Isis she was my best friend in the world she was there for me through a really really hard part of my life 11 years to be exact. There was a period of time I was very alone and she brought me so much love, loyalty like I’ve never seen and I could swear I understood her words. Our souls were definitely intertwined. She constantly was in my dreams while she was still alive. She died so suddenly everything seemed so fine she was strong and climbing and playing never showed any signs of pain then one day she collapsed and couldn’t walk and all of a sudden she was blind out of nowhere what do a couple seizures I held her in my arms as she went, it was so a shock to my system I still hear her and I look for her still and catch my self. there is nothing that can prepare you for the pain of losing such a friend that literally is so loyal they know nothing else but the love of their owner I’ll miss her forever. Rest In Paradise my best friend. I recently adopted a new little girl from a shelter her name is Pasch and it does help ease the pain and my other love Osiris doesn’t have to be alone cats have fun together.

  • Miriam Sulaiman

    My 1 year old Siamese/Persian mix died today of kidney failure she was the sweetest cat I’ve ever had she would sit next to me whenever possible she would just stare at me with nothing but love in her eyes she would give me little kisses with her eyes (opening and closing her eyes slowly while looking at me ) and I would give them back she was so well behaved never did anything wrong in her life little Coco was so quiet she was a little angel if only I noticed the signs of kidney failure but I had no idea until it was too late I feel as though I have failed her 😖 I hope she forgives me and little Coco will be the first one I ask for in heaven or maybe she will be waiting for me ❤️💔
    Her life was short and sweet as was she

    • Trisha Gray

      I am so very sorry for your loss. I just lost my 7 7 year old Seal Point Siamese Boy, Dexter to kidney failure on October 22 & my heart is shattered. I don’t know if I can ever mend the pieces of my heart, but in honor of him, I must try. Like your little one, my boy was sweet, living and sent from heaven! I am not going to offer suggestions on how to cope or heal, but will say from how you described you bond, that I get the sense that you little one knew how much they were loved and you did the best you could do given your situation at the time. Remember, we are mere humans with our flaws & shortcomings. The beautiful this about our fur baby bonds is that they love us inspite of our imperfections. Please try to forgive yourself as I believe you little one already has. Take Good Care, Trisha ❣️

      • Donovan

        Simon, my Tonkinese who was just about to turn 15 and whom I adopted when he was six months old, died early this morning from his chronic kidney condition. The hard thing is that he died at an animal hospital quite a distance from me in the suburbs of my city, because the vet whose office is two-and-a-half blocks from my home closed his office for a week completely in order to go out of town. Simon had become so dehydrated by Friday afternoon that I knew it was essential that he get a subcutaneous fluid injection immediately, and that’s why I brought him to that hospital, where he had been seen last year for another problem. I could not make it out there when the vet called me a little past 10:30 last night to say that his condition had worsened (I don’t drive and it was my nephew who had taken me out there with Simon that morning). The upshot of all this is that I missed the opportunity to be there with him when he died, and consequently the opportunity to just let the tears flow in the company of sympathetic people. I seem incapable of crying at home all alone. Perhaps that’s because I am a guy.

        I am really feeling the initial stages of grief. I live alone, don’t have many friends or a spouse or partner and Simon was indeed my most constant companion for fourteen-and-a-half years. I work from home and it will be hard not knowing that he is not in the next room relaxing to movies and music on YouTube while I am hammering away. Simon, I love you, your warmth and intelligence; I know I took you for granted and only now do I realize that you were my everything. I had always imagined that I would be there with you during your final moments touching you and telling you that I am with you. My, we were a team. You anchored me in the present keeping me from getting angry or depressed about things that happened in the past. I love you, Buddy. Now I have just had something of that cry that I missed this morning.

    • christopher murray

      Don’t you dare for one moment feel guilty . My cat just died [ above ] of kidney failure , there are no ‘signs’ , they just stop eating and by then it is already too late no matter what some will tell you.Be thankful you gave it a good life and have peace.

  • vicky

    I had to have my gorgeous handsome tabby Maffery put to sleep 3 weeks ago it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do ,he had flu last year and I nursed him through that I was surprised he survived he was so ill, as he was semi feral he hated strangers but loved me he followed me everywhere just like a dog he was a great big cat and very muscly and so healthy for I think 15 as he turned up on my path at I estimate 2 years of age ,he slept in the summer house in a comfy bed and lots of blankets I even put a carpet in there for him as he would only venture into the kitchen now and again ,he adored his garden and I always left him nice places to sleep in the sun ,but he got an ulcer in his eye and needed it removing and would have been unable to be an outside cat any longer as he was always fighting other cats so would have been at a disadvantage and he had infection in his ears and mouth ,he was terrified at the vets shedding fur everywhere so I thought the stress would be too much ,so I let him go ,big big mistake now I feel I made the wrong decision ,I feel like I murdered him and stole his last few years ,my heart is broken I can’t eat ,sleep and can’t stop crying I am sooooo guilty ,I loved my friend dearly and miss him so much ,my lovely maffery moo ,i’m so sorry if I could turn back the clock I would bring you back home after the operation ,people have said I would have been selfish to do that but the way I feel losing him I want to be selfish ,wait for me in heaven and I will give you a great big hug when I arrive ,love you maffles xxx

  • Fiona Craig

    My beloved cat Mr Man died in my arms yesterday evening. He was 15 and had Lymphoma. He would never have coped with the madness of back and forwards to the vet and pills and chemo,so i opted for palliative care. He lasted 5 weeks after his diagnosis. My vet came to him at home to spare him the trauma of the catbox and car,and i held him while she gave him the injection. He was very relaxed and it was very peaceful. I think he just wanted to go.I have not been able to stop crying,he was my rescued little boy and adored his mum. I got him and his ‘sister’ when he was a year old and don’t know how i will manage without that beautiful face and bundle of fur in the crook of my arm every night. My other kitties know he has gone, and were on the bed with me last night,but there is a hole in my heart…..

  • Fred

    My black Sampson died today. He was 18. He was very strong willed ( in a good way) and was one mighty cat. He loved catnip and hunting lizards in the backyard. He loved to eat until one day weeks ago he stopped eating. I gave him chicken broth and he got better fior a few weeks. Today he didnt want food so i just held him. He pooped in my lap but that was ok. I thought it ment he was getting better . He was very sluggish and couldnt clean himself so i cleaned his bottom. He layed on the couch for a few minutes then he lifted his head up like he was looking at someone. His eyes looked so bright and green. After about 1 second he dropped his head down and he was dead. I am so sad. I cant believe he’s gone. “I wanna talk to Sampson!” — from the movie half baked…he was like sampson from that movie cos he would boss around my pitbull and my chow chow dog and he was the catnip king ,i miss sampson, he lived w/ me in college, He used to party with me and my friends there. I had so many friends then and they all knew Sampson. He was the funkdapuss. Miss you catman…. ps. I 1st thought he was a girl so i named him Delilah but then the vet showed me he was a boy and said i should call him Sampson. He was all black and part Siamese. Miss you boy.

    • Trisha Gray

      I’m very sorry for the loss of your Boy Sampson. I lost my Seal Point Siamese Boy Dexter on October 22 as well due to Kidney failure. I know the pain is unbearable and how you miss your boy beyond belief. My thought are with you at this time and we must take comfort in knowing that both our boys are at peace and no longer in any discomfort or pain
      Take Good Care, Trisha ❣️

  • Zach H

    It’s been years since my cat died, at least 4 or 5. Yet, today I saw a scar on my chest, one he left me when we were both young and new to each other. Now I can’t stop crying. I miss you, Buddy. I wish you hadn’t been out that night. I wish you had come back home. I wish I could have said goodbye. I will forever cherish and remember you by the scar you left me.

  • Angela

    I am so sad and empty since Saturday when my two year old orange tabby Ollie was hit by a car and died. He leaves behind his buddy Oskar a bengel cross and we are both weeping every night together. I am living with the regrets and the guilt and the what ifs? I always called his name and he came running I never went to sleep till he was safe inside. He was such a happy and vocal cat and I and Oskar miss him dearly. I feel I failed to protect and I am angry his life was cut short. I don’t know if I will ever forgive myself. I love you Ollie and miss you 😘

  • Anjos

    If I knew it was the last day with my female Cat i would have changed everything … I can t forgive myself. My cat was my best friend.Had terminal cancer. I worked all day 09-23-2017, when I left work and came home she was breathing fast … I called the doctor who accompanied her and I said what I can do to help my cat? She replied that there was nothing else to do, I had to give her a cortisone injection that night … After calling the doctor, I brushed my cat and she got some sun … though I called a lady who was known to talk about the situation I stayed with her on the phone 50 minutes !!!!! My cat got up from the bed . I hung up the phone and tried to help my cat, I gave the water with a syringe but began to “scream” of pain … I called the doctor again and she told her to take her to the doctor’s office to put her to sleep. Now I regret … there was nothing else to do ??? Why did I spend 50 minutes on the phone with someone I’ve only seen a few times? Why did not I give those 50 minutes to my cat who was the most special in my life? Why did not I hug her while she was in pain? I do not understand …. I’m not getting peace of mind and this guilt I feel My God its destroyed me…. it’s horrible. If I knew that it was the last moments with her, I would do everything differently and our last day was tragic …More than fourteen years together and now I feel lonely and my life will not be the same …. I can not cope with these feelings …. Forgive me my love …love you now and forever love my love …

  • Katie

    I just lost my cat Molly last Sunday night she slept with me in the bed which she often did when cold or just wanted to lay with me the next morning she started showing signs of having crystallized stones(blood in urine,peeing outside the litter box) which she’s had before along with her temperature dropping but this time when I took her to the vet he decided to keep her overnight she was there for the next two days they ran tests which showed almost everything was shutting down so I made the hard decision to have her put to sleep so I went see her for one last time but she had already passed five minutes before I got there. She was my world!!😭I can’t get over the idea that she was alone or without me for those two days (was she scared or confused)and I also did not get to see her before her passing. Does anyone have any suggestions to help me cope?
    Thanks katie

    • Maria

      Dear Katie, I am so sorry for your loss ,my heart breaks for you..My cat also died alone at the vet’s. I saw her on Saturday there and the vet is closed for visits on Sunday, so I couldn’t see her.My vet tried to contact me on Sunday,to tell me she was worse but she had the wrong number and couldn’t find me.So my kitty passed alone without me and this hurts me so much…I blame myself for not calling the vet.
      You did the best you could for Molly, you took her to the vet’s so they could care for her. How could you have known what would happen?
      Your kitty knew you loved her and that you did everything to save her.
      I am so sorry for your pain, I know how it hurts.

  • Matt

    My cats name was Miss Kitty and my grandma got her for me when i was eight years old. I’m seventeen now and i loved that cat so much. We had to put her down this morning. I didn’t want to but i didn’t want her to struggle anymore. She was weak and couldn’t even lift her head. I cried so much my eyes hurt. It’s very strange being on this earth without my beloved friend and i miss her so much. I know she went peacefully and i just keep trying to remind myself that.

  • Kate

    I am so sad… I lost my 7yr old cat 2 months ago… no word of him. I look and look. The lost cat sites make me sadder still. The same week I then had to have my 18yr old cat put to sleep. I held him in my arms…I can barely think about the two at the same time… it’s crushing. Overwhelming. I feel I failed Puff and I think over and over how He might be suffering or suffered… this is awful…..

  • Ashley

    My heart and soul ache this weekend. As all of you might know I’m a total die hard cat lover and the worst thing that I could ever imagine happening to me became a reality and nightmare Friday September 22, 2017. My son and I were running late to take him to school Friday morning and he told me “Little” our cat was outside. Mind you, I usually never leave him out overnight but the night before he didn’t want to come in so I let him be on his favorite rocking chair outside. Well, I didn’t know he was underneath the car and I accidentally ran over the love of my life cat. Once I realized what I had done I got out of the car and banged on the door for my husband to come outside to help me all while trying to keep Jonah away from seeing “Lit” suffer and die. I wanted to rush him to the emergency room but he died in my husband’s arms. I thank God he was home and not working because I wouldn’t have been able to manage the situation on my own. They always say God doesn’t give you more than you can handle and not having my husband there to help me would have been extremely worse on me mentally and emotionally. I got Little as a baby right before my son was born so he’s been like a brother to him. I talk to my cats every single day and these were some of my favorite phrases to tell him: “you’re the cutest cat on the planet Lit”, you’re such a beauty Lit”, “where’ve you been all my life,” “you’re so orange Lit,” “don’t die on me Lit”. The images of him suffering will forever stay etched in my brain and I don’t know when and if I will ever forgive myself for what I did and causing pain to my family, especially my son. Little would sleep with him at night and when my son gets home from school he’s the first thing he looks for. I’m trying to cope as best as I can for my son but it’s been very very hard for me. Luckily I had one of my best friends here to console me because she’s a die hard animal lover too and was able to relate to my pain. The lessons that we’ve learned out of this is that we need to stop and take our time. Another one of my worst fears is to run a person over and all I can think of is that maybe this was a warning for me to always watch out because kids walk past our driveway daily to get to the bus and it could have very well been a person I killed. Little will not die in vein though because my son and I are going to make sure we get up earlier and are not rushing out the door anymore. We were able to take Little to a local Animal Hospital where they were absolutely loving to him. They were able to wash him up and wrap him up in a blanket for us to say our last goodbyes. He will be cremated and kept in an urn here at home and his paw print will be made into an ornament too. I plan on having a ceremony once we get him back and we already put holy water around the house and outside where he passed. My heart will forever have a void in it! Rest In Peace old friend, you will forever be in my heart and soul. Till we meet again one day!

  • Bianca

    Oh Alli this is so sad to read I’m so sorry I just don’t what to say other than he knew what it was to be loved. My joey still missing – now nearly 6 weeks I’m starting to come to the reality that he’s not coming back home, ever. I fear he has died somewhere alone and in pain and I hate the thought of never finding him. So sorry about bugsy may he rest in peace xxx

    • Maria

      Bianca I am so sorry…it is terrible not to know what happened to him, my heart hurts for you. I wish I could offer you some comfort. I know I can’t take your pain away, but your kitty had all your love and he knew it.

  • Alli Bone

    My beloved Bugsy had been missing for over 2 months now. We had just moved into a new house and he was very skittish. We were putting out the trash and he suddenly ran out the back door and just hopped over the fence. We searched and searched, put up fliers, left out food and litter, called for him and left his cat tree on the porch. Nothing came of it all. We eventually had to move on and continue our lives while still checking shelter websites and refreshing fliers.

    Our neighbor just found his deceased in his shed today and I am utterly heart broken. To think that he suffered or starved or froze in the recent snow storms we have been having is devastating. I feel so badly that he was just across the street and we couldn’t find him. We even looked in their shed when he first went missing and couldn’t find him. I thought he might be gone but there was still that hope that he would turn up one day. Now that is gone and I am left with my heart in pieces. He has a blood brother Niko that we can tell us sad he is gone as well.

    I just don’t even know how to be here knowing my baby is gone. He was a momma’s cat. Slept on my chest in the morning, woke me up with that incessant meow when he was ready for food, was so playful and full of life. I just can’t get past feeeling like I let him down, like I should have looked harder. After all he was suffering alone right across the street. I keep this king about us living our lives while he quietly stopped breathing. It is so painful and fresh I can’t stop crying. I know it will pass and get better but right now it feels impossible.

    I miss my Bugsy, my baby, my light. Nothing will ever be the same without him. This I have known for months now but the pain of knowing he is truely gone from this earth is excruciating. I have asked my Gramie in heaven to hold him close and I hope his pain and suffering and fear is long gone.

    Thanks for reading, I just thought it might help me to share me pain.

    • Maria

      Alli,I am so sorry for your pain and your loss. I know how it feels. I understand how your thoughts torment you, All this is so tragic, my heart goes out to you. Please try to think of your baby now safe and healthy on rainbow bridge. You didn’t let him down, you tried as hard as anyone could to find him. He knew how much you loved him, please don’t beat yourself up. I know the pain is excruciating, I’m going through this too. I pray you find peace as time goes by. Big Hug xxxx

  • Maggie

    My mom, and I, lost our beautiful baby boy Arthur yesterday. A little bit ago he was not eating nor drinking, but my mom‘s friend said that it was just a phase, and it would not last long. She said “just give him a few days.” ,and so I did. I regret it more than anything. He started drinking, and only licking a little bit of his food. I thought he was going to be ok, but then he stopped drinking, and eating altogether. my grandma took him to the vet. The doctors were so worried when she called. Apparently he was incredibly dehydrated. They gave him some medication and lots of water. I’m not sure if it was an allergic reaction to the medication, or if it was all just down the wrong pipe, but he died from fluid it to the lungs. The doctor did everything he could. In all honesty I could not except the fact that he was gone now. My life has no purpose and I don’t know what to do. this article helped but without him I don’t have a purpose. Everything seems so meaningless. I have no more energy, and I am not eating. My mom says that it was a sign, because about a month or two before Arther had died ,we found a cat in are back yard, she came right up to us, and we decided to take her in until we could find her owners. Months of trying went by, and no one has claimed the cat or like to to adopt her. The strange thing is last year ,on August 14 (the day before my first day of school) we had found Arthur under a barn. He was just a baby, and had one brother, and a sister there mom was nowhere in sight. We found homes for his brother ,and sister but we could not part with Arthur. We miss him more than anything, and I hope that are stray kitty we had just so recently found, can help us cope with the loss of our beloved cat Arthur.

  • Heidi

    We lost our beautiful boy Naboo only yesterday. He was very quickly taken by fluid in the lungs, most likely caused by a heart issue (he had been bitten by a cat aND we were trea ting an abscess but this was strangely coincidental). He began to seem unwell at about 11am and by 5.30pm we were called into the vets to say goodbye. Today is really hard. All his usual spots are empty, and so is a big part of me. We were a family of 3 for 9 years and now he is gone, and I feel truly broken. I am trying to focus on our great memories of him. Like how on a couple of occasions he came home proud as punch with somebodies sausage from the bbq, meowing to call our attention to his successful hunt. We were always grateful he was a terrible hunter of live prey, and only really had success with processed meats. He was a big clumsy softy with the sweetest meow. And is so greatly missed.

    • Lisa

      Heidi, I feel for you. We had to put down our dear Phoenix unexpectedly last Thursday oct. 5th (same thing, fluid in lungs turned out to be a mass on her heart that had started to bleed). My husband and I do not have children, we have cats. Losing Phoenix was a huge blow, kick in the stomach. I’m doing the same trying to remember sweet and happy times (instead of the limp little sedated kitty we last saw). We have to be thankful they didn’t suffer too long and remember how loved they were. My husband keeps telling me she would not want to see us sad, which is true. So keep thinking of the good times and memories that you’ll cherish forever.

  • Maria9

    . At the end of August I noticed that one of my cats wasn’t eating, just licking her food.I took her to my vet,who examined her and so no evidence of illness. She told me it was probably because of the heat, summer is very hot here in Greece. I didn’t press my vet for blood tests, and I regret this too.i took my kitty home relieved that she was ok. My vet would be leaving for vacation in 3 days.My cat continued not eating but I didn’t take her in again, thinking she’s ok.I regret this too.My vet left. my kitty still wouldn’t eat She was just drinking water. I tried so hard to convince myself it was because of the heat.Many days passed.My cat was getting thinner but i kept telling myself she’s ok,she’s ok. If my vet had been there I would have taken her in but I felt paralyzed, helpless, as if there were no other vets around.I truly didn’t know how dangerous it is for a cat not to eat for so many days, I googled it afterwards and I was horrified.Why didn’t i google it earlier? By the time I realized something was wrong she looked really sick I found a vet clinlc and I took her there.They examined her and they told me she had feline fip, which is a fatal disease and they could do nothing for her. I was shocked and mortified by guilt and shame, though I learned later that fip cannot be either cured nor prevented.They gave me some medications to try at home.They told me she had only a few days.I refused to believe it. I took my kitty home and tried every medication available, every kind of food available to make her eat.I never left her side day or night, giving her all my love.For a while she seemed to be getting better and my hope revived. But then she got worse.
    Thankfully my vet returned and took her in for drips and fluid-draining.Her liver was getting worse because of the virus but I was still hoping for a miracle.I visited her mornings and afternoons at the vets, i didn’t want her to feel all alone there. She became a little better and I took her home again to be with us.Then I took to the vet’s again for more fluid-draining and drips. I couldn’t admit she was dying, I kept hoping and praying. She wasn’t in pain, so I tried to prolong her life
    My kitty lost her life one night while at the vet’s. It’s been almost a month now.The pain is overwhelming, but so is the guilt.i know I didn’t cause her sickness or death, but I feel I neglected her and I betrayed her by ignoring her symptoms for so many days.I could have made her last weeks so much comfortable and I didn’t. And I loved her so much. Why did I act this way? Before this,I never failed to provide immediate care for her or my other pets. It’s true that the months before my kitty’s sickness my dad was sick and it took us a while to find a specialist who could tell us what was wrong with him. Was I avoiding to go through all this again ? This is not an excuse, pets depend on us for their very life. I cannot forgive myself for failing my kitty. I feel no one here has ever done such a monstrous callous thing.I cannot live with myself, I constantly tormented by guilty thoughts, along with my enormous grief.

    • Bianca

      Maria9 you did not do anything monstrous- you cared for her darling- as you said yourself she was too ill to save it was unfortunately inevitable- nothing you could do. I have guilt About not keeping my cats in at night – my first cat was killed by a car after 13 years of us living in the same street so I should have known and learnt my lesson but I didn’t and now my poor Alfie cat was killed by a car 5 days ago and I cannot but feel it is my fault plus my other cat has been gone over 3 weeks now. My partner keeps telling me to stop blaming myself it was not my fault but I feel guilty all the time. You obviously have a deep love for cats as I do and all the others on this thread I hope you come to some peace with this soon Maria9 big hugs you Bianca x

      • Maria9

        Bianca, my heart goes out to you…All these losses of your kitties, and your mother too….This is all too much. I wish I could say something to ease your pain, I know how much it hurts. But your partner is right, please don’t blame yourself. You loved your kitties dearly and wanted only the best for them, as we all do. We are not superhuman, we cannot predict the future or control everything that happens. And how can you keep a cat indoors when he doesn’t want to,without making him miserable? Please don’t torment yourself, you could not have known what would happen. And this goes your missing kitty ,too ,I am so sorry. But you didn’t cause this either, by stressing him or anything else. I pray that he returns soon,safe and sound. I know the sadness is too much already, don’t add guilt to it.
        Thank you for your support and understanding.
        Big Hug from here too xxx

    • Lisa

      Maria, please do not beat yourself up. However I do understand your guilt. I have the same guilt over my beloved Tigger who I lost 7 years ago. My husband thought maybe since we were doing so much traveling that it would be nice for Tigger to have another cat at home. So we went through the process of searching rescues/shelter for the cat we thought we be a good fit for him. Well we found her. Her name was Phoenix. We brought her home and the introduction was long and stressful, Tigger did not take to her. And 5 weeks later he threw a blood clot died, Oct. 6, 2010. I was convinced I killed Tigger. I probably wouldn’t have gotten another cat immediately but at this point we already had the new girly, Phoenix, who needed care (rescue with a few issues). So we carried on and raised Phoenix. Who became such a blessing to us. She died almost exactly 7 years to the date Tigger passed, she died 2 days ago Oct. 5, 2017. My husband and noticed her breathing seemed more pronounced and she wasn’t sleeping too good. We took her in and they saw fluid in her lungs. They said it could be one of three things, one of which they mentioned was fip. It was not fip, but when the doctor came back into the room she said Phoenix had a mass on her heart that had started to bleed and there was nothing they could do. We had to put her down that day. We go through the same questioning…should I have noticed sooner? In fact I didn’t notice, it was my husband, so I wonder how long would it have taken ME to notice?!?!? My husband is right, he tells me my Phoenix would not want me to distressed. And your kitty would not want you to be distressed and beating yourself up. If I recall from conversations with my vet, FIP is not something that you can prevent. It is like any other awful disease, it just happens. There is nothing you could have done to make the outcome different. Your precious kitty would not want you to feel this way. She was loved and she knows that and loves you for it. May you find peace in the coming days and months and remember all the wonderful love you gave your kitty and she gave you.

      • Maria9

        Lisa, thank you for sharing your story and for your understanding.I am so sorry for your Tigger and your Phoenix ..But please don’t beat up yourself either. You are not to blame that your kitties got sick. I understand your guilt too, about not noticing Phoenix’s symptoms, but these signs are sometimes too subtle to notice.They are not like vomiting or diarrhea. And sometimes when we are under stress or have a lot of things on our mind we cannot notice. Lisa, we are not perfect ,we’re only human and we are always doing the best we can. Your kitties knew this too and they knew how much you loved them. They wouldn’t want you to feel bad about yourself either. Think of the wonderful life you gave them ,of all those moments of love. Thank you again for support. May you find peace too. Hugs xxx

  • Carly

    We feel devastated our cat max disappeared last October and we did everything it’s as though he just vanished then 7 weeks ago today our cat Monty just vanished nothing it’s breaking my heart not knowing what’s happened to them I have three children who ask when the cats are coming home. I have been to a pet communicator who says Monty died quickly and Max is still alive but don’t know what to think or do. I have two cats still at home and just worry about them now. Why would our cats go off when they loved being at home xx

    • Bianca

      Oh no this is horrible 😩 I must say that I’m starting to think joey is not going to come back it’s nearly 4 weeks now and I’m starting to lose hope especially after my Alfie cat being killed this week I can’t help but think I’ve lost them both. My mother passed away earlier this year so I feel hopeless. I have never heard of a pet communicator I don’t know what to say Carly other than I hope he does come back a year is a long time though darling. I can’t understand why joey has left either we absolutely dote on him but we moved house 7 months ago and now love opposite a large field and his hunting went into overdrive so he has been enjoying his life here perhaps a bit too much? We did recently have a new baby so I’m worried it’s all been too much and he’s simply run off too stressful at home? I don’t know just feel heartbroken. I really do truly love cats and I can’t see myself never having another but I’ve been looking at having g a cat fence installed it’s a bit pricey but I’ve inherited a sum of money from my late mother and I’m going to use some of it to have this installed- I’m going to look like a crazy cat lady but hey who cares what the neighbors think?She loves cats too so I’m sure she would approve-at least this way they can enjoy the garden but hopefully never have to be put in danger from the road etc. Please let us know if you have any news – sending you hugs Bianca x

  • Bianca

    My cat was found dead Sunday morning he had been run over this is the second time this has happened to a cat of mine and I’m devastated- it took a long time to get on with life without my first beloved cat sapphire and now to lose another this way is unbearable- I also have a missing cat joey who has been gone for 3 weeks (he does have a history of going off for periods of time but never this long) my mother passed away 7 months ago suddenly and this is just too much

    • Angela

      I am so sorry for what you are going through. It is alot for one person to bear. I lost my little guy Saturday to a car accident and feel devastated as well. I lost another cat 12 years ago the same way. So I totally understand how you feel. I’m so sorry for the loss of your mother as well. 🤗

      • Bianca

        Angela thank you for your message it really has helped sharing on this thread and I’m so sorry for your losses it’s a special bond a cat has with their owner and leaves a massive void. Thank you for giving your condolences for my poor mother as well she was only 54 so I have struggled with her passing too 😩. Some amazing news though I can’t quite believe I’m writing this but I got up at 1.50am this morning and found my beautiful lost cat joey asleep on our sofa!!!😳😳😊😊😊 8 weeks he has been gone and we had started to lose hope!!!He is skinny and a bit beat up but apart from that seems fine – has eaten a ton of food and came and slept by my head for the rest of the night….I’m sooooo happy 😊 taking him vets for a check up tomorrow. Would love to know where has spent the last 8 weeks 🤔 Xxx

    • Angela

      Bianca I am so grateful and happy for you that your Joey came home. Your mom must have guided him home. I am glad I found this site. Although my wound is fresh and my Ollie is gone forever, it is likely bing with the guilt of not listening to my gut and not letting him out that day. Some people have judged me for letting my cat outside but he was truly happy being there and I tried a pen but he always found a way to escape. Now my other guy cries to go outside and attacks the door but I too afraid to let him out. 💕Again I am truly happy to hear of Joeys safe return.

  • Stephen

    My cat, BC died this week 26.09.17 He appeared outside my Mum and Dads house two years ago, around Christmas time and gradually moved in. We nicknamed him BC (Big Cat) because he was bloody massive! He was a tabby cat who’d obviously been well looked after. We think he’d once belonged to someone who had died and he’d ended up a homeless moggy as a result. When he first appeared in the garden on a chilly December evening I immediately went out to see him and instead of running off he was friendly and at ease. I welcomed him into the house, fed him, let him get warm and then let him go back out again. The next night he would appear again and the same thing would happen, until gradually he eventually moved in permanently with my parents. Over the past two years he has become part of the family. Whenever I’d come back home the first person I’d ask for was BC, he’d usually be sat on my Mums knee while she watched TV, as snug as a bug in a rug! We spoilt him rotten, he’d even sleep with Mum and Dad, sometimes on Mums head which was hilarious. Recently though he’d been off his food. My folks had gone away on holiday so I took sometime off work to look after him so he didn’t have to go into a kennel, I noticed it was harder and harder to get him to eat, he was a fussy bugger anyway so didn’t think to much of it. That week I spent a lot of time with our beloved BC. In the day he’d be fast asleep, curled up on the bed as I worked on my laptop, eventually he’d get up and walk over the keyboard, meaning … time for lunch! At night he’d jump on the bed and we’d go to sleep, him purring away. In the morning he’d be up and come and sniff my face, meaning … time for breakfast!
    When my folks returned from hols their first question was … ‘how’s BC?’ I said he was fine but a little off his food. I returned to work and when I came back to visit for the weekend Mum said ‘Our boys not well.’ I immediately went to see him and my heart sank … BC’s sad eyes looked at me knowingly, he was breathing heavily, his fur looked greasy and he’d lost a lot of weight, I knew it wasn’t good. In the morning I woke early to check on him, hoping but not really believing he’d be a bit better. My poor BC got up as usual from my folks room when he heard me but he was frail and lethargic, I sat with him a while and tried to feed him but no joy, he just sniffed at it and then looked at me sadly with his beautiful big olive green eyes, he was very thin and had a melancholy, knowing look. Later that day I took BC to the vets, he was so well behaved as they examined him and I had to leave him there for an operation. I hoped and prayed he’d be ok but he didn’t make it. Now he’s gone … the chair he used to sit is empty and the house is quiet. The poem by Auden springs to mind …
    The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
    Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
    Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
    For nothing now can ever come to any good.
    BC’s death has hit me for six and I’ve felt truly down, I’ve been wallowing in grief … but just now in the car driving along, I thought about him and I smiled … thinking about him,
    The way he would sleep with his body contorted one way and is head facing the other. His disappearance for hours on end during the summer, where on earth did he go? The way he’d cuddle up to Mum while she watched TV. His fussy eating habits. His loud purrs. The way he’d flop onto his back and allow you to tickle is beautiful soft white fur. His slow lumbering walk with his head low to the ground. The thud of his paws as he jumped of the bed in the morning. His gentle playfulness and those beautiful eyes. The way he was constantly startled when you walked behind him. Having to sit and stroke him while he ate … He made our lives better and brighter and happier for his presence but it’s time to let him go … I’m going to print some pictures and frame them … I’ll not forget you BC … RIP my mate!

  • Stephen

    My cat, BC died this week 26.09.17 He appeared outside my Mum and Dads house two years ago, around Christmas time and gradually moved in. We nicknamed him BC (Big Cat) because he was bloody massive! He was a tabby cat who’d obviously been well looked after. We think he’d once belonged to someone who had died and he’d ended up a homeless moggy as a result. When he first appeared in the garden on a chilly December evening I immediately went out to see him and instead of running off he was friendly and at ease. I welcomed him into the house, fed him, let him get warm and then let him go back out again. The next night he would appear again and the same thing would happen, until gradually he eventually moved in permanently with my parents. Over the past two years he has become part of the family. Whenever I’d come back home the first person I’d ask for was BC, he’d usually be sat on my Mums knee while she watched TV, as snug as a bug in a rug! We spoilt him rotten, he’d even sleep with Mum and Dad, sometimes on Mums head which was hilarious. Recently though he’d been off his food. My folks had gone away on holiday so I took sometime off work to look after him so he didn’t have to go into a kennel, I noticed it was harder and harder to get him to eat, he was a fussy bugger anyway so didn’t think to much of it. That week I spent a lot of time with our beloved BC. In the day he’d be fast asleep, curled up on the bed as I worked on my laptop, eventually he’d get up and walk over the keyboard, meaning … time for lunch! At night he’d jump on the bed and we’d go to sleep, him purring away. In the morning he’d be up and come and sniff my face, meaning … time for breakfast!
    When my folks returned from hols their first question was … ‘how’s BC?’ I said he was fine but a little off his food. I returned to work and when I came back to visit for the weekend Mum said ‘Our boys not well.’ I immediately went to see him and my heart sank … BC’s sad eyes looked at me knowingly, he was breathing heavily, his fur looked greasy and he’d lost a lot of weight, I knew it wasn’t good. In the morning I woke early to check on him, hoping but not really believing he’d be a bit better. My poor BC got up as usual from my folks room when he heard me but he was frail and lethargic, I sat with him a while and tried to feed him but no joy, he just sniffed at it and then looked at me sadly with his beautiful big olive green eyes, he was very thin and had a melancholy, knowing look. Later that day I took BC to the vets, he was so well behaved as they examined him and I had to leave him there for an operation. I hoped and prayed he’d be ok but he didn’t make it. Now he’s gone … the chair he used to sit is empty and the house is quiet. The poem by Auden springs to mind …
    The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
    Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
    Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
    For nothing now can ever come to any good.
    BC’s death has hit me for six and I’ve felt truly down, I’ve been wallowing in grief … but just now in the car driving along, I thought about him and I smiled … thinking about him,
    The way he would sleep with his body contorted one way and is head facing the other. His disappearance for hours on end during the summer, where on earth did he go? The way he’d cuddle up to Mum while she watched TV. His fussy eating habits. His loud purrs. The way he’d flop onto his back and allow you to tickle is beautiful soft white fur. His slow lumbering walk with his head low to the ground. The thud of his paws as he jumped of the bed in the morning. His gentle playfulness and those beautiful eyes. The way he was constantly startled when you walked behind him. Having to sit and stroke him while he ate … He made our lives better and brighter and happier for his presence but it’s time to let him go … I’m going to print so pictures and frame them … I’ll not forget you BC … RIP my mate!

  • Sophie

    Everyone is talking about how they lost their 17-18 year old cat. My baby only made 9,5 years… I thought I had many more years with her. I was ready to say goodbye one day, but not now! It was all very sudden. In a matter of days, she had gotten so sick, that if she were to live a year more, it would be in pain. We didn’t want her to have to live through that.
    She was the love of my life. She was my soulmate. We spend every minute, I was home, together. She always slept in my bed. She truly was special.
    As someone who is mentally ill, I would never have gotten to where I am without her.
    I had her since I was eleven. She died shortly after my 20th birthday. It is as if she said “okay. that was my job. you’re an adult know, you have to learn to be alone”. But I’m not ready to lose her.
    Water lilies clean the water, so the fish can breathe. She was my water lilies. Now I have to learn to be my own water lilies.

    • Bianca

      Sophie I’m so sorry for your loss.

      i understand your loss my cat sapphire I’d had since I was 13 she got hit by a car & foxes attacked her as she lay in the road (I pray to god she was gone by then)when I was 26 and I was totally devastated- she was my sister my best friend she slept on my bed every night all those years sat on the edge of the bath tub as I bathed she was my beautiful shadow. I’m 32 now and still wish her good night every night she will be with you forever xx

    • Lisa

      Sophie, in my grief I say the same thing. Everyone talks about their cats who live to 20 years old! I lost one cat at 11.5 years and one at 10.5 years. It doesn’t seem fair, but I know life is not fair. 20 years would still not have been long enough with both my cats. I believe they are here for a predestined amount of time with a purpose. And I see you recognize that too. Hopefully you will bring another cat into your home someday that will bring you through another ‘season of life’. God bless you and your kitty.

  • Linda

    The Day that Nature Cried

    Dark clouds gathered
    and rolled across the sky
    weeping sleety tears;
    A precious soul had died.

    Trees flailed their barren limbs
    toward the grieving sky,
    Spent flowers bowed faded heads
    and waved a last goodbye.

    The grass where he had lain
    in summer’s sunny rays,
    shivered ‘neathe the gathering snow
    Long gone those joyful days.

    Silent birds huddled
    on ice covered branches
    as late clinging leaves
    fell in spiraling dances.

    The natural world was mourning
    A dearest one had died,
    his passing felt so deeply,
    the day that nature cried.

  • Linda

    To My Precious Cat

    I walk between two worlds
    A bittersweet place to be
    I walk between a dream of yesterday
    And today’s reality.

    We’ve had many years together
    Been through life’s ups and downs
    She was always there in loving ways
    A better friend could not be found

    She was such a pretty girl
    I often told her so
    But time and age and illness
    Had become a mortal foe

    Today, like many yesterdays
    She sought her special nest
    She tried to climb the garden stones
    But after two she had to rest.

    She could not hide the wobbly legs,
    and all the pain she felt
    She turned to me with pleading eyes
    “Mom, I need some help.”

    I took her in my arms
    To her special spot
    I sat with her and kissed her fur
    Vowing, this misery must stop.

    I held her close and stroked her face
    Her golden eyes met mine
    we’ve shared much love, but now we shared
    the knowledge that it was time.

    Yesterday was a world complete
    With my cherished friend close by
    But today is a place of sorrow and tears
    Soon she’ll be gone with a last goodbye

    So let me take the pain you feel
    And place it in my heart
    Now you may rest in comfort
    and in gentle sleep depart.

  • Justine

    I have 2 cats.Jazzie who is 21 and Angel who was 18 who died yesterday. I thought i would have Angel after Jazzie passed, but that wasn’t the plan. I have no children, they were my family. I took care of my mom for 13 yrs and Angel won my mom over who didn”t like to touch animals and she ended up spending hours petting her. Angel gave her unconditional love and was quiet and sweet. She slept with my mom until the day my mom passed away. She came to my bedroom and was trying to get me into my moms room where i followed her to and she has never left my moms bedroom since and slept next to me. In my darkest moments she was there with her head on my arm or shoulder comforting and purring to me. Every night she laid on a 2nd pillow behind mine and let her tail touch the top of my head. Last night was one of the hardest of my life going in there and not seeing my little Angel laying there waiting for me. I couldn”t stop crying. Just maybe her job on earth was complete winning my mom over and comforting both of us. Now I can go back to my bedroom but I feel so empty and alone. Jazzie sleeps in a chair in the livingroom now. She used to be with me but I fixed a spot for her there where she can see the coming and going and she perks up to see the light on the TV. I can only hope I get enough time to heal before I have to go through this again with Jazzie. My heart is so heavy despite thinking of all the joy she brought us the loss is so painful.Thanks to all for listening and may you find peace in your heart.

  • Connie

    As I lay in my bed, hardly able to move due to the cats around me, I can’t help but cry over my young Punky Monkey. I have kids so there was no unusual attachment and again, I have 5 other cats. Punk had just been with me one year. Somehow, I knew he wouldn’t last long – he was just too special, too loving, too unique. I got into an altercation with a group of thugs and one brought his pitt bull over by my house when I was gone. I made sure that prick went down – just for my Punky. He is in jail today – and I hope he’s got a new boyfriend tonight. It makes me feel a bit better because I do believe in revenge. However, I miss that kitty cat more than ever. Don’t get me wrong, I love my other cats and dog but the Punk Monk was one of a kind. It’s been a few days now since his death, but it’s crazy – I’ll see another one of my black cats walk up and for a second I’ll think – maybe it’s him, ….isn’t that insane? I just miss that cool cat so much. I can’t believe he’s dead. I’ve had many cats over the years, but he was my favorite. He’d stand up on his hind legs and give me a hug, he’d wake me in the mornings and give me sweet kitty kisses – he had such a great personality and he was jealous! So now, the other cats are on my bed as Punk would never allow them otherwise, they’d have to sleep with my son or on another bed…or with the 100 lb dog. I miss that little kitty – my heart is heavy. Thanks for listening. And yes, I will make sure that jackass who brought the dog over will pay and pay and pay some more. When he screwed with my pets, he screwed the wrong person. I don’t forgive, I don’t forget. He took from me a great cat. I miss that baby sooooo much. What a fine personality that little kitty had – a rescue kitty too. damn i miss my cat.

  • karen

    I lost my queen Cleopatra cat a week ago nearly. she was 17. I feel like I lost a child. I my self have no human children. it doesn’t feel real, that she is not here. she was laid too rest in my garden patch, with bright coloured flowers, her grave covered with marble slate and adornments.
    I go there everyday about a hundred times. I was so used too her in my life, looking after her , loving and sharing her purrs and rubs. I never thought of life without her. not ever thinking of the day she leaves this earth. its not that I didn’t know it would happen, just didn’t think about her not ever being here. I just want too kiss and hold her in my arms.
    I remember her look before the last needle. she was telling me that she was ready too go. I told her how much I loved her and said, go too sleep baby. you are the best and I promise I would take care of you even from your grave. that moment of saying goodbye too my lovely regal queen is constantly etched in my mind sight. the pain is still fresh and I am grieving, I know that over time this will get easier. I am remembering all the great times. it helps me too read other peoples stories. we all loved and received unconditional love back. we are the lucky ones too have shared a life with a cat who thought we were their world. that’s love you never forget and eventually after the grieving process, rejoice and celebrate their life. RIP CLEOPATRA. I will never forget you.

  • Lori Craddock

    It has been one week, today, since my cat “Queenie” went missing. I woke up early for work and went to get her, as I did many mornings, form our front porch only to discover that she was no where to be found. She loved being outside at night, and as much as I hated letting her, I would let her if I had to be up early the next morning and couldn’t stay up late enough to coax her in. But when she wasn’t there, and then still no sign of her by daylight, I knew. Something terrible had happened. I searched every where I could think of, all day. I would search, come inside and cry, then go search some more. Nothing.
    Queenie was a 23 year old cat that I rescued when she was around a year old. She was frail, deaf, and loved to nap in the comfort of my room on my days off. I felt such peace when she was safely sleeping. Somehow I knew that her time was drawing closer and closer. But, I never imagined that I would lose her this way. That she would just vanish without a trace. It’s absolutely devastating. I miss her every minute of every day. The pain of losing her at times feels too hard to bear.She was my cat, so I am all alone in my grief. I can’t bring myself to throw her things away. I keep thinking I’ll come home from work and find her waiting in the driveway for me like she did every day. I hope it gets easier with time. I don’t know. I pray that she didn’t suffer. The hardest part is finding closure when I have so many questions. Maybe I’ll get them some day.

  • Mervat

    I lost my baby girl cat only 2 days ago.. She was 17 years old and she was sick only last 4 months of her life.. It is really Sad and painful.. I feel losing the light of my soul and heart… I am a member on a group called bin kitty.. I thought it is better to go feeding hungry stray cats in an area to safe an innocent soul.. may be this will make me feel better.
    But eveytime I think that my cat is hugged now with the sands in her grave instead of being hugged with my arms I feel really sad and I cannot stop crying .. although I buried her in the family grave yard but still I feel that we are not together… I thought as well to search for a cat that looks exactly like her and name her the same name.. not sure if this is correct..??

  • Autumn

    My beautiful kitty nermal just died yesterday at such a young age. He was so unique. He never hissed, scratched and always gave you kisses. A unique feature about my angel is that he only had one eye. My family hasnt been too worried about my cats death but when I heard about it, I went into instant panic mode. Now every time I go outside on the patio, I always wait for him to pounce up the stairs and plop his fur ball of a body into my lap. But then I realize that he is no longer with us. I’ve been crying my eyeballs out everyday and every night since, and I can’t stop shaking. He was litterly my best friend and I told him everything. And he seemed to listen. My family tells me that I’m overreacting and that we can get a different pet sometime in the future but no other cat, dog, lizard, chicken, llama, can replace such an animal. I was reading the comments and it made me feel so much better because I know I’m not the only one experiencing the death of a friendly fur ball. I am glad that I can relate.

  • Mike

    I’m upset about the loss of the best cat I’ve ever met, Elsie. She had been abused (including paint poured over her). My friend found her. At first she was frightened of people, and very thin and shaky. He put a wooden shelter outside for her, to keep her dry in the rain. He put out food for her, with my other friend. They nurtured her, until her confidence grew.

    My friend eventually took her in, and took her to the vets. They reckon she might have belonged to someone who had died a few years previously, with no relatives! So she truly was alone. My friend and another friend looked after her better than anyone could do so. She got and gave so much love it was unbelievable. She helped people’s healing process with so many people’s mental health problems. She was like an angel coming to earth! I’m an atheist, but it sure does feel like that.

    Well, she died yesterday. I saw her dead body today, and it was so upsetting. I stroked her and she was still slightly warm. Bless her. I cried. Being upset over an animal or person dying, is only because we loved them so much. The more we love a person or animal, the more painful it will be when they die. The pain is proof we loved them so much. Of course, sometimes people don’t feel pain when grieving at first, as they are so numb, but hopefully you understand my sentiments. Hugs o anyone who’s lost their pet (or indeed a person in their lives).

  • Ania

    I lost my cat of 19 years two weeks ago, and I am broken. I had him from 7 weeks of age, and he has been my constant companion for all that time, helping me through all my adult life traumas and always being at my side. I’ve lived alone for the last 15 years, but now I finally know the loneliness of being alone. I still haven’t vaccuumed since he died, and his cupboard is still full of his food, bowls and other stuff. His photo sits next to my Dad’s, who died 3 1/2 years ago, and I light a candle for them every day. I am lost without him and miss him so much…:-(

    • Alan

      I was told today that my cat Mickey has cancer in his throat, and there is nothing they can do for him.
      I am heartbroken, truly heartbroken, i can’t imagine my life without him.
      I know i just have to enjoy the short time i have left with him, but i dread that day i know is going to come.
      I know some people will say its only a cat, but i have no human children, and my Mickey is like my baby, i love him so much. I have had so much grief in my life over the past year, i feel angry, i have lost both my parents, my mother-in-law and my father-in-law.
      If there’s a god i feel he has abandoned me.

    • Jackie Kliver

      Hi there: I am so sorry. I just lost my Skippy of 16 yrs. He was so vibrant and went into have 2 teeth taken out. But they sent him back as a as a “vegetable” To see him go from our house as a happy, loud talking cat to send him back home as a vegetable is devastating. How can this happen? I thought vets were supposedly to help our babies. Do not where to go from here, as he has left his brother of 16yrs. whom does not want to know me now. I am crushed now. What should I do now? Maybe get a rescue cat for company, maybe get Scoutie to get a mouse or a bird. The were very busy hunters, but nothing in the last 3 weeks. I look forward to any of your responses.
      Skippy seemed to know that I had a sickness “breast cancer” and never left my side since I came back on 29th March 2017. Al the stuff I have been gone thru he has always been by my side. Even when I slept with him, he always held his paw on my affected breast.

      • Justine

        I am so sorry for what happened to skippy. I do believe cats grieve as I saw a previous one I had grieve the loss of my dad and Angel whom I just lost grieve the loss of my mom to whom she was attached. I would wait a little while, let things settle and get another cat. Scoutie is used to having another cat around. That is where I am coming from. My Angel left her older non biological sister of 21 yrs. If I bring another one in to keep Jazzie company I think it would kill her. She would think I was trying to get rid of her. In actuality she needs to get to the vets but I cant do it, not after losing Angel. She ‘s not sick but should have blood work done. Also I also believe that they know when we are sick as you experienced. I’ve seen it with every cat I’ve owned. Even when I’ve had a headache Angel who slept with me after my mom passed, always wanted to touch my head. I had a knee replacement yrs ago but before that had arthroscopic knee surgery and a yr of complications and Angel and Jazzie both wanted to lay on my knees. What a sight, right? You will always have the wonderful memories of skippy, just as I try and remember the sweet good times of Angel but it doesn’t lessen the pain we feel right now. So my advice is wait a bit let him grieve Skippy and then get another to keep him company. Peace-Justine

  • Rich

    Thank you for this article. I did help. My cat, Arizona, died today after more than 14 years. I remember him being just a tiny nothing at 8 weeks and to see him today at the vet so weak and tired, it absolutely kills me. He had a variety of issues but the beginning of it was hyper-thyroid-ism about a year ago. When the vet did an x-ray and blood work today, one kidney was 4x the size of the other, his liver was swollen and his levels were more than 2.5x the norm. He was a mess. I knew this day was coming. On the one hand, knowing that he is no longer in pain or suffering, bring me joy but on the other hand I miss him so much. I also feel grief for my other cat, who is 13 and was raised by Arizona. I don’t think he’s figured it out yet that Arizona isn’t coming home but I am already so, so sad for him. Arizona was my friend and buddy through so much. He will be missed by me and my family forever. I also agree with other posters…that last one about the angel holding my cat made me lose it. RIP Arizona. Love you buddy.

  • Jane

    I lost Milo on November 20, 2015. I still cry all the time about it. He was only 2 years and 4 months old. I love him so much and it kills me that I may never get to hold him again. He was my shadow. My sweet little baby. That last one on the list about imagining him up in heaven being held by an angel just made me sob into my hands. It’s such a nice thought. I hope there’s a heaven. I know he’d be up there and all of the angels would adore him. He was such a special guy. I saved this page within a week of his death, but didn’t have the strength to post about it on here until now. This page has helped me.

    • kate

      Thank you for sharing, I lost my Whiskey September 30, 2017. I’m heartbroken about it, he was only a year and half old. He used to be an indoor only cat but when we moved in May he became an indoor/ outdoor because he loved being outside so much. He used to only stay and play in our yard and was always by our side, but recently he became more and more curious and he was hit by a car September 30th. I miss him so much and I feel the same pain you do, he was my little baby and he didn’t get enough time on this earth

      • Bianca

        Oh Kate I’m sorry to hear this R.I.P whiskey 😥 it’s a tough one as they are free spirits and naturally wish to explore and hunt – this is why my partner tells me it’s not our fault Alfie was killed – as he was simply doing his natural “cat thing” which was to roam free. Having lost 2 of my beloved cats to the road this is why I’m having the cat fencing installed – it’s very sad as whiskey was so young try to hold on to the love he has being with you Kate. My poor Alfie was literally living in a bin when I found him and brought him to live with me 5 years ago & im trying to hold on to the fact that finally he knew what it was to be loved – whiskey was happy in the time he had in your love and in his short life – so many cats will never experience that – try to hold on to that Kate – sending you a cat hug (which are the most special ever!) xx

  • Sarah

    I just lost my sweey baby kitten Kai, who was only a few weeks old, and i miss him dearly. He had congestion, respiratory infection, and it hurts the most because he was like my son, my first child. I unfortunately had to watch him pass away in my hands while trying to rush him to the vet. I cant help but to feel it was my fault and i could’ve done something or anything better for him.

    • Kaylee

      Sometimes we just don’t know.
      Sometimes all we can be is the vessel that cares for something until it has to leave.
      Honey, you kept him warm, you held him.
      Sometimes that’s all you can do.

  • Geddes

    I just lost my cat “Moxie” she was all I had after all my siblings moved out of the house I was so attached to her because I felt that she stayed with me even though my siblings moved on. I lay awake at night just wishing that I could look up and see her curled up on my bed. I will never forget her, she will always be in my heart. Rest In Peace moxie 2003- June 24, 2017

  • Karen cleveland

    My cat yingyang who was black and white died April 1,this year 20217 on my mothers Birthday who died three years ago.the worst kind of pain, I had him since he was 3years old he was 11when he died I miss him and so do my husband and my daughter.we just talk ,laugh and tear up sometimes.we will adopt a new kitten to raise we’re just waiting to move!yingyang can never be replaced we got him creamated He was our pet and we loved him even my son took it hard I wrote a poem to honor yingyang.It is said that cats guard the gates of heaven On April 1,2017 God called A new cat to Earn His wings to become A new Guard where Angels sing He was loved by many will be missed a lot a cat that will never be forgot yang was called to take his place to be a new guard for heaven gates!he will forever have his paws on our hearts!

  • Nancy

    I lost my cat, “Snickers”. She was a rescue, who ended up rescuing me. We first meet when she snagged my sweater as I passed too close to her cage.
    We were at the Santa Fe A.S.P.C., my teenage daughter said “oh, I want a kitty”. 16years, 7months and 19 days later she would be my furry lil” buddy. I looked to see what my sweater had got caught on,, it was Snickers. She looked away as if to say, “opps my bad!” But what I saw was a nasty cat with a nasty attitude that didn’t seem to care about my sweater at all!
    I was literally hooked from that moment on.

  • Jaymie

    We had to put Sandy down the saturday of Memorial day weekend.She was 17 years old and having strokes.I don’t know what was worse the siezures or listening to the non-stop crying while waiting for the vet to open.We cried the whole weekend.Missing her still hits without warning.We still have her sister who is also 17.Don’t if I’ll want another pet after she dies.

  • Deborah Jayne

    A few weeks ago I wrote about the loss of my beautiful little friend Pablo, a stunning black cat with a huge personality, to a road accident.Writing it all down was healing for me as I am sure is the case for many people writing about their own losses. The reason I am writing this is that if you have the love and a caring safe home to offer another cat,especially a rescue, please don’t say what I did initially which was : “never again.”
    Just a fortnight after losing Pablo I decided that I would like to make a donation to a local animal charity in memory of Pablo. I flicked on to the website of the nearest animal sanctuary to my home and staring with one glistening emerald eye from the page was a black cat, Shadow. Shadow was a road traffic victim who was left with one eye and a limp and in need of a loving home. By the end of the week and after much thought and consideration, Shadow was sitting in my window. He is a house cat and as quite an elderly fella he is quite happy with the arrangement. I could never bring myself to let a cat roam outdoors again – at least knowing the dangers at my current address. Pablo is still part of our lives as there isn’t a day goes by without something happening to help us remember him. Shadow is huge, fluffy and jet black, but his colour is where the similarity to Pablo ends, He isn’t a Pablo replacement and never could be… he is Shadow – a chilled out, aloof gentleman who enjoys being brushed and played with – when he feels in the mood! We love him as we loved Pablo and I am sure that Pablo, in the circumstances,would have approved.

    • Bianca

      What a beautiful tale – just lost a second cat yesterday to a road traffic accident and reading this has made me cry and smile – thank you Deborah

  • Brian and Rayna

    Thanks to everyone for posting their stories, they are helping me. At this time yesterday, we said goodbye to Juno, our big Siamese boy, after seventeen and a half years. We got him and his half-sister, Kaya as two month old kittens in February of 2000. We were 23 and 24 years old, and had been together for less than two years. I think a big part of the pain is realizing how much of your own life went by while they were a part of it. They have been with us for nearly our entire relationship. Juno is the best cat I’ve ever known. His personality was so awesome and sincere, even “non-cat people” loved him. In the winter, he would paw at the covers every night until we let him under to get between us. He would also barge his way into my robe to snuggle whenever he could. He had so many other funny quirks I can’t remember or list them all here. I remember when we got him, we went to the house where the people were selling them lived. It was not a good situation, there were lots of animals and kids and it was loud and smelly. I picked him up out of the cage and thought he would be sketchy b/c of the noise, but he rested comfortably and looked up at me as if to say “ok good, we’re going home now, right?” From that moment on, he was our best buddy. We of course went through many scares; him staying out all night, getting into fights w/ neighborhood cats (one ear wound resulted in an infection and a small missing wedge of his top ear, one time he had to have his eye sewn shut for 3 weeks), etc… In 2012 as we were about to leave for vacation he suddenly could not stand up. The vet offered to let him live at the clinic while we went on vacation. While we were gone he made something of a miraculous recovery that the vet did not expect and could not explain, so the last five years have been an absolute blessing. He developed bad arthritis and was on several medications, so we have been preparing ourselves for a while. None of that matters now. We are absolutely devastated. I can barely see to write this. Luckily, the decline was quick over the last couple of days so there was no argument about the decision. I stayed with him all day yesterday. He took his last drink from the sink (his favorite), laid under the car one last time and that was it. He is buried in “daddy’s robe” next to our vegetable garden. We know how lucky we got with him, and we love Kaya too. But we know there will never be another cat like Juno. We love you so much, Bubba. We will never forget you. Rest In Peace.

      • Brian and Rayna

        Thank you. I did not expect it to be this hard. We know how lucky we got. We dug out our old box of photos and cried a lot last night.

  • Charlotte

    Ive been sobbing uncontrollably for around 5 hours now, my furbaby mr.tibbs was found in the garden this afternoon, in the pouring rain by our neighbour who noticed him through their window, unable to move his back legs and was meowing for help (he never meows) my mum wrapped him up in a towel and called the vet immediately, with no car the veterinary receiptionist actually came to pick him up and take to the vets, (god bless her)
    He had whats called saddle thrombus, which is a blood clot that went to his legs and paralysed them, it was all very sudden, but the kindest thing was to put him to sleep as the vet said there’s nothing they can do, and he was in severe pain 🙁 this is the biggest animal loss I’ve experienced, i had him all through my twenties, through all the good and bad times, i will miss him so much. It’s comforting reading comments on here thank you all for sharing. I feel very lucky to have had such a wonderful animal in my life. X

    • Lana

      I am so sorry for your loss. And I know how you feel because the exact same thing happened to one of my cats. My husband had him and his brother since they were 6 weeks old. They both turned 9 years old this year. So I’ve been their mom for four years. He named them Dude and Manny. We came home around two weeks ago and he was on the floor howling and barely moving. His brother had licked his head and neck. We laid down a towel and he drug himself by his front paws onto the towel. That’s when we realized his legs were paralyzed. We rushed him to the vet and were told he had a blood clot that caused him to be paralyzed. It was saddle thrombus. There was nothing we could do. We don’t know how long he had laid there in pain since we had been gone for almost five hours at a high school graduation. We have been heart broken ever since. He was our friend. We don’t have any children so he was one of our children. We had his brother taken to vet to get him checked out since the vet told us it could be hereditary. He loved to eat and to get his head scratched. And he would get in your lap no matter if there was room for him or not. I am having separation anxiety from Manny and I cry and worry all the time. Manny is actually doing pretty well. He howls sometimes but we’re not sure if it’s for his brother or not. The vet said most non-dominant cats don’t grieve and Dude was definitely the dominant cat of the house. I am hoping that each day will be a little better. And I agree with you that we were lucky to have him in our life. 🙂

  • Belle

    I lost my cat, Chopper, just about 3 hours ago. We don’t live in the states or in a first world country so the vets here aren’t that great and they are also extremely expensive. He was the most precious little thing. He never made it hard for us to take care of him. He loved curling up to me and making any part of my body as his pillow. I may have looked like an idiot everhtime he meowed because I always answered back. For a more than a month now he’s been peeing anywhere in the house and on the beds but he’s trained to do it outside. Three days ago when we were about to take him to the vet we found him beneath the bed laying on his own pee and blood so we rushed to the vet. He was given vitamins and antibiotics and we were told to come back tomorrow. The vet said it was good that he can still pee and it’s not just stuck inside him. The morning we were taking him back he had more energy, he wasn’t moving the day before, he was able to fight agains me and even clawed my mom. But when we went home after he got his shots again and a new food prescription he became even more lethargic. I tried force feeding him before I slept because he hadn’t been eating for days. But he wouldn’t eat at all. So I stuck with water at least. The next day we had him on new food and fed him water. He wouldn’t move at all and he was just staring. He was still peeing with blood and we were able to feed him twice but he threw up the first one. The next one was just almost an hour before he died. My brother told me to check on him because it was like he was having trouble breathing. So I did and I could hear him breathe and it was like he was trying to throw up so I took the syringe and game him a few drops of water so he could swallow it or finally throw it up. His breathing was so loaud and I was panicking. Everyone was asleep it was almost 4 am except for my brother who just woke up and my sister who was just about to sleep. He meowed and looked at me. He meowed three times and it will always stay in my mind. Before I could still feel his heartbeating so fast but after that his body wasn’t rising and falling anymore, he wasn’t breathing and I couldn’t find his heartbeat. I yelled out to my sister and she rushed out and my brother followed. All three of us were trying so hard to resuscitate him.Then the green liquid he threw up before came out of his nose. I had already been crying and my sister said she could still feel something but he was just staring. He wasn’t breathing and I knew then that there was no more hope left. If the treatment for pets available in other countries was also a norm here I wouldn’t hesitate to loan money no matter how much the treatments were. He was just two years old and I loved him so so much. He was a smart one, he knew how to open doors and he was the baby I had.

  • Marie

    We just had to put our 19 year orange tabby Moses (MoMo) to sleep. He had kidney disease and was no longer benefiting from sub-q fluids and started having seizures. My daughter picked him out as a kitten at a shelter when she was 3years old (or should I say he picked her out? I still remember him running over to greet her) and it’s been terribly hard adjusting to him not being here. Our home doesn’t feel the same, and though we do have three dogs, it really feels incomplete without our cat. Moses was here through everything and when my daughter became an adult and moved out to her own house, he stayed and became my kitty. My husband doesn’t want another cat but I think I do…..

  • david delucca

    my kitty momo had 2 b put asleep he had lung cancer he was 14yrs old i miss him soo much alread he was my best freind in the whole world hope your happy in Rainbow Bridge i love u soo much momo ALOHA NIU LOA till we meet again angel

  • Gary

    4-25-17 Was the day I set my best friend free. Oh…I (and im sure most of us here:) wish I could show you all pictures. Felix was a Burmese/Ragdoll my Daughter got for her 5th birthday on May 31, 2000. When he was born his Moma somehow got a claw stuck in Fee’s forehead…The vet removed it and he seemed fine…slow but just fine. It was actually the deciding factor in why she chose him from the rest. I’ll probably never know how much of his “special chillness” was from that or just being a Ragdoll and thats just fine.
    As much as he became my best friend and we shared quite a special bond. Whenever my Daughter now almost 23 comes by to visit it was very clear who was his world. I know what you may be thinking as to why my Daughter didnt take him with when she moved out 3 or 4 years ago. Young and constantly on the go my daughter is. Felix had epilepsy sense he was around two years old and needed daily medication. Also…when she moved out she did take him with her…But she knew how much I had made him my world. I don’t socialize much to be honest and have battled depression for many years. When I’d get home from work he (until last fall) would greet me at the front door and we would go out for a walk. It would take him about an hour to get all the way around the house. But when he made it he would head up the steps to the front porch and inside we’d go. More and more last summer I noticed he’d hit the front lawn…find the sun and I’d let him just lay their I’d always give him an hour. Two years ago he began feeling he’d earned the right to pee in the house…anywhere he wanted. After much tension and frustration I ended up getting a precut piece of linoleum 8’x10′. added a baby fence and boom…Insert his bed, food, water, box and it was his home…in the dining room just to the right of my easy chair. He never pee’d or pooped anywhere except in his box till the last week or so before I set him free.
    So anyway, my daughter did take him for the first couple weeks when she moved but…She knew I was ALWAYS their for him and it was the best place for him and I will always be thankful to her for that.
    With his being 17 with epilepsy and kidney problems. The arthritis especially in his front legs was getting bad you could just tell. I thought if he could just get to summer with the sun and warmth it brought…but it wasn’t meant to be. Just outside of the Seattle area where its been gray, dark, cool and wet since October. The past few days weve had sun and 80s and I wish he was here as he so Loved the sun…
    Last fall I started picking him up at least an hour before I went to bed. We had our favorite soft fuzzy blanket. I’d wrap him up and we’d get into my rocking recliner and he’d slowly fall asleep looking at me. I knew the love when he would begin snoring and or tuck his face into my armpit…I know but he would just tuck himself in. When in his pen…I get up and leave for work at 3am. I would hit the kitchen to get my coffee, lunch, Felix some fresh dry food and water. I would increase the heater 3 or so degrees. I’d tell him… “I turned on the heater” and I kid you not he would ever so slowly get up…walk to his corner were he had a gap in the linoleum were the heat vent was (his favorite spot:) lay on the vent…Id cover him with his favorite blanket and off to work Id go.
    Especially since last fall I noticed he was really slowing down. I (we the whole family) set him free on a Tuesday. I had bought him his kidney diet dry food and big bag of litter the previous Friday…Then Sunday (my work week Friday) morning before I left for work…I noticed he had peed on the linoleum. I cleaned it up….I was off Monday…saw the same…watched with absolute dread, fear, grief and disbelief. Then that Tuesday morning came. Pee’d again and had fallin in it. You just couldnt walk well anymore and from all I’d been observing over the past 6-8 months…I finally understood what it was going to be and feel like…when “that day” came.
    I like to think he looked at me and told me it was time. I knew what was to do..But had no idea how to begin the intentional act of ending my best friends life…
    Absolutely no offence to others….it was just what I needed… I knew as much as I love our Vet…It is not were I wanted him to go. So having no idea what to do I googled something that brought an angel to our home.
    With all the busy schedules between my daughter, son in law, son and his fiancee myself and yes…even my ex wife made a point to be there. My Daughter called work in the morning when i told her I knew it was time. As hard as it was…I thank my whole family as nobody questioned my decision. My daughter came over right away and from around 10ish am until he left us at 6pm…he never made any attempt to walk. He just let me and her and then everyone who came hold, thank and love him. He was all clean and around 4pm we gave him his very favorite…A whole can of Tuna 🙂
    No matter how much I hurt and I still do so much. But I know in my heart if he was still here it would be for me and my selfishness. I couldn’t feel it but I know it hurt him to walk.
    The absolute wonderful Dr. Sara from Compassion 4 Paws gave us all the time we needed. She was the exact soft, understanding and caring type of person who has found their passion in life and I’m so very thankful that google helped me find her. When we had all spent a good hour saying our thank yous and goodbyes we set him free.

    Goodness having no intention of commenting and look…I wrote a book. Maybe therapy I guess. Thank you to anyone who actually read this and bless us all who are (yes:) fortunate enough to love something so much that the grief hurts so much…And I just hope we all (when the times right) have the courage to do it again <3
    Hugs to us all…

  • Persian cat

    I lost my cat last week of 13 years. Had him as a 6 month kitten. Best friend, companion anyone could ask for. Lost him to cancer. I’m devastated, lost, and empty without him. When he was put to sleep as I was holding him I felt my heart empty as his life emptied in my arms. I’m overwhelmed by the loss. The pain is unbearable. He took with him every ounce of love I had left in my heart. I miss him dearly.

  • sara

    I just lost our family pet cheetah boo boo Sunday oy 21.17 :'( I’m having a very hard time dealing with his loss. I adopted cheetah for my son who is now 6 on Dec.21.15 he I picked him up at school and we ran home my birthday was the next day also. O told my son I have a suprise for you he went to the washroom and he said “you got me a kitty” we already had 5cats we wanted to adopt one more make it 6 so cheetah was our last kitty adopted he was beautiful grey short hair with big yellow eyes :'( . I pet a few different kitties that morning and only cheetah boo boo started purring at me bitting my red Buttons on my Jacket. I said HES THE ONE! we gave him so much love and we miss him SO much! He wasn’t scared of nothing no VAccum no noises driller if I hung up picture frames nothing he was also very fast he was 5months when I adopted him . On may 4.17 I rushed him to Abbey Animal Hospital after I spoke to my vet who is further away my vet said sounds like he has a Blockage he needs vet asap so I went near home to Abbey Animal hospital who just did fast unblocking :'( catheter drain and meds he said 50/50 he might block I was pray he didn’t block, less then 24h cheetah blocked so sat may 6.17 i Rushed him to another vet Bietty Animal Hospital on Ontario I didn’t want to go back to Abbey Animal Hospital because he said he couldn’t do that again and he would have to be put down so I never went back and I paid $600 was suppose to be $760 but they kicked me out of there clinic for complaining that they didn’t do proper treatment I was upset and at EMERGENCY when I emailed them they should of known cared for my feelings but seems like most vets don’t care :'(( . At Bietty Animal hospital I did x-rays they put a syringe n drained 150ml out of Cheetah bladder n said he had to go to overnight EMERGENCY Stoney Creek so I paidb$350 left to Stoney and paid $1000 downpayment cheetah was with catheter from sat to wen he had blood urine crystals I said yes to PU surgery for Friday, he pulled his catheter out wen then I told him to stay till Friday easier but I wish I brought him home n took him back for surgery :'( instead. Surgery went well he was home next day sat I syring fed him special food gave water till Tuesday my total vet bill was $2575 . Then Tue I was worried took him for check up $95 paid he at the vet was so well we have a video him happy boy purring loved happy another vet was there he said bladder small well so I was happy but he had a respiratory infection developed fri at surgery and he had antibiotics but this other vet gave us Baytril 50mh half tablet a day so I left went home with my son new baby n cheetah . Cheetah eat his food first time alone that night only small amount but I was happy cuz he wasn’t eating much. Then started new pills Baytril wen Thur I noticed him not so well like upset tummy but I waited till Friday then he puked so I called they said continue then sat puked I called n said I’m stop Baytril I’m a bit worried vet said stop wait till tomorrow start more of other antibiotic. I noticed his left leg not working as well so I did research said may cause weak legs so I call vet he said go in or wait till SAT and since I had no car I waited :'( I feel guilty HORRIBLE I didn’t take him Thursday in :'( everytime I would ask for a ride my mom would yell n put me down :'( then Sun we had appointment for 2:30pm Bietty hospital BURLINGTON I saw cheetah I said b right back going to walk pups then we go he looked at me his back legs were weak :'( I came back we went to vet after my mom yell at me I was so worried I took my son n baby. In car cheetah started breathing thru mouth n pupils dilated so much I got so worried :'( then when I got there they took me to room nurse came then vet then vet rushed cheetah to back out IV n breathing tube cheetah heart stopped she shocked him he came back. She did x-rays blood. Blood came back KIDNEY Problems very bad KIDNEYS she said 15-20%survival but I can go to Stoney Creek EMERGENCY or put him to sleep. I cried my son cried I begged my mom to take us she said no :'( my son begged me mommy don’t kill cheetah I said I’m not I don’t want to put him to sleep but vet said he is very sick low survival rate she thinks best he sleeps :'( she said I would have to pay $600 then go to emergency pay $1000 downpayment for 3-4day stay there he has also low electrolyte :'( but vet was so scared to send cheetah incase he would die on the car or there over night she said it was best he sleep but my choice she spoke to my mom my mom agreed I didn’t want to :'( I feel so guilty I didn’t didn’t​ know if I had the extra $1000 :'( I feel guilty not taking him Thursday or Friday to the vet when Baytril made him sick I was angry blanking that drug for killing cheetah KIDNEYS :'( angry at heartbroken sad I am sad for cheetah that I couldn’t do more sad for my son crying so much with I we took photos with cheetah I wish we took more o only got him and my son hand and baby we kissed him we said sorry I love you so much we are DEVESTATED I feel like I let cheetah down maybe he wasn’t peeing like I thought he was :'( on his legs he sometimes peed himself from Pu surgery or pad r box I wonder if he re blocked DURING surgery they found 2stones also. It’s just very hard because in home and I call my cats and cheetah not here :'( I picture him everywhere I feel so sad and upset that I couldn’t do more :'( vet lady was very caring last vet she thinks cheetah had genetic Problems :'( we are heartbroken :'(. I type this crying on my mobile sorry for any spelling mistakes :'( n

  • Alana

    3 days ago I lost my best friend in the whole world. I’ve never had a bond like that with any other living creature. I adopted a kitten 6 years ago from the SPCA, and found out a month later that he had a herniated stomach and lungs. After putting him down, the SPCA gave me a chance to pick any kitten in the shelter. That’s where I found Harvey. My roommate at the time told me to pick him because his name was “Screech” and she was from Newfoundland (Screech is a newfoundland rum). I ended up moving out of that apartment 2 months later and have never spoken to that girl again… but Harvey and I moved back home, took a 26 hour train ride from Nova Scotia back to montreal, and proceeded to spend the next 4 years living there. He was the coolest cat in the whole wide world. Every day, I would come home from school or work and he would crawl into my lap and actually put his arms around my neck. Kitty hugs. He would give me kisses on my cheek during the hardest days of my life, and kept me from making any rash decisions during bouts of severe depression. I aways told him, it was me and him against the world and that everything would be okay as long as he was here with me. 2 years ago, after we had moved from Montreal to Ontario to start a new life just the two of us, when he was nearly 5, he had his first urinary blockage. I don’t know how this happened, he had always been an active outdoor cat with no health problems. I think maybe the food he had been on forever had eventually caught up… the vet said some male cats have smaller than normal urethras and that could have caused it as well. I spent over $3000 on the surgery and the emergency clinic saved his life. Two years of prescription food later, and he had been to the vet another time, and shown symptoms of blocking on and off every few months. Last week he looked irritated, but I bought some of the food that I find helps his blockages and hoped it would help. I couldn’t afford another vet bill, I’m a 25 year old woman who just graduated and barely makes enough to cover my rent and utilities. I had to leave for the weekend to attend a family wedding, so I asked a dear friend of mine to watch Harvey while I was gone. I woke up on Sunday to 9 missed calls, spanning over 3 hours. I knew. I had my boyfriend call him for me, and was told that he had died that morning. I don’t know what to do or how to deal with this pain, I can’t stop thinking about his eyes and how he would give me “eye kissies” by slowly blinking when I would sing him his favourite songs. I miss holding him and rocking him like a little baby, and dancing for hours with him sprawled out on my shoulder. I don’t know how I’m going to survive this, I feel so bad. I wasn’t there, and if I had money I could have brought him to the vet last week just to make sure he was okay. I don’t know how I’m ever going to get over this, I just want him back. 🙁

  • Toby

    3 days ago, my oldest cat Marley died in her sleep, she was 12 years old and it was a massive surprise when she died. I can’t believe she has gone. We also have another cat who is her younger brother, and a dog. She died the one night that i forgot to bring her up to bed with me, and all I feel is guilt. Not a minute goes by when I don’t think about her, her younger brother was there when she died and I keep replaying the noise I could hear from downstairs when I woke up, my other cat meowing at the top of his lungs. We buried her with my fish who also died recently today and I still think it was my fault. her younger brother was trying to cover up the fact that she had stopped eating, and in a matter of days, she went from a chubby, lovable cat, to a frail and thin one. I am glad we didn’t take her to the vet, because they would’ve put her down and that is the last place she would want to be in when she died

  • David Hawkins

    Try to shift focus and take a holistic view. Grief can become like a festering wound and if you obsess with looking in the same direction grief can become an obsession that never heals.
    I accidentally locked Scruff out at night. He was a Greek stray who lived the first year of his life completely outside. But still I feel guilt, (he was run over) and In think I always will.
    I am religious but I think this may help even if you are not.
    I emailed a priest. I said to her “I know God forgives me, but I can’t ever forgive myself”. She said just ask God to stand with you in your grief and guilt. And it worked ! I have not stopped feeling grief and guilt but I am no longer completely overpowered by those emotions.
    If not God then a friend or even yourself. It worked for me.
    And also a project. I’m going to make a film about the cats on Syros, the island where Scruff was born. If I can’t bring him back to life, I can do something for his brothers and sisters on Syros.
    And I going to plant a Shrub next to the tree he liked to climb and so I can look out from my balcony and remember him.

  • Iliana

    This is in the memory of Poki, the most heroic and strong newborn cat I know. He was small like a Pokemon. I found him in a mountain all alone and wild, screaming at everyone that got close to him defending himself. He even scared a big black dog. He had lost both of his eyes and he was bleeding but that wouldn’t take an inch of his strength away. I put on some gloves and I catched him. I took him home and, from being wild and screaming, he became the friendliest and sweetest creature. I was calling his name and he was running to me hitting in my shoe because he couldn’t see. He was so strong that he climbed on a cactus -literally- and tried to reach where my voice came from. We were playing, i fed him some milk and I let him rest from a while. He was sleeping so peacefully. But then I had to take him to the doctor. The doctor told me that he had to make a surgery to remove both of his eyes because they were infected and I did not have the luxury to wait until he became stronger. I had to do this immediately. I gave him the same day, did not even say goodbye and I waited in anxiety until the next day until the doctor called me and told me my happy and strog creature had died in the half of the surgery, he was so small that his heart could not make it. I could not believe this because he had a thirst for life. Whatever I say will not be enough of ypu have not met him. I knew him for one day but he will stay in my heart forever. His courage, strength and happiness were one the biggest lessons I was taught. My heart broke that day and I don’t know if I will let him go. My little fighter, I deeply hope you are in a better place because ain’t nobody that deserves it more than you.

    • Sam

      That bought a tear to my eyes…. poor kitty … x
      it brings a Smile to my face that somewhere over the rainbow they play happy and away from harm.. jumping after the butterflies and climbing up teh tall
      Tall trees..x

    • Ana

      Wow, that was so kind of you to take the time to make a difference, no matter how short. I’m sure he had the best personality. He didn’t have to die alone.

  • Deborah Jayne

    My beautiful black cat Pablo was lost to a hit and run driver last week. A week on the grief of his loss just won’t go away. Pablo was only one year old, hardly ever left his own back yard and if it wasn’t for a kind lady finding him and taking him to a local vet, we probably wouldn’t have ever known what had happened to him. Pablo was the light of my life – the focus of my little household, so playful and full of character he joined my little dogs like a fellow pack member. he curled up in their baskets and chased their tails. He was the most affectionate little friend anyone could want. I had fully intended him to be a house cat.However he hated staying indoors and loved to join everyone else on the garden. We live on the outskirts of the countryside and the risks seemed minimal – especially as Pablo spent most of his time outside on the neighbour’s shed roof sunning himself or playing with the dogs. I still can’t believe he’s gone. He was so special to all of us. His scratching posts at the side of every door where he would demand to be let through are still there and I keep finding his little stuffed mice all over the place. He was the apple of our eyes and we all miss him so much. Just a week before we lost Pablo, I had to have my very elderly dog put to sleep. He had a fabulous life and it was his time. Pablo was the comfort blanket for my two remaining little dogs to curl up with at night. How I wish I had kept him in as intended, but how hard on my adventurous little fellow who craved the great outdoors. No amount of grief can bring him back and I don’t feel i could ever bring another cat into the household after this tragedy, much as Id like to eventually. I hate the driver who killed him and probably never gave a thought to the misery and heartache he or she has caused. Pablo’s collar was covered in glow in the dark shapes. I don’t buy the idea that they might not have known they hit him. As for he should’t have been in the road. to me that just smacks of those folk who move to the country then complain about the sound of the cock crowing. Country road -slow down!!!!! I don’t know how I’m going to get over losing Pablo or include him in the little memorial garden for my elderly dog which Pablo watched me dig. Only a pet’s family can truly appreciate the gaping hole left by their loss.

  • Angela Billingsley

    I had to send my dear, sweet, Kittycat to heaven yesterday. She was 17 years old. I recently moved to new state 6 months ago for a job to begin working on my new career progression. She started fur pulling when I put the house on the market and people started coming through in August. She’d recently suffered a bad bout of pancreatitis but recovered surprisingly well, and I was so happy. I had to take her away from the house and yard she knew and loved for 16 years. She used to chase large dogs out of the yard and kept watch always. I found her in a car engine at work in 2000 at about 8 weeks old and we were inseparable since. She’d been having a hard time adjusting and also started sneezing and snorting a lot. She also had been vomiting and had some other problems that resolved, but the fur pulling never stopped. Yesterday morning she woke me as usual licking my forehead and moving to my hand. We got up and I gave her her breakfast wet food. She ate and drank well and came into the living room where I was drinking my coffee. Immediately she began snorting and coughing and there was a gurgling sound. I quickly went to her to find blood coming out of her nose. I called vet to see if I could get her in and we left immediately. I talked to her on the way and was praying for the best. The gurgly sound became worse. They rushed her back and gave her O2. I waited alone in the waiting room for what seemed like forever and then asked if they could please bring her and so I could hold her. After bringing her in I realized it was not a good situation at all and had gotten worse – her nose was swelling and she could not breathe at all and was struggling to breathe. I asked them to take her back to put her on the O2 again. The vet took films and came in. She told me of the various things she thought it could be but was not sure, among them a throat or nasal cancer. I got my mom on speaker phone and the vet talked about a nose scope, blood work, etc. But did say she could not guarantee a solution and with a cat this age, it was probably not a good prognosis. I made the decision to put her out of her misery. At 17 she had arthritis, couldn’t jump up on anything anymore (I had stairs for her to get up in bed and sleep with me) and had patches of fur missing. The that brought her in and I was really unable to hold her since she was screaming and trying to breathe. I asked the vet to hurry as quick as possible so that she could be out of suffering and pain. After they put her to sleep I stayed in the room for an hour with her and just kept telling her what a good kitty she’s been and how beautiful she was. I have not stopped crying and literally nearly sometimes heave with sorrow. Tonight I am numb and have cried so much my eyes will barely open. Her sister, Chloe passed away in January, 2014, from kidney failure, so I have no kitties left. I miss holding her and kissing her cheeks and her smell. She was always so clean. Going to bed and waking up this morning I’ve never felt so alone. I am hopeful that each day will be a bit better, just like with Chloe, but the pain is making me so slow and feels like I’m carrying 50 lbs of rocks. Thank you for letting me share and thank you to the others who shared. I do believe time will heal. ?

  • Jennifer Jefferson

    I just watched my 18 yr old orange tabby die. He lost weight this past year. I picked him up ti rock him, he wanyex down but couldn’t walk so i put him ba k on the chair by the window. I think he had a stroke then as his front legs became stiff for a little while a d his lower jaw went back and forth. I wonder if i caused his stroke by picking him up. His litter mate is still alive. I feel his loss so much.

  • Kim Lewin-Reilly

    We made the decision to put our beautiful boy Jim Jim to sleep yesterday. He was painfully thin and we presumed it was the stress of losing his sister 7 months ago, coupled with a big international move back home (to where they were born on Waiheke Island, New Zealand), on top of the fact he was 18. But when I took him to the vet yesterday morning, after he wouldn’t eat anything, she told me he had a large tumour around his tummy region. I was utterly devastated. How could I not notice? I kept saying to myself. I think because he became so skinny, his ribs started poking out and almost masked the tumour. He looked like humans who have been starved, and their tummies and ribs become enlarged. Just awful. So I bought him back home after having fluids, antibiotics and some sort of steroid injection to help ease his pain and encourage his appetite, but he went downhill throughout the day. He kept pooing everywhere outside, despite not having eaten much at all, and couldn’t settle anywhere, preferring to nestle his bum on our gravel driveway in between walking around the house, dragging his feet and generally looking very uncomfortable. I kept checking on him, seeing where and how he was. Probably deep down realising I might have to make a horrible decision later that same day. I’ve been mostly working from home these last couple of years, and Mr Jim has always been there. He really was my 1st baby. Always wanting to sit on my lap when I’m at the computer, or at night when we’re watching TV. Lying on my tummy or just being as close to me as possible when I did yoga… He was such a lovely boy, with big cleopatra lined eyes, dark tiger stripes/ tabby fur, big long legs (hence his other name; Dinosaur Jim), and incredibly loyal, warm nature…my hubby and I got him and his sister Jelly, 10 or 11 years ago as 7 or 8 year olds from the rescue centre we lived 5 minutes walk away from on Waiheke. Jim was the show pony, smooching our legs, standing up on his hind legs for a smooch or pats, big eyes looking up at us knowing we were all meant to be together. All while his beautiful sister Jelly sat perched atop her little shelf looking regal, letting him do all the work. We moved them with us several times, one of which was internationally from Waiheke to Melbourne, Australia. Each time Jelly would never really settle, but Jim would be just as happy as Larry. We lost his sister 7 months ago due to complications after having a non-cancerous lump removed affected her kidney condition within a matter of days. She was in such pain and was so sick of not being allowed to go out, living in the cold hills of Victoria, compared to the sub-tropical, lush beach haven of Waiheke… I kept thinking, if only we could get her back to Waiheke with us, I would feel so much better… She’d be happy in the sun. Unfortunately that didn’t happen, and we had to have her put to sleep. I felt like my soul had been ripped out and torn to pieces. I missed her terribly, and the boys – Jim Jim plus our other 2 Waiheke rescue brothers Scratchey and Monkey most certainly mourned for her too. Back home on Waiheke for the past 6 months, the boys have been so happy in the sunshine, with the softer climate they’re used to. Beautiful sea-views, lovely people, lush bush, no snakes. Jim Jim was always around, outside on the deck, lying in the sun, or on colder or more overcast days, inside on my lap, helping me work (ie: cuddle him). He had an appetite for fresh beef mince and chicken. Whenever we’d roast a chicken for ourselves, I’d spend a good half hour picking the carcass for the boys (and girl, when we had her). I keep feeling like I made an incredibly selfish move yesterday, putting him to sleep. He seemed to perk up a little when his Dad (Andi, my hubby) came home. Jim became even more attached to Andi towards the end… Looking up at him adoringly, making his little purp purp noises. We drove to the vet altogether, Jim so skinny and frail and trusting… I feel today like I betrayed his trust. Remembering him as he looked at us and the vet with his big, beautiful eyes. And then he was gone. His legs were so skinny, she had to try his second leg to get the needle etc in properly. I remember there was a little blood. I hugged him and kissed his head and cried, and cried and cried. Andi too. At this stage, it seems I’ll feel this inconsolable forever, but I’m trying to remember all the good times we all had together. Our little family of two humans, 4 cats, then 3… Now 2. Scratchey slept in his litter box last night. All curled up, and wouldn’t lift his head. Monkey curled up on our chests as we hugged each other on the couch. There were no purp purp sounds when we opened our bedroom door this morning. Just quiet. I miss his smell terribly, which I know sounds weird, but this beautiful being had been in my life, around me more frequently than any other living being for the last 10-11 years. I feel so honoured and grateful to have known him and to have had him in our lives. Jim, we will miss you forever. Our beautiful boy. I’m sorry we had to say goodbye. Love Kim and Andi, aka Mum and Dad.

    • ana

      So sorry! I had to do the same thing. He was lethargic and 3rd day of loose bowels. Sometimes they are in pain and they do not show it so we have to consider that. : (

  • Trudi Craig

    Our beautiful tortoiseshell cat Emily passed away two days ago and my son and I are absolutely devastated. She was 16, we’d had her and her brother Felix since they were 12 weeks old and my son was 7. My son will be 24 in two weeks. Our previous cat was so much loved and had a special bond with my son, he simply adored her. The loss we feel is unbearable, she was (and her brother) part of our family, now they’re both gone, the house feels so cold and empty. We will always love you darling Emily Rose and you will always remain in our hearts. RIP baby girl xxx

  • Ana

    I adopted my cat as a feral age 1. We moved around a bit and he had a terrific life and ate well; all organic non gmo in later years. No vaccines after he had a leisure from one of them in past. He lost weight when I went away for four days. I think the dry food dehydrated him according what I researched. It takes all the moisture out of him. I was also told my a vet that animals can start the dying process when you go away for more than a few day, if they are older, if they don’t want to upset the owner. They can be sick but not show signs til the end.
    He had a b-12 shot to help him eat and it worked and emergency canned food-vet said it’s like crack for cats-not too healthy (but it worked and then on to the healthier food). He had loose stools and was wiping himself on the floor. I would grab paper towels and tried to help him. He then went outside and went several times but I was worried he might not come back as cats can go off to die by instinct-they think they are protecting the rest of their pack/family. The second night he was out for 3 hours and I was thinking the worst. I was exhausted from the worry and saying so many goodbyes. I went outside at 2 am and wandered around and he must of been in the bushes. He was desperate to go out again later; he was still eating but super weak and wobbly. The vet said let him eat small meals but a lot so he gets his strength back. He went to the bathroom several more times on the grass and the slid himself to clean himself and began to cross the street as if to wander off for good. I brought him in as he was slow.That was the second night I slept with him in my arms. The vet came the next day and I said goodbye for several hours. How do you say goodbye? All the while wanting to give him an antibiotic and something for loose stools but he had become tired at 17 and lost so much weight. The vet had given him water injected to his skin on his back and that had really helped. It was a mobile vet. $350 for first visit. They clipped his nails and I wished they hadn’t but she didn’t ask me. He could not walk as they were too short. Before being put down they wanted to stick a thermometer in him I said no. I paid her before hand, I recommend. She said she was just going to give him a needle to sedate him slowly. He was like a frozen zombie. I wish I had known or she would of told me to say one more goodbye. I am upset about that. Later I thought she did that on purpose in case I changed my mind. We were going to take him outside to finish. She asked her assistant to carry him outside. I said I’ll carry him. I am so glad I did. He was so light but it was good to hold him. I asked her to help me lay his head gently as I laid him down. Then she was preparing the last needle and I said I can’t watch this I need to leave and did.
    In the morning it was hard coming into my room. They left his paw prints in a book in white clay. It’s only been 2 days since but I feel the heaviness of what happened and the sad way he looked when weak. He was so cute following me with his eyes each time I got up from the bed. I took several videos of us saying goodbye with sot music in the background to relax him. That was the hardest part watching him not feel himself and having loose bowels was awkward for him. Now I hope his comes to visit as others have said they sometime hear purring or lips smacking. I pet the pillow he was laying on in case he is there. I read that animals become upset when they see there owners crying when they are right to comfort them but they cannot be seen or get their attention.

  • Arheala

    My Smokey just passed early this morning. He suffered from a blood disease and a failing galbladder but by the time we knew it was too late. He started walking odd one day and soon wasn’t able to walk at all. He later in one position for 24 hours. We moved him to the front porch so he could see his sister Zoey and the sun one more time. He was only 4 years old. I feel like he was robbed of his life. He had so much more to live. I keep remembering how he would let us walk him on a leash and he loves it and how it blew my friends minds when I was in high school. And how he would run up to you And roll on his back asking for belly runs as soon as I got home. And how he use to cuddle me when I was sad. Andni wish more than anything that he could now. This cat made me believe animals have souls. I hope to God he’ll be there to meet me in heaven one day. And I hope he knows I love him… I wasn’t there at my parents house when he passed. And I feel horrid for it. By the time I knew they’d burried him already. They thought id be too heart broken to be there. And I guess they were right. I couldn’t have helped and he wouldn’t have even known I was there but… I wish I could’ve seen him happy one more time. I miss my kitty baby more than I can bear. This article helped me some though so thank you. I don’t know who to talk to about this. Everyone thinks I’m more emotional than I should be but this is the worst kind of pain cause it won’t go away. There’s a hole in my heart only he can fill so I’ll carry this forever.

    • Graham

      I had t put my loving Kitty (2 days ago) to sleep fue to kidney disease and Tumor, was on steroids past 7 weeks. Just became to much and the kidney disease was just to much. I caught the time to go just right. Not to early and not to late: she was 6 years old so young as well. I had her nearly 2 years and was neglected in her previous home. That made my heart feel better knowing she came to me for a reason and live her final two years in a home full of complete and utter love: I’m a 43 year old man and a logical thinker as an accountant so I think with logic not emotions. I have cried and cried and cried the past couple of months. The past two days have been rivers flowing that won’t stop. It hurts because of love. Pain and love are the same thing. The pain and hurt in your heart is not pain (it’s your logical brain fooling you) it’s love……pure unconditional love. So you cry and cry because those tears are love masked as pain and it’s part of the healing process. Every year that rolls down your cheek is your heart overflowing from all the love and it has to go somewhere…….embrace those tears xxxx

  • Bonnie Morris

    My wonderful amazing Mittens was 14 when I had to put him down 2 days ago. He was a fighter who actually used all of his nine lives and then some. He was hit by a car, shot at with a BB gun (died with 3 BBs still in his hind quarters) ripped apart by a pit bull just to name a few. He lived through two husbands and 7 kids, (some foster). He always sensed my emotions and lived in me when I was hurt or sad. He shared our home with my daughters sphinx, hated every minute of it. He was like, Ma, what the neck is this thing but grew to love her as did I. I’m lost and just trying to find a way to grieve. I hear him meowing when I pull in the garage and when I start to stir in the morning. I just miss him so very, very much.

  • Ai

    My cat Cookie passed away almost 2 months ago. A day after my wedding. He was 15, big boy with a big heart and he loved me the most. I miss him terribly. I cry every night in bed thinking about little funny things he did. I even dream of us playing in a field a few times and he was so happy. 🙁

  • Janet Prost

    I was out of the country three days ago when my sister called to tell me my Roly-Poly had died. She was 17. I had half expected it but it is so hard without her. She was so loving and so cuddly. I will never find another one like her. I have been crying off and on because I just can’t get used to not having her around anymore.

  • Wanda

    I just lost my 16 year old cat. He died on my bed and we are heartsick. I have prayed to get over this pain, Everywhere I look I see him, he was my life, I just keep praying to get over this pain…

    • Ana

      I truly hope your pain lessens each day but the pain is reflective of your love and needs to be there for now. This blog has helped me knowing others have the same doubts, sadness and lonely feeling once they are gone. : (

  • Alexis

    My baby kitten died Saturday April 22, he was barely 2 months old. I loved him like my own child, even though I am only a 15 year old. He was really playful and loving. He would cuddle with you when he was in the mood to. I remember last week him and my dad were sleeping in his recliner, (we called him baby) baby was sleeping on my dads shoulder. It was the cutest thing. That night I found out he died, I cried a lot. I dug a hole in my backyard near my blueberry plants an buried him there. I miss him so much I don’t know what to do. I come home waiting to see him run up to me, to greet me, whenever I walk through the front door

  • Berry Love

    Mr Boss died last night, he was close to 19 years old. My wife and daughter rescued him from our local pound when he was a kitten. He lived a long and active life, and was joined by a walkup orange cat we named Reba McIntyre about 2 years ago. He was an outside cat that was truly the Boss of the yard. I buried him this morning in our garden will put appropriate markings when I have time. RIP Mr Boss.

  • Brian Mac

    12 years ago I met my best friend. As the clerk was putting boat parts I bought into a box a kitten jumped up onto the counter and climbed inside the box. I took him out and back in he went. The clerk told me he was a stray kitten and they were feeding and allowing him to sleep in their workshop at night due to the poor weather and his young age. They also said they hoped someone would want him. That was it I brought him home with me that day. Not a day went by that he was not with me when I woke in the morning or at the door to greet me after a long day at work. He knew when I was down and would just sit quietly with me or get excited when I did. If I was sick he would lay at the foot of bed all day never leaving me. In return I would bring him out in the yard and “bait” the birds with bread so he could slither up close to watch them eat. He had no front claws so he was unable to climb trees, so I would lift him into the tree so he could watch the squirrels more closely. However, a few weeks ago his health declined due to kidney failure. The vet said there was very little they could do other than some comfort measures. So I medicated, hydrated and feed him several times a day for the past 2 weeks (I knew he would do it for me). Although he had a fair amount of bad hours he still had the desire to cuddle, purr and play in the yard. Unfortunately, last night he declined substantially. I knew on our way to the doctor the outcome would not be good. I felt his pain came to the point where it outweighed his ability to tolerate and would take away any pleasure for him. I sat and held him while he very peacefully passed on without any more hurting. Today is a very sad day. He was truly my best friend. I love my baby boy Ninja and I will never forget that HE CHOSE ME to be HIS best friend.

  • Zoanne

    I lost my beloved Lucky three days ago. She was in kidney failure and I had to let her go. She was my dear companion and the house is really empty without her. I keep thinking about seeing her and having her with me and I think my heart will break.

    • eric

      I know exactly how you feel. I lost my cat duchess in January of this year. she was 22 years old I miss her dearly and am still missing her every day. I’m so alone without my friend.

      • Zoanne

        That is what I am struggling with. The house is so empty without her and sleeping without her is especially hard. Thank you for your comment. It does help.

    • Ana

      I know the feeling. It is nice to have animals around;they are the best friends to have. They are a huge commitment so I don’t know if I will get another. I had mine for 17 years. He was worth but we’ll see. I watch my dad’s dog once a week and she is a sweetie.

  • Jess

    My beloved cat Wicca ( male, bengal ) has died, after about 1 week of putting up missing signs and asking people if they have seen him, my mum and dad found him dead behind our garden fence while gardening. As soon as I heard the news that my precious beautiful baby boy had passed I ( female,13) began screaming, crying and almost fainted because of shock. For the first time I couldn’t actually pick him up ( he was naturally a skinny cat ) because of how stiff his body was. We buried him in a soft blue blanket with his favourite cuddly bunny. I stayed outside and decorated his grave with petals and flowers I bought with my pocket money from a shop nearby. It has only been a day and I, my family, his brother ( Salem) miss him dearly. I cannot stop crying and miss his large green eyes and soft golden fur. I am trying to get over this loss but it seems impossible….

  • Rosanne

    I had to euthonize my 18 year old male cat Bobby yesterday. Words cannot explain the pain I am feelings but I know it was for the best. He was in renal failure and his bladder gave out and he was going blind. I did not want my fur baby to suffer any more so I made the toughest decision I had to make in my life. It was just me and him for 18 years. My house feels so cold and empty without him. I know in time the memories I have of him will not bring me to a total mess of tears. I knew this day was coming but I did not know it would hurt this bad. RIP Bobby….

    • Tracy

      I’m so sorry to hear of your loss Rosanne. Your story about Bobby struck such a chord with me as I too had to say the saddest goodbye to my 18 year old cat Frasier on 12th April. He was my sole companion too, having been there for me during the loss of my parents, his brother Niles and the end of a long relationship. He was my world, and I miss him so much. You’re not alone Rosanne, please remember that. We’re all going through this together. Take care.

    • Ana


      My cat as 17.5 and I just had to do the same. It was and him together and that is a long time. I hope the sadness is not going to get worse. I was in shock the first 3 days and tomorrow is the 4th. I am ready to rest. I gave him my all, didn’t travel much, until recently and that wasn’t good. But gave him a really good life for 17 years. I wish it could have been three more. I know there s no lacking for the sadness; true love. xo

  • Rosalie

    My beautiful girl, was put to rest 3 days ago, I was not expecting that outcome when I took her to the vet, I was expecting her to come back home with me. She gave us 17 wonderful years I miss her cuddles and her purrs, (she had been a rescue cat badly treated by her previous owner, expecting kittens she came here and her kittens went to new homes it took her a long time to trust, and was the most WONDERFUL girl ever) I brought her home and she lay in bed with me for the last time, and I miss her more than anything, to me she was my life, my love, my wonderful companion what can I do without her beside me. I miss her so much.

    • Erin

      I feel your pain. I took my 14 year old beauty to the vet and fully expected her to come home. I had to make the toughest decision to put her down. I really was not prepared for how upset I am. I have not stopped in 3 days. My poor baby had such a tough life before I took her in 5 years ago. The guilt I feel is enormous. I wish I had more time with her. I’m devastated. Thanks for sharing.

  • Kelly

    I lost my beautiful burmese boy this morning. He was hit by a car. The neighbor found him so i didnt actually see him thank god. I feel terribly guilty for letting him be an indoor/outdoor cat and just heartbroken that he had such a short life and me and my kids will never see him again. He was only about 1 and a half. I loved him, he was the most affectionate, playful cat Ive ever had and so beautiful

    • Sherri Hester

      Sorry for your loss.. I’m dealing with the same thing now. We found a black kitten, only 2 or 3 weeks old behind walmart thathe had been thrown out. He didn’t have his eyes open all the way yet. Me and my son nursed him back to health, bottle fed him, and all. We even found out when his eyes opened good that he was actually missing his left eye. He was one of a kind!! My son(age 8) named him Nugget! He use to play fight with us all the time. My hands would be scratched all the time but I knew he didn’t mean it. He would sleep with us at night and anytime during the day when i laid down. He loved his food and he loved to play with my lazer light. My son had gotten very close the Nugget. He would meet us at the door every day and was the spotlight of the house! He was only 9 months old when he was ran over by a car and killed instantly. Which happened yesterday morning. Keep in mind we live on a 5MPh road and at a stop sign!! We never got to say goodbye… my son is very very hurt and so am I. I really don’t know if we can get past losing him. Our house feels so empty and dead, that I just can’t bear not having him around. I’m so lost. I just don’t understand. I’m angry….

  • Susan Van Der Merwe

    I have just had to put my darling 16 year old kitty to sleep. I ‘m experiencing waves of grief and floods of tears ,I sometimes it feels like I can’t breathe. My home feels empty now and everywhere I look reminds me of her. I am glad to have read this article as I know I cant stay in this state of mind. But I miss her so. My husband started putting everything Minnie (her name) away, but I stopped him. His way of coping is to remove all evidence, I am completely the opposite. I want time to process this monumental change in my life, not erase her as though she never happened. I’m not doubting he is grieving also, just in a very differnt way to me. Well thank you for this article, even writing this has helped. Thank you

    • Susan Van Der Merwe

      I so feel your pain. I think as the article states to get understanding friends who’ll allow you to cry when you need to. I will pray that you will be comforted. We both have a walk to walk adjusting.

    • suzanne

      Barb my heart goes out to you.There is so much pain, I hope u have a support system-let them in. My cat died Easter eve after a tortuous few days and nights.She was my constant companion–I can relate to what you are feeling. Take it a day at a time

  • Eva

    My kitten, Autumn died recently. Everyone in my family has got over it but I still cry quite a bit. He was always so happy never ill but my dad always says cat should go out at night so they do. Then for a while, we couldn’t find him, we thought he was fine but then the neighbours said there was a dead cat over where they lived. They were kind enough to let us in to see if it was him, I knew it was but I couldn’t admit it to myself. When you see the cat you spent so much time with lifeless, it’s really hard. He was nearly three and still had so much to live for and I keep thinking it is my fault sorry if I sound stupid.

  • Sally

    I lost my beautiful cat, Bubbooki, last week on the 11th of April to a tumor on his tongue. When we first discovered the tumor, the vet told us that surgery on his tongue was not ideal and that since he was an old cat, all we could do was help him transition peacefully with medication until he were to get worse. About a couple of months after the medication, the tumor had increased in size leaving his tongue pushed to the side of his mouth. He was still mobile, eating and affectionate, however we could tell his condition was getting worse leaving him uncomfortable and very thin. We made a trip to the vet where she told us it would probably be best to pick a date within the week to say goodbye. As hard as it was, at the end of the day, we knew it was for the best. Our handsome Bubbooki was able to go to sleep without living to the point of suffering. Although, at times I feel guilty for taking his life away, I know it would of been selfish of me to keep him going any longer. Bubbooki was put to sleep that Wednesday afternoon, so calm and loving, with his head in my hands. He would have been 16 years old this year so he did live quite a long, amazing and love-filled life. I will never forget all the memories that he was able to share with me and I really hope he is resting in peace. Bubbooki I love you forever and I will miss you so so much❤️

  • Sam

    I just lost my cat sky this morning We came home from Easter vacation last night and everything seemed fine including sky. About 5 minutes later he started to make this scared meowing sound so we all ran into the hallway. He started throwing up white foam and panting so we took him to the emergency Vet right away. They immediately put him on oxygen and he started to stabilize. We left him there overnight after petting him and telling him we love him and we would see him in the morning the doctors called early in the morning saying he was doing much better and they found that there was an abscess in his chest and they drained it so things were looking up. A few hours later the doctors called again saying he had a another panting episode and we should come in case anything happens. We got there about 20 minutes later and the doctors had already put him under anesthesia to prevent him from going into cardiac arrest because he had a worse panting episode They said he would not recover since the infection from the abscess got into his blood. Our only options were to put him to sleep while he was under or to try to have him come to risking putting him in cardiac arrest to say goodbye while he was awake causing him more pain then putting him to sleep. We made the decision to put him to sleep while he was under so he could go peacefully. Sky was the nicest cat I have ever met and was always so friendly and nice to everyone and everything. He would follow you around everywhere. He would even try to follow me when I took the dog on a walk. I can’t explain how much I miss him. He was only about 10 and I don’t feel like it was his time to go and can’t really accept what happened. He was so funny too. He would find papers in my room and carry them downstairs and I would find papers scattered all around the house! He also used to chase his tail and would actually go up to my huge dog and started purring and rubbing up against him. I don’t know how I will get over this. It just all happened so fast and I feel like I should wake up and he will be there. I have other cats and the one that he always hung out with seems sad and keeps meowing so I know he missed him too. I have been in a bad place recently and this just made it all so much worse. I love you sky and Ipray that you are happy ❤.

    • Ana

      Wow what a cat. Mine would just try to race me into the other room to eat and get under my feet. They are loving souls. It is so traumatic when these things happen, kind of in shock and harder if already going through something. xo

  • maria

    i lost my three kittens in one year iam very sad.i thought iam unlucky for cats.i never adopt a cat always i found kitten at my home .i dnt knw where form they comes.first of all i found white kitten she lives with me some weeks then she died then i found a black cat same thing happend. then i found orange kitten she was very beautiful 5 weeks old kitten i took care soo much but same thing happend she became sick and i lost her today.i think iam unlucky for cats iam feling very bad and very depressed .why this always happend to me why

    • Nicolas

      Dear Maria
      My lovely cat killed on 06 April 2017, and it affect me as much I’m as losing a part from my body. I became very sad and I’m crying until date.
      Please I need your advise
      I’m from Lebanon
      Your kind advice and assistance are highly appreciated.
      Best regards
      Mobile number: 009613274891

  • Derik

    I lost my Casper back in 2014. My China helped me cope through the terrible loss. It was difficult, but we got through it. Even she missed him. She would meow every time I left the apartment after he died, because she was alone. It was heart breaking. But every time I came home, she was there and we would cuddle and mourn our loss.

    Then China passed from kidney failure (by the way Casper was 17 and China was 19). There is nobody here to help me through China’s loss. It is just me and this lifeless lonely apartment. It has been 3 months and I can’t seem to get over her. She was my best friend, my everything. It is so incredibly difficult dealing with life without her.

  • Lekha

    I lost my princess last night in the worst way that a cat can go.She jumped out of the window and was attaked by a street dog. It was dark and I could only hear the struggle and her last cry.By the time I got to her it was too late and seeing her lifeless just broke my heart. I tried to sleep but could only remember her lying there covered in blood and I can’t stop crying.I am very depressed and every corner of the house reminds me of her. Maybe the pain would ease out with time but I am completely heartbroken right now. She wold have been 1 year old in a month and I don’t know how to cope with it

    • Donna Webber

      I’m so sorry to hear what happened to your dear cat. I lost my little boy in a RV fire the day after Christmas. The pain of thinking about him not being able to breathe just saw this kills me everyday, seriously there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of him. I’m glad I found your post it sounds like you too have had to deal with the same pain as I. My heart goes out to you.

    • Hanzalah

      I’m so sorry for your loss I feel the same way my cat was sitting on a ledge enjoying herself in the sun and a bird came my cat went to catch the bird and fell off the ledge and landed in the neighbours yard were the dogs attacked her we rushed her to the vet and the vet put her on dripps but sadly she couldn’t make it this happend on the 13 of April 2017 my cat was everything to me and I’m still in tears right up to this day

  • Eugenia

    My 14 yrs old beautiful cat Nina died on April 6th 2017. I saw her died, every corner of my house reminds me of her, her favorite spot, where her food used to be. The night she died I asked my son to get rid of her litter box, her bed and everything that will remind me of her. I think of her and all the good times we spend togetter and I feel tears running down my face, I just can’t stop crying. I could hear her unique meaowing she was like talking to me. She was one of a kind. I know is going to take some time to heal but after reading all this beautiful memories of your beloved cats makes me feel that I’m not alone griving my cat.

    • Ana

      I agree it does help to know how much these little creatures are adored. It’s sometimes harder than than when a person does because they are so dependent and innocent. I read recently that animals have no judgement and go to heaven.

  • Rosemary

    Last November, 2016, I lost my beloved cat Pierro.
    He was only 9.
    I miss him horribly. He was the most adorable kitty ever.
    I used to have a fun blog, thecornishkitties.blogspot.com
    Or. Google Pierro and Miles Happy Place
    My heart is broken

    • Randy Maurer

      Sorry about Pierro. I’ve never seen the blog before and it made me smile. I just lost my 12 year old Cornish Rex Mr. Miu. Your Pierro looked a little like Mr. Miu. My guy had more grey but very similar. Its only been two days since he died and I an very sad. There is something about this breed that’s not just right … they cling to your heart as much as the do your lap.

  • Patricia A Erickson

    This evening is the last time I will be able to hold and cuddle my cat Mystic. She is the most loving cat I have ever had. I adopted her 4 years ago. Her human mother just died and she was put up for adoption. When I saw her it was love at first sight.
    Some people think Siamese cats don’t make good pets. Mystic is sweet and loving. She looks directly into my eyes and let’s me know how much she loves me. Mystic is 15 years old and about 2 weeks ago she stopped eating. I tried everything. And then I called the vet. I have a house call vet so he came to us. He did some tests and called me back the next day to let me know that her kidney is working. It was end stage kidney failure. I was devastated, but the next week she had deteriorated. At this point I had to make the agonizing decision to euthinze her. The vet will come to the house for the procedure. I know it is the right thing because she is not eating or urinating. Her system is shutting down. I have spent the last two days holding and sleeping with her. I know this is the right decision. Tonight will be our last time together. I do not want the sin to rise, but it will. And she will cease to exist and I will be broken hearted. I will bury her in the hills behind house. Sweet Mystic I will miss you.

    • Ana

      I just did the same thing. Having the chance to to say goodbye it wonderful but can be harder sometimes. You just want one more then one more. My brother took the dog a few years back and my neices never got to say goodbye. He said they would have never let him go. Hard either way.I like saying good bye. I held him for two nights as well and in the morning, I was happy he was still there.

  • Gabi Lehman

    On Friday march 31st 2017 my baby girl Georgie Porgie looked really sick whenever I came home from track practice. Her eyes were squinty like she was mad and she wouldn’t eat any of the treats I had out infront of her. She drank a lot of water though. I thought maybe she had a cold or ate something that wasn’t digesting. So when my mom came home she decided that we should take her to the emergency pet vet after my birthday dinner. When we got there they ran a lot of tests and their office cat even came in to say hi to us. When the doc came back in she said my cat had Chronic Kidney Failure. After she said everything she had to say I asked what all of that meant and my parents said basically that our beloved Georgie Porgie is dying. I thought I was going to be able to take my kitty kat back home with me that she was gonna get medicine to feel better and go back to being my cuddly cute cat, but I was really blind sided. My cat showed all th signs of CKF a bad fur coat (we thought she wasn’t cleaning herself because she was a fat kitty), she lost weight (we thought it was because we put her on a new diet to help her lose weight) she slept in my bathroom (we thought it was because I left water up there for them and she was too lazy to go downstairs to drink water) she peed outside the litter box (we thought she was marking her territory because we had just recently brought in another kitten and she doesn’t like other kitties) so all her signs had an explanation but we just didn’t catch on to it and now my baby girl is gone and I don’t have my cuddle bud anymore I don’t have her to hold against the window to show her the birds. I don’t have her to brush. I don’t have her to rub her face on my face. I don’t have her laying on my head while I sleep at night. I don’t have her waiting for me on the couch for me to come home.

  • John Siefen

    March 26, 2017 at 7am on Sunday morning, my best animal friend ever died from CHF.
    Mister Reno was a one in a million cat. He was like my son.
    I rescued him from an animal shelter in 2002.
    Since I retired 10 years ago, we have been together 24/7.
    I’m going through all the first time without him now things, that he and I did
    together for so long.
    It’s hard to accept he’s really gone.
    He would have wanted me to go on. He didn’t want to leave, his old body
    let him down.
    He was never sick a day in his life until his heart problem.
    He was 75 human years old.
    We had a great life together.

  • Lisa

    Friday, my husband and I had to euthanize our beloved Bashan, a 15.5 year old Birman – our baby boy. He finally succumbed to kidney failure. I am devastated. I can’t do anything except cry. I do have two other babies – two Maine Coons – Aysia and Sundarian. I’m trying to be attentive to them, but I am having a hard time doing anything. I’m emotionally exhausted. I miss Bashan so much! I want him back!

    • Sandra

      My heart, my Frederico is gone forever. I saw him last on Friday morning and I couldn’t find him after that. I kept calling and calling him at my patio all afternoon and night and he never came. He was a neighborhood cat that became my cat and so I named him Frederico because he looked like a Latin lover. Well, I went outside one more time to call him and noticed him laying on my metal shelf where I keep my garden tools. I thought he was just napping, but he was lifeless. I was horrified. I really wish I didn’t find him like that. He looked HORRIBLE. I think he got hit by a car or had some other kind of accident that caused him to bleed out on his leg. He was hunched over with his eyes still open. No way for his momma to find him. :o( My poor baby. I will never know what happened or how badly he suffered. He had the best meow, too. He knew how to talk to me. I will miss his adorable meow and him forever. I feel everyone’s pain here and I’m sorry we have to lose our beloved pets. They can never be replaced.

  • Sarah

    I am heartbroken. We just lost my beautiful cat, Fleur yesterday. 10 1/2 years ago she was rescued off the street. We just loved her so much and were hoping to have her for many more years. But she became sick. We were hoping it was a bacterial infection or a bad tooth. But sadly, she had multiple problems, the worst being an inoperable mass, possibly cancer. She was put to sleep in my arms yesterday. Each pet is so special and unique. She wouldn’t even kill bugs. I always knew if there was a scary bug around. Fleur would stare at the rug and bat at them. I also can’t sleep well now- she used to sleep on the pillow next to me. Then there is that awful empty energy in the house when a loved one is lost- like a nauseating silence. Also my father passed away last summer plus two of my sisters had a dog pass away recently. I’ve seen this happen to many- lose a loved human then a loved pet.

  • Vicky

    I lost my 15 year old cat in last October due to kidney problem. I could not get over in later three months. Unfortunately I also lost another 11 year old cat on Mar 13 because of heart disease. Both were euthanasia as veterinarians suggested . Those happened within 5 months. My heart is broken. I can’t stop blaming myself and crying. The only thing I want to do is to stay quiet. I know I can do nothing to get them back. But I do not know what to believe. I tried my best to give them the best life and long life. I failed. Where are they right now? Are they okay without me? Are they cold at night? Is the spirit real?…. I know I should cheer up and go on. But I do not know how.:(

    • Carolyn

      I had to have my almost 20 year old cat put to sleep March 28. His name was Chip and he had such a sweet spirit. My heart is broken. I just purchased the Willow Tree angel holding a cat that I am going to put next to his ashes. The vet also made a little print of hi paw in clay and I put a piece of catnip and flowers in his favorite water mug. I would suggest making a memorial for your kitties and remembering the love they gave you and you gave them. Back in 2007 I had to have my 19 year old cat put down and 5 months later my 17 year old dog. I was a mess. There was a poem on the wall at the vets that said “You will love again,” and I did. My dog I adopted 3 months later in 2008 is laying with me now.

  • Danie Brink

    My cat (the first pet I’ve ever had) died last night from a pleural effusion. He was only 7 years old and we took him to the vet when we noticed he was using his abdominal muscles to breath. Otherwise he was fine. He was an anxious cat and he started to become extremely distressed. He started breathing with his mouth open and coughing up slime. We took him to a nearby animal hospital where they took x-rays and we discovered that his heart is extremely enlarged. They said they could try to treat him overnight and see how he is in the morning. He died choking on his own blood and fluid just 4 hours later.

    I didn’t expect it.. I thought he just had a lung infection like bronchitis or pneumonia. He was fine before we took him to the vet. I wasn’t prepared for any of this… I can’t stop crying. I feel like I killed him by not going to the vet earlier. I feel like I set off his anxiety which led to a rapid deterioration of his condition. I wasn’t even there when he passed. I just saw his lifeless body lying there with his eyes open and his open mouth, blue because he couldn’t get enough oxygen. I’m really struggling not to obsess over it, but he really was the best cat in the world to me.

    • Mark

      I’m so sorry for your loss. Reading your story you did all you could and took him to the vets as soon as you saw a problem. I’m only a couple of days after my cat died after her heart gave out after an operation and seeing her eyes open wasn’t good. Again I say you did all you could so talk to your cats spirit and tell him how you feel and invite him to sit on your lap

    • Alan

      Don’t feel guilty. There was no way you could save him. I am a physician (for humans) and lost my cat last Saturday due to heart failure. I am heart broken. He also had pneumonia and a massive pleural effusion. We tapped the pleural space and drew out half a coke can of fluid. We administered antibiotics and steroids. And even though Caesar breathed easier, the cascade of medical deterioration proceeded regardless. Humans have tremendous compensatory mechanisms and physiological buffers, cats do not. In fact, they mask their symptoms so as not to look weak in the wild until the last days of their lives. While you may not understand your cat’s death, believe it or not, he did. He knew and accepted his pending death. You can as well -knowing you loved him and did the best for him when he was healthy and sick.

    • Diana

      I’m so sorry for your loss. I had a similar situation. I had to put my darling cat Banjo to sleep last week. He was diagnosed with heart failure three months ago . He was only 5 years old. The vet gave him 3 months to less than a year. I am heart broken and can’t stop crying. He was such a handsome special quirky boy and I loved him like my child. I don’t have children so he meant the world to me. I have his mother I adopted them together . She is grieving too. The three of us spent all our time together .he was fine in the morninfg he had an appetite up to the end. He was in the sunshine in the morning then he went outside in the afternoon. At approximately 4 pm be came I through the cat flap mouth open coughing up liquid and blood and distressed and I knew the moment had come. There was a delay as my usual vets day off . The other vet came to the house and said it would be bette to take him to the surgery, more delaying I knew there was nothing to be done but clung to hope so agreed. I delayed putting him out of his misery . When a second vet saw him it was agreed that even draining the fluid would onylu be temporary so it took three injections to put Bon to sleep. I still don’t know why it too.k three. I feel so guilty that I did not insist that he was euthanised at home and saving us both all that distress. I miss him so much.

      • Ana

        I know it’s so hard to want to try and make our cats better, even if we are not sure. and when under stress from them being sick it’s even harder to think and we sometimes know better than the vet what we need to do or don’t do. That’s what i learned. I think one injection might relax them. xo

  • Anirudh

    My 3 month old kitten died today. It was a stray kitten and we used to take care of it. We still have her elder brother and mother with us. It was amidst my exams that she started playing and going outside the house as she was growing. I would always have an eye on from her time to time, no matter I had an exam the next day or day after. But the last few days, I fell sick. I have asthma problem so I couldn’t always look after her. Having not seen her yesterday, the first thing I did today morning after waking up was to look for her. Unfortunately, I found her dead body. It feels really sad, I’ve lost hope in life. But this thread makes me realise that there are others going through similar situations. Thanks for building this community. I’ll certainly take time to get over it, but I’ll never forget her in my life.

    • Jim

      Sorry to hear about your loss. Yours caught my eye because your kitty was so young. We just lost our young cat (of less than a year old) yesterday. He didn’t cuddle with us in bed the night before, so we started worrying yesterday morning. I saw him lying on the floor and, at first, felt relief. When I walked up and said “hey buddy” and reached down to pet him, I realized he had passed at some point the night before. No signs of distress. Our best conclusion is that he passed from cardiomyopathy…he was young and playful and energetic, and his heart apparently just stopped. The suddenness of losing a young cat is what is difficult to accept. Even though the sense of loss may never go away, I certainly hope you are feeling less distressed. I know it will take our family awhile 🙁

      • Anirudh

        My heartfelt condolences to you. I know it’s quite sad because those tiny beings had hardly lived life on this planet before they were taken away. Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. I do get memories of my kitten, but you know what-it actually motivates me to work hard. I feel that’s how we can show love to them as I am pretty sure they only wish our best and want us to do well in life. So let us show them our love by being happy.

  • Mark

    My cat, Gemma died yesterday at 14. She started loosing weight so I took her to the vets Monday who could feel a lump on her kidney as could I when he showed me. She had surgery yesterday and they removed the tumor as it turned out ok and she came round and seemed ok but then her heart gave out and they had to breath for her. Me and my son went down to the vets and after talking to them decided to put her to sleep. A 48 year old bloke who runs 100 miles nonstop in less than 24 hours for fun crying his eyes out shows how tough but how much she meant to me, my 23 year old son cried as well. Gemma was a real nervous cat who never went out and just wanted to cuddle and sit on us and was a person as far as we are concerned and I’m numb atm

    • Sam

      My heart goes out to you both x stay strong and assured u did teh right for Gemma. As I feel for my Millie… somewhere over the rainbow they play the day away looking down on us and smiling on us …x

    • Anirudh

      May your cat’s soul rest in peace. My heartfelt condolences to you. My kitten died today and even I feel devastated. Let us hope that all our beautiful cats and kittens are playing together in heaven, having an angel look after them.

      • Mark

        Thank you Anirudh and my deepest condolences to you on the loss of your kitten. I’ve just read your story and it’s so sad

  • Betty

    My sweet 18-year-old cat Tiger was put to sleep yesterday afternoon. She developed cancer and kidney disease over a year ago. In recent months it got worse. The grief I feel is overwhelming. I lost my 14-year marriage 9 months ago, which left me devastated, and the loss of Tiger has reopened those wounds as with the loss of my marriage was the loss of that family. Tiger helped heal my broken heart but I almost feel lost in the process to grieve for her and fully move on in my life. I keep thinking she’s around, sleeping somewhere or at her bowl to eat. I miss her so, so very much. Thanks for listening.

  • Logan

    I just lost my cat on Sunday. They were getting ready to give her a bath and send her home from the vet and she collapsed. She had a bunch of backed up poop and that’s why they kept her a night. She had the problem for a few months and each time they just sent her home with antibiotics but that wasn’t the problem. After the second visit with no real results I took her in a 3rd time and that’s when they told me she was backed up with poop. Ill never forgive myself because I feel like I could have pushed the issue with the vets and got the issue worked on earlier. When I took her in I had no idea that was the last time I was gonna see her, I was so busy with work that prior week that I didn’t spend that much time with her either. I feel so terrible that she’s gone and I feel so terrible that I didn’t do more to help her. RIP Misty I’ll always miss you and I’m sorry

  • Loren

    Hi, i am starting to feel overwhelmed by my cat Oscar, he is a tabby shorthair and what i happen to think is on his way to kitty heaven, he is seriously skinny but still purrs when i pat him but it isnt the same, i just want him to know if he dies is that i love him, and for him to promis me that he will wait for me or visit me in dreams, i cant deal with seeing him unhappy or just gazing into nothing, Please someone help :,(

    • Alan

      It may help you to know that your cat knows he’s sick and may pass soon. He is designed to recognize it and accept it, unlike most humans. When you pet him and he purrs he is telling you he loves you. Their instinct is to try and hide their illness so you will definitely see a change in his behavior. As my cat was in his last hours last Saturday he stopped purring. However, when I kissed his head he was able to get out one purr. He passed a few hours later and I was convinced he was more aware of what was going on than I was. He accepted his situation. I suspect Oscar accepts his as well. He is not unhappy, he is preparing himself for his journey.

  • Moo

    I lost my 15 year old cat on Wednesday. I still don’t feel right about putting him down. He wasn’t himself and his Kidney failure was making him so uncomfortable and he couldn’t eat. He kept purring while I held him before he went and it broke my heart. I can’t seem to stop crying over it. I feel heartbroken without him.

    • Kay

      I know the feeling I just lost my cat of two years he had the same thing I am still mourning it breaks my heart because he wanted us to be with him when he passed my poor baby k

    • Alan

      I used to think putting a cat down was morally questionable. However, after experiencing the loss of my second cat last Saturday I no longer feel this way. A 15 year old cat is not going to go into the hospital with a critical illness and come out like a human would. Unlike cats, humans have massive compensatory systems that can extend life even after critical illness if properly treated.But, by the time a cat exhibits critical illness, like the renal failure your cat suffered from, they are already at their physiological “edge”. When you see their behavior change they are literally waiting, without fear, for the end to come. (By the way WE think it’s the “end”, but who is to say? The lack of fear and willing acceptance of death by cats and other animals may indicate they are simply passing through to another stage. Just speculation on my part, but it is supported by my observation of their behavior. My second cat passed last Saturday of a heart attack. He was in my brother’s arms. I realized then I should have put him down a few days earlier and sped his journey to whatever is next. That is what he would have wanted instead of waiting and waiting in a semi-conscious state. You did the right thing.

  • Jumana Pearl

    My cat Nala had to be put down today (10.03.2017) after a long battle with cancer and even though I have lost cats before it’s still very painful for me every time. I lost Maggie last year in June 2016 to cancer of the heart and I have another cat, Lady (whose Maggie’s and Nala’s mum) that I’m just cuddling up with at the moment to comfort her so that she doesn’t feel too sad. I know I have to get on with living my life but the pain I feel right now is just terrible. I can’t stop crying today and just when I thought I couldn’t cry anymore something will come into my mind to make me sad and I will end up crying again… I’m sorry for this I just feeling so sad today…

    • Lindsay

      I’m so sorry you’re going bf through this. I just lost my cat, my baby, on the seventh, we are going through some similar tough times right now. I feel exactly like you, but someone told me today that as per owners, we know that eventually we will have to say goodbye, but we will never be ready for it. You gave Nala a happy, very loved life. It’s so hard to let go, and I know I will never forget my cat, just like you will never forget yours. She is still with you, you just can’t see her.

      • Jumana Pearl

        Thank you Lindsay for your kind words, it really is a sad time but someone once told me that the energy they have doesn’t die it just changes form from physical to pure energy and she was a one in a million cat and just like all the others she will always be in my heart.

    • Jodi

      I understand. My kitty died yesterday. We had her for 18 years. I still have her brother from the same litter. He is looking everywhere for her. You described my feelings perfectly. Hopefully knowing someone understands and is going through it too will help you in some way. **hugs**

  • Mila

    I lost my heart this morning. Pasa, I rescued him when he was a kitten (2 weeks old). I remember feeding him formula with a bottle and burping him as if he was a human baby. He was my first ever pet and I became so attached to him. I remember not wanting to go to class or work because I never wanted to leave his side. Around last week, my mother and I noticed there was something wrong. He wasn’t eating or drinking, threw up constantly and moved around slower than usual. We took him to the vet and they said it was the flu. They gave us antibiotics for 12 days but 3 days of giving him antibiotics it looked like wasn’t getting better, just worse. We took back to the vet and they saw a sewing thread wrapped around his teeth under his tongue and in the X- ray showed that it went through both his intestines and needed surgery to remove it. The hospital called us to tell us that the surgery went okay and that they would hold him till Monday. They called this morning and said he had passed through the healing process overnight.

    To be honest, I haven’t felt a pain like this before. And I don’t think this is a pain I will ever forget. He was too young and there is a part of me thinking it’s my fault for not taking him to the vet sooner, and the other part thinking it’s the vets fault for the misdiagnosis the first time we took him. It’s hard. It really is.

    • Alan

      It’s really awful, Mila. I can understand and feel your pain. Everyone on here can. It’s been over 3 months since my cat died. I started to feel a little better like my mum did, but then the pain comes back again. We miss him so much. I feel guilty too about the ‘what if’s… The guilt and hurt is terrible. But you wasn’t to know and it wasn’t your fault. You have to understand that. I’m sure Pasa would, too. I’m sure he loved you as you did him. We’ve lost other pets in the past, but Oscar’s death is by far the worse. I always made silly noises to him, and I still do, in case he’s around me and I want him to know I miss him and thinking of him constantly, lol :'( Feel like crying now as I type this. Such sadness, it may be of little consolation, but at least you’re not alone in that sense, that everyone else who lost a pet goes through that pain as well. x

  • Leah

    My baby cat tyler died over the weekend. He was an out door type boy who loved jumping out the window (we lived in a ground floor flat) and he would meow to get back in. He went out on Friday night and I was worried but not overly as he has gone out for days before. However on Saturday something felt wrong, I put it down to my anxiety but I couldn’t shake the feeling something was wrong. My sister came over for dinner and she felt it too. Fast forward to Monday morning, still no sign of him. My phone rings but I miss the call. It’s the vets saying they had a cat brought in and to call them back. My boy was microchipped so I knew it was him. I call them back so happy he’d been found expecting to pop in and collect him. I verified he is mine and I felt the need to ask if he was ok. I was never prepared for the answer I recieved. It never crosses my mind that I would hear the words. He’s dead. What!? My whole body went cold, no hold on I must have misheard. I couldn’t believe my beautiful cat was found dead in someone’s garden and they brought him in. I was in shock, tears were streaming down my face before I realised I was crying.
    They told me they suspected it was a car accident but I can go and see him. The rest of the day I was a sobbing mess. My beautiful boy who was only 4 couldn’t possibly be gone. I summoned the courage to say goodbye one last time. Walking to the vets with a heavy heart, both my parents and brother were with me for support. Sitting in the waiting room a lovely staffy was very attentive, I think he knew I was upset. Then the nurse calls me through. I wall into this tiny room with a blanket on the table covered by a towel. Is that him I asked. Yes she said. She warned me that my cat will be cold and rigid and some blood may spill from his mouth. I didn’t care. I held him to my chest and cradled my cat like my baby. He was so cold and rigid. Not the soft fluffy boy I knew. I held him so tight. I told him how much we all loved him. He had a tiny spot of blood on his nose and dirt on his fur but he could have been sleeping. He was curled up like he does when he sleeps. I didn’t want to let him go. It was agony laying him down for the last time. I kissed his face and said goodbye. We made cremation arrangements and that was it. I walked out so empty. My cat was always there, when I walked down the road he would walk me down to the end of the road. On my way home he would hear me walking and meow at me, run over to me and wed walk home together. I’d let him in the front door and he’d put him paw on the door as if to say hurry up mum I want dinner. Every day I’d find my cat stretched out on my double bed like a king. He was so affectionate and loving. He’d sleep on my daughters bed when she was here. He was a constant feature in my life. I am beyond heart broken. I cannot stop crying. I feel guilty. I took him for granted. If I’d have know he would have been so cruelly snatched from me, I would never have pushed him off the bed for waking me up early in the morning. I’d never have moaned at him for scratching the sofa. I would have held him tight and probably never would have let go. I am so angry that someone hit him with a car and just drove off. I am so grateful for the people who did bring him to the vets. And what hurts me the most is he couldn’t have died on impact. He was in someone’s garden. He must have been hit and walked/ran/crawled to safety where he laid down cold in pain and alone. That’s the most agonizing part. I wish I could have been there when my cat needed me. When he was in pain and alone. That silly cat changed my life. He was there when no one else was. He knew just when I needed cuddles or cheering up. The pain I feel right now I have never felt before in my life. My cat was my little fur son and now he’s gone. There’s a massive gaping hole in my heart and I honestly have no idea how I will ever get over him. I am not a cryer at all. I very rarely cry but here I am sobbing like a baby and have been for days.

    Please excuse my rambling but writing it all down does actually help. Thanks for reading and rest in peace my little lion.

    • Alan

      Hi Leah. I’m really sorry for your loss. I feel your pain. Like most of us do on here. It’s horrible to lose a pet, but even more so when you know that they’ve suffered before they died. It’s heart breaking. Such an empty feeling. Like a sensation in the middle of your chest. Our little cat died 3 months ago, and it still hurts and hard to believe at times he’s gone. It’s awful and hard to believe it’s been a few months already! He was only 9, and knew there would come a time when he’d die, but I always hoped/thought that that pain of his death wouldn’t be for at least another 5 or 6 years at least. Even 10! I miss him terribly and his little habits and traits etc. It’s so sad carrying on with him. x

    • JC

      I just wanted to thank you Leah for your wonderful post, your cat had similar behavioural traits to my cat BJ (Black Jack). Yesterday (23.3.17) my 11 year old cat BJ died. He stopped eating two weeks ago which is the strangest thing for him, since he eats everything in sight. He had symptoms of a cold which the vet verified. Then yesterday my Mum takes him back and they say that he has a tumour in his mouth that was reducing his breathing, which was now growing into his nose. Plus the cold (blocked nose) was making it even harder for him to breathe..the vet said that basically he was suffering. My Mum had to make the saddest decision to euthanise him. I am currently overseas, so by the time I woke up,saw the missed call and realised, it was already too late. Some people may think it’s strange but I never cried when my Father died , but with BJ gone I am literally in pieces.
      I have had so much bad stuff happen within my life, and he has always been my silent supporter/comforter. He always sensed if you were upset, and nudge you with his head, until you gave up, and let him in sit on your lap. He would cry at the front door at 5.55pm, and run outside, and by 6.00pm he would be back with my Mum. He used to wait for her car to park, and then walk with her back to the house. We bought him a nice soft bed, and he refused to sleep on it once he watched a friend of mine (who he disliked) rub his hand all over it. He ran over, sniffed it and never sat on it again. He then started sleeping in cardboard boxes, or on the bloody newspaper that you were still trying to read!
      If you were late coming home, and he was waiting outside. He would place his paw on the door and run straight upstairs and stand triumphantly at the top yowling at you, like he’s trying to tell you off or something. We tried to put a collar on him a few times, and he broke every single one, so we gave up in the end, but everyone in our area knew he was our cat, because he would walk into people’s houses, since he was so friendly. I have put him on my screensaver, so that when I want a quick look at him I can..mind you watching videos of him wandering about just kills me right now.
      Sorry for going on, just still a bit shocked to be going through this right now.
      So thanks to this website and for the people who sent in posts, as morbid as it sounds (but it’s not the intention), it’s comforting to know that there are people around the World who knows what this pain feels like and understands it. I am lucky that 23 years out of my 29 year lifetime I have had two perfect cats Hayley and BJ, and with them both gone, I don’t want anymore pets. Maybe if I start a family I may reconsider, but at present, I can’t imagine another replacement…they were enough for me.
      RIEP Hayley & BJ

  • Lesley

    My Cat, Tiger, died several weeks ago. I am completely devastated. He became sick very suddenly – stopped eating, and we took him to the vet. We live remotely and the vet couldn’t tell what was wrong and referred us to a city clinic. The initial tests didn’t show conclusively and so no vet was willing to being treatment. They did say they suspected cancer. They did an operation and put a feeding tub in. They kept him in the hospital for a week as I had to go away for work and my husband was coping alone at home with our son who has special needs. Tiger came home 2 days before I was due home. The cancer was too widespread. My husband slept in the living room with him, fed him through the feeding tubes but on his last day, wakened to find Tiger cold and shivering. Vet said he was no longer aware of what was going on, his body had given up. I am so guilty and so sorry that we put you through those tests and that operation Tiger. We hoped we could desperately do something to make you better. We have 7 other cats, and although I take some comfort from then, I am completely distraught by what happened. I didn’t get to say goodby either.

    • Chris

      You did what you thought was best for your baby, with the limited knowledge you had. Even the vets didn’t know what was wrong. And best of all, you took him home for a couple days where he was completely babied by your loving husband. Tiger knew you loved him and you were trying to save him. Rest in Peace, Tiger, and you know you did the right thing out of your deep love for him.

  • enyd

    I lost my lovely cat Ashley.She was only few months old.She loved and trusted me. She was so very very dear to me. I am still devastated and unable to talk about the cause of her death. I long for a home with a very large garden. That way I can have a small kitten and together we can run and tumble and perhaps invite my three rambunctious dogs and totally merrily enjoy the late summer early evening. Ah… my Ashleigh…I hope to see you again.

  • keethu

    Today i lost my cat meenu…he was only 2 years old but he was very much attached only with me…i found him when he was 2 weeks old nd i treated him as my kid and takes care of him everyday…As i was a lonely kid yet i found my meenu but after that my life changed a lot and my day was so comfortable wth laughter whenever i am with him..he wants me to stay with him every second thats much he loves me and i loves him…i can able to feel a tight bond of pure love whenever i see his eyes…words cant describe that how much i loved him…he always wants to sit in my lap and likes to play with me a lot…he likes pedigree a lot nd asks me to feed him by sitting near the pedigree bottle that much he have a talent…i was not seen this type of cat before with so much talent..we both likes to take selfies…But now everything was just a memories to treasure..i missed him a lot and i am returned back to my dark life…finally i saw him died by stuck in between two walls today…this was one of the most painfull day in my life…i cant able to do anything but staring my little angel’s photo nd thinking about him badly…i have no hope that i will recover from this great sorrow but one day i will meet him in the heaven by welcoming me 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁

    • Alan

      Really sorry for your loss 🙁 It’s such an awful feeling. I keep looking at my little cat’s photos too and it’s so sad. Hopefully we will see them again one day! 🙂

  • Herea "rea"

    My cat Sheba celebrated her 17th birthday on January 1 2017 and she died January 9 2017.I got her when she was 18 months old and loved her so much that her passing is affecting my health and ability to function and do normal things at home without breaking into deep grief and depression.I don’t want to feel this gloom anymore and wish I will have a way of easing the pain which is almost unbearable sometimes I could hardly breath.She was a dsh tortoiseshell with white in the tummy area shape like a bikini.She has tortitude as many describes her,intense, unpredictable,protective of me, choosy with whom she befriends, sometimes nasty as she used to try to kill my arms and loves music.When I play instrumental music especially Where Do I Begin (Love Story) she closes her eyes as if she savors the sweetness of the music.When I’m browsing the internet she will sit on my lap and she loves me to sing I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You.When I stop singing she will meow and touch my face if she wants me to sing more for her.I missed my baby so much I can’t stop crying even now.

  • Mary W.

    February 16th I lost my beautiful blue eyed fluffy Siamese mixed cat, Sirach, to kidney failure. He was diagnosed last April and he was very, very close to death, but with the help of my veterinarian and vet tech we got him stabilized. He needed fluids, and medications which were a few uncomfortable minutes of the day, but he was still very much his dignified, happy, sweet natured, mischievous self. He went down hill in November, with anemia coming on and we added more medicines which he bore well, but I saw him getting much weaker and thinner. He had little appetite and he began hiding when he knew he was getting medicines or fluids. Thankfully, he was still pretty engaged in life and enjoyed being with us and being brushed and his kitty treats. The week before I made the decision to euthanize he ate almost nothing, wanted to be alone and sort of looked at the wall for minutes on end. He was uncomfortable. He was sitting on my desk, as he so often did, I brushed him and he rubbed his face against mine and he turned from me. I knew that medically there was nothing more I could do. Being a horrid worrier I’d anticipated this moment for a long time, as I knew there was a point when you can’t keep cats in kidney failure going forever. I told him I wouldn’t let him suffer any longer and that I’d meet him again on the other side. I have another cat and a dog and I love them dearly, but Sirach was my closest companion. He followed me to do laundry and make the bed, was the first to greet me at the door when I came home. He was placid and gentle and swished and poofed his tail. He calmed me and brought me joy and laughter for so many years…………these past 10 months or so weren’t easy, he required a lot of coaxing to eat and I think giving the meds and fluids grieved me more than him because when we were done he’d just walk away and generally wait for a treat; I cried a lot after poking him to give fluids. I simply miss him so very much and am so grateful I was able to keep him with me with a good quality of life for so many months. I know the raw grief will eventually pass, but I feel so empty without him. I’ll give more of my time to my other buddies and try to, have to, move on. So, I share your pain and sadness and send prayers and thoughts your way for healing and peace. Thank you for reading, letting the hurt go in words helps a bit……

  • Kendall-x

    My beautiful British blue cat died suddenly while I’ve been away on holiday, he was left with my dad and on the Thursday, the day we went away my dad came home from work to find him by the front door passed out! Can’t get my head around the fact he was fine in the morning and the day before. Just wish I was there when it happened and got to say goodbye 🙁 feel so guilty I love him so much and miss him already

    • Mary W.

      So sorry, I understand how much you must hurt, Cats seem to hide when they are not feeling well. I’m sure the vet told you there was probably little you could do. I know mine was ill and I had to make the decision, but still had the guilt.

  • Melanie Theakston

    Yesterday, 11th Feb 2017 we put our sweet little Meg to sleep. She was 21 years old and we’d had her since she was 8 weeks old. I miss her so much and expected to do so. It hurts so much, just as expected and i will keep thinking of her for the rest of my life but as time goes by i know i will hurt less and less. She was a lovely sweet little cat – the runt of the litter and she outlived our other pets. She never killed any creature except this massive spider in the bath. She was too heavy footed and yet she was so small. She loved cooked chicken, her favourite. She was my cat and never left me alone when i was at home – she slept on my lap, slept on my head and slept under my duvet. Not having her around has left a huge hole in my heart. It will heal with time and life does go on but i wanted to share my story.

    • Dawne Temple

      Your lovely Meg sounds like my beloved Meow Meow who died September 12, 2016 at the age of 17. She also was my constant companion and I still miss her every day. Meg had a wonderful long life with you. Hugs to you as you cope with the loss of your beloved family member.

      • Melanie

        Thank you Dawn for your reply. It’s very comforting to know you’re not alone with your grief. Thank goodness for sites like these. Melanie

    • eric

      Melanie my cat duchess lived till she was 22 years old I had to put her to sleep jan 31st ill never forget her. my place is very empty without her.

  • Antoine

    My 12 year old cat Big Pimpin passed away today while I was at work. I came home found him in my bedroom. It’s the worst feeling in the world. I cried, my momma cried. I knew something was wrong as soon as I walked in the house, because he always greets me at the door. This was the first time he failed to greet me.

  • Cherie

    This morning I lost my best friend….Hemingway…Hemcat…Scoobie. He was only 4 years old and seemed pretty healthy. He was an indoor cat. I got him at 6 weeks old for my son almost 5 years ago. He spent a lot of time with my son and followed me around like a dog. He slept with me, sat with me, listened to me, cried with me and reached out with his paw to touch my face to make me feel better. He offered me companionship that I greatly needed because I am newly retired and have been ill. I looked forward to life because of Hemie. He passed away very quickly and we don’t exactly know why but the Vet thinks it was heart related. I know time helps all grieving but this hurts so much more now

  • eric

    my 22 year old cat duchess died a week ago, I had her put to sleep, I could not be selfish about it. not a day goes by that I don’t think of her, she was my pal my best bud. she was there through all the hard times I had. ive been through a lot of hard times in my life and I must say this is one of the most difficult times for me. still have her food, water, and litter box the same exact way it was the last time she was here. anyways I miss her dearly.

    • denise gorman

      I haven’t slept in my bedroom since Dec 23 when I put to sleep my Charles and I still am missing him so much I feel like I am fighting a bad depression. I’ve lost other pets, but I’ve never been affected so much as the loss of this one. So grateful to have shared time with him, but still grieving so much in my heart

      • eric

        denise, I know how you feel. and time will heal you, but you will never forget. there is not a day that passes that I don’t think about duchess, I miss her a lot. she was my pal.

  • KELLY Almberg

    My cat Princess Lea,yes from Star Wars. she add a brother named Darth Vader, yes Star Wars, when the movie came out. Had Darth, for about 3 months until he got out from the opened window.And died from a car crash. Since then we have had Princess to take care of. for 15 years. Yes very old.
    she died on
    Sunday right after the game. We buried her in the backed yard that night.A long time to have a cat and a friend, even opened the bathroom door when you did not close it all the way
    I miss her already….

    • Joanne

      Our cat, Midnight, moved in with us on Superbowl Sunday 10 years ago. We called it “Mid-iversary” since then. He was only 11, but he had cancer and we had to let him go in December. It’s still hard. I found writing about him and the crazy things he did helped. For example, he liked coffee and would drink it if left where he could reach. I hope the memories of good times bring you comfort.

  • Mirella

    I don’t think I’ll ever get over the pain of missing my cats. I adopted two little kittens – they were brother and sister – 10 years ago. They both cut a virus, and died within a week of each other. This was six months ago and I’m still not ready to get another cat or kitten. Maybe one day I’ll adopt again but right now I still feel the pain of not having my cats around.

    Articles like this do help me cope with the loss of my cats, but nothing will replace actually having them in my home and life.

    • Moe

      I understand everyone’s pain here as I recently lost the cat love of my life. About 10 years ago, after experiencing the loss of 2 members of my family within a month of each other and being very sad, my husband & I went into a pet supply store to pick up some items for our daughter’s cat when I spotted 2 kittens, that were for adoption, wrapped around each other. They were so adorable & precious, it brought a smile to my face . After we left, my husband suggested we adopt them both. I couldn’t believe it because we already had my daughters cat, Sox, at home & I told him that but he said he would do anything to see that smile on my face again so we went back to the store & brought them home. The boy was Chip and soon became a permanent fixture next to my husband & the little girl we named Peep. She was a tiny, sweet, quite little girl , the runt of the litter and never grew much bigger than 6lbs. She became my baby, my precious Peep or Pee Pee as we nicknamed her. She never left my side, she sat with me, slept next to me, followed me around, climbed on my shoulder while I did housework. She was the sweetest baby girl and I had her for almost 10 years. Sadly around Xmas she got a cold & stopped eating. I wasn’t surprised as it had been difficult to get her to eat since day 1 but this persisted & we took her to the vet only to shockingly find out she had incurable cancer and on 01/21/17, I lost my baby girl. I know it’s been over a month but I still can’t believe I’ll never hold her again, have her snuggled up next to me while I sleep. Often at random times I break down & just cry my eyes out. I’m trying but my heart is completely broken. I’ll never find another kitty like her, she was so sweet & loved me as much as I loved her . I’m lost without her & her brother Chip misses her too. I know that I’ll be with her again someday but I can’t stop this pain.

  • Tori

    Tonight I lost my beloved cat Earl. I rescued Earl from the outdoors when he was a kitten, he was the softest orangest little thing and he didn’t stop purring for hours after I found him. hell, I don’t remember him ever not purring in the four years I had him. Earl was my best friend, and helped me through some of the darkest times of my life. The times whereI had nothing, at least I had my Early cat. He was the real reason I kept on going. This morning he was laying in his chair in the dining room, with the sun shining on him keeping his fat fuzzy belly warm. i kissed him on his nose and went about my day. Later around lunch time he lounged in bed next to me and O loved on him for a few minutes. i didn’t know that would be he last time. Tonight he didn’t come home for his can of food around 6 as he always does. My boyfriend had just came back home and I asked if he saw him in the dining room or if he had eaten any of the food. That’s when my boyfriend told me that my kitty was hit by a car in front of the house, and I was 30ft away when it happened and didn’t even know. We buried him in the back yard under a fountain, I couldn’t move for about an hour and I’m still crying. I loved him as if he were my baby.m, he was my guardian angel. I don’t know how I will go on, I don’t want to forget him but it hurts too much to remember. Love you my angel Earl

    • Mary

      I lost my cat last night. I found his two little cute feet a few feet outside my apartment. I search for hours and I was finally brought straight back to the back of my house. The cayotes got him. He was 4. He was outdoor and I was trying to make him indoor. Kept him in for 2 months. He was going nuts. Even though I knew there were wild animals, I just couldn’t see him suffer anymore. For 2 weeks he was so happy and going in and out until he didn’t come back last night. I miss him. I feel guilty for letting him out. And I wasn’t there for him to rescue his fragile little bones that were on his feet. Then I saw a crow eating one of his other feet and ran and got it from him. It now give me some small comfort that he has returned to the nature he always loved. All I can say to him is that I’m sorry. I told him the day I opened that patio door that he will die out there and I’m only forcing him to stay in to save his life. I think I said good bye to him that day unconsciously. I feel horrible. I don’t know if I can ever tell my step son. My husband rescued him and he is devistated too. It’s so hard to see someone you love suffer because of my wrong doing. At the time my husband was not with me and on a mission away. So I had to make all the decisions when I moved. I feel guilty. I was my cat back. This is all a nightmare. Please tell me I will wake up.

  • Aparition42

    Yesterday Nemo the cat was strong, healthy, and active for a thirteen year old. Today, while playing, he suddenly lost the use of his hind legs and was clearly in pain and terrified. By the time we got seen by the vet his back legs had no feeling or circulation and he was losing one of his front legs too. Saddle thrombus embolism. Nothing they could do for him.

    He was four when he came into our lives. Old for a shelter cat competing with kittens for attention. I didn’t even really want a cat at the time, but the children and wife practically begged. I put my foot down about kittens though. Too much effort and responsibility for my then young children. Nemo, though, he was already litter trained, and had all of his shots, and the way he just relaxed into my arms and purred and the way he rubbed his head on the boy’s hands gently guiding them to just the right spot for scritches… He was exactly right for us. I still told the boys (and my wife) that I would NOT be cleaning litter boxes. That was a lie, though, of course. The first night, after a bit of reluctance and patrolling, he hopped up on the couch and curled into my lap. From that moment, despite all my bellyaching, He was MY cat.

    We had each other for nine years. We played with toys on string, and electronic mice that chirped. We sat and read to the children at bedtime. When I gave him wet foods, he would meow in a certain way that sounded like he was saying “tuna”. He liked to watch youtube videos of birds and squirrels. We moved twice. He was there for the boys when they missed their old friends. He was there for my family while I had to go away for long periods for work, and he was there for me when I came home. Tonight, for the first time in nine years, he won’t be.

    This isn’t the first time I’ve lost a pet, but it has still hit me harder than I could have expected. At the vet, and later as we held a small burial, I had to be strong for my family who all love him and miss him just as much as I do, but I also wanted to break down and have someone else be there for me. Yesterday, Nemo was the one I could count on for that.

    I believe that where Nemo is now is all warm sunbeams and wet foods and deep scritches behind the ears. There’s no more pain, fear, or confusion. No more ache in his aging bones making it hard to get up on the couch or the bed. I should be happy for him.

    I should be, but it’s hard, because my lap is cold.

    God bless you all and all of our four-footed friends that have gone before us. It does help me to talk, even if I don’t know that anyone is listening, and it helps me to know that even though I’m lonely, I’m not alone.

    • sam

      My Millie left me on 04/01/2017 but as I posted earlier I reluctantly like you let her join our family, more fro my two boys, but before long she was my cat. I take comfort in talking about her and posting and like you I was not sure if anyone was listening but people on her have responded and made me feel so much better.

      I take comfort that my Millie is jumping and leaping in a big meadow chasing butterflies and birds.

      I too had a burial with her toys and her favourite blanket and had a gravestone in her name place.

      I still have a little cry every now and then but the pain has got easier I pray it gets easier for you too.

    • Flattskat

      I am so, so sorry for you loss. I understand how heartbreaking it is to lose your little kitty it such a sudden way. I lost my beloved Murphy on Jan 15, 2017, just two weeks ago. It was a normal morning, very snuggly. I didnt have to be at work until noon and as usual me and Murphy were awake and had been snuggling and playing with his little toys in the bed. He liked to sleep under the covers with me, especially when it was cold. It was a little bit of a chilly morning and he was snuggling under the covers with me just purring as loud as he could. Such a happy babe. He got up and went to drink some water and eat and then was on the floor by the foot of the bed giving himself a bath. I looked at the clock and saw that i had twenty minutes left before i had to go to work so i decided to pick him back up and put him in the bed with me just for a little bit longer. I got up to get him and flopped back on the bed with him and put him under the covers, nothing abnormal, this is our daily and nightly routine. Im laying there and not 5 seconds later he starts to lick his little lips so fast and I think that maybe he has to throw up because sometimes he would get hairballs and he always licked his little lips really fast when he was about to throw up. I looked at him and could tell something was wrong he was so stiff and he looked in pain. I panicked and woke up my boyfriend and he panicked as well. I thought maybe he was having a seizure so i immediately scooped him up to run to the vet without thinking about it and was holding him close to my chest and told my boyfriend he was having a seizure. He started yelling at me to put him down so i laid him on the floor and he stretched out and threw his little head back and let out a meow/snort and that was it. He was gone. The whole thing lasted like 10 to 15 seconds. I am in a panick and I scoop him back up and I remember his little body shivering so maybe he was still alive I dont know i was so out of it with panick. I run downstairs holding him to my chest i didnt even have shoes or socks on i was in my pajamas but I didnt care. I got down to the parking lot by my car and i looked down at his little face and his eyes were wide open with his little tounge out and i just lost it crying and screaming that he was dead. I thought i had killed him by laying down or picking him up because it didnt make sense he was just fine. He was just having a little bath. I decide to rush to the emergency vet anyways just in case and there was nothing they could do. The vet told me it sounded like he threw a clot and had experienced sudden death through it. I have never been so broken. She said it could have happened at any time and it could have happened when we were at work at he was alone. It doesnt make it any easier. I know he didnt suffer because it was only 10 seconds. The vets always say he is so healthy. He was eleven and was born in my closet in Alabama when I had just turned twelve. I am so hurt and upset and i dont know what to do or how to go about this pain. He has been my bestfriend my buddy my child for eleven years and the pain is so real. I just keep thinking what if i didnt pick him up how much longer would he have lived. I wonder if he thinks i did something to him. I dont know and i cant unsee it and i feel so guilty i miss him so much.

      • Sam

        Poor you.. I know it doesn’t seem like it but the hurt does get less with time and slowly the more happier memories come through..it’s awful to feel that somehow we caused our little fur balls to pass on …. but deep down inside we must console ourself in that it was meant to be…. and nothing we could have done or done differently would have changed the outcome

      • Mary

        Dear Flatskatt, I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved kitty and the way he passed. You know the vet was right and there was nothing you could have done. You comforted him and were there and he felt your love. I know I did everything I could do for my guy and intellectually am sure I did the right thing by euthanizing him, but the guilt is awful. You did everything right, it was a shock to your system and “eventually” life will get better. I’m sending good thoughts your way. I am so sorry.

    • Face

      Aparition 42, I could feel from your writing how much you love your cat. You’re an awesome person. Your cat was lucky to have you. Nemo was aware of that.

    • Mary

      I read what you wrote about Nemo and what so many other people have written. I agree the loss makes you so lonely, but knowing others share that loss helps.

  • Bonnie R.

    Our beloved cat – Pretty Kitty – died a week ago and I miss her so much. She was a huge part of my life, my best friend, my first cat. I didn’t know the pain of pet loss could be this bad. Things happened so fast, she was five years old and suddenly stopped eating or drinking water. Pretty Kitty was crying and moaning. I took her to the vet and they were unsure what was wrong with her. They sent her home on painkillers and said to bring her back the next day if whatever it was didn’t pass. I took her back the next day and the vet hospitalized her. They thought she had pancreatitis. She was put on a drip and given painkillers and other meds. The ultrasound showed fluid in her stomach and her intestines were distended. The veterinarian decided to operate to see if there was a blockage.

    Pretty Kitty had been anesthetized for the operation when she had a bloody stool movement. The vet decided it was gastroenteritis. My cat started going into heart failure, her lungs filled with fluid. She was in an awful lot of pain and was unlikely to get better. We had to let her go. She must have been so scared and alone. I am heartbroken because I miss my best friend so much, and she had to experience such pain.

    • Sam

      So sorry to hear of your loss bonnie. I lost my Millie on 04/01 this year to sudden illness too they thought it was meningitus or cancer. I had to let her go. Not a day goes by when I don’t think of her …. but please feel assured the pain does die down and the happy memories take over… I take comfort that she’s playing In a big garden somewhere free from illness and pain

  • Jennifer

    Than you for your advice ,lost my Rosie just over a week ago and really miss her . I was the person in our family she would come too greet first , so hard coming home from work with out my little pal to greet me , and she would be the only one to come downstairs with me in the morning , we kind of understood each other , have cried almost every day since she passed away and I try to hide my greif from the rest of the family as they seem to have got over her already.

    • Aparition42

      My cat, Nemo, and I were much the same, being the only ones awake early in the morning. It was our special time together. On the rare days I got to sleep in, he would insistently wake me up anyway as though he was worried I’d be late for work. I can’t believe how much I’m going to miss him waking me up at five in the morning on a Sunday.

      God bless you and Rosie.

      • Jennifer

        Thank you god bless you and Nemo xx saw a black cat much like Rosie today in the street as I was walking to the shops and she waited and let me strike for for a while , made me smile but also sad for my Rosie x

  • Rich

    Thank you for writing this wonderful article. I guess, in a way, I needed to find something that would help me grieve. My little boy was about to turn five in two or three months and he passed today suddenly of a blockage. I thought he had turned a corner last night when he started moving around the house again and I had found pee in a box he had been laying in, then this morning when I got up he was yowling. I went to him, he gave me a soft mew and he passed. I’ve never been so devastated.

  • L Glass

    Thank you Ann. I needed to hear what you had to say. You are right. I am not over-reacting to the loss of my cat. Your comment about “sometimes people just aren’t as adorable”, was what I needed to hear and why I have grieved. My cat was adorable and he will have a special place in my heart forever. Thank you so much.

  • L G

    I had to euthanize My Kenny. He was 18. I rescued him from a shelter when he was 2. My heart is completely broken. He was a smart one. He would actually try to ‘talk’ to me in two syllable sounds. He knew me well and I knew him the same. He was my magnificent cat. My sweet “pinky, pinky, nosey nose”. I have been crying every day since I had to take him to the Vet for the last time. This is crazy. He was a cat, not a person, but he meant so much to me. I miss my Kenny.

    • Anne

      So sorry to hear of your loss. A cat can mean almost – if not the same – as a person. They were another living creature who you shared a bond and your life with. I lost my own wee one just a couple of weeks ago but I still feel myself crying out for him as we depended on each other for so long. It’s not crazy to have loved your wee Kenny or to miss him so bad. Sometimes people just aren’t as adorable. You had him for a very long time and must have shared some lovely times together. These you can treasure forever and cherish in your heart. He had a lovely, caring companion in yourself and I’m sure will look over you from afar just as you did when he was near. Feel for you and sending warmest hugs. x

    • Jennifer

      I know my Rosie used to have different sounds for hello, thanks for letting me in and can I have a treat please , miss her so much x

    • Aparition42

      I just went through a similar experience with my cat Nemo. I swear he said “tuna” when he wanted wet food. He also had a special call for “where are you guys” when he woke up alone after his late-afternoon nap. He meant more to me than 90% or more of the people I’ve met in my lifetime, and I don’t think we should feel at all embarrassed or apologetic for mourning our dear friends. It isn’t crazy. It makes perfect sense to feel more strongly about the loss of a companion that has closely shared your home and your life for many years than you would feel about a relative you barely knew. I think the truth is that most people feel the same way even if they don’t like to admit it.

  • Mournful

    Found my 5 year old Calico in the street early this morning. It doesnt make sense, she was terrified of cars. Still halfway in shock. She was warm and soft when I went to the store. Now all the little joys, the only joys throughout my day are gone. How stupid of me to pin so much happiness on a well trained, well nurtured animal. If I ever attempt to replace Ms Shadow, itll have to be a lazy one because I’ll never let it outside.

    • Suzanne

      I am so sorry for your loss. We had to put our beloved cat Georgie to sleep early Sunday morning as found out suddenly that he was dying of leukemia. He was my baby. He was everything to our family. He was my companion when I had anxiety. I’ve been crying for two days. I don’t know how to move on. I don’t want to. I heard him kicking his fur this morning and felt him jump on the bed, even though I know he’s gone. I take comfort in knowing he’s still with me.

      I hope you are doing ok. I stumbled on this site tonight looking for answers to the kicking I heard. You lost your kitty today and that makes me sad for you. I’m sending you virtual hugs for your loss.

      Gather pictures. That’s what I’ve been doing since yesterday. I made a 53 page photobook of my Georgie. It helped some.

    • Celeste

      This hit me hard because that’s exactly what happened to my 18 month old orange tabby. He was like a person to me. Never had a cat so full of personality and so sweet but smart & feisty too – he loved to tease our border collie. I never saw him get anywhere near our street. We had to take a trip to visit our kids once and we were gone for 2 weeks and he was waiting on top of my husband’s truck when we got back looking like he was running the place. He came in and slept with me every night. He hated to be inside all the time probably because he showed up at our door as a stray kitten. I was in shock too when he got hit. He was just in the house half an hour before and then my neighbor knocks on the door with the horrible news. Ugh! I cried for weeks and still get teary eyed. This happened nearly 3 months ago. I’m cat sitting for a friend right now but she’s not allowed out. But she’s not the fun and loving type that my sweet Thomas was. Kind of sweet but a little stand off-ish. They all have such different personalities. It’s tough. Hugs!

  • Jeanette

    I lost my baby girl a couple days ago. She was just turned 10. I noticed she wasn’t acting like herself one day (she would always great me at the door when I came home and run my shoes). My boyfriend noticed she hadn’t touched her food. I made a vet appointment. Vet said she had autoimmune hemolytic anemia and treated her for it. She had to stay at the vet for treatment but I went to visit her every day. At first she seemed better, more active and even tried to climb on my back like she would always do. She still wouldn’t eat though. The vet did another blood test and her levels were all good except her bilirubin. He did a biopsy of her liver and found she had fatty liver disease. Started her treatment and he seemed confident she’d recover. I made the mistake of getting my hopes up. I kept visiting her. We planned for her to come home the second day after her surgery and he’d give my instructions for her tune feedings. The night before she was supposed to come home I saw her and gave her a kiss. She was having trouble moving but was vocal and they said it was affects of medicine. Vet called in the morning leaving a message saying she had crashed and he was on his way to her. By the time I called back (about 30 minutes after his call, soon as I saw the message) she was gone. The terrible part is I think it’s my fault. One of the things that can cause the autoimmune anemia is an overreaction to vaccines, and she got her first booster shot a couple weeks prior. I keep thinking what if I never did it? Would she still be here? I miss my little furry dumpling. Now I have no fur babies. I don’t remember ever not having a pet. It’s so hard.

    • Sam

      So sorry for your loss Jeanette remember when my Millie died I blamed myself all the time … what if had got her medical attention earlier… what if I left her to get better herself? What if I had taken her to the speacialist hospital earlier? What if I had kept her indoors? What if had this and what if I had that? I scoured the internet spoke to cat owners vets anyone just to try and kind answers to the guilt i felt. Eventually I settled on the basis that my Millie’s time had come and nothing I could have done or done differently would have changed the outcome… I get peace in the thought that she has crossed the rainbow bridge… happy and out of pain … looking down on me and smiling at my pain …. telling me that she is happy and that I should be too. I pray and hope you get your peace too….x

  • Andrew

    She wasn’t really my cat.

    Currently stuck at home for some months, miserable. She was a friendly stray, dad doesn’t allow pets. Kept her inside when they went on vacation though, liked her company. Relaxed me, named her blossom.

    Got her food, a litter box. Even when they came back I’d bring her inside, old enough that dad doesn’t bother me as long as she doesn’t stay. I couldn’t keep her inside all day, not even a litter box. No pets, family said.
    But she did learn to grab my attention so I could take her outside when she had to go lol…

    I’m a failure, I mess everything up.

    Anyway..one day she seemed to limp slightly, didn’t seem serious, thought it a sprained muscle or something. Then she disappeared, two days later I was already up in the morning and was asked to take my sister to school, on the way I heard loud noises from the front.

    Back home I didn’t look, dad said he found a cat under the hood. I blame myself, obviously. Maybe if someone else took my sister to school, or if I heard something before getting in the car, which I didn’t.

    I was in denial at first, thought it could have been another cat. I knew blossom, she always stayed near the front or back doors, no reason to hide there, wasn’t that cold either…Still, never came back.

    Even though she was a stray she still chirped and head butted and fell asleep deeply near me. All the signs of affection from cats. I really miss her, I had a lot to be miserable about these past few years, still do. She made things slightly less miserable. It was an accident, still my fault.
    I’m a horrible being.

    • Sam

      I feel your hurt and guilt but you were at the mercy of your own situation. It’s very difficult not to blame ourselves but we know deep down inside we would do anything to help our little loved ones but sometimes fate has its own plans and we become blind to what we should do not in anyway our fault. You took her in and those moments you had her for would have been as comforting for her as for you. Nothing you could have done would have changed her fate that’s what I believe so please try take comfort on those happy memories you have of her coz that’s what she would have wanted

  • Rachael

    Just lost my 12 year old black and white long hair. 3 weeks to the day before we lost our dog, Harry, after 12 years. They were best friends. Harry had epilepsy and Max looked after him better than any human could in terms of patience and acceptance. There is no other explanation other than a broken heart, he’d never had a day sick in his life! So sudden. So unexpected. Not sure what to do except cry. He was my baby ?

  • Jacob

    This is a very helpful article and the comments with stories and sympathies are very touching… maybe I can find some solace for my own enormous grief just sharing the story as others have done.
    I grew up in the country and I have had at least a dozen cats in my life. I had a “Christopher Robyn/Tigger” relationship with my first cat… she was with me from age 6 to 25. (ancient for an indoor/outdoor cat). I remember when she died… I was sad, but it was understandable. She was old and had a good life for being found in a drainage tile as a kitten.
    In Dec. 2014, my wife and I adopted a cat from a local shelter.. her name was Betty. She was probably about 3 years old, part maine coon and had been at the shelter a long time… no one petted her, no one looked at her… she didn’t even look up when people walked past. So we adopted her, and brought her home. Once we got her home her personality came to life… what a personality she had! We renamed her Calliope “Callie” because she was very vocal… usually not meowing, but the “purr-murr” sound a mother cat makes with kittens.
    Callie loved everyone she met… she was gentle and patient with small children and made best friends with my mother-in-law who detests cats. She was playful and very well behaved. She quickly bonded with both of us, especially my wife – who suffers from some serious health issues. There were occasions that my wife couldn’t get out of bed for months, and Callie would stay with her and would know when a my wife was about to have a relapse. Needless to say, of all the cats I’ve met in my life, she was very unique in temperament.
    Callie however had some problems right from the start. She was very sensitive to certain kinds of foods, she couldn’t tolerate any kind of flea medication (which is a problem in Florida).. she had constant problems with her GI tract. She would have several months of healthy times and then a month of time where we feared she wouldn’t make it through. We were lucky to have vets who were affordable, competent and caring.
    Yesterday she started acting funny in the morning, hiding in places she normally wouldn’t not go. Then late in the afternoon she started having trouble breathing and was very listless. We took her to the emergency clinic and they said she was severely anemic and needed an immediate transfusion. It was very expensive, but we didn’t mind if there was a chance that she could recover. They did the transfusion and reported at about 3 AM last night that everything looked good, she was lifting her head and at one point was walking around. We went to pick her up at 7 AM and the doctor said she had relapsed completely. We made the difficult decision to euthanize her. They brought her in and left the room for us to say goodbye – when she saw the two of us she started meowing very loud, then started purring and we whispered our love, gratitude and goodbyes to her. After about 5 minutes she looked into both our eyes and slowly blinked at us then her eyes went dark.. she died in my wife’s arms. It was almost as though she knew it was time and was waiting to see us. The vet came in and was surprised to see that she had passed already.
    I have suffered a great deal of tragedy in my life, but never have I been this sad. I am not the most outwardly emotional person and I have been sobbing all day. Her food and water is still out, her liter box is still there, her brush is on the counter and her toys are strewn all over the house… we can’t put those things away. We think we see her and hear her in the house, I still feel her rubbing against my leg and feel the warm spots where she’s laid. We only had Callie for 2 years, but the impression she made on my wife and I, and all the family and friends that met her was astounding. There are children in 4 states who just refer to any cat they see as “Callies”.
    To every other grieving soul out there… our prayers are with you. Follow the wise advice in this article and fondly remember your beloved cats… I’m convinced there is no more genuine bond.
    Thank you for endlessly enriching our lives Boo-Boo. Rest peacefully now. We miss you so much.

    • Suzanne

      Your story brought me back to early Sunday morning when we were at the emergency vet with our Georgie. Tests showed he was severely anemic, high white blood cells and a very enlarged right kidney. He’d started vomiting blood earlier in the day and was hiding in our closets which was out of character for him. After talking to the vet and learning he likely had leukemia or lymphoma we decided to put him to sleep. We spent time with him, loved him, told him how much we would miss him, and took pictures. He went to sleep in my arms. I too am hearing purring, licking and even felt him jump on the bed this morning. I woke my husband to tell him I thought I was losing my mind. He later heard purring too. I think Georgie is still here in spirit.

      I made a photobook and found that comforting. I hope that you and your wife are able to provide comfort to each other during this sad time. I can’t stop crying. I hope this pain eases soon.

  • JJ

    Lost my baby last week, had her since I was 10, I’ve just got through the other end of cancer and had my fiancé left, it might sound stupid to some, but losing my Nipper is the most pain i’ve ever been through, i’m almost 22 now so it’s not like i’ve never dealt with pain or loss before, but this is different. from being bullied at school to getting over heartbreak, she always knew when I was upset and would comfort me. She hated any other human though, if they dared get too close they’d get a well deserved smack. She chose me and I was hers. All I want to do right now is cuddle her, but then I remember how I took her to the vet and told her i’d fix her, I was not expecting this to be so sudden. The only comfort I have is that she made three of the vets bleed on the way out (sounds harsh but that was just her). I just feel so alone now and I’m getting a growing hatred of any other human now I can’t share that with my cat. I can’t get the image of her limp body out of my head and it’s really affecting me. I can’t stop hearing her purr and I keep seeing her in the corner of my eye. It’s difficult to talk to my friends because I have a pretty normal social group, and they wouldn’t understand this. I feel like i’m going nuts but I know if it was the other way around she’d feel the same. I just don’t know how i’m supposed to cope

    • Michelle

      I’m so sorry. I can understand, yesterday morning my cat was alive and well and now she’s gone.

      I had a cat like yours as a child, he loved only my mother and me, and everyone else would be scratched for coming near him.

      I wish you all the best, you’re a survivor, your cat is surely proud of you and watching you from her little cloud.

      • JJ

        that means the absolute world right now, I just feel lost without her tbh, but yeah i’m sure she’s watching over me, if there was ever an angel of protection it’d be her

    • Sam

      I have read through so many of these posts now just trying to convince myself that I did everything I could for my little Mille who passed away on Wednesday 4th January 2017. Millie was a beautiful tortie who I reluntantly purchased as a pet for my youbg two boys but she quickly became my little girl. She was very adventurous and loved the garden. I used to watch her trying to catch butterflies jumping on her back legs and running around in the garden playing with her four cat friends. She loved to climb and run and jumped after the birds. She used to climb on the fence and tease the dog next door. Millie lived with me from the age of 3 months till 23 months. In that time she never had a cold runny nose or watery eyes. She never scratched my furniture or tore my curtains. She only ever vomited once and never bought up any fur balls. She never soiled my house. Once she was outdoors she completely stopped using her litter tray . She got ill on the Thursday before she died but it was not obvious she just climbed into her cat tree and slept but woke up for eating and drinking and only wenr out a few times .. I rang the vet who said it must be the cold weather keeping her in the house. But by Friday pm she was refusing to eat or drink or move. After tipping her out of her cat tree for forceably into her carry basket I went to the
      Pdsa hospital who said she had high temperature and gave her antibiotics and anti inflammatory drugs and send to take her back in 48 hours if she was no different. When I got back home Millie ate some food and went out which made me feel better.. I was due to travel tHat night to London but delayed till the morning. In the morning Millie was sitting on her favourite sofa and had two treats and I said good bye and left. My friend came in to check on her and kept reporting to me that Millie was ok but not eating or drinking. I rushed back on Sunday and took her back to hospital within the 48 hours they had said but her temp was still high and she was dehydrated. They admitted her and placed her on antibiotics and fluids but by Tuesday am she was more irritated and growling and still had very high temperature and was not eating or drinking I took her to my vet who ran bloods and an X-ray and advised her kidney was enlarged and her heart rhythm was high plus she was showing signs of neuro problems. I rushed Millie to a specialist hospital in Solihull some 50
      Miles away who ran an MRI and told me Millie’s brain was inflamed and it could be meningitus or cancer or coronovirous. They advised that steroids may help but her prognosis was not good. I allowed the steroids but she detoriated and died the following day. I was not with her and that kills me as I feel as if I contributed to her death by going to London and that if I had stayed I could have saved her and got her more medical help or at least sat with her but I know in my heart that if I had any idea she was so Ill I would have done things differently. I had her burial Friday last with all her toys and her blanket but I want her back I want to say sorry to her for that day I left her. I just don’t know what happened and how quickly it all happened. I feel she left me for leaving her when she was not well but god knows I would have not done so if I had any idea how Ill she was. I keep scouring the internet for answers but nothing really helps. I thought maybe writing this will help somewhat. I keep blaming myself that I dehydrated her and didn’t pay attention.

      • Anne

        Hi Sam

        So sorry to read about your pain and loss. I feel the same way. My little Meanie died at home early last Tuesday morning the 3rd. He was over 18 years old and I had him since a kitten. He was a house cat so we did everything together. He slept in the same bed as me every night and every morning, we would wake up together – he would do a little stretch and yawn – and then we would go into the kitchen to get breakfast together. Every day was a new dawn I shared with this beautiful creature. He was there to greet me when I left for work and when I came back at night. But that was only recently as mostly I have worked from home and we spent most days together all day long for many, many years. I also live alone so he really was sometimes the only person I would see or talk to for days on end. I didn’t realise how much I spoke to him all the time. I mean, if it was time for a cup of tea, we both went together. I would ask him how his day was going “What’s happening in catworld, Meanbo!”. Sometimes, he would answer me when I asked him questions…I would get the drift! I mean, he really was a constant companion. He would follow me about a lot and come running, a trot, when I called. Mostly he would sit on my knee when I tried to work at the computer. I am so heart-broken that he is gone. He was the best part of my life for a very long time.

        I had a flatmate for the last year and a half. She loved him too and he clearly loved her. When she left in early September, he seemed very depressed and did not hardly move from the same spot in her empty room for almost a week. I was worried as he was losing weight and eating very little but then I changed his food and he started eating normally again. He put a bit of weight back on and seemed to recover OK, going about normally, but was never quite as bouncy as before. I put it down to old age and believing that they do get a little scraggy at 18. However, in the last few weeks, he became more and more listless and seemed to be losing weight again and not eating very much. I finally took him to the vet the Thursday before New Year’s Eve. He had never been to the vet before as was never sick a day in his life – except one time when he ate a small piece of a burst balloon which he sicked up eventually!!! Last year, I wanted to take him for a check up after speaking to a vet nurse at a party who said I should just because he was old. The vet told me then that if there was nothing wrong with him, that there was no reason to bring him in – it would only be traumatic for him. And so I didn’t take him. He also had a couple of short seizures earlier this year which I phoned the emergency vet about but they said that unless it was often or prolonged, which it wasn’t, that they would not treat it and was not an awful lot to worry about. Now I feel I left it too long, a little due to this advice as I didn’t want to traumatise him, but also as I felt it was probably just usual signs of old age. He was purring away to the last so not apparently in any pain that might indicate a bigger or potentially fatal problem. However, I feel that I should have consulted more with professionals about these changes and insisted that they see him. Today, I feel like I should have took him in immediately when he first started to act strangely when my flatmate left. Even though he did appear to recover from this, I feel I should have done something more to check that his grieving was not in fact an indication of some other kind of illness that he could have been helped with.

        I was away nearby at a friend’s over Xmas though I came back to feed him. He seemed to loss weight dramatically over these couple of days and that’s when I finally decided to take him to the vet. They did some blood tests and most came back next day clear and healthy, kidneys, liver etc. However the experience was very traumatic for him. Some of the other tests have not come back yet. But it’s too late now. He died a few days later. I feel that I did not do enough to care for my friend and that I should have stayed with him and did more especially over Xmas. He should not have been left alone at all. He probably didn’t understand especially after losing my flatmate. I also feel the vets were a little lacksadaisical and didn’t seem overtly concerned. I was given no advice on what to do in the meantime. He was still eating and drinking quite a bit. I don’t know. Beside myself on what I should have done.

        He was very like a lot of the cats people have mentioned here. He was the most gentle and loving creature. He would go to anyone as he never knew what danger or fear was. I used to sing to him – ‘Wow!’ by Kate Bush, a particular favourite! – we would also dance a lot as he loved to be held up high and to stretch his body out long like a ballerina…He would even flop around my neck and hold on while we whirred around the room. Something about that gentle, flying movement he seemed to love. He also liked parties and socialising with new people. He even had his own Facebook with many of his own friends over and above my own! Anyway, Sam, I understand your heartbreak and feelings of guilt. Feel so ashamed of myself. Now that I’m sitting here without him, I’m looking around and surrounded by meaningless stuff, stuff of no consequence as I have lost my best friend and the companion I loved most in the world. Simply devastating.

        I suppose we will always feel we could have done more but eventually there is only so much you can do…maybe sometimes they just have to go…The only thing I can be thankful for is that Meanie died with me stroking him, comforting him, peacefully at home and did not have to go through any traumatic treatments or perhaps a dreadful long drawn out illness in a strange environment. On the vets behalf, Meanie was very resistant to being handled by them and would not open his mouth at all. It was very hard for them to try and examine him in all the ways they needed. Poor wee guy! He was always very, very natural. I never even put a collar on him as I felt that if he wanted to be dressed, he would have went out and got one himself! I think he knew he was just a little human and equal to everyone that ever came into my home. He certainly knew his own little place in the world and would tell me so frequently. I used to wonder how he could get in my bedroom sometimes when the door was closed. One day, I discovered, when he didn’t know that I was outside, that he was able to jump up and pull down the door handle in order to get in… I hope that we will both be able to get over our heartbreak and come to feel that we did as much as we could for our little ones. It is very hard to know what a cat thinks or feels. Meanie was so considerate of me and would let out a miaow if I even sneezed. He would keep me company if I was ill. The first thing he wanted when I would come home, over food, or anything else, was a hug. I hope that he will forgive me. He did not tell me he was in pain as he was always purring so I can only hope that he wasn’t. He slept with me the night before and we were together at the end. I know now that he was smarter and more loving than I ever realised. He will always be my guardian angel, my wee baby bear, and as I told him often “together forever and ever and EVER!!!” I put a little letter with him when I buried him on Saturday. I also read a poem which has helped me a little. Perhaps it might bring you some comfort too?

        Do not stand at my grave and weep;
        I am not there, I do not sleep.
        I am a thousand winds that blow.
        I am the diamond glints on snow.
        I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
        I am the gentle autumn rain.
        When you awaken in the morning’s hush
        I am the swift uplifting rush
        Of quiet birds in circled flight.
        I am the soft stars that shine at night.
        Do not stand at my grave and cry;
        I am not there, I did not die.

        I have come to believe over the last few days that all living things are one and that even when they appear to “die”, they are simply in transition to another form of life which we can cherish. They brought us so much joy, we owe them to try and carry it on. Kindest thoughts to you, Sam. So thankful for your story shared and all others on this page. We will see them all again in heaven. xx

      • Haerea "rea"

        Hi there Sam I feel the same as you are.I feel so guilty because I lost my precious Sheba midnight of January 8,2017.She was already showing signs of slowing down last 2015 when she was 15 years old.She eats little and vomits after she swallows her dry food whole cause she lost a lot of her teeth.But she still acts the opinionated, vocal,and demanding boss that corrects any mistake I do.I put up with all of these and now I know why she was like that,she was a dsh tortie and she has well defined tortitude.But I wont forget that she saved me from possible snake bites that entered my house last 2010, 2011 and 2015.She also sleeps with me but since she suffered bladder problems and cant hold her pee I didnt allow her to sleep with me anymore and that really bothered her so much crying all night by the door.I bought a cage for her and I put put clean pillows and blanket for her but she really prefers to cuddle with me or sit on my lap when Im sitting anywhere.Sometimes I dont allow her cause she stinks of pee and that is what Im guilty of.Now I regret that I wasnt indulgent of her wishes my Im suffering from guilt, regrets and deep grief.I cry all the time and I dont want to do anything around the house cause Im so depressed.

  • Sarah

    I lost my cat Bogart yesterday morning… I work at the local animal shelter where I adopted my dog 8 years ago and then 2 years ago I met Bogart, a big, handsome 14 yr old cat who melted my heart! Before adopting this guy I always would say I’m more of a dog person but not anymore! I will always have a special place in my heart for my Bogie and once I heal from my sobbing and heartbreak I may find a space in my heart for another kitty some day! But right now I’m grieving and thankful for the wonderful 2 years we had together! I’m trying to not dwell on the pain of finding him in the cellar yowling in pain as me and my boyfriend held him until his last breath!
    It does help reading this article and hearing others stories and to share my experience so thank you for sharing and listening to my rambling as I deal with this heart wrenching pain.

  • Michelle

    I just scrolled through all the comments because I need to talk about my cat.

    She was with me since March 25,2010, her birthday when we rescued her from a shelter… her mother had been a shelter cat also, that is why she still was so very young.

    She would have been seven next March, but today she died… it came suddenly, she had been so fine Health-wise. She was okay the whole day, ate a lot, jumped around outside, and at 8 pm suddenly she meowed loudly outside (she is usually quiet) and I looked for her. She was sitting there completely relaxed

    We went inside again and a few minutes later took another look because we had a feeling and there she was, looking at us helplessly. She could not move her hindlegs anymore and dragged herself inside

    I later saw that she had dragged herself all the way to the door, I’m sure she knew what was happening and did not want to die without seeing us one last time …

    We brought her box and she crawled inside on her own, knowing we only wanted to help her, and we drove 40km since that was the only vet open today

    She held my hand the whole time, and stopped breathing twice, and my mother and I knew what was happening but we tried to hold onto hope

    But when we came to the vet he showed us what was happening and why we have to put her down, because the alternative was that she would suffocate during the next twenty minutes…
    And we didn’t want that for her of course!!!

    We said our goodbyes. I told her I loved her and kissed her, and she looked at me in a certain way…

    My mum stayed until the end but I couldn’t, I couldn’t live with seeing her die and I’m so sorry. Please tell me if it’s okay, I just didn’t want my last memories her lying outside helplessly and dying..,

    Can anyone please tell me it’s okay? It’s only been a few hours and I’ve cried and cried, so has my mum, we loved her so much and it hurts so much!!!

    I miss her.

    I will love you always Minou.

    My baby…

    • Sarah

      Michelle, that is so terribly sad! I feel your pain and yes it is ok what you did… What matters is you were a good and loving cat mom while your kitty was alive. My sweet kitty passed away in my arms yesterday morning and I can’t get that image out of my head! I’m trying hard to think of him happy and healthy… I’m sure with time the pain will ease but right now it is unbearable! Chin up and try to stay busy with other stuff so you’re not consumed with grief… Need to keep yourself healthy as I’m trying to do too! It helps to talk to others that are going through this… Take care.

      • Michelle

        Thank you so much for responding! It means a lot.

        I’m sorry about your cat… I’m sure he/she was very happy with you.

        I loved her so much, when we got her I was just starting a levels, and now I’ve almost finished my bachelors… The past three years I’ve seen her a lot less than the years before that, at most once a month, and she always used to ignore me for a while because I couldn’t come over more often.

        I just wish we had had more time. It’s even worse for my mum, since she’s in the now-empty apartment whereas I have my own room…

        It’s hurting so much

    • denise gorman

      Hi Michelle, Of course it is OK! The love you showed her was through her time with you and she knows that. take comfort in that, please. We are all different and you said your goodbye.I am sorry for your loss and heartache. Denise

      • Michelle

        Thank you so much for your response!

        I was guilt-ridden ever since yesterday night but I just couldn’t. I take comfort in the fact that she didn’t suffer, and I know that my mum needed that final moment even more than I did…

        I loved my cat so much. I know she’s gone but I still think she’s going to sit on the window, looking in at us lovingly, it’s killing me at the moment

        Wishing you all the best

    • Haerea "rea"

      Michelle I feel exactly how you feel I just lost my sweet precious Sheba midnight of Janauary 8 2017 and I swear its the loneliest time of my life and until now In sobbing every now and then.It hurts so much yes it hurts so much I dont know how to console myself.I wanted this pain in ny heart to go away I wanted to rest from crying and missing her terribly I wanted to know why Im insanely sobbing all the time ,I want my Sheba back.

  • John Hennessy

    This week I had my 12 year old tortoise shell tabby Gui-Gui put to sleep. She had kidney failure. With all the technology, money and research, why can’t vets do more for our beloved pets? She is survived by her two sisters and one homeless cat we adopted. I am an author and was writing the story of Gui-Gui’s mother (Coco, who died five years ago) when this happened. Christmas 2016 was made worse by the death of my mother’s dog a few days before I made that final trip for Gui-Gui and that my other half is away abroad as her mother was seriously ill. I am a 43 year old male who simply cannot get over the loss of little Gui-Gui. I have about 200 photos of her and about 2GB worth of video. Over nearly 13 years, that is a shambles. I should have taken more time to film her. I miss her so much. Don’t underestimate the loss of a pet. It is absolutely devastating. We will heal eventually, but I am wishing I could be with Gui-Gui, wherever she is now. A lonely Christmas and New Year. But maybe it is right that I feel this pain. She was a beloved cat and it is right that I miss her. I will write a book worthy of her and her mother. Blessings to you all.

    • Rosemary B

      John, I completely understand.
      I lost my kittyboy Pierro on November 18. This is the hardest Christmas celebration ever.
      (In October my mom went to Heaven. She was 93 and had the best life. I took care of her and dad for the past 3.5 years. Now I have my dad, and he is such a sweet brave dad)
      I miss Pierro so very much. He was only 8.5 years old. The first three days after his death, I was screaming and sobbing. The emergency vet in Leesburg, Virginia said he had lymphoma and his liver was damaged. He just suddenly got sick.
      I miss him so much. I am so grateful I have a loving husband that provides all of the hugs and pampering I need so desperately
      John, I will keep you in my prayers.

  • The SPY

    For all of you who have lost a cat.. I understand. I had to put down my 18 year old male cat Friday, 12/23/2016. It was kidney failure, which isn’t uncommon for cats at the age when they are nearing the end. I hoped he could make it til Monday after Christmas, but it wasn’t meant to be. He was in bad shape.

    He’d spent 40% of my life with me. I appreciate every moment and know he wouldn’t have had it any other way. I think the old man chose to go during the holidays to make sure I never forget him.

    I have no guilt or regret about putting him down. I only have a loss, when I realize I don’t have to watch my feet when walking around. My mind still plays tricks on me and makes me stutter step to make sure I don’t step on him. Or maybe it’s his ghost 🙂

    The hole in my life with him gone is terrible, but I know he’d want me to keep moving forward with my life. He adjusted to many transitions during the period from my age of 28 or so to 46.

    The hardest thing was to make the decision to “kill” my friend. I just wish he would have died peacefully in his sleep, instead of making me make that call for him. The vet was very kind and said “what you are doing now is the last kind act for a very good friend..” 18 years is a very long time.

    Eventually I’ll feel better. Things will be normal again, but for now, I have to grieve. I have a family now, a house, and a stable career. He was there to see me grow from a young adult to middle age, and I took care of him for the whole time, as he took care of me.

    Please remember, if you’ve suffered a loss of a cat, that you can continue to make a difference.. if you choose not to get a new companion, you can make a contribution to your local animal charity of your choice. Remember, your beloved cat cost you money in food and possibly litter during their life.. that money can be spent to support your local shelter while you recover from your loss. Your love can be paid forward that way. I want to think that my old man cat would like to know that other cats would have the opportunities that he had.

    And as I sit here, thinking about 18 years of cleaning litter boxes and how much that stuff costs.. I don’t mind taking a break and paying someone else to do the dirty work until I’m adopted by a new furry partner. You all know that THEY adopt YOU…

    • Harriet

      Hi I’ve just read your sad story…my cat Larry has kidney failure but he also now has oral cancer..he’s still trying to eat & still purring..he’s 19 & for 14 of those years he’s been my best friend as he was about 5 when he came to live with us…and when you said it’s so much better for them to pass away peacefully st home you’re so right…now I have to make the hardest decision of my life & take him to be put to sleep at the vets…I can’t do it, nobody should have to do that, it’s impossible..how do you do it? I really can’t cope ;(

  • denise Gorman

    It’s Christmas. I had to put down my beloved Charles December 23. He was a rescue cat and we were only together 4 years. He was old and had thyroid and kidney problems for the past year and a half. I loved him more than myself. He was always there for me, and me for him. I remember all the wonderful time spent together except when he was euthanized in my arms with me kissing his head, I just can’t get over this memory. I can’t stop crying, it’s traumatic.

    • Rosemary

      Denise, I know how you feel. My kitty Pierro was the cutest kittyboy ever.
      He was hardly 9 years old
      I cannot stop crying either. It has been almost two months, and three months since my mom died. I feel like I have been stabbed in the heart and pushed down the stairs. I will pray for you. I know I need them too

      • Denise

        Rosemary, I pray your heart will heal. I’m so sorry for your losses.I hope you have the support and love from others to help you bear this pain. Again, my love to you, Denise

    • John Hennessy

      Denise, I am so sorry. I have been crying too. I made the decision to put little Gui-Gui, my pet cat of nearly 13 years down yesterday (27th December). Christmas is forever silenced now, I don’t feel I can celebrate it again. Remember the times you had and write down ten things you loved about Charles. It will ease the pain – eventually.

      • Denise

        Thank you, John. I am so sorry for your loss also. As someone on this forum said, there is never enough time with those you love. Christmas for me too will never be the same. Hugs and peace to you, Denise

  • Christoph

    Today, no more than (now7) hours ago my mom broke the news to me that she found our cat Candy after dissappearing 4 days ago.. a life long friend above all since I was a kid, I’m now 21 years old and this is the first time I’ve ever felt pain run so deep. She lived a good long healthy life right up until the end even with her age, aside from her constant begging near the fridge, I could see her only as my little baby. obviously I knew this day would come but for the past, I don’t know how many months I was constantly reminded with the reality that someday Ill never hear her distinct purr lull me to sleep again or in general have her in my presence. I hated the thought, and tried to stay mindfull but in the end it made me give her the extra attention an older cat deserves and cherish every moment to the fullest before her passing. Even still nothing could prepare, It was still so unexpected. Other than the nornal signs of age, she seamed perfectly fine, full of life as always.. We live on a couple acres and shes known to stray off for a couple days. Even with the recent winter cold temps, the fact we live near coyotes and my recent anxiety about her age, my parents were the first to pick up on some dark vibes.. I wasn’t going to belive it, surely she would return home with a present on the door step or something…
    I just couldnt understand why now? So many questions.
    I have no words for what I felt when I first lifted that towel and saw her for myself. Frozzen stiff I couldn’t look her in her eyes, I wanted only to see her little nose poke out the towel as if in that moment she was only asleep. after hours of irrational thoughts and heavy emotions I can but now only reason it was simply her time and that she went peacefully on her own in the most appropriate way she sought fit.. under her favorite tree right beside the house.. It kills me; she was so close to me within thoes last 4 days and I never knew it… truly missing my cat is an understatement, She was a huge part of my life as I was hers and will never be forgotten.
    Just thought I’d share.
    RIP my sweet little kitty.

  • Deedee

    My cat’s name was Paco. Paco passed on December 7th 2014. I feel I am no better today than I was then. It was very tramatic for me and I have been in therapy ever since. Paco have began to loose weight and lay around all the time. He lost down from 17 pounds to 12 pounds. I kept taking him to the vet for the last 2 years of his life trying to find out what was wrong. I had every test I could think of done and was always told everything was normal. Nobody was concerned about his weight loss, the vets said he is at a good weight! He was, but I was talking about the weight he came from –why was he losing weight. Once I had them to test him for anemia, same story was told his blood work was normal. This went on for 2 years me taking him back at least once a week trying to get him some help. Now this is a well know pet care place ( I am not at liberty to disclose, can only say it is a big well know pet place. )One night Paco had an episode whereas we had to rush him to the emergency hospital,he was found to have an enlarged heart, dehydrated and severly anemic. I took him back to the regular vet 2 days later to get some fluids to hold him over til we got him to a heart doctor the next day. Paco died that day. I was in shock, devastated and didn’t know what to do. I went and picked up his medical records after his passing. Not one time in the 7 years that I had been at this place had his blood work ever been included, this time it was! I compared it to the emergency room blood work and you can imagine the horror I felt when I found not only had he been anemic he had been for some time. Paco’s heart wore out from being so anemic and killed him. I turned in the place and the vets to the state boards. One of them was found guilty of not one time but twice of not treating him for the anemia. The vet even told me once ” stop worrying so much, he is a older cat ( 11 years old ) and that is what they do lay around. He had his blood work !!! The day I took Paco to get fluids he looked at me and meowed one time. I kissed him and told he we were going to get some fluids and that would make you feel better. I did not know my baby would not come home with me. Everything happened so fast I did not get to tell him bye. I do not work and am in the house most of the time. I am so depressed I have isolated myself from everyone, no one understands. They say you have 3 more cats. Please pray for me, I still can hardly bare to look at his picture, I feel I let him down. He brought so much joy to me and my heart is still in a million pieces. I am just going through the motions of living, but not living

    • Celeste

      DeeDee I felt a need to reach out to you. I definitely understand the feeling of guilt. I blamed myself that my sweet cat got out in the street and got hit by a car. This happened Nov 7 and I’m still torn. Paco had the best owner in you he could have. I don’t know anyone that would try every week to get help like you did. Paco knew you loved him. You are more aware of ensuring that you get good vet care. It will take a long time to feel OK so don’t put a time frame on your feelings. (Hugs)

    • Deedee

      Hey Celeste, Thank you so much. I guess in my heart I know I did everything I could. I just think why did I not take him somewhere else, but I had been there 7 years and they kept telling me everything was ok and I kept trusting them. To know the company still employs this vet is unbearable. I got a letter from the CEO of the company sending their deepest regret that this happened and the trust between me and the vet was broken, but still it does not bring Paco back. It’s just that I kept telling him mommy was going to make everything alright and the day I took him in, I did not get to say bye and I was to weak to go back and hold him while he went to sleep. I will soon be 57 and never had kids and he was a child to me. I just pray God hold my heart. Thank you for caring enough to help me. May God bless you. Sincerely Dee

    • Jennifer

      Hi Deedee I too just lost my cat, yesterday- she was almost 11 years old. She was my baby I loved her so much. I am in a tremendous amount of pain. She had been sick for 6 months and I thought that I would be able to deal with the fact that she was sick and dying and not feel so much pain after she passed but that is not the case. Her death was traumatic and I am completely heart broken- I find it had to do anything without thinking of her and “seeing her” all over the house.

      6 months ago I was 9 months pregnant with my daughter when I brought her to a routine check up and found out she was anemic. My vet informed me that anemia in cats is different than in humans – it almost always is an underlying cause for another problem in cats. In my cat she had a rare form of cancer in her spleen. We found this out by doing x rays and ultrasounds until we found the cause her spleen. They did a biopsy and found the irregular cells in her spleen. They told us she could have her spleen removed but that it wouldn’t really extend her life. we knew it was only a matter of time. They told us a month so we were lucky to have 6.

      She was bone thin and we were giving her appetite stimulants and steroids to help her. Eventually it was too much for her. I found her yesterday morning in her urine and slumped over and barely breathing…it was the worst thing I have ever had to witness. But I just pet her and told her it was ok to go to let go. (We had just come home from being away for Christmas and had planned on putting her down that same day because she was so sick). I am grateful she was able to let go in the arms of the person she loved the most. I just know she was waiting for me to come home to say goodbye. I am so devastated.

      • Deedee

        Hey Jennifer, I am so sorry for your loss. You sound so much like me. I can imagine your pain because it has been 2 years and I am still having trouble sleeping. What you said made me think. I thought too like the anemia had to be because of another problem but I could not get them ( vets ) to HEAR me! They kept saying Paco was at a good weight 12 pounds, but what made him go from 17 pounds down to 12 if his diet had not been changed, and to never know exactly what killed him is awful. I kept telling him I would find someone to help. I remember the day I took him in to be checked for anemia and was told to stop worrying so much. They had his blood work showing how severly anemic he was, and I am thinking why did I not just take him somewhere else, why didn’t I go with my gut. I did not add in my story that 2 days before Paco died he was at home and I knew he was dying, my heart did but head could not wrap around it. I called my cat friend and told her Paco was dying and she came and layed out in the ice cold sunroom with me because that is where he was. I covered him with a blanket and was watching the life leave him as his breaths got further apart.This went on for about 45 minutes and them all of a sudden he got up and walked back into the house. I started crying and thanking God, I told my friend I promise he was dying, so now I am thinking my baby would be ok. I finally slept in my bed that night, I had slept on the floor with him the last 2 nights. Something about when I got up I had a sickness in my stomach, I just knew I would find him in the livingroom dead. There he was sitting there looking at me, I said there is my baby and that is when I went to get ready to take him to the vet for fluids. When I looked down at the hall he just looked at me and meowed one time, do you think he was telling me bye??? I went and got him and put him in the carrier, I said I am so sorry mommy is taking you to the vet again, but we are going to get some fluids and that will make you feel better. We the vet came out and told me his body was shutting down and asked did I want to spend a minute with him, I was so shocked and devastated, I said yes, but as soon as he got in there he started panting so I knew his lungs was filling with fluid. I screamed for her and told her to take him. It all happened so fast I did not get to tell him bye. I was asked did I want to be with him and I said no. I could not bear looking at him dead and I feel so utterly disgusted with myself that I could not hold my angel while he went to Heaven. Dec 7th was 2 years and I am still in therapy. I don’t talk about him anymore to family or friends because they do not understand, they have real children, I do not and he was my everything. Can I get over this?? If the vets had tried to save him I think that would be more bearable but to take him for 2 years telling them something was wrong and they had the ability to help him and didn’t that is more than I can bear. I was even told once try and not get so emotional when something is wrong!!! God help me forgive and not hate them. It has been a real battle of depression for me. I am trying to be here for my other kitties but they can’t take his place. Once time about 4 months before he passed he was sitting on my chest staring at me and for some reason I said Paco you aren’t going to leave mommy are you?? I could not bear that please don’t leave me, it’s like deep down I knew he was. I want to give you a big hug for the loss of your angel. Is it better knowing what is wrong when thy die, or them dying and never knowing what was wrong. I am so greatful your baby held on til you got back. I pray God take that image of your baby away from you with her laying there. Thank you so much for caring enough to share with me. I have to say, what you said about underlying causes has helped me. My husband said maybe Paco had cancer and God didn’t want him to suffer, I guess I will never know, I just hope Paco knew how much I adored him and will miss him til the day I die. Please write me if you get really down, it does help to have someone to listen to your heartache especially when you know that they know how you feel. Maybe your angel has met my angel at Rainbow bridge !! dee

    • Haerea "rea"

      Dear Deedee I feel the same Im doing the motion of living but not living, I lost my precious Sheba after 16 years of being my friend, my protector, my sunshine and my joy.Words can’t describe the agony Im feeling since she died midnight of January 8 2017, which is the loneliest time of my life I guess I need effective therapy to function again and be interested to go on with life.

  • David Beltran

    Lost my cat today millie I’m absolutely heart broken she was 18 months old adopited her and her sister lilly when they were three months old she sadly got run over as we decided to leave the window open because the previous night there was an accident in the kitchen we would always keep them in off a night I feel everyone sorrow on here unless u have a cat no one can understand the pain and grief I really don’t no how to go on at the moment so near Christmas as well I have to be strong for my children but I’m cut to pieces I feel everyone pain.

  • nika

    I lost my 13-year old cat on Thursday, December 15th. It was sudden and unexpected. I left her playful and happy that morning at 9 am. I came home at 9 pm and she appeared to be asleep in her favorite spot on the couch, but she was deceased. You’d think I’d have peace since she appeared to go in her sleep, but I am feeling such terrible guilt and I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to know what my baby died from, but a portion of me doesn’t because I think it may be my fault. I’m sure it was heart failure, but I’m afraid it may have been connected to her hyperthyroidism. Last year she was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. I took her to the vet for a swollen cheek at that time; they did blood work and found she had lost 4 pounds, had dental disease and a hyperactive thyroid. We got the swelling down and her weight went back up gradually. She was eating normally and very happy. I was pretty good with her meds but not perfect. In fact, at this year’s checkup in September they said she was doing well, but her thyroid was just borderline hyper, not too much. They said a couple of does would get it back in order. I was given refills of her medication. The problem is she became very smart with the medication. she would no longer take it in a pill pocket, I tried different things like putting it in wet food, she’d figure that out too. EventualIy I had to force it down her throat which took several minutes, mostly ending in failure (sometimes finding pills on the floor she spit out later) and then her avoiding snacks altogether. This was too much to do twice a day. I figured she was vibrant and spry and had no symptoms so she was fine, I’d sit the pills aside until I figured out a solution (obviously very stupid). Eventually, I order a pill syringe with intent to give that a try. It sat around for two weeks before I finally took it out to remind myself that we gotta get back on this medication regimen. My cat died the next day before I had a chance to use. When she was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism the veterinarian no one told me what this could do, when I explained that does were missed here and there, no one every indicated the severe danger. They only ever mentioned lethargy and loss of appetite and weight loss which she had none of the last year. No one every said missing doses can kill your cat or cause another condition (heart failure). I’m not trying to transfer to blame, I know it’s my fault, but had I known this I would have spent hours trying to get my cat to take the pill. I loved her and I’m devastated. I definitely a good researcher and when I learned she had hyperthyroidism I looked up symptoms the heart was never mentioned (maybe I should have pulled more articles). Now that she’s died I see all types of comments about the connection between hyperthyroidism and the heart. I am truly devastated because this could have been prevented. I have no proof that this is what she died from, but it’s likely and I’m afraid I’ll never get over it. I know I’m blessed that she died in her sleep, had she lived longer it may have been more tragic, but none of this is making me feel better. I would have done everything to keep my cat here. I feel irresponsible and stupid. If it wasn’t for this, I think I could accept her death more. Someone, please help me. I thought my cat would live to be late teens. She was so vibrant. How could she be gone a couple of hours later with no symptoms or signs to speak of? I’ve been crying for 4 days straight. I’m in a lot of pain. My best friend is gone, she was my shadow. Wherever I was she was right behind. I spoiled her rotten. We had the tightest bond. How could I let her down over something so simple as giving her a pill twice a day. This pain will never cease if I don’t figure out how to heal it. Help!

    • nika

      I should also mention the pill avoidance was more for her than for me. It was traumatizing for her forcing a pill down her throat and often I did not know if it made it. I’m just so sad. Maybe I could have done something different.

    • Clarabelle

      HI NIka, since I posted on this website in an effort to help me recover from my cats death, I read all of the follow up comments that are all sad, and every so often one message rings home, like yours, so I know what you feel like and I can see exactly how it happened. I’m not a vet, but I also blamed myself for my cats death, and still do (he started wandering when I broke his heart by getting a second cat…anyway…all a long story), but all I can say is over time, these feelings numb and you can go through whole days without crying and pouring over details of her death, photos, memories….it will happen….and right now you are in the very very early stages of grief and probably in shock, but rest assured it won’t always be this raw and terribly awfully sad. Somehow the human body copes, and you accept the ending (although at no point in the beginning or the middle of your cats life with you do you ever expect the end to be so hideous).
      Maybe you should speak to the vet about the details, and then you can deal with what they say. I know you’ll have heard this a lot, but you tried and tried. I decided that after the death of my cat, which was probably the worst thing that has ever happened to me and left me devastated and unable to move on for months (I even shocked myself at how the grief took over me – hoping you don’t go through that!) – that love is never enough, you need knowledge too. But whatever the outcome of your decision making, you will get through this with time, and there will be good days and bad days, but remember how much that cat adored you – you were a GOOD owner. lots of love.

    • deedee

      I am so sorry for what you are going through. I only joined yesterday with my story of my baby, if you get a chance to read about my cat Paco you can see I too like you, feel responsible. Your cat knew she was loved more than you can say. I do not believe she would want you to live in this guilt. It’s your hurt putting the blame on you. I too will never know exactly what caused my cats death only what lead up to it. It has been 2 years for me and I am still struggling. Please know I will be praying for you, try not to fall into depression like I have. A big hug for you –dee

    • Ana

      There are so many things making pets sick, radiation in the air from Fukushima and others.
      I do not think I would have been able to get a pill in my cats mouth. I too wish I had done some more things. It is tireless trying to do everything perfect and hours of research. The medicine can help but then there are always other bad side effects. You gave her so much love. Meds do not get to to root, or cure. They just try to manage a bad situation. She was getting up there in years and the stress of the pill may have been a lot for her. xo

  • Nicole731731

    Feeling so lost and empty, had to put my precious Meme cat down on Saturday. She was 19 years old and I got her when I was 10 years old. She’s been through so much with me. Has truly brought my life such happiness and joy. I just feel torn and empty now. She was by my side every day and every night . Every single day when I would come home she would be waiting at the door. She loved me so much and I miss her so much and can’t stand to think I’ll never be able to hold her or see her again.

    • Alan

      Feel your pain so much. We lost our little sweetheart on the 7th December. It’s like a hole in your heart and the emptiness is shattering. As I type this, I feel a little better as I type this. But it will come back later and/or tomorrow. The feeling is still there, it’s just the level of the pain that comes and goes. It’s so awful though. I’d do anything to have him back. You keep thinking he’s out the back door and you glance over, or expect him to jump on the bed and cuddle up to you purring. It’s excruciating. Especially with the depressing dark evenings drawing in. You feel so lost and empty and still can’t believe that he’s gone. Miss all his little ‘traits’ as well x

      • Richard

        i join you in your grief, sorrow and pain. Not enough words to describe the feelings. Had to say goodbye to my beloved Pepsi cat and Smartie cat both within 1 week. Kidney..liver failure..diabetis…. So so difficult. Never cried as much in my life.

      • Sam

        Alan I share that thought. Keep thinking my Little Millie will appear in the garden or run through the cat flap any second she died 4/1/16 and all I keep remembering is the things she used to do the waiting I the window if I was late the stroking f her tail against my legs the little meoaw conversations how she used to curl up i her cat tree hide behind the curtains and sit and eat at her bowl don’t know if the void will ever go

      • Alan

        I’m sorry for your loss, Sam. It’s been a few weeks now since Oscar died. I suppose I feel a bit better, but not by much. It’s depressing how time goes and you feel closer away from him, like a distant memory. It’s still agony at times and hard to believe he’s gone. He was only nine, and didn’t think we’d have to worry about the pain of his death until at least a good five or six years further down the years, maybe even more! It’s awful. Keep imagining his little body at times down the vets in the cage, all distressed and dying. It’s tragic. I always thought about wearing his little collar on my wrist when he went. Again, I didn’t think it would be as early as it was. I’m wearing it now, and will never take it off. It isn’t much of a consolation. But I like to think he’s apart of me that way, and I am to him. We miss him terribly. Love him so much and would do literally anything to have him back. He was such a sweet little thing. Albeit, he could be a spiteful little git at times. 🙂

    • Kibushka

      I am also there, with this unbearable pain. My sweet cat had to be put to sleep on 11th December, too painful to go into detail. She was 20 years old, and we have been together for her entire life. I moved out to another country, changed the locations and houses many times, and I would never leave her behind. She has always been my most faithful companion. Since our goodbye, every day I have to confront a kind of a very painful “first time”. First time I come back home from work and she is not greeting me, 1st time I go to bed without her, 1st I wake up and she is not by my side. Last night it was the 1st time for me in 20 years, that I had to fall asleep alone in my own bed, my husband was out, and my kitty is not with me anymore. I had to leave the light on, as I was feeling so lost. I just can’t handle this void. I wish she could come and visit me, and that she is happy, my little Angel…

      • Pixie

        She is still with you and always will be. She chose to be with you and everything happened the way it had to for both of you. You have both been touched and changed forever by each other. I know it hurts and the loss feels insurmountable, but you will survive and have a new normal. One day, the barrier that separates you from each other will be removed and your spirits will find each other again and mingle together, never to be parted from each other for the rest of eternity. /hugs Your kitty is no longer here with you physically, but she is still there and she loves you and wants you to be happy.

    • Rich

      Nicole I hope you read this , December 6th 2016, I put my 19 y/o Nipsey down. (I had him for 16 of his 19 years) He slept on my pillow with me for all 16 years, we were together thru 2 long term relationships, and 3 houses…He was always here for me. I hope you find some comfort that Meme and Nipsey are over the rainbow bridge watching over us 🙂 God Bless

  • Anchoret

    Lost our beloved Kitty yesterday, she was run over by a car, she was only 8 months and I’m devastated. I just feel its so unfair and that I’ll never see her again.

  • Rich

    Yesterday we lost our little girl, Millie. Her death was violent and tragic, and I feel like my entire heart and soul has been ripped from my body. She was my best friend, daddy’s little girl. She was everywhere I was. Her mornings started with leaping onto me after the alarm began to sound. Shower time and getting ready for work involved Millie helping me. She would paw at me through the shower curtain and then insist on grabbing the hair brush as I brushed my hair into place. Each day when I got home, she would greet me from her afternoon nap, eagerly awaiting daddy’s arrival. At dinner she was always trying to see what tasty meal was on my plate, and would sneak a lick if I was not watching her. Millie was a constant presence when watching television, as she would plant her butt in front of the television so as to get attention by me having to get up to move her from the line of sight. She was ferocious with her favorite toy, a small orange fish, Fishy. She carried it all around, proud of her find as she would bring it to me. She recently found joy in bringing to me in my sleep a Buffalo Bills beenie, the kind with the fuzzy ball on top. Its only been twelve hours since she left us, but the pain I am feeling is undescribable. She was one of a kind, with a personality so large words simply cannot describe.

    • Sam

      I’m sorry to read your pain I lost my Millie too to tragic illness and can’t bear to think or her not being here with me pestering me for treats..:: but she is gone now and inside me I have to accept that was the end for her it is hard and the void is unbearable but I have started to reason with myself that as young as she was there was nothing I could have have done to change her fate. I just pray she is playing in a big garden somewhere smiling and chasing butterflies and birds with plenty of treats. It breaks my heart even then that garden is not here with me

  • Wesley

    I get the whole “angels and heaven” thing is comforting, but seriously. In all reality, we need to cope with the inevitability of the nothing after death. The animal is not in a “better place”, they simply do not exist any longer. It is very sad, but that is the truth.

    • Pixie

      But you don’t know this anymore than they know there is something after death. Absence of evidence is not edivence of absence. The fact that we are here even discussing this is mind bending if you think about it enough.

    • Jed

      Very old texts explain consciousness is the proof of the soul in the body and is indestructible. Only the body dies. If this is true all our cats live on in new bodies. Bhagavad Gita chapter 2 text 13

  • Vicki Bouwer

    Dear Sandra,

    I had to reply to your comment and am also sorry for your loss. My daughter and I lost our little Angel (cat) three months ago to an attack by a collarless stray dog in our own back yard. It was horrible and we felt helpless trying to get this dog off her. Even though I am an animal lover and fierce defender of the way so many animals are cruelly treated, I was very angry at the dog and whoever may have owned it ! I blamed myself for not being able to save Angel as she was only a young age of not yet 6 years and was mainly an indoor cat & not familiar with dogs.

    Like you I couldn’t sleep for the first couple of nights and weeks and kept dwelling on our loss and the injustice of it all. I was fortunate to have a wonderful best friend that helped me grieve and wonderful neighbours who came to us at the time. I have taken up walking my neighbours’ sweet little dog and sharing my affection for animals with him and he looks forward to our visits which has helped us enormously. We decided not to bury Angel but had her cremated so we can spread her ashes in her favourite places in the garden and keep her with us always. I have lost pet cats, a dog and a horse all mainly to old age but when they are taken from us suddenly we are not prepared.

    Sometimes I visit animal shelters and donate my time to visit and play with them. I am not ready to have another cat just yet but I find spending time with other animals and pets helps me to move forward.

    At completely unexpected times, I still feel and sometimes hear Angel’s presence which is very comforting. I wish you peace and comfort Sandra and may you experience many happy and wonderful events in the years ahead. xx

  • Tori

    Hi. I’m in so much pain right now. I have recently lost my 13 year old black and white, short haired cat, Tinkerbell, from a cats protection centre near me. I chose her at 4 years old because there was an immediate bond with her licking and rubbing up against the glass at me. I wouldn’t even consider another as soon as I saw her. She was only 9 months old and previously had kittens, of which were all adopted, and had been found on some wasteland after presumably being kicked out of a last residence for her pregnancy (it remains speculation). This wonderful kitty has been through everything with me. A move to France, my depression and anxiety, me changing 7 schools, a move back to England, starting college, my first love breaking my heart to pieces. She was always there with her loud purring, headbutting and our little cat conversations where shed meow at me, I’d meow back, and she’d meow back at me again. She’d come when I called and would sleep with me and always out her paws on me, especially liking holding my finger, frequently bathing me. But here is unfortunately the sad spiral of her getting worse.. a tumour popping out of her forehead, she goes blind, has a seizure of about 24 hours in which I spend every moment with her on my lap and asleep with her, crying and whispering to her. We were taking her to the vets as an emergency that morning but somehow being with me had given her more hope to live. The vets didn’t know how she was alive. So back home we go as she appears better.. then she disappears. For two weeks. With no medicine or food, helpless and blind. The biggest shock came to me when an rspca man knocked on the door with my little girl in a cage. She was found 10 MILES away. We believe someone took her, mistaking her for a younger cat in the dark as she is so tiny. Back home I smother her with love and somehow.. somehow.. she regains her sight, her spacial awareness and hearing. And just when I think it’s better she undergoes another serious stroke or seizure, and is immediately taken to the vets. They want to put her down right there and then. But I was at school and as she is my cat my parents asked to have her given steroids for me to spend some time with her before her passing. She comes home acting great, energetic and pleased to see me. Five days they where supposed to last. And almost a month later she was doing fine! Sight and all. And once again as fate seems to have in for me she has a small and short seizure… two days later is gone. It’s been a week since she’s been missing. There’s serious flooding in my area. My heart feels like it’s being pulled from my body and my eyes sore and irritated. I can’t breathe, I really can’t. I found myself scouring the carpets around my house for her fur for three quarters of an hour just now, and found this article whist crying my eyes out to try and relieve the pain. Everytime I think of my weak little girl out in the cold and harsh rain I break down again. My poor poor baby. She’s been a support to me through almost my whole life. I’m 16 going on 17 and I don’t know how I can deal anymore. I can’t tell my secrets to anyone or speak to my cat when I’m sad. She was always my backup. My precious little girl who I’d do absolutely anything for. The last time I saw her I was on a Skype call, she cuddled up on my pillow next to me for a while, got up and left. I love her so much. I miss her so much. I just want her little body in my arms so I can perhaps give her a last kiss and lay her in the ground.

    • Tori

      For anyone, I got my closure. A vet called me yesterday with her in their possession (microchip) so I went to collect her. But her state was dreadful. Walking in circles, swollen head from the tumour, so so thin.. yet she still recognised me. I chose to get her put down because it would of been cruel to keep her alive. I miss her with every passing second and my eyes burn like holy hell. At least I got to hold her for one last time.

  • stacie spaulding

    I lost my 13 yr old kitty,Gemini suddenly 11/16/16..I hurt SO bad and when I take a five minute break from crying,I feel guilty for stopping.My eyes feel like they are full of sand and burn like fire,they are so swollen and red,I can barely see.My heart aches at the idea of Christmas without her,I am whaling out loud even as I type this.She had renal(kidney failure) she did not eat for one day so I immediately took her to the vet as that was not my baby girl,she loved her treats and loved her food,the news was horrific,she had only hours to live and was in severe pain…I was told I needed to make a decision, one I said I’d NEVER even entertain,to end her suffering humanely,unfortunately I learned a hard lesson to ‘never say never’ ..I could go on for days with stories and the Love I have for her but really just wanted to send my love and well wishes for quick healing to all of you who adore your pets as much as I and hopefully,it is,even if tiny,some sort of consolation that you are not alone in your grief and don’t EVER let ANYONE tell you”oh,its just a pet”..you cry/mourn as loud and as long as you need to.I know I will,there’s simply no choice,it is hitting me like a train.Thanks for the stories and for listening to mine-Stacie

    • Richard

      Dear Stacie, my beautiful cat Pepsi suffered renal failure, she was 15 and we had to put her to sleep yesterday. I understand your journey with renal failure. What can one say to anyone who lost a beloved companion – other than i feel your pain and understand.

      The steam train is hitting me hard as well. I think speaking to others as we are and sharing our story and grief helps tremendously.

  • Sandra

    Hi, I lost my best friend today in a horrific way, my bf s dog killed her ( who was a stray and he took in against my better judgementv and advise) I know it’s not an accident that I stumbled upon your page. I am still grieving the loss of losing my 18 year old son and she was a main source of comfort from losing him. Now what do I do? I can’t sleep, I can’t even think straight. I feel SO alone. I truly don’t know how I’m going to get through this. This dog has a vicious and aggressive personality and iv feel he should be put down. I know it seems harsh, but I’m afraid it’s just a matter of time before v he does it again to another pet. I welcome any advise with this difficult (for his owner) choice. To be honest, I don’t even care right now. I just want my son and my dosia back. I know that sounds cold hearted and I’m SO quite the opposite, I always think about others to the point where I often don’t think about myself. I’m just absolutely HEARTBROKE LOST and feel so alone. Thank u for listening and I hope I haven’t been to much of a downer I’m just so lost. I hope angels are holding both my babies in their arms…

    • Jane

      Hi Sandra, I read you comment and I just had to say how sorry I am for your loss. To loose both your child and your cat is quite simply an unimaginable pain. It does not seem harsh at all for how you feel towards the dog that killed your cat. I would say that is a natural response to feel anger and hurt towards the animal. You’re right in that it is a scary thought in that the dog may do this again. I don’t mean this to sound accusatory in the slightest but in future your bf must ensure his dog is supervised in future at all times when other animals and children are around. It is a difficult situation to be in. I’m so sorry I can’t give advice except for getting this dog training and keeping him supervised. I really hope you find closure and peace for the terrible tragedies you have suffered and I hope the dog is able to be better trained and domesticated so something like this does not happen again. You’re not a downer at all and I wish you only happiness for the future. Take care

    • Jane

      Dearest Sandra,

      You will have them both back one day. I firmly believe that in the end, every soul on earth is reunited to make one living, perfect, complete, fulfilled entity which is pure peace and love. In the meantime, know that your son and Dosia are fine. Of COURSE you don’t care about anything or anyone right now…including yourself…you are in a very, very bad state…that is calling for help and action when you are ready. Go easy on yourself. No expectations. I just had to put my cat down…the absolute worst thing I’d ever gone through, and I was thinking of all the women I’ve known who have gone through that–and have lost children.Upon arriving home, I went out to my mailbox and who was driving by but the very woman I had thought about earlier. SHE was comforting ME. She sagely, knowingly informed me: Our loves are FINE. And they live forever. I hope you find peace and comfort, Sandra.

    • Maus

      Hi Sandra, I lost my little angel in a similar fashion, she went missing last week Thursday and I found out last night that my neighbors dogs killed her, I miss her terribly and wonder how terrified she must have been…I was not there to protect her. Although I have two other babies, I cannot fill the void her loss has left me with. I am trying to find comfort in the fact that I believe animals do have souls and she is up in heaven waiting for me when I get there.

  • Laurie Post author

    Dear Dee,

    You lost your beloved cat so recently; I don’t think there is anything you can do to get over the pain and grief. I believe we need to go through the grief, to weep and really allow our hearts to break at the loss of our cats. If we try to rush it or speed grief along, we just bury it….and it’ll come out later in more destructive and painful ways.

    Give yourself time to grieve. You shared your life with your cat for such a long time! It is normal to be sad, to grieve, to cry, to feel broken. It’s painful…but it is important to allow yourself to feel what you feel.

    You will heal. One day you will start to remember your beloved cat with peace. You will find yourself lightening, your heart getting bigger and stronger, your spirit and soul coming alive again. Take heart. Trust the grieving and healing process.

    You will never be the same – and you will always remember your beloved cat – but you will be better one day.

    In sympathy,

  • SueShi

    To all who have lost their furry baby, I too feel your loss. It’s been exactly 1 week since my baby boy, Appie passed in his sleep from chronic renal failure (crf). I had him since he was about 4 weeks old. Feral rescue. He was 18.5 yrs old, 90 yrs in cat years. I miss & loved him so. His litter mate sister, Blackie also has crf. She, too is slowing down. I prayed for Appie to have a painless, peaceful, loving passing. I was there, my hubby and his sister were there. He was surrounded by love. I pray Blackie may stay alive longer living life fully. My psyche can’t take another loss so soon.

    • Dee

      My beautiful girl passed away 16th October 2016 17.45. She was 20.yrs. We had to make the heartbreaking decision to end her suffering. Weight loss,vomiting, dehydration possible liver problems and the final straw a suspected stroke. She fought bravely but all too much for her frail little body.The pain I feel for my Amber passing is crushing. I have had another cat and a dog but the loss of this tiny little girl is deverstating. She brought my family so much joy.
      It feels like I will never get over this terrible loss and the guilt I feel. I got up today the first morning without her and for a brief moment started to go downstairs to feed her. Then the tears took over. How do I get pass his horrendous grief and feeling of loss?

      • Ana

        The tears are always waiting under the facade. I have learned from this site that the end is never pretty or easy. God must have a plan. There is too much love, quite amazing actually. I think the grief makes us more compassionate and maybe that is part of the plan.

    • shirley7

      I lost my baby girl around the same time and im lost, cant breathe at times. I go over and over what I could have done differently and still not certain the causes. I love her so much and its unbearable.

  • Laurie Post author

    “The agony is great and yet I will stand it. Had I not loved so much I would not hurt so much. But goodness knows I would not want to diminish that precious love by one fraction of an ounce.

    I will hurt. And I will be grateful for that hurt for it bears witness to the depth of our meaning. And for that I will be eternally grateful.”

    – Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

    May you heal, grieve, and open your heart to love again.

    How to Recover From Loss and Survive Grief

    “You don’t get back to normal,” says grief expert Dr Norman H. Wright. “You create a new normal, a new stability in your life.”

    Give yourself time to grieve your loss. Know that your beloved cat is resting in peace, and your spirits and souls will forever be together.

    In sympathy,

    • Linda

      I lost my beloved Charlie cat on Oct. 9th at about 1p.m. I noticed Thursday he was off his food but was still drinking water. By Friday he was quite lethargic. Saturday he seemed to rally a little and then he started peeing blood. Sunday he died. All is darkness since. My dear sweet good and loyal boy was a rescue kitty who came to me on a snowy afternoon in January of ’13. He was an indoor kitty and my constant companion since. He was my one and only joy in this life. I would look so forward to coming home to see him and be with him. He was rowdy and vocal fellow. But also very affectionate. I loved him so. My home is very quiet and empty. It is almost unbearable to come home after work. I hate myself for being to poor not to take him to a vet right away. There is no light or joy or happiness without him. It has been almost a full week without him and all I do is cry. I have read through your stories here and know I am not alone. You here understand. I buried him with his favorite toy and wrapped in the most beautiful silk fabric I had, next to the roses and under his favorite window he liked to sit in to watch the birdies. My heart is broken.

      • Clarabelle

        Hi Linda, I had to reply, as I know how sad and depressed you are. I know the feeling of ‘not another day without him’ and even shocking yourself at how much you miss him. But they all say it, and time will numb the pain…as you know it will never go away completely….but if you keep busy as possible, and try to open up to people who may understand (I think you’ll be surprised at the people that do understand this grief, and won’t judge you) then you can ride out the next few weeks and months. I know it’s totally scary to know that all you had with him is gone for good….but other happiness will come, not the same, different, but it will be happiness. I wish so much I’d done things differently with my boy, and I’m still shocked to the oblivion that I was bullied into putting him down…but he’s gone…he went late March and I’ll never forget him but the days are so much easier than they were 1 month ago – I think in the end I knew I had to move on for my sanity! So don’t be hard on yourself, do what you need to do to recover but recognise when you are making things worse for yourself (spending too much time alone is one of those). Good luck and take care, Clarabelle (once mum to a gorgeous black boy she adored beyond all reason) xx

  • Georgette

    My beloved Luna died during the night,with no signs of illness.I just found her laying peacefully on the dining room this morning floor.My heart is breaking.Its only been a few hours and I am truly devastated.

    • Robert

      I feel your pain, My beloved Cat Pinky died last night, in the share bedroom she was 16 1/2 years old , I miss her so dearing I feel like I lost a Child so was so sweet and cuddly she loved laying next to you , I really miss her.

      • Georgette

        Im so sorry to hear about Pinky. Luna was only 10. She was my friend and companion she traveled everywhere with me. I just cannot believe how devastated I am feeling, you are right,it is as if Ive lost a child.

  • Jenny

    Hi to everyone, it’s great, but so sad, to read all of your stories about losing your cats. But it really helps to know I’m not alone & it helps me a lot to write about it. I lost my beautiful cat 2 days ago and I’m devastated, I feel terrible, really ill, like I have very severe flu. There are 2 people I love in the world more than anyone else, my 18 year old daughter (she’s an only child) & my cat. It really helps to read about other people’s experiences & the love cats inspire. My cat was 13, we had her since she was born, her mum was our daughter’s pet, her mum was beautiful & lovely in some ways but quite aggressive & fierce. When she had her litter of 4 my daughter picked Kittie out for us to keep, about a minute after she was born! Kittie was a very mellow placid affectionate cat, not so much like her mother! I feel like I have lost a child, we buried her in the back garden & I keep thinking oh she must be cold as winter is coming. She was such a pleasure to be with, I work from home and it gets lonely, and she was always there with me. Everyone commented on how big & beautiful she was, she was a big cat, not fat, just big. She had some kind of accident or attack, a week ago I noticed a wound in her neck, a big chunk like a bite (we think she was attacked by a dog there is a big one at the flats next door, over the back garden wall, she never goes out into the street as she’s terrified of cars) we were cleaning the wound & put a cone on so she couldn’t scratch it, she seemed ok eating well, going into the garden, doing all her usual activities, etc, but she deteriorated really quickly & couldn’t get up, then went into a coma on Sunday night so I sat with her, whispering sweet nothings 🙂 I hope she knew I was there. My daughter has just left home to go to university, she was back for the weekend so she saw Kittie but missed her death which was at 1.30 am, because Kittie didn’t look like herself in the end, she had convulsions & her head was cold and looked like a toy with dead eyes though her body was still warm and purring, it was horrible, it looked like her brain had died before her body. Well it’s better than her getting cancer & suffering for ages, I tell myself. I was VERY attached to her, even more so since my daugher left home. She was my best friend & so lovable. RIP beautiful Kittie miss you like hell. I want to be a robot so I can get up work eat sleep and not feel pain any more.

  • Laurie Post author

    I am so sorry for your loss. May your grief be lighter today, and may you know in your heart that your beloved cat is safely resting in peace.

    May your weeping turn to healing, and your pain to acceptance. May your heart heal, and your soul be larger and more compassion because of the love you’ve felt and lost.

    In sympathy, with hugs,

  • Gee040

    my ginger passed away 2 hrs ago. im so heartbroken and a cant stop crying. the very first time i saw ginger was in front of our office. it was raining hard and he was crying. i took him in and eventually i adopted him last august. he was just a kitten 🙁 earlier today he was sleeping and snuggled right next to me. i just vant believe that he’s gone. it really breaks my heart to see him lifeless. i miss him so badly. i miss cuddling and kissing him on his head. what hurts the most is that i didnt get to say goodbye. he’s just the sweetest cat ive known. my bf left me last august, same month i adopted ginger. i put my energy to him. i was feeling shit back then about what happened, but ginger was always beside me. he made me smile and feel loved. he’s the reason i was feeling better when my bf left. oh god, tears again. huhuhuhu

  • Laurie Post author

    I recently went to a Grief Workshop by Dr Norman Wright, and he talked about the grief of pet loss! I shared a bit of his wisdom here:

    How to Get Out of Bed When You’re Grieving a Difficult Loss

    Allow yourself to grieve the loss of your cat for as long as you need to. Don’t rush it, don’t push yourself to heal. Let your heart ache, and you will come through this.

    Take heart. Your cat is resting in peace…and loving you more now than ever before.

  • Luke

    I keep coming back to read this, I just can’t get over losing my beloved cats. I’ve lost two this year, two who use to always sleep by me every night, and make me feel better when I was sad and down. The first one who died I’ve had for 16 years, I’ve known her for so long. The second died last August, and I still haven’t been able to feel better. He was only 3 years old, passed from Kydney failure. I miss them so much, I feel like I’m never gonna feel any better.

  • yashi

    My most loved cat of 6 years (she was black and so special) died this morning September 29 2016. I am so heartbroken that words can’t express what my family and i am going through right now.

    • Rebecca

      So very sorry to hear of your heartbreak. 🙁 I lost my best friend in the world ‘Hero’ 2 weeks ago and life is just painful now. I miss him so much. 🙁 I know what you are going through and it’s unbearable

    • Clarabelle

      I lost my cat in March 16, he was my baby, my joy, my heart literally pumped (like in the cartoons!) when I saw him and held him – he was amazing! I adored him and we spent many many happy months together being a pair! Stupidly, very stupidly, I decided to get him a ‘companion’, they didn’t fight, but he changed, distanced himself from me, then would get close again, and then I would catch this sad look in his eyes, and then he started disappearing for days and days. I’d be searching for him, posters and so on, and then suddenly he’d reappear – hungry and tired and relieved to be home – the absolute absolute joy! Until on the 4th time, he didn’t come home for 10 weeks, I held it together (most of the time) and told everyone he was still alive and he’d be back. I’d had some possible sightings 3 miles away so I was searching there. In March 16, on the darkest rainiest evening we had a call from the vet…the rest was the worst and he was put to sleep after being badly injured from being hit by a car 4 miles from home. I held him, he purred at times, but the strong advise by 2 vets, and my husband, was to let him go. I couldn’t think, so I did. Too soon. And there started the misery I have been unable to shake, it’s been many months and I still waste entire days researching his injuries, wishing we’d disregarded the vets advice and driven him to the Trauma Centre in Potters Bar, I have immense anger at myself for driving him out of his home by getting another cat, and complete and utter sadness. I go through stages where I want to dig him up, I pour over photos, I stand and stare at places where he sat and lay, and I think about getting another male cat, but so much rests on that cat. I can’t believe I had it all and it went, I cannot believe this. So i just go on….I’d love to know when this will all end. Until then its brave face forward while inside mourning for my best pal, my little man, my boy.

      • Zam

        Oh Clarabelle your story is so sad. I know how you feel, the guilt, the anger, the immeasurable sadness. I lost one of my cats not long ago and I’m surprised to see just how affected I am, especially since in my case he was not a very approachable cat. But while I thought he was living it up in the next door gardens, turns out he was dying a slow, painful death right next door to us, having been locked in the neighbours’ holiday home. He picked the wrong house, and I still can’t get over how such a simple mistake lead to such a tragic outcome. I still have one cat left, and I can’t even imagine losing her. I really hope you feel better soon.

      • Clarabelle

        Thank you Zam, that is so sweet of you. At least I know how you feel too, I am so sorry about your cat, it all seems so tragic. So near but so far. The problem I have is I know my boy was the one, and I let him down. I have blamed the vet for putting pressure on me to put him down, and I have blamed the charity who gave me the second cat telling me it was fine to have 2 cats together but at the end of the day I know the buck lies with me…a bit of research about my boys personality or would have led me to believe getting a second cat was not a good idea (and why did I need one, he was everything…but at the time i was so caught in in rescuing animals and it didn’t ever occur to me it would cost my boy his life….) and I also could have refused to put him down and just tried to get him to potters bar (they said he may not make it as lungs filling up…but they could have drained them first)….who knows what the outcome would have been: a huge amount of cash and he’d still be dead or paralysed, or I may have my boy with me now with a small limp and rehomed the other cat to a carefully chosen family. Hindsight, amazing isn’t it! I so wish to know then what I do now.
        Somehow I just have to accept he’s gone, I did it, and that happiness and joy he bought me is gone too and i have to find new ways to be happy again and stop all these tears and lurking over his grave.
        Thanks for your comments Zam, I’m sorry to rage on about myself when you are suffering too….that is the thing about grief, it makes you very self consumed.

  • LISA


  • Luci

    I lost my favorite cat yesterday. That is hard enough, but her sister of 17 years is tearing my heart out. I’ve never experienced an animal grieving before. I’ve been spending most of my time on the porch consoling Punky.

    I have a special enclosed porch for the cats. When I step into the formal living room, Punky begins to yowl. She doesn’t want to be alone.

    I bought her some special wet food because she wouldn’t eat her kibble. What once was considered a special treat, is meh now. She wanders over and eats a little here and there thank God.

    I emptied and cleaned both cat boxes. Punky walked over and sat next to her sister’s box and stared into it for the longest time. It just about killed me. That’s where I found Fatty, lying in her litter box. ? I’m just so incredibly sad.

  • Halay

    I had a beautiful gray turkish angora, her name was ruby. i loved her so deeply and my brothers loved her too, my mother and father bought her for me when i was 16, but sadly i had to move and she didnt have her passport done, so i had to give her to a trusting friend of mine, she loved the cat and i think we both shared the same bond with ruby, so i left, 3 years after i just heard she passed out while giving birth. My friend said that she had 5 beautiful kittens, with 3 girls and 2 boys. Im crying as i write this and hopefully she and i will be reunited again.

  • Rebecca

    On Monday I lost my best friend. I’m devastated. I can’t even eat. I have no joy no purpose and no want to carry on living. My cat Hero was only age 1 and 2 months. Before rescuing Hero from a rehoming house I suffered from a bit of depression but Hero cured me. I loved him immensely. I spent all my time with him and we had a very special unique bond. I can’t believe he’s gone. It siffocates me! He had FIP and there was nothing we could do to save him. I’m sorry that he lost his life so young and I’m sorry for what he went through. I hope there is an afterlife and I will be reunited with him again. I feel like at age 30 my life is over. Part of my heart has died. I hope he’s in peace and happy. I love him and I can’t cope with this unbearable pain.

      • Rebecca

        🙁 so sorry! The pain in unbearable ! Nothing else matters anymore. I have no joy. I just go to work (at least at work I’m forced to keep busy and try not to cry) but then everything else is just emptiness as time goes by. I’m going to volunteer at the RSPCA so I can help others but I’ll miss my baby forever 🙁 life’s cruel

    • martina

      You are not alone in your pain Rebecca. My sweet little boy passed away 6 weeks ago, and my heart still aches whenever I think of him. I miss him so much. He was my ray of sunshine that kept me warm through the darkest days. My boyfriend broke up with me this june, it was a 12 years long relationship, and Pierce was my only comfort. I feel so alone..

      • Rebecca

        Sorry to hear what you are going through. Life is so very cruel and hard. 🙁 There are no words that will make you feel better but all I can say is that I feel your pain and I understand what you are going through 🙁

    • aria saremi

      I was in a similar situation when my cat, Cookie, got hit by a car. I’m 30 and had similar problems with depression and totally understand how it must feel. Cookie was 1 when a car hit him 5 months ago. he was my son and it was a huge loss when it happened. it’s amazing how they become like your children. the bond is so beautiful and pure and when it comes to people like you and me it takes our lives to a different level of quality. at least you didn’t get to see your little Hero like I saw my Cookie after the accident, it was so devastating! but soon you’ll understand this is how it works and you’ll have him in your heart forever. when you think about it that’s what’s going to happen to all of us sooner or later. we’re all going to where our cats and other loved ones are! it’s guaranteed that all of us will become other one’s memories one day like Hero and Cookie. so we are going to be with them soon!

      • Rebecca

        Thank you for replying. I’m sorry for your loss. It’s exactly that… We have lost our boys 🙁 it’s devastating! I hope one day I will be reunited with him. X

    • Rick Daly

      My Pal died a few days ago after being with me every day for 21 years , I held him while he slowly passed , his lungs filled with fluid and he went limp , I kept holding him for a hour after he went , took his little stuffed mouse and cut his wisker’s off and some of his fur , put them in a baggy and wrapped him in a towel . I buried him next to a new Olive tree in my front yard and kept my baggy of items in my pocket . I’m 64 years old , and have a hard time being a Man about this , I loved that little fellow ! this is a nice place to visit , thank you !

      • Tristan

        Please think of all the good memories you can of him, he had more good days than the bad ones at the end-He loved you so much…keep his spirit alive with how special he was to you-

      • K

        I don’t suspect you’ll read this but if you meant the “being a man” bit, please don’t get sucked into that. It’s not what many women want and it’s BS. Your boy didn’t give a rat’s about it, nor do many people. I’m so sorry about your dude- 21 is a blessing but I know it makes it even more difficult to lose them. I lost my 18 year-old recently and he was “the one” amid many cats I’ve had in my life. Not sure how I’m going to ‘pull up’ yet but it’s a temporary lift to read these posts. I’m glad you were holding him and it sounds as though you likely made his life as good as it could’ve been and took great care of him, given his age. Really hope you can heal well in time.

  • Ally

    I am having a very very hard time with the passing of my beautiful fur baby Ziggy. Ziggy passed away on June 9th, 2016, 4 days after her 19th birthday (she was 9 weeks old when we brought her home). I am 24, so, we have been together most of my life. Since I was 5, I took care of her, I started working at 14 so I could support her by myself without my parents help. Zig had arthritis and some other issues, when I moved into our new condo, I felt in my heart that something wasn’t right and my parents suggested that I should get another cat in case. I went to the Humane Society and adopted an abused cat named Phineas, well to be honest he adopted me, he kind of held onto me and refused to let me go. 4 days later Ziggy passed away. I have tried everything to ease this pain.

    I purchased the Willow Tree figurine, Zigs ashes are in the most beautiful hand craved urn I could find. Her blanket, fav toys collar and ashes are in my living room. I tried talking about her but it still makes me really sad. My mom or dad will bring her up (fond memory) and I will just break down, like am right now. I am trying my best with Phineas (new cat) but he isn’t Ziggy. I cant help but think if I didn’t adopt him, Ziggy would still be here. It has been making me resent him a little. I wake up every morning and still expect to see her laying on the couch. When I don’t see her there, it takes my breath away.

    It hurts, its been 4 months already and it still hurts a ton. My birthday is coming up soon and this is the first birthday in 19 years that she wont be there. I feel like I am falling apart. I just adopted a bunny to see if that would help. I saved her from being someone’s Dinner O_o long story… She has helped a little. She has a lot of Ziggy’s habits (good and bad) so I feel a little better, a little more grounded. Thanks for listening to me.

  • Lindsey

    I feel for everyone who has lost their cat. 2 cats adopted me 4 years again first Beau then his smaller sibling Belle, who was renamed Bel after realising a boy. Last Wednesday I had 2 nearly identical well cats. Bel was my favourite, I didn’t mean to have a favourite because I love them both and I treated them the same but Bel had this character of being so loving, sitting on my lap when I worked, loving to be curled up next to you in bed, always wanting fuss and had the most magnificent soft fur and purr. I real floppy cat and oh so pretty. Beau is handsome as opposed to pretty he likes a fuss when he wants one and that’s generally when he wants food. I do love them both but I adored Bel.

    Thursday Bel seemed a bit offish, Friday worse so a trip to the vets confirmed lymph nodes swollen and a few jabs later whilst purring we came home. Saturday morning he seemed spritelier and tried a bit of food. So I though hey he’s picking up. In the evening when I called him for tea he did not come and I found him at the end of a neighbour’s garden in the long grass, he looked at me as I peered over the fence then put his head back down. I lifted the fence panels and took him in my arms and walked in to the house and placed him on my lap…he curled up and just lay there.

    I got in touch with emergency vets and drove over, after waiting a while we were seen and the vet took some blood. 40 minutes later we had the results and I was told he has the lowest red blood cell count they had ever seen and that the results showed him to be an extremely poorly cat. I went to the vets thinking he would stay in for the night and have a drip to re-hydrate him but I ended up agreeing he should not suffer and him going to sleep.

    He was only 4 and the most wonderful cat. I brought him home as going to bury him in the garden and so the other cat can see him. Bel is on the bed and looks like he is asleep and Beau is at the other end sleeping. I am burying Bel today with some help so will never touch his oh so soft fur and see his pretty face, see his personality and feel him on my lap.

    I have never felt such a bond with a cat it’s the strongest of all the cats I have had he was just so loving. I woke this morning and wished Beau had gone instead which is the most awful thing to think and I feel terrible but as much as I love Beau, I had this amazing soft spot for Bel he was such a character. Has anyone else thought these awful thoughts please?

    I do love Beau and will cherish him, as mentioned he is nearly identical to the other and it was so lovely to have the 2 of them eating breakfast together, either ignoring each other or play fighting or sitting together. I’m just so distraught. I know it will get better as my cat of 18 years died a while back whom I loved dearly but there was something about Bel that he took my heart the most, I didn’t chose to love him the most he was just him he was amazing and I haven’t ever loved a pet as much as I loved him.

    He’s not poorly now as with all our cats they are at peace and although I am not a religious person the Laurie’s thought above of him in an angel’s arms is wonderful because he would love that having a cuddle and a fuss.

    Love and best wishes to anyone mourning their pet. At least we were lucky enough to spend time with such wonderful creatures; they made our lives better and will be dearly missed.

    • Aria Saremi

      as horrible as your thought might sound you have no control over it. thoughts come and go through everybody’s mind and it is pretty natural what you think. don’t blame yourself for it and accept your thought. you will eventually get relived and love Beau even more. I lost my cat 5 months ago when he was only 1. my Cookie got hit by a car and he was the sweetest kitty. I used to be much more upset at the beginning but now I think about him less and honestly sometimes I feel guilty that I’m getting better. I think he and our father-son relationship deserve me to be thinking about him and grieve like the first day all the time. but this is nature and that’s how the flow of life takes us. we have no control over our feelings and just need to embrace them. so just embrace your feelings towards Beau and let time heal you.

  • Shelagh Smith

    I lost my kitty this week – on Wednesday and I am heartbroken. He had taken to drinking from our landlord’s pool and my husband said watch out, Harvey, don’t fall in. Well sadly and tragically he did. I blame myself for not checking on him. He was a special needs cat – he couldn’t jump very high and didn’t have much use of his back legs – he managed the bed and the couch, but that was it. I’m guessing that he was drinking and lost his balance. I wish that I had checked on him sooner, but I assumed that he was just sunning himself. If, if, if ………….. I can never forgive myself for this. He was my buddy, my life and my love. I even brought him over from South Africa to Australia when I migrated at the end of last year. Honestly don’t know what I will do without him. My little precious

    • Zam

      I’m so so sorry for your loss. I’ve been going through a lot of answers trying to find someone with a similar story to mine. We just moved into a new house, terraced on one side. And one of our two cats, a very shy, untouchable kind of fella (we were never able to stroke him except when we were in bed with our bodies under the duvet), disappeared one day after about a fortnight of intense hiding in the day and desperate meowing at night (where the hell am i!). I truly thought he was out there growing a pair, living a big adventure, and that he would come back an assertive, easy to pat big guy. I did see him a couple of nights after he left (my other cat gave me the signal), he was at the back door, looking so handsome. I opened the door for him but the sound gave him a fright and he vanished. I hate myself now for not letting the door open…
      Time went by… Here we were with my 5yr old daughter talking about the big cat parties he was having like in the aristocats. Until monday. Our neighbours came back for their usual fall holiday (it’s their holiday home). They waited for our daughter to be in school to tell us they had found a dead cat lying in their kitchen, which was now in a garbage bag out back. I knew it was our little guy, they confirmed it was a tabby. Sent my husband to check, sure enough it was our Zizou. No!!!!! He died of dehydration, I can’t breathe..
      I can’t imagine how painful that must have been. Organs shutting down one by one, slowly, alone. He must have called out to us, but the windows and shutters were closed. The neighbours said there were signs of him searching for water, my heart just stopped. The shock is huge. The guilt even greater. I really thought this would be a new start for him, instead he picked the wrong house. Zizou was 8yrs old. RIP little guy.
      I am oh so sad.

  • Adam

    My parents got my sister and I cats in 1999, Snowball male and Kiki female. They both lived till they where fifteen. They both died both lived long lives. They both died 4 years ago. It’s still hard even after all this time. Snowball was my best friend for such a long time but all I can do is remember him as he was a fat cat who loved to sit in my lap as I petted him. He would always follow me around the house wanting to get petted but unlike most I’m lucky he left behind a son who takes after him in so many ways.

  • Cynthia H

    This afternoon, I had to put down my beloved Mia.

    I adopted her and her brother just over 13 years ago.
    She was always a very little cat, looked more like a 9 month old kitten than a senior cat. Her and her brother were semi-feral when I adopted them, but with love and care, they both became very affectionate to us and people they got to know.

    About 3 months ago, she was diagnosed with an cancerous tutor on her lungs and a heart condition. It was a matter of keeping her comfortable and monitoring her quality of life, both conditions were terminal. She was such a little fighter, she just kept keeping on, was eating, drinking, using the box and trying to keep up her normal routine.

    But last night, her little body gave out, she was coughing up blood all night and this morning would not eat, drink or walk around. It was time, I could see it in her eyes she was still fighting it but that she was scared and in pain.

    My own pain right now is enormous. She was my daughter and I loved her more than I can say. I will miss her so much. I have to be strong for her brother, who is like my son, but right now it is very, very hard. I hope that time will be the great healer.

    I keep thinking of the Joan Baez song:

    I never dreamed you’d leave in summer
    I thought you would go then come back home
    I thought the cold would leave by summer
    But my quiet nights will be spent alone
    You said there would be warm love in springtime
    That was when you started to be cold
    I never dreamed you’d leave in summer
    But now I find myself all alone
    You said then you’d be alive in autumn
    Then you said you’d be the one to see the way
    No, no no no no I never dreamed you’d leave in summer
    But now I find my love has gone away
    Why didn’t you stay?

    Thank you Kristen Nelson for your post of how to deal with the loss of a beloved pet.

  • Ariana

    I forgot to add, Comfie lived to be 11 years and 9 months. We had her cremated and I have her cremains in a heart shaped urn. I lay it on my chest to comfort me. It has helped knowing shes back home with her family. God bless you all.

  • Ariana

    It is comforting to read these as my cat passed away early this morning. Her name was Comfie. We adopted her when she was just 4 months old and I was 10 years old. I grew up with her. This past friday I took her to the vet because she had puffy sides and I learned she had fluid in her abdomen. They drained the fluid and then say with an xray she had a tumor. They took blood, and I have not received the results yet and now it doesn’t matter. My sweet baby dies today. She probably had cancer. They gave her an antibiotic called covenia and looking back I would have said no as it stays in the body too long and if they have a reaction theres no way to take it back. The day we got back from the vet she was weak. I assumed she would feel better the next day. But each day she became weaker. She had to take breaks to walk. She only drank water. Didnt use her litterbox. So we force fed her to help her. But last night she couldn’t walk anymore. She just laid on the blanket breathing. I petted her and talked to her. Then she didnt blink or react to any touch, just slow breathing. I had hope since we fed her she’d bounce back in the morning. Well around 2am my mom went to check on her and told me she passed. Im so heartbroken. All i can do is cry. I have barely ate. She was my best friend. Always there for me. When you adopt a pet you don’t think of the end. Its horrible. My sweet kitty died in her sleep and im glad she died in her home and im glad God didnt let her suffer. I know shes in heaven now but it hurts so much. My sweet Comfie. I hope this helps someone else who is grieving. That there are others who get it. I get it. It hurts so bad. She will always be missed. I love you Comfie. So much.

  • Tizzy

    Thank you so much for this page, Laurie. I’ve read a lot of different webpages today on coping with the loss of my kitten, and after a long and painful day, this has been an herbal nightcap for me. I currently can’t bear to read everyone else’s stories, but I bookmarked this page for later.

    My 4-month old kitty, Chai, died in my arms this afternoon. An adorable thing of gray and white. Alternately silly and a napper. We adopted him from a partially domesticated litter and spoiled him with love and affection. Over the past five days, Chai went from being an excited kitty to peeing outside the litter-box to being lethargic… to not eating and barely walking. This morning, I awoke early to bring him to the vet, who said Chai’s problem was neurological. The vet gave me some medicine to give Chai before a follow-up appointment. But Chai was fully paralyzed 2 hours later, and after a small seizure, his heartbeat faded. I’m still in shock. Last night, I was cuddling him, praying for his healing, and now he’s gone?

    I’m all over the place emotionally. One minute I’m thinking of happy memories, but the next I’m crying my eyes out. It’s not fair yet it’s not about fairness. Chai was my own little toddler. This was the first time I had ever been so close to a pet. It’s a new territory of grief for me, and I just want to thank you for your reinforcing encouragement.

    Thank you for telling me to give myself permission to feel this pain and grieve how I need. Thank you for saying it’s okay to say, “I miss him,” because I’ve been saying it a lot and somewhat worried I’ve been saying it too much. Thank you for the wise reminder not to dwell on the pain of loss itself… and also for saying it’s okay to gently distract myself. Well said. My family members are grieving in their own ways, and I’m humbled by the reminder to be gentle with them, too, even though they aren’t expressing themselves the way I would.

    My heart hurts (and my face from crying so much). But I think of how much Chai delighted me, and then I remember that God delights in us. If God delights in us – such complicated, stubborn humans – then I know God delights in the adorable, playful kitties He created. After all, He knows when even one sparrow falls. I’m trying to take comfort in that. I don’t know how to end this comment, because I’m about to tough out my first night without Chai and am somewhat dreading the morning. One step at a time. Thank you again!

  • Tristan Nadine

    I feel everyone’s loss right now-No one will understand a cats passing, it’s not like a human, not at all, it’s far worse…

    I had to put down Kalik Monday morning, she was almost 17, 2 months shy of her birthday-

    She was a talkative, fun, feisty Tortie-She was my constant for almost 17 years-Heartbreak, moves, new jobs etc. she was there, as is her brother, Jager the Weimaraner who is 16 and he has health issues 🙁

    Her issues were from thyroid and kidney disease, which I took care of with Px food and I gave her Sub Q IV fluid every other day, then in January learned she needed potassium pills 2x daily-But she’d have moments where she’d puke or not eat, which I’ve learned if a cat hasn’t eaten by 2-3 days, serious side effects will take place-As well if they are dehydrated they will get constipated and if constipated they really can’t eat and will puke….

    But the big thing was August 1st, we were laying on the couch, she was curled up passed out next to me-She jumped up like something spooked her, then started going in circles then had a seizure-
    Vet said this was not good for a cat of her age, means stroke or brain tumor-I couldn’t afford the $2500 MRI so we assumed stroke, even took her to a neurologist-But within these last 22 days, the poor thing…already taking potassium pills, now anti-seizure Px, IV daily to make sure she was getting hydrated-The 1st med made her so drugged she could barely walk, that was heart breaking-
    The 2nd wasn’t supposed to give her any side effects but she was still lethargic, compared to her tearing off running a lot and how vocal she was-

    Sat. night I saw she really stopped eating, as well she peed outside her litter box on the rug, then again I saw she did it-In her entire life she’s never had an accident-So I ran to PetCo got different litter and litter box-She used it easier but then she started eating the litter 🙁 I made her stop, pulled it up and read that when a cat is eating cat litter, it is a very bad sign-

    Sun. I tried to get her to eat some food, dropped the little pellets in her mouth, made me happy she had something in her belly, but then at 2:30, she started puking and she didn’t stop, just white foam at the end-But she would collapse afterwards, it broke my heart-

    Mon morning as soon as the vet opened I was there with her, and when the vet asked the tech to leave and turned to me teary eye, I knew it was not good-She said “Tristan, Kalik is very, very sick, I am very concerned, this is cancer” my only option was to get another IV in her, hydrate her, give her cerenia shot, then put her under anesthesia to get a feeding tube in her-Since she stopped eating Sat. her liver was now a concern, the vet could see jaundice starting-

    I had her in my arms and knew getting IV’s in her, a feeding tube was not right-The vet said she was so sick she didn’t think anesthesia would even work, but she had to have food in her stomach right away-

    I decided to put her to sleep, the vet said if it was her cat she wouldn’t do anything different, that I was helping her-I couldn’t be greedy and bring her home as she was starving to death, severely dehydrated and in misery-I couldn’t stop kissing her and tears were falling over Kalik in the vet room, but she was wrapped in my baby blanket I bought her, looking so beautiful and sleeping-She was just so out of it, just heart breaking to see when you are used to a feisty cat-

    I came home and collapsed on the floor and laid where I monitored her the night before, bawling and then I screamed crying “I want her back…” over and over again-The pain is absolutely unreal-
    I look around and think I see her, or I see her litter box, food bowl, water and I can’t touch it…

    I’ve lost my father, and other family members but this pain is like no other, I truly feel like a piece of me is gone-

    I ordered a necklace with a “K” as a reminder, as well getting a ring made with her name-I thought about also getting the Cuddle Clone thing done, where they make a stuff animal out of your cats image-To have that to squeeze, it might help me, but maybe it will hurt more? If anyone has done this let me know-

    I now have to focus 100% on my 16 year old Weimaraner, he needs me-But there is a change in my place, it’s different and I feel different-I’ve lost something, a part of me, it’s gone, and it’s her-For 6 lbs, she had a huge personality and filled me and place with so much love-

    I’m in agony right now, this is so hard-

    • Aria Saremi

      so sorry to hear that 🙁 I lost my cat 5 month ago when he was 1! he was like my son and I loved him so much. still miss him so much sometimes and I wish he has here with me. we just need to go through this!

    • Rosanne

      I am so so sorry to hear about you losing the love of your life your kitten. I feel your pain and it is so devastating. I wish I could help I just lost my cat who was 19 years and 8 months old. I can’t even begin to tell you how bad my stomach hurts I think of him every minute that goes by. Like you I was crying please come home. I found some comfort by finding some beautiful pictures of him and I’m going to have made larger and place around the house I just really need to see him right now. I am so grateful for this wonderful site where we can share our. I miss you’s. Hope you feel some comfort soon my heart goes out to you and your baby. May God Bless you both

  • Rebecca Richardson

    My cat died today. I had to have him put to sleep due to bladder cancer. He has had FLUTD for a about 5 years but it had been getting progressively worse over the past 6 months. He had an ultrasound in January after he was hospitalized with a particularly bad bought of the disease. It was decided today that an ultrasound should be done again and a large mass was found. My consolation is that he was 14 and had a good life. But coming home today and seeing evidence of his life all around the house is just a reminder of how painful it is to lose someone.

  • Crystal M.

    Thank you all for your compassionate stories of losing your beloved pet. I just lost my Gypsy this morning. It has only been 4 hours since she passed and I am dying inside. She was a 13 yo, beautiful diluted calico. She was my daughter, my best friend. She always waited by the front picture window to greet me when I got home. We would play hide and seek, she loved watching YouTube videos of birds, she had all these little quirks that made everyone love her. She helped raise Simon and Lucy. She never left my side. Gypsy was so healthy and vibrant on Sunday then she stopped eating on Tuesday, took her to the vet Wednesday. Found out her immune system was killing off her red blood cells, also known as IMHA. She was put on steroids and antibiotic. She ate and drank alittle bit yesterday morning. But after 2pm, she went down hill real fast. She no longer lifted her head or meowed at me. I slept downstairs with her and checked on her ever hour. 4 am she was ok, she chirped when i touched her, gave a kiss on her head. At 615 am, she was gone. I’m glad she went in her sleep at home where she was comfortable and loved while Simon watched over her, because I would have had to made the decision to put her down today. Gyps Gyps, my honey bunny – I will always love you and thank you for giving me the best 10 years of your life. I hope you enjoy it where you are.

  • Laurie Post author

    There is no pain like the sharp grief of missing a cat. I am so sorry for your loss. Your home and heart will never be the same – cats leave gaping holes in our lives!

    Give yourself time to grieve, to process the pain, and to remember your cat with love and sadness. Soon your pain will fade, and your memories will be more sweet than bitter. You’ll never full “get over” the pain of missing your cat – I miss my cat even now, and it’s been almost 15 years – but the grief fades.

    In sympathy,

  • Goldy

    I am so sad. Not even my mother knows what I’m going through. My pet got infected by a parasite that kills blood cells, and the way he got it was from a stray living in our bush. Its different when your cat is only 2 years old. I want to keep him alive.

  • Diane Robinson

    I found my cat when he was a kitten off the side of a major highway. At the time, I had a Samoyed, with me and I picked him up and brought him home. He was always skittish and hid from strangers. I had him for ten years and got another kitty who some people were trying to give away. When I moved to Maine, I took my other cat to the vet and he escaped. I found his hiding place but couldn’t draw him out. Like an idiot, I put a harness of Mitt and went to the home where Felix was hiding. The owner of the house came toward me and Mitt squirmed out of the harness and took off into the woods. I stayed at the house til after midnight and Felix finally came to me. I worried about him because he had a bladder problem. I left a poster at an elderly housing area across the woods from where Mitt escaped and they spotted him. I bought a trap, but the man who notified me told me Mitt kept walking through it (wished I had gotten the kind that had one entry because this one didn’t always work right.) One day, he showed up and as he neared the trap, it went off prematurely and scared him off. The man told me he would show up in the mornings, so I would sit and watch for him, but he didn’t tell me that Mitt would come out a night. The man told me one day after I hadn’t seen him that he heard a fight in the woods the night before, but I didn’t find a trace of any fur. I keep thinking so many ways I may have caught him and it haunts me before I feel so guilty about using his a a decoy. I still cry when I think of him as the tiny kitten on the side of the highway. I don’t know if I’ll every forgive myself and ache not knowing what happened to him.

    • Zam

      Oh Diane, don’t be too hard on yourself. You feel terribly guilty, I understand, but you know, what’s done is done. Mitt is out there somewhere. The cat fight at night?… Well, if Mitt was involved, think of it as good, it means he fought back. He’s not lifeless.
      Hope you find your four legged friend and that you can all be reunited very soon.

  • Nadia

    I lost my cat today. Her name was Luna. I’m a wreck! She got hit by a car and I found her a few hours later . She was my best friend, my baby, my heart and soul. I’m completely devastated beyond words. I’m unsure how to move on. She gave me so much joy and love. This past morning before I found her dead. I told her I loved her and she kissed me on my face. And that was it. She’s gone. Thanks to the bastard who was speeding down my street and killed her. My neighbors have cameras and pulled it. They came over right away and showed my family and I the video. It was so horrible I couldn’t watch . To see her suffer that way :*(I miss her so much

    • siddy

      hey nadia, i lost my cat and best buddy yesterday, he died in my arms, the vet was going to come to put him to sleep some hours later.
      im so very sorry to hear what happened to emma, ill send my prayers to your baby too.

    • Aria Saremi

      my cat died at the age of 1 almost 5 months ago. he got hit by a car. I’m still depressed and miss him so much. actually a few weeks ago a kitten was run over by a car right in front of me! it was horrible, I had to pull over to drag him to side of the road. his head was crushed but his legs were still moving! :(( I think my cat might have gone through the same thing. it’s unbelievable how much love you and your pet feel towards each other! only time can heal us!

    • martina

      I lost my sweet little boy today. He was hit by a car in front of my house, still so warm and soft when I found him.. His name was Pierce and he was the cuddliest and most special pet I ever had.. I’m crying my eyes out. I love him and miss him so much..cannot bear the fact he won’t be sleeping next to me tonight, or ever again..

      • Celeste

        I know the pain of having your baby hit by a car. My sweet Thomas was the sweetest cat I’ve ever owned. He showed up at our house when he was about 2 months old and meowed and meowed for me to take him inside. We have a border collie but they seemed to tolerate each other pretty well. Thomas was just so cool – he would skirt past Mollie (our dog) and just flop on the tiles as if to say “whatever doggie, I live here too”. Every night and morning he would cuddle with me on the bed. He’d see my car come in the driveway and make a beeline for the house so he could greet me. We went away for a couple of trips and I worried about him because we had a doggie door and he was determined to be an outdoor/indoor cat. But even when we were away for nearly 2 weeks he was waiting for us on top of my husband’s truck like “I was wondering when you’d get back”. UGH! He was in the house and blinking and meowing at me around 6pm or so and I pet him like I always do. Not half an hour later my neighbor knocked on my door and said her friend hit a cat and she was pretty sure it was ours. I was in denial. She said it was orange. I was still in denial. I asked if it had white feet. She said yes. Oh goodness… this happened on Nov 7th and I’m still crying about it. He was only a year and a half old.
        So unfair. So young, so sudden, so unexpected. Such a sweet boy. My baby boy. Thanks for all the stories. Difficult to read but helpful. Love and hugs to you all.

  • Nicole

    Yesterday morning I woke up to find my 12 year old cat Emma barely Breathing. The night before she was fine. I am living with so much guilt thinking she suffered the whole night wihtout me. I found her under my basement stairs on a cold hard concrete
    floor. It took my husband and I five minutes to be able to reach her. And when he finally pulled her out I was scared to pick her up. I was scared of hurting her bC her cries were so painful and she was so swollen that I compleletly lost it. We wrapped her in a blanket and I drove looking for the first open vet bc it was only 8am and my vet was closed. After X-rays and an examination the vet told me if it were cat she would put her to sleep. They couldn’t even tell what happened to her bc of bad the edema was. My 7 year old was with me and then my husband came With our two little ones shortly after. She was also severely
    Dehydrated which breaks my Heart. I have two other cats so it’s almost impossible for me to
    Know who is eating or drinking and how much. I just can’t get over the guilt of not holding her and not being with her or not seeing any signs. Please say a prayer for my angel.

  • Tricia

    My cats death was tragic. Sudden. Unexpected. Wed June 29th my world came crashing down. Her name was Puff. I was outside.. had to run in.. next thing there was a lady banging on my door.. asking if I had a calico cat, that she just hit a cat. My heart sank, I jetted to the road and there was my baby. Alive and crushed. I began to cry hysterically. Thing ppl don’t get at 33 I became a widow, my animals are my world. My kids are now grown. I have no friends. We live down a country road..I left her for only a few minutes.. why didn’t I bring her inside. I hate myself. My 20 year old son ran out, in tears. We raced to the vets 25 minutes away. Her body was broken. 3 limbs were not in tact. I CANNOT get that image out of my mind. I got to vets, it was after hours. Couldn’t find him, and he lives next door. A cattle man out back tried to call him, no answer. He said I will jump in my truck and go get him. I said she won’t make it that long!!!!! She’s dying!! She took a few gasps and died. I am beside myself. 4 days I’m still crying my eyes out. We came home, wrapped her in a little blanket, placed her in a box with plastic wrapped around it. We buried her, she’s so beautiful I can’t tell you. My son carried a huge flat creek rock laid it on top..got a big tire with a rim.. made it all pretty. We planted flowers in it. Flowers that attract butterflies. She loved butterflies. There’s a solar light with butterflies that the print talks about sending love to heaven. there’s a ceramic blue bird in the flowers and a fiber optic butterflies. We put creek rocks all around the tire.. I have two other cats. One is 17 and his kidneys are starting to go. And a 14 year old maine coon. This Kitty was my baby. She was 3. She made me laugh with her craziness. I miss her so much, and it’s all my fault. I had a construction guy here today. I’m building a 150 ft fence with rollers are top. You can’t climb out. This will never happen again. Ever. I should’ve done it sooner. Now I hate myself. Hate hate myself. I will never forgive myself..ever.

    • Linda Schwarzenberg

      so very sorry for your loss, she sounded like a wonderful cat, just lost mine also, we all feel guilt bc we loved them and they were like our children and I feel like I should have protected him. I wish you all the best, she isn’t in pain anymore and knew you loved her. Love never dies. xx

  • Thasmera

    I just lost my beloved cat yesterday ,his name is Dazzle. My little sister called him PinkyPie lovingly. Its the hardest thing i have been through. Although i have been through it twice. I hate a white cat named Tutty 2 years back,and only last year we decided to get two more for my sisters. Tutty wasn’t very happy with the. He was very fond of leaving home for a couple of days and returning. One morning he just didn’t return. It was too hard to go through it because i had the other cats. It was lik a habit for all three of my cats to sleep outside no matter what. Sometimes we would chase them out if they had done something really wrong. I feel guilty about that. Yesterday i called for Dazzle since 6 pm until about 9. He just didn’t come. The next morning we found him outside my window,frozen…To death! :'( ! His body was in a position as if he strived to come home and i felt so terrible to have to feel his stiff body if he was alive. I stayed in my hws and screamed in tears. Never before had i thought of losing him. I feel so guilty like its my fault. It probably is for all i know. My story is much different from the rest above. I feel like the most horrible person.

    Dazzle was a very likable nd cuddly cat. He just loved a back scratch. He occasionally or all the time enjoyd sleeping near my feet which was odd bt he never moved from there,part of his characteristics. We all loved him so much. He was my best friend when i cried. If ever i tear on the couch he would jump on my lap and sit. He was so much to me.He still is. I miss him so much that my eyes are thick from endless crying.
    I have learnt something that all of you should know,God creates us and he can take us away at any time. The point is to be happy no matter what yet still grieve for the loss of a loved one but bare in mind that they are in a happy place out of misery and waiting for us to join them.

    RIP my baby! I love u so much. I will miss you every day and in every moment you will be in my thoughts!!! :* :'( 🙁

  • Laurie Post author

    Never are there any easy or fast ways to cope with the pain of missing your cat. Grief is painful and so sad. Eventually your heart will heal and you’ll feel your spirit lighten up again…in the meantime, it might help to read pet loss books.

    For me, just crying helps. I have to go through the dark pain of grief before the light freedom of healing starts to creep in.

    You WILL feel better, your heart will heal. It just takes time. Let yourself grieve your own way. I find writing helps a lot, and believing that my lost cats are in God’s hands now.

    In sympathy,

  • Rachelle T. Nash

    To Jessica,
    Re: Her beloved, precious Janvier

    My mo-mo ..we lost him suddenly on tuesday and i cleaned his litter but will not remove his food or water… & drink my coffee out of the mug ( washed) where he strained to take his last sips of water before his kidneys failed..
    I can barely breathe but sweetheart..
    Dont you, for one second ..feel that its pathetic that you havent just cleaned up as if Janvier was nothing.
    Thats your little Angel and you hold on and leave things how they are and where they are as long as you need to..its nobodys business and no one else decides what YOU need to feel any comfort you can..
    My litter and food will stay as long as i need. Its my loss and pain and love for mo-mo…
    So know that you definately arent alone in the agonizing pain…and i will keep you in my prayers.
    It took courage to share and you helped me to breathe into the next moment.
    God bless you & Janvier & your family…
    Xo, Rachelle, my son jj …& mo-mo?

  • Addison

    We just had to put my sweet little black kitty, Niko, down. We had gotten him at the end of May last year from the humane society. He was a mangy little thing with what appeared to be cut-off whiskers. He was so teeny and only about three months old. My entire family fell in love with him instantly. Within about three days of having him he started wheezing every time he took a breath, so we took him in to the vet. He had a respiratory infection (which is common in young cats). He responded well to the antibiotics and got better within a couple of days. We nursed him back to health and eventually got some meat on his bones. Throughout this last year he has brought so much joy into our lives. He kept us on our toes and constantly laughing. My little guy was so sweet and loving and had so much life in him. Things were great up until a couple months ago when he started peeing on our floors instead of in his litter box. We tried changing the litter, but he still continued to pee wherever he pleased, which was odd because we had never had this issue before. It was annoying yes, but nobody thought much of it until earlier this month. He had started drinking a ton of water and being very lethargic, which was very unlike him. He was not easily roused and didn’t even beg to go outside anymore. His food consumption dropped every day and he lost several pounds (he was already scrawny to begin with so at this point he looked very unhealthy). We took him to the vet and she told us that his right kidney was inflamed and his urine test came back as an UTI- we treated it with antibiotics. We decided not to have his blood run because we just didn’t think spending $100 more on another test was necessary. He perked up quite a bit, but he still was not himself. He wasn’t eating his normal amount of food and started eating his litter which was a sign of anemia often associated with renal failure. After his medicine was gone, he began to show more signs of kidney failure. He was lethargic, hardly eating, consuming so much water, peeing everywhere (mainly because he lost control of his bladder), eating even more litter, and vomiting. We knew at this point that it was not an infection and that he was deteriorating. I had left last Tuesday for a camp and returned yesterday. My mom had said that he wasn’t eating or drinking and it could just be depression since I had been gone for five days, so we all were holding out hope that he bounce back. I had gotten home around 5pm and around 8:30 he started vomiting up stuff that was not his food, being that he hadn’t eaten anything in several hours. It was horrifying to see my six pound kitten so vulnerable and miserable. After this had happened I knew that he was not going to get any better. We couldn’t take him to the clinic because they were closed that weekend and our vet was out of town. At about 9 he was unable to walk without falling over because of his fatigue. I made a pallet on the floor and laid him on it and I laid next to him. I was already so sleep deprived from being at camp, I don’t know how I made it to 2am and then waking up at 5. Watching him lay there so helpless was absolutely heartbreaking. Nobody thought he would make it through the night, but sure enough, he did. I prayed and prayed that he would be healed or that Jesus would take him peacefully. He made no improvement over the next 12 hours. He continued to lay there and then every so often try to walk/ crawl to his water bowl, only to hover his head over it and then fall because he was too weak to do it on his own. We helped him stand up without falling and helped him stand over his bowls with no success of consuming what was in them. He would let out little meows as he laid there completely exhausted. The emergency animal hospital charged $90 for the just the euthanization. That is not including the sedative, and just the visit in general. It was just too much to pay so we decided to have a close family friend put him out of his misery. It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make. I just could not stand to see him like that for another night. In his last couple of hours he appeared to be delirious, meowing and stumbling to his water dish and letting his face fall in it. This was probably one of the saddest things I have ever had to witness. Around 8pm we all said our tearful goodbyes and thanked him for the happiness he had brought to all of us. He had fought so hard to stay with us, we just couldn’t let him suffer any longer. It has been insanely difficult to hold back tears. I keep expecting to see him jump up on my bed and lay down to show me that he was ready for bed. Losing my little guy has been so so hard. I did not think losing a pet would be so painful. I think the reason I have been so incredibly affected by this is because Niko had never done me wrong. He was loyal, and a constant in my life. He loved my family so very much and as terrible as his last days were, I am happy he waited until I got back from camp so I could say my goodbye and hold him one last time, as selfish as that sounds. Regardless of the number of times I have bawled in these last two days, I am so grateful that he is in a much better place, misery free.
    Until we see each other again, Niko, I love you more than you know. I have cherished this last year with you and I choose to remember you as the fun loving kitty you were before you had to endure this sickness. You were such fighter who loved his family. Thank you.
    With deep love and compassion for you, baby Neeks, your owner, -A

  • Katie james

    I lost my cat milo last night. He was in a neighbours garden and her dog chased him so he ran up onto her roof and fell off im so heartbroken at the moment i dont know what to do i have 2 others but he was part of the family. We have buried him at the bottom of the garden but dont want to. Go out there. How can i recover from this

  • Laurie Post author

    I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a cat is a sad and heartwrenching experience, and our lives are never the same.

    Here’s a lovely poem to memorialize your cat. You’ll cry – and your tears will help you heal.

    Poem For Cats
    Author Unknown

    And God asked the feline spirit
    Are you ready to come home?
    Oh, yes, quite so, replied the precious soul
    And, as a cat, you know I am most able
    To decide anything for myself.

    Are you coming then? asked God.
    Soon, replied the whiskered angel
    But I must come slowly
    For my human friends are troubled
    For you see, they need me, quite certainly.

    But don’t they understand? asked God
    That you’ll never leave them?
    That your souls are intertwined. For all eternity?
    That nothing is created or destroyed?
    It just is….forever and ever and ever.

    Eventually they will understand,
    Replied the glorious cat
    For I will whisper into their hearts
    That I am always with them
    I just am….forever and ever and ever.

    • Leo

      Laurie, thank you for this wonderful poem. There are very few words that make one feel a tinge of hope after losing a cat, and this poem manages to do that!

      I lost my baby of just 4 years old yesterday from a lymphoma in her kidneys. She didn’t suffer too much as I took the decision to ease her pain and put her down immediately but the grief is unbearable. She was my only companion for a very long time as I also worked for home, she was always with me. She helped me get through my depression, by giving me reasons to continue fighting and living and trying to be a better person. Now that I finally got better she’s gone and I fear I may not know how to deal with life without her. Just having an ounce of hope that she’s out there still looking out for me is incredibly comforting – that is how she was, she knew that I needed her and she was there for me unselfishly and never asking for anything other than love. What a truly ‘glorious cat’ she really was.

  • jayjo

    I lost my precious Puka Shell three and a half weeks ago. It feels as if the tears will never cease falling. 17 years of bright blue eyes, powder soft white and grey fur, and the most songlike purr I’ve ever heard a cat produce. I was just 7 years old when this tiny, 2 pound fluffball entered my life. And though I had a cat that heavily favored me and this cottonball, dubbed Puka after much deliberation, leaned towards my mother’s affections, over the years we became unequivocally inseparable. She went from “the family cat” to “Jamie’s cat,” especially as other pets passed on… all my love had to go somewhere. And that love nestled into Puka and grew into a garden of the most beautiful kind. I struggle(d) with major depression and anxiety, beginning at the onset of pubescence and slowly ruining my existence since, and Puka would purr and purr and purr whenever I was even a little upset. She was the kind of cat who loved everyone, loved to be in the center of everything, but she always came to my door first.

    She was always happy. Always happy to see me, which, unfortunately, is a rarity in the human world. Puka never failed to greet me at the door until her body wouldn’t allow her to walk. This cat was almost effectively nonvocal aside from purring (and the way she purred sounded like she was simultaneously humming-it was divine). She was a Himalayan (blue point) and her nose never really grew, which sometimes meant she made a small noise when breathing. I still think I hear her breathing noises at night. I hear them in my dreams, along with her purr. Those cruel, cruel dreams.

    When Puka was 11-12, she was diagnosed with chronic renal failure. We also had a cancer scare in trying to find out what was wrong and I cried for ages at the thought of losing her. I would go on to have many tearful nights just thinking about losing my very best friend. But Puka just purred her happy purr, comforting me when I was trying to comfort her. I did what I could to keep the CRF at bay, and I can at least take comfort in that. And that, somehow, between her little body and my efforts, we had another 5 solid years together.

    The disease slowly but relentlessly robbed her body of all fat and muscle. She went from a slim 8 pounds to a frail 4 pounds over these years. When her time came, she went from trotting down the hall to all at once struggling to walk a step. As cats are so insanely compensatory, it would turn out that she had but 4 days remaining. It was as sudden as it wasn’t; I knew she couldn’t have had that much longer, but she always acted like she couldn’t be stopped. I had a feeling that this was it yet my mind clung to a blind optimism that she might recover. When I tried to call the vet, I got out two words before choking on sudden sobs. Thank goodness they were so patient. There was much deliberation between us and the ever so wonderful vet. He said that Puka was not in pain, but, of course, euthanasia was on the table. We discussed letting her go naturally and laid out a plan in case she was in pain. Got her some fluids to ease the incoming difficulty of drinking. I am so thankful for the time I had to say goodbye to the darling little cat whom if I did not have, I would have caved into the world’s pressures and I would not exist today.

    After the vet, for the next 3 days, I would not leave my beloved Puka’s side for more than a restroom break or a 3-minute shower. Puka was in swift decline, and it wouldn’t be long before struggled to stay upright and eventually laid down for good. I soaked her lush white coat in tears so many times. Her last meal was turkey mash with ice cream for dessert. She laid on plush blankets, wrapped up to stay warm, with a heater as necessary. I pet every inch of her, trying to commit every sweet and innocent curve, paw pad, or strand of fur to memory. Turned her hoping to avoid her faint squeaks of discomfort (thinking of how she sounded so weak is countless daggers through my heart). Brushed her gently. Took in her sweet scent. Lifted her perfect little head with the most delicate of hands. Cried and cried. Kissed her little pink toes and the softest spot between her ears. She was peaceful. Purring until she was too weak. She grew ever more languid, but always looked comfortable…

    Those 4 days kind of melt together as one; I didn’t sleep for long when I was able to sleep at all.

    Puka took her final breath at around 3 a.m. on April 29th. I didn’t know pain like this existed until she left me. Puka was my source of comfort for every wrong in the world and, instantly, I was alone and I was lost, lost beyond comprehension. There, my best friend, my sister, my daughter, my ultimate comfort, and the very being that made life worth living, passed away in my arms, in this bed, in this room, in my love. And though the wound isn’t as shocking as it was when it first opened, it is endlessly sore. And every hour that passes I find myself missing her further. For the vast majority of my life, I would reach out and hug this cat. That urge is going to take along time to dissolve. But now all I have is a self to hate, no one to love, and endless tears.

    Puka Shell, you were perfect. May you rest in serene peace. I love you. I miss you.

    • ray

      i just lost my baby of 16 years. He died alone and away from family and home… i wish you the best in your recovery. The journey will be long and hard for everyone who have loved a cat as you and I have.

      I am empty and my days are aimless…… push on.. push on.. push on forward

    • Tristan Nadine

      I’m crying reading this, as you can see from my post up top-When she was ailing, the night before I took her to the vet-I didn’t even take a shower, I made sure I was right there-If she started puking I’d be right there to lift her little body for it exhausted her and she’d collapse-I’d kiss her all over and her toes, belly etc. At the vet, before I put her down, I did that, I kissed all her toes, her head, her belly and lost it-I couldn’t breath, couldn’t speak, just horrible-Like you she was my everything, I work from home, she was my daughter, I’m not having children, she was my alive teddy bear for I could carry her anyway, and she loved it-

      I’ll go lay in the bed and the blanket she laid on, I’ll kiss the spot she always laid on-Same with the living room blanket-The pain is so immense, so very immense it makes me sick-I hope you are doing the best you can, I’m so sorry for your loss, I am so very sorry-

    • Spencer

      Well written, you have just wrote near word for word the relationship I have with my Barns, who after 16 years had to be out down two days ago to cancer. The world is a horrible place, and my cat barns was a shining sun. I will never, never get over this. I’m heartbroken, Devastated beyond all measure.

  • Lynda

    I had to say goodbye to my cat yesterday, and I miss her so much I can’t breathe. She was coughing and for weeks I thought it was a hairball she couldn’t get out, but she had started losing weight. I thought it was a good thing for a while, as she had been overweight. But when I took her to the vet, the x-ray showed lung cancer which had spread. The tumor was wrapped around her esophagus and there was no viable treatment. I couldn’t have afforded it anyway. So, I took her home with me and we had another 3 weeks. She had lost an incredible amount of weight–from 15 down to 10 pounds, and she was a very large-boned cat. Her skin was hanging off her. I could feel every bone in her little body. Her muscles had wasted to nothing. I want to die when I think how frail she was. My poor baby. She couldn’t eat much without getting sick. For a couple of weeks, I was able to hand feed her and syringe fluids to keep her going. This last week was bad, though. She stopped hanging out on the chair by the window, which is where she loved to sit and watch the world go by. She started sitting in the closet, which she had never done before, or under the bed. Even trying to get a small amount of water down her throat made her regurgitate. She couldn’t swallow and was constantly drooling, and her fur was matted with drool. I just wanted to hold on a little longer. My god, I miss her. I found an in-home vet who supplied me with subcutaneous fluids and an ear gel to administer prednisone without making her sick, but while the fluids seemed to help for a day or so, the prednisone did nothing. Even the last night I had her with me, I gave her more fluids but they didn’t really even absorb. She was just going downhill fast. The next to last day, she did sit in the window for a little while. I emailed the vet to come yesterday to help me put her to sleep in my home, so she would at least be spared the terror of the vet, which she hated. She laid on my all day, she was so tired. Her eyes looked faraway. They had had that look for weeks. My poor little baby was so hungry, but she just couldn’t get anything down her throat. I can’t imagine how hard it was for her, feeling so hungry all the time. She had started to refuse to even let me try to feed her because I guess it hurt so bad. I know if I hadn’t had the vet come and put her to sleep, she could have gone on a few more weeks on just subcutaneous fluids, but she was suffering. She was making this awful gulping sound when she swallowed, and I could tell even swallowing was hurting her little throat. I’m grateful I knew she was leaving me and that I had some control. I was able to lay with her all day yesterday. What sucks so bad is that she had energy. She was 12, but she wasn’t physically debilitated at all. She could jump and didn’t even have trouble breathing. It was that she was starving. I don’t even think the cancer was hurting her. She hadn’t coughed lately, either. I think she could have lived a while if it hadn’t been for that tumor wrapping around her little esophagus. God, it was so hard to let her go. I didn’t want to do it. I will say that holding her in my lap as her little heart stopped was probably the most precious thing I’ll ever experience. I have no children and she was my baby. I was responsible for her, and she trusted me, and I think on many levels I did the right thing, so I have no overwhelming regret, but I’ll never forget holding her little body in my arms, wishing I could just comfort her in her final moments. I hope she was comforted. God, I can’t believe how much I miss her. I took her down to my boyfriend’s farm. He’s out of the country, but I got a shovel and buried her, and when I had to put her in the ground, I thought I would die. I wrapped her little body in a towel and just held her for a few minutes. I kissed her, and breathed in her smell, and I felt her tiny little bones one last time. It hurts so bad. I feel like my insides are being ripped out. She was part of me. She stayed warm the whole trip down, and even when I put her in the ground, her body just didn’t seem dead. It was stiff, but it was still warm. I can’t handle thinking that I put her in the ground. It seems so wrong. I don’t want her to be gone. I came home and my apartment was just so empty. She was my only companion for 10 years. She was here every minute of every day, and now I am so alone. It makes me panic. I feel terrified without her. She was my other half. It doesn’t feel right that her presence is gone. She was such a strong presence. Her energy is just gone. Why? Why does she have to be gone? It just feels so wrong. I’m so lost without her. This is worse than any breakup I have ever felt. I’ve never felt pain this deep. It feels wrong to be here alone. I’m not sure how to move forward. I have been crying every day for the last month, knowing she was leaving me soon. I thought maybe I would feel some relief after she was gone. But even her little sick body laying beside me brought such joy and comfort. I know she was hurting, and I am glad I didn’t wait until she died on her own. I am leaving the country in two weeks, and if she died alone while I was gone, or with some stranger here who couldn’t comfort her, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself. So, it was as good as it could have been. But I’m so lost without her. I just want to hold her again. I want her little body curled up against me the way she had slept for so many months as she got weaker. She got so clingy with me and would let me hold her and seemed to want my affection more than ever. My little baby. God, I miss her so much.

    • Lizzy

      Lynda, Yes I know how you are feeling, I felt & feel the same & its been two weeks since Cleo was put to sleep. My panic attacks have been terrible & I havent been able to stay in my home by myself at night. The emptyness is awful, you know I think we take our pets for granted, they are always there & without them they make the home so empty.I feel so guilty having to have made the decision myself, I always thought she would die in her sleep. I cant talk to people about her as I burst out crying. Im sure people that dont own pets have no idea the grief we feel, but believe me I have lost a lot of loved ones & the grief for Cleo is as real as their deaths were.
      I know days will get better & their presence will be felt in our homes for a long time. I cannot believe how empty my home feels & I feel insecure, its as though she was a protection for me, instead of the other way round. She was my baby in all ways. I loved her so much. I am thinking of you all & understand just how you all feel.

      • Lynda

        Thank you, Lizzy. Yes, there is a deep terror inside me without her. I feel haunted. I look over at the window and I try to pretend I see her there. I just want to see her and hold her again. I thought she would go on her own, too, and I didn’t want to take even a moment of her life away too soon, but every night was so bad there at the end, and I worried she would die alone while I was asleep. I wanted to make sure I was holding her and soothing her through it. Every time she got sick and started to act like she might not be able to hold down her water or medicine, I would just talk softly to her and gently pet her, and it usually kept her from throwing up. It’s crazy how tending to a sick animal will make you feel so unbelievably vulnerable and attached to them. I think it’s like you said, almost like we need them as if they’re protection, even though we are supposedly caring for them. I guess it’s the other way around, because I feel so lost without her. She has my whole heart, and now she’s gone. I had to get rid of so much of her stuff because it’s torture to see it and be reminded over and over that she’s not here anymore. It’s so hard. She’s just not here. I’m freaking out so bad, and I want to get a grip. I thought today was going to go a little better but it just goes downhill as the hours pass and I can’t find any reason to smile or focus on anything except my complete emptiness. I’m so depressed, and it’s awful because I got so depressed when I found out she was sick that I stayed in bed with her for days on end and didn’t even go outside for 3 or 4 day stretches. I’ve never done that. I didn’t want to leave her side. I don’t know what to do now. I work from home, but gosh, I can’t concentrate on anything. Sometimes, she would pee on this little rubber mat I had over a vent in the bathroom, and I hated it back then, but now I want to walk in and see a puddle in there. I just want some little piece of her back. Even her drool is precious to me, as weird as that sounds. I have a spot on my pillow that she laid on in her final hours before the vet came, and it was covered in drool, and I don’t ever want to wash it. I’m losing my mind, I think. I threw away everything except one or two keepsakes, which I hid away until I’m stronger, yet I’m clinging to this pillow and just trying to pretend its her.
        Anyway, I’m hoping I can move forward. I’m so devastated. Thanks for your kind words, Lizzy. I’m so glad I can share here. It’s good to read about others’ experiences. This pain is so bad.

    • Morgan

      Your story had me sobbing by the end. I have never been able to put my feelings about losing my baby, Fidget, into words like you have without feeling like I’ve gone insane. Everything you’ve described is almost identical to my situation and feelings. I’m so very sorry you have to experience this pain. It truly is terrible and utterly heartbreaking. It’s been five weeks today that I lost my best friend, but I would rather have this pain now than to have never had her in my life. She was a blessing, there’s no denying it. I have never felt so much love. I’m convinced our souls were of the same, because without her I feel a part of me is missing.

    • Tristan Nadine

      I understand the below comment where you just wanted to hold your cat more—At the veterinarian I thought about just bringing her home so I could hold her but I knew she would start puking and was so exhausted, that it was animal cruelty for me to do that-I couldn’t handle the second shot to stop her heart, I could only hand the first one-But the pain, the pain of walking out of the vet and into my place, without my cat…it’s horrible-I have a 16 year old Weimaraner, her brother that I need to give all my love to, for he’s ailing-But there is something missing her, all 6lbs of her, she was a tiny cat, filled my studio so immensely-When I walk outside, I feel it, I feel her gone-It’s in my body, I can tell, she is gone-That is what hurts-No one will understand us, unless they have gone through this-I am not having kids, not fond of them, she and her brother are my kids-

      My cat was my world, my everything, my living teddy bear-I’d talk to her for she was a Tortie, very vocal-I’d hold her like a child on my hip, she was glued to me-

      Laying in bed, I hate it-I hate laying down, I don’t have her to hold, I don’t her make the little snore/squeaks as she sleeps, or when she stretches in her sleep, the most adorable sound would come out-

      If you read my post, it came fast…my cat had a seizure August 1st, and handful more-Was told that it was not good that she had this at her age, with her already known and treated thyroid and renal failure-So we tried anti-seizure medicines, assuming a stroke-I even took her to a neurologist-On August 12th, I drove away with hope-That she would be ok on some new medicine, but if you would have told me I had 10 days left with her, so tragic-

      I hope you are ok and if you can give me any advice I’d so appreciate it- My cat’s love is something no human could ever provide to me, ever-The unconditional, constant form of love is amazing-Her personality was awesome, so much fun, feisty and sweetness at the same time-

      I hate August 22nd, I hate it-I now focus all my energy when I’m not crying to Jager, I know he senses she is gone, I must take care of him-It’s the only thing keeping me going right now-

  • Cindy

    Had to put my Ragdoll cat Calleigh down today. She was 9 years old. She put up a big strong fight to stay here with me but her body couldn’t go on. She had a mega colon and we had the surgery done to correct it. She got to come home for three days and she took a turn and the new colon was not viable. Nothing more could be done. She was loved beyond words and I can’t stop crying… I miss her so badly. But I know in my heart we tried everything and she was loved and she loved us. She purred all the way up to the end… I just can’t believe she is gone. God got a great kitty today and I know he’ll take good care of her and I will see her again!

  • Charles

    Atticus, our feline companion of 16 years, passed away yesterday, and my wife and I are overcome by grief. I have lived with many cats over 40 years, and he was the most courageous, loving, and affectionate cat I ever knew. He was an orange tabby, who looked like a miniature tiger, but more often acted like a dog. He would meet me at the door when I came home at night, follow me from room to room, and when I sat down, he would jump on my lap and put his front paws on my shoulder so that I could gently pat his hind quarters. We even played a game where I would throw a small object and he would chase it down, bat it around for a bit, then bring it back to me and drop it at my feet. We would continue like this until he grew tired — he was 16 after all. Even so, I thought we would have at least 4-5 more years together.

    Then, seemingly, out of the blue, he developed a wheezing sound whenever he purred. I wasn’t alarmed, he was still active and alert. As he had never had any respiratory distress, I thought it was some congestion that would clear itself up. The next day it got worse and, that evening, I made an appointment for the vet to see him the next day at 5 pm. On the day of the vet visit, I stayed home from work to make sure he would be okay. The labored breathing was more frequent, and I only hoped he would not pass away before I could bring him to the vet. Finally at 5 pm, I brought him to the vet. She put him in an oxygen tent, then gave him a sedative, and took x-rays. She sent the x-rays to the radiologist, but neither she nor the radiologist could see anything definitive, but there did appear to be a mass in the region of his larynx. The vet sent me to a nearby Emergency Animal Hospital where they could give Atticus around the clock care. At the hospital, they put him in an oxygen tent and planned to do an ultrasound of his neck the next day. His breathing seemed a little better when I checked on him before leaving the hospital that night The next day I spoke with the internist, who told me she did the ultrasound but it was difficult from the ultrasound to determine what it was, but she believed it was a cancerous tumor growing near his larynx and it was impeding his breathing. She told me there were three options — 1) put an aspiration needle in his throat and attempt to get a sample, 2) do an endoscopy and get a biopsy to determine whether chemotherapy or radiation was indicated if the mass was cancerous, 3) put him on steroids which would shrink the mass and inflammation and allow him to go back home with a decent quality of life for 1-2 months. Every option was bad, but I chose the endoscopy to give him what I thought would be the best chance. The next day, about a hour or two before they were to do the procedure, his condition took a turn for the worse, as his breathing became more labored. They said that it was now too risky to do the procedure, because there was a very good chance that the endoscopy could cause swelling, which would effectively close his throat so that he couldn’t breathe. Then an emergency tracheostomy would be required to keep him alive. That was the last thing I wanted to do to Atticus. So we decided that we would begin the steroid treatment. At least, we would have a month or two with him at home. I visited him that night, and he looked groggy from the sedative, but his breathing was better.

    The next day, I got a call from one of the internists who told me that, even after a second dose of steroids, he had taken another turn for the worse, and that if I wanted to see Atticus, I had to come right away, because he could pass away within the next few hours. I hurried over to the hospital, and when I got there, he was sitting up and seemed alert. I put my hand into the oxygen tent to pet him and he rubbed his head against my hand like he used to. Then I opened up the door so that I could kiss him on the forehead. The nurse came by and when she tried to push his head back in so that she could close the door to the oxygen tent, he rubbed his head against her hand too, just like the Atticus I had known for the past 16 years. Nevertheless, the internist said that while he seemed more alert now, for most of the day he had been laying on his side, hardly moving, and breathing heavily. She said that, for Atticus, it was like trying to breathe through a cocktail straw. She also said that he had not responded to the steroids as well as they had hoped, and it might be time to consider putting him to sleep. That didn’t seem to correspond with the Atticus who was now in front of me. I said I would come back in an hour and check on him. An hour later, I came back and he was lying on his side, his head barely moving and his eyes half open, as he wheezed with each breath. The internist came back and explained to me that while lymphoma normally responds well to steroids with a dramatic short-term “recovery”, other forms of cancer do not respond as well and he most likely had another form of cancer growing in his throat. I told the internist I just wanted to give him one more day with another dose of steroids to see if he could get better. I told the internist that I would come back in an hour, check on his condition, and then decide.

    I sat on a bench in front of the hospital. I thought there was no way I could make the decision to put him to sleep. Atticus was a friend, and family member, who had always been there for us for 16 years. How could I make the decision to take his life? Using my phone, I started reading articles on websites about making end of life decisions for your seriously ill feline or canine companion. Two things that stuck out to me was the question are you prolonging your companion’s life for yourself or for him and the comment left by someone who said they thought they could never put their cat to sleep, but when they finally did, they felt a sudden release which allowed them to be at peace with their decision.

    When I went back inside, a nurse put me in an examination room. Soon after, the internist came in with Atticus wrapped in a towel. I took him, and hugged him, and kissed him. He seemed alert and wanted to jump down to explore the room. I asked the internist if it was okay before letting him down. He went about the room investigating things with his usual curiosity. I sat on the floor and watched him closely. The internist said that she would leave us alone for awhile but if I needed her I could call out for her and she would come. Soon Atticus came back from his explorations, and sat next to me. His breathing became more labored. As I stroked his beautiful coat, he lied down on his side next to me. He laid his head against the cool slate floor. His mouth opened as he began to gasp for each breath. I couldn’t let him go through another minute of this. A nurse happened to come in the room, and I asked her to call the internist. The internist came and I told her it was time.

    She came back in, and explained the procedure to me. Atticus would first be given a sedative to induce sleep and then pentobarbitone to stop his heart. I asked if I could hold him during the procedure, and the internist said absolutely. She got down on the floor with me and Atticus. I asked if, before she started, I could play a recording of my wife singing “You Are My Sunshine” to Atticus. I held him in my arms and told him I love him as my wife sang to him in the recording. She said she did not have the emotional strength to be there for the procedure, which I completely understand. The internist injected the sedative, and Atticus’s labored breathing grew quiet, Atticus had the most peaceful expression on his face. Then the internist injected the pentobarbitone. A few seconds later, she listened for his heart with her stethoscope, and told me Atticus had passed. It was incredibly peaceful as I continued to hold him in my arms. He was perfectly still, almost as if he was sleeping. I did feel that sense of release and peace that I had read about. I knew at least the last decision I had made for Atticus was the right one. The internist told me she would leave me with Atticus and whenever I was ready, a nurse would come take Atticus away to be cremated and then his ashes returned to me. I continued to hold him for a long time, crying, telling him I loved him and petting his beautiful coat, as soft as it had always been. Finally, I called the nurse to take him.

    I left the hospital and called my wife to tell her it was over. As I walked home, a soft rain fell. On the way, I asked myself so many questions — would we have had a different outcome if I had brought him in at the initial signs of respiratory distress? If I had brought him to the vet six months earlier, could we have caught it in time? Did I fail my Atticus?

    When I got home, my wife and I held each other and cried. The apartment seemed so empty without him, he was such a presence in our lives and now he was gone. He left behind me, my wife and his brother Simon. Today, I told my wife that I was going out to get cat food for Simon. When I realized that before I had always said I was getting cat food for Atticus and Simon, or the cats, I choked up. Right now the grief is almost too much to bear. I will continue on, with courage, love and affection, like Atticus would have wanted. Thank you Atticus for sharing your precious life with me, thank you for teaching me to be a better person, and thank you for the love you shared with us.

  • mimi

    I just lost my cat Max today. Sadly he managed to get out of the house into the streets and got hit by a car. He is the prettiest most perfect cat ever. Every one always tell me how gorgeous he is. He is only one year old and his birthday is next week and i was planning to throw him a party and a tuna birthday cake since tuna is his favorite. He made me a better person and I didn’t really cared about animals before that much know i support animals rights and try to help stray animals and raise donations. I don’t even know what to say tbh but I wanted to share my experience with my fellow cat lovers. I’m in so much pain right now I feel like my heart is shattered. I didn’t know losing a bet is this hard, he was my first pet i ever and he was a member of my family and made my life a so much better. I don’t know how to live without him he’s my best friend. And I keep thinking its my fault he died ):

    • Lizzy

      Thank you all for sharing about your pets, I am grieving for my cat CLEO, who had been with me for 18 years, I had her put to sleep on the 10th May 2016, & feel so guilty as I keep thinking I did it too soon. She weighed only 2 kilos & was being sick every day & had kidney problems. She was my reason for getting out of bed every day . I can’t stop crying & I am having panic attacks, just feel so sick. I can’t believe how empty my home feels & never realised just how much I did for her. Over the last 18 years I have hardly been away as it was CLEO I stayed home for, when I did go out Sh was always waiting for me. I got CLEO just after I lost my Son & she has been my best friend. I have lost many family members over the last year & this grief I am having is unbelievable. I have buried her at my daughters house where other pets are buried. I miss her so much.

    • Michelle

      Im sorry to hear about your loss.. I recently had a similar thing that happened to me..but my cat was an indoor outdoor kitty..so I always knew their would be a chance something bad could happen to him while he was out side.. everything you said im feeling it too.. my cat died Sunday Morning right in front of my house.. after being hit by a car.. im trying to focus on all the good he brought to my life.. he was my first kitty.. that died not of old age.. and it has been such a tragic loss for me.. i go in and out of feeling better but the hardest is knowing how great of a cat I had and now i will never be able to hold and kiss him again.. but I know with time it will get easier .. but please try to focus on how good of a life you gave to him.. its what helps me get thru a little easier..because if I hadn’t taken my kitty in.. I know they wouldn’t of survived this long..

    • Nicky

      So sorry to hear about your cat. We lost our 6 year old calico, Miley, last week. She was used to cars, roads, but our new house is on a blind bend and cars come speeding past our house like they have a death wish. Someone ran over her and left her to die alone in our garden. Accidents happen but I will never forgive them for just carrying on their way and leaving her, as if she was nothing. They are part of our lives, it hurts when they go. Some people will never understand. It’s not your fault he died, but I feel your pain as I can’t help thinking had I found Miley straight away we might have been able to save her. The vet said it would have been very very unlikely as it appeared she managed to get herself in the garden and collapsed on the lawn and died there. He said it would have been a matter of minutes. I lie awake wishing it was just a bad dream. We also have Miley’s daughter she is 5, we are terrified to let her out now!

  • Michelle P.

    Tuesday May 10th 2016 I took my Gracie to the vet because I thought she had a UTI. A couple days before I noticed she had stopped using the litter box. I was not expecting her to not return home with me that day. When the Dr. turned her over and stretched her out to check her, he found two large tumors . He believed they were malignant as one had started to ulcerate and he believed her kidneys were not working right. I had no idea she even was in any pain as she would snuggle up with us and sleep with us every night. I made the awful decision of having her put to sleep. I didn’t want her to suffer one more minute. I’m feeling terrible grief. I had her for 16 years. I wish that I had brought her home with me one more night to love on her and just let her know how much she was loved. It’s been a few days and during the day I’m ok now, but at night when I go to bed is the hardest. She used to wait for me on the steps and meow at me and then jump up in her spot by my husband and I. Then she would get her love and put us both to sleep by purring . I am absolutely heart broken .

    • Linda Jackson

      I know exactly what you are going through right now as I myself am still feeling the same some 6 months after lossing my beautiful cat Minette who I miss so very much every single day and believe I will for many years to come. I am crying now writing this as it is so very hard to control my emotions, I loved her more than I loved my parents and am not ashamed to say so, she was my bestest friend, my baby girl who will be forever in my heart and I am so glad I rescued her and gave her eight years of true love and happiness. She would lay in my arms every night purring and prodding me with her feet and I miss this so badly, I don’t sleep soundly anymore and take ages to fall to sleep and as soon as I wake up I have to get up because I miss our morning rituals so much. I cry most days and sometimes its so very overwhelming and I fell like I just want to be with her. She can never ever be replaced but I will eventually rescue a cat who will need my love. but for now my grief I feel must go on until the time is right. Most people don’t understand, but then most have never had the unconditional love that only can be gained from a beloved pet. I know my heart will never ever mend. I feel your pain and sorrow and I am sorry I cannot offer you any comforting words – but know I truly understand your grief.

      • alison

        i just loss my lil tuxedo yesterday i did my best just for her to survive she’s about two mos old died from diarhea i did everything to help her but still she left i cannot afford to send her to vet it hurts sometimes i wanna blame myself but i did nothing wrong.. all i know i love all cats

  • Missy

    Today I lost my sweet Tyler. I adopted him when he was just 4 weeks old. Yesterday he turned 11. I’m greatful I got to spend one last birthday with him. He had been sick for a year and this week he just took a nose dive. The ver thought he had cancer.Wouldn’t eat or drink and barely moved. When I took him in today it was just obvious he was ready. I stayed with him till the end and when his ashes come back I will bury him in the garden. I miss him so much it hurts. For me he was my son my furr baby. He meant everything to me for 11 years. When he nearly died 5 years ago I got him through it. He was always there for me even when no one else was. I keep looking at his favorite spots and cry when of course he isn’t in any of them. I know I did the right thing and he is at peace but I still wish he was here. Rip my sweet baby and know how much you will be missed. Mommy loves you.

  • chris

    I miss you so much Mikko you were a badass Maine Coone just like Darnell, I miss you both so much, honestly i wish us useless humans lived one eighth of a cats life, because people=sh*t, cats on the other hand are gods/goddesses compared to us. Shadow, Sparkles, Simon, Darnell, and Mikko, I always have you furry little beasties in my thoughts and I miss you guys for life. 🙁

  • taylor

    My baby boy Armani just passed away on Sunday. He was only a kitten, and he was 7 months old. He was a beautiful Siberian kitty who i loved more than anything. When we found out about the breed, we fell in love with them, as i am allergic to cats, and we had to adopt one. We got Armani in early December. I will never forget how loving and affectionate he was, he truly was my dream cat. I’ve had several cats in the past, but never one I’ve bonded to as close as i did with Armani. I remember when we first got him, and he would stay in my room and when I watched Netflix at night he would just curl up on my shoulder and watch it with me. Armani loved being held and cuddled, and he was unlike any other cat i ever had. He was the first cat who actually bonded to me, as all my other kitties liked someone else in the family and didn’t want me as their person. Armani was my best friend, he truly was. My mother, however has grown up with cats, and although i did not want Armani to be an outdoor cat, she eventually convinced me to allow him outside. She told me how being outside is part of a cats nature and how it can be cruel to keep them trapped indoors. Armani watched as our other cats went outside and he wanted to so badly, so i finally allowed him to start adventuring outside. Although he was still so little, he was so big, about the same size as my other adult cats, so i thought he would be fine. He never went far, and would always stick around the house. Whenever i called him, he always came running into my arms. However Sunday night, when I went to call for him, he didn’t come. I assumed he had just wandered off and he would be back in the morning, as he had done this a few times. I got up the next morning and got ready for school and went to school like any other normal day. however, when i arrived home from the school bus i noticed my mother’s car was in the driveway. She always gets home an hour or more after me so i knew something was up. It was then that she told me he had gotten run over by a car Sunday night. She saw him as we were pulling out of the driveway that morning and didn’t want to upset me and waited untill i got home to tell me. I have honestly never felt so devastated in my entire life. I feel like my heart is ripped in two. I stayed home the next day as did my mom. We buried Armani and i cut flowers for his grave but i couldn’t even go to his mini-funeral. I stood there and handed my mother the flowers and ran away crying. I have begun to sob, while writing this, because I miss my little baby so much. It seems like a different lifetime ago, when he was still here, as my life is completely different now without his presence. My mother and i decided that in the future, once i graduate high school, we are going to start our own cattery of Siberians and name it after our beloved Armani. My mother also contacted a breeder, and we are going to pick up a baby kitten on Sunday. It may seem too soon, or as if I am trying to replace Armani, but i believe having a little ball of fluff and sunshine running across my room will bring light to my devastated heart. I am going to name the kitten Georgio, in honor of Armani (Armani was named after the designer Georgio Armani). I am still heartbroken over Armani, and i don’t see the pain to be subsiding anytime soon, but I think Georgio can help ease the pain. I still cannot believe he is gone, and every day when i let our dogs out when i come home, i expect to see Armani running downstairs to see me because he heard the door open. I will always miss him trying to sleep on my head and purring so loudly that i cannot sleep. It was such a tragedy that he had to leave so soon, but he will forever be in my heart. I love you, my precious Armani, and I hope you are having a great time across the Rainbow Bridge.

    • Pat

      JUst lost my cat Sunshine today. She was 17 years old and had liver and kidney failure. I never knew it and feel so bad. Either did the vet one month ago- as she still looked so ehalthy. OUt of all the cats I ever owned int he past 20 years, she meant the most to me. I always called her Sunshine Boogy Down baby and Sunshine Girl. SHe loved sleeping with me too and loved when I used to brush her hair. She would walk around the house withb me while she was on my shoulders. I hope there is an afterlife and she is there happy. I love her and missher so much and am so devestated. I am so heartbroken that she is gone and I couldn’t save her. I hate that we all have to die. I think mother nature screwed up. I wish for immortality for all living beings. Cats are like children and she was part of my family.

      • gail

        I lost my best friend yesterday, my cat Socks of 16 yrs and I can’t come to grips with it, can’t stop blaming myself. I feel like it’s my fault and maybe something I did or didn’t do. I will never see his sweet face again and I don’t think I will ever be ok again. I think mother nature screwed up too, they should live forever.

    • mimi

      Same thing happened to my cat Max today he always wanted to go outside like other cats and I wouldn’t allow him he went outside today and no one noticed and we found him ): . I exactly know how you feel and your pain, Rip Mikko and Max

  • Arlene

    It’s been one whole day without my cat Rufus. He was a stray, he came out of the blue and began to hang around my house. At first, my dog would bark at him when he saw him walking by the brick wall. Little by little we gained Rufus’ trust and were finally able to feed him inside our house. He got so comfortable that he would spend most of his days sleeping on my bed but would be gone by night. He began to feel at home, and we were more than happy to have him in our family. Rufus and my dog Hank were ALWAYS play fighting. It was the cutest thing! This went on for a little bit less than a year. Yesterday afternoon, I noticed that my bed was empty, Rufus didn’t come to the house.. I just thought it was a bit strange but didn’t pay much attention to it. A few hours later, I heard a very soft meow outside my window, when I checked, there he was laying down in such a strange position. I called my brother to see if he was okay (I really can’t deal with injuries, I’d faint). My brother saw that both of his back legs were completely destroyed. He must’ve ran across a car. My poor cat dragged himself to our house for help and safety. Who knows how far he was at the time of his accident. We immediately took him to the hospital and they told us that even with the surgery he wouldn’t make it so we had to put him down. I did not expect to feel this heartbroken, I just never imagine this. I miss him so much, I had no idea how much I loved him. I just wish I could’ve kept him home the night before.

    • gail

      I’m so sorry to read about your loss as I am crying over the loss of my cat Socks of 16 years, he died yesterday and I can’t stop crying and now crying over the loss of urs as well. I hate death and losing them is so awful, I just can’t deal with this and can’t stop blaming myself, feel like there was something more I could have done or something I did wrong, just terrible.

  • Dan

    I lost my cat Izzy 2 days ago. This loss hit me much harder than i expected. It was sudden and unexpected.

    Izzy was a feisty petite black cat with beautiful green eyes. She had gotten very vocal in her last few years. She was quick to announce herself when she was hungry or wanted to go outside. At times, she could be moody, or withdrawn, or just plain bitchy. Although, i could pet her anywhere if she was feeling like being loved, she would let you know if she didn’t like it. Many people made that mistake.

    She was around 15 years old and i had her for the past 12. During this time Izzy must have lived in 10 different apartments and houses. She had originally belonged to an ex girlfriend. When we first started dating, Izzy was pregnant and had 4 kittens. Having not grown up with any pets, I never considered myself a cat person. Even with an allergry to her, this cat slowly won me over. My ex and I lived together for 3 years. We had both a cat and dog. The two spent much time together in the house. They would cuddle together and I think they both picked up traits from each other.

    When our relationship went sour, I knew it was time to move on. There was no chance the dog who i loved and cared for would be coming with me. After all the animals were hers before we met. But she couldn’t bring the cat due to her new landlord. The cat was going to go live with someone who cared for many cats. Being of the feisty nature, and growing up with a dog, Izzy was not suited for a multi cat home. By this point i was use to the cat hanging by my side and sleeping next to me at night. I knew moving to a new apartment in a new city by myself for the first time would be difficult. It was then i knew that the cat was coming with me. It was the best decision i ever made and i never regretted it. For the next 4 years it was just the two of us. She loved looking out the window, or sleeping late in bed. When i would sit on the couch, she had a couple spots right next to me were she would lay with me. I started to let her explore outside and she loved it. Always a fierce hunter, she would leave all sorts of treats at my door. Never shy, she would rub up against everyone who stopped to pet her. Pet people loved her (even after the occasional swipe). I always felt guilty when i would leave her to travel. Even though i had friends look after her, you could tell she was a little mad until i was back sleeping next to her at night. I moved almost every year or two. For an indoor/outdoor cat i thought it was going to be tough, but i made sure she was familiar with her surroundings and would let her explore. She always came back. Sitting on the porch waiting for me. Occasionally she would get in fights with other cats. I would tend to her wounds. Even though she was in pain, she knew i was helping her. When i was going through a rough time, she was my companion. Just content to nuzzle up next to me and purr. She really helped me through some lonely times.

    It could be tough dating and being a single guy with a cat. Especially since i probably didn’t fit the cat guy profile. But i would take it all in stride. I don’t care who it was, i was not getting rid of the cat. Not that any of them tried. When i met my future wife, she was not much of an animal person. I was not sure that she would except Izzy especially since she was from my ex. It took some time, but Izzy won her over. I can tell you from experience, cats choose us, not the other way around. It was the 3 of us for awhile until last spring we brought home a puppy. I was not sure how Izzy would take to this new addition, even though she had grown up with a dog. Well, lets just say they didnt become best buds, but Izzy was never scared or afraid and remained Queen of the castle.

    One of the things I will miss most is getting home from a long day at work and seeing that black cat sitting on the porch or driveway patiently waiting for me. She would run up and meow and rub herself against my leg. It was such a comforting feeling to know that no matter how crappy of a day it was, she was happy to see me. She got use to coming and going as she pleased. I preferred her to be in at night, but sometimes she would get on a schedule were she would be out at night. I would let her in early in the morning. There was always that sense of fear if she did not return on schedule. Saturday night she was out. Sunday morning i went to the front to let her in, but she was not there. I looked at the back door, but she wasn’t there either. I looked to see if she got stuck in the basement or garage, but she hadn’t. I knew something was wrong. I jumped in my car to drive around the neighborhood to find her. It didn’t take long. There she was, around the corner, on the lawn of the house behind ours. She had been hit by a car. I was devastated. We buried her in the back yard. My wife actually as the one to dig the hole and put her in a box. I was so proud of my wife for doing that to save me the pain of doing it, even though i felt like i should be the one. We buried Izzy in the back yard in the rain. She was so special to me. A lot of people could not understand the bond i had with that little cat. My wife understood well and i love her for that. I am really thankful to read about other peoples experiences and no i’m not alone. Even writing this is very therapeutic. I feel extremely sad but at the same time i’m thankful for all the years we had together and all time we spent together. Both good times and bad. She will be forever missed. Thank you all for reading this and thank you for sharing your own experiences.

    • natasha

      I’m sorry about Izzy. Please leep cats indoors or go for walks with a harness and leash. It’s too dangerous to let animals go where ever. Cars, anmals, as well as sociopathic people are dangerous.

  • Mackenzie

    Hey everyone. I just had to put my 7 week old kitten down who was suffering from pneumonia and FKS. She was my barn cats baby and I took her in because she was weaker than the rest. Bugsy was the sweetest little kitten you could’ve met and captured everyone’s heart. I didn’t think that her death would affect me so much since she hasn’t been living with my family and I for so long but it feels like we lost a family member who has been with us for years. I don’t know how to cope with her loss because everywhere I go in my house I see one of her toys or somewhere I held her. Her death was sudden. She was perfectly fine the day before and was sleeping on my shoulder and scampering up my clothes. I don’t understand why this happened and how to cope with it?

  • Laurie Post author

    I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s so painful to lose a cat you love, especially since you’re constantly surrounded by reminders of your loss. It’s a very sad feeling, and the grief can feel unbearable.

    Your pain will get easier to bear. It may never go away because you’ll always remember your cat with love and longing, but you will feel lighter and happier again. You will feel happy….but first you need to grieve your loss. When your cat dies, you really do need to honor your past and give yourself time to say goodbye. It’s painful, but it’s important to allow yourself to go through the pain.

    Your cat will live in your heart and soul, if not in your life.

  • Daniel arebalo

    Hi everyone my name is Daniel I had my cat kitty for 3 years she was the best cat I ever had sweet lovable extremely talkative never hurt a fly all she did was love I remember all the great times we had she just passed away today I had to put her to sleep because me and wife recently fell on hard times and had to move in with her mom long story short her mom had dog’s and one of them got ahold of our kitty and punctured her lung rushed her to the vet and got the bad news today has been the worst day of my life I just don’t know what to do I feel terrible she was my world I just don’t know how to go on help please any advice would be greatly appreciated please

    • Daniel arebalo

      Thank you kitty for all the great memories you mean the world to our family and I know your in cat heaven hunting bugs like you loved to do ” no bug is safe” ? I love and I will see you again I love you so much rest in peace my baby you will be in our hearts forever I miss you so much

  • Maria

    My baby Ronaldo was put to sleep today. Had him for 10 years. He was the best cat I ever had and I will never forget him. I love him so much. I hope he knew how much I loved him. Rip my beautiful boy.

  • Laurie Post author

    I’m so sorry for your loss. There is almost nothing that helps when your cat dies, it’s just so sad. I’ll never forget the cats I loved and lost…Zoey and Fluffy were dearest to my heart. Nothing could ever replace them.

    What has helped is adopting another cat. I always give myself at least a few weeks to heal, but I keep my eyes open for animals who need homes. I live with a sliver of pain for the cats I don’t have anymore, but I also keep my heart open to love the cats in my life now.

    May your grief ease, your pain subside, and your heart heal. And may you never forget the cat you love, who is resting in peace and loving you right back.

    In sympathy,

    • Mary McCloskey

      Thank you Laurie for your comforting, thoughtful and caring words. It has been a difficult week. Co-workers, family,friends and people I don,t even know have helped greatly. A customer at work came in and asked if everything was okay and when I explained my pet had past away he understood the love of a pet. He asked if he could give me a hug. This was in the middle of the week and I could not stop crying. He said his dog Buddy had changed his life that he was thinking of ending his life when a friend gave him Buddy. Eight years later, he is engaged and having a baby. His life literally turned around from the love of a pet. He truly understood. Reading what you have said Laurie, the other stories I have read on this site and the support I have received has been very heart warming. I can not thank everyone enough for understanding my loss of my beloved pet Scrapper.

      Thank you again

  • Mary McCloskey


    Scrapper died in my arms on the way to vet and when I got home I could not put him down I just held him and kept petting him like he always liked . I am lost without him. I went to bed alone for the first time in fifteen years and I do not think anyone can understand or fathom what I am going thru. I am 60 and have said good bye to many pets that I had to put to sleep. And family which my mom past away when she was only 54. Scrapper was always there for me good times and bad and when I came home from work he would make the day so right. I miss him more than I can say. I have went through loss with family and pets which I consider them all my loved ones. I had some one tell me one time when dog Tiny died that you don’t love animals you love people and I said did you ever have a pet and said no that they would not have one in their house and I said then you do not know how I feel. After Tiny, I was in my 20’s and I said I would never have another pet because it hurt so bad to lose them but it took sometime and eventually I did open my heart again but this time I think is the last because this is tearing my heart apart. I know they say in time but right now my heart is breaking and I do not know what to do. My room is so empty without him. May Scrapper rest in peace and out of pain. I think he held on so long for me and I know that sounds strange but I believe in my heart he loved me as much as I loved him. I believe in Prayer and I prayed to God that when it was his time to take him and when I was holding Scrapper yesterday I told him it was okay to let go and to not fight anymore and to just go to sleep. I some one reading this will say he was just a cat but Scrapper was more than that to me. I LOVE YOU SCRAPPER, I PRAY I SEE AGAIN SOME DAY GOD WILLING AMEN

    • Elizabeth

      I swear I know how you feel. KJ slept with me.for 17.5 years. I can’t even go in my room without breaking down. My house is so quiet and empty. I am alone and lonely and don’t know what to do either

    • Christine Poland

      Hello Mary
      I am 69 & 3 days ago had my beloved Nina put to sleep. She was 17 & had kidney failure. I live alone & she & I had a loving life together.
      She showed up in my backyard when she was just a tiny kitten. It was bitter cold that day. I fell in love with her and she with me.
      Having her put to sleep was truly one of the hardest things I have ever done! But I truly believe she would thank me because she was miserable. I have cried so much since she is gone. I have been told by well-meaning friends & family that I should get another cat but I do not want one at this time. I only want to think of Nina & grieve for her.
      I hope you feel better soon.
      The best to you & the memories of your sweet little guy.
      Christine Poland

    • Hilary

      There is no such thing as just a cat. He was your family. No one can ever know exactly how you feel. I lost my little guy yesterday, after 12 years together. He was my best friend. Life will never be as full again. There are no words. I’m so sorry for you.

  • Mary McCloskey

    yesterday my cat scrapper of over 15 yrs died. He had kidney disease. In 2000 my niece brought him home someone had dumped him in a parking lot at her college. We had to feed him by eye dropper because he was not old enough to it eat on his own. She left to go on a trip and he would lay on my chest and sleep. from that day forward he was my cat. He only liked me and no one else. The other cat we had was bigger and he would sometime fight with scrapper, he was smaller, and that is how he got is name because he was a srapper he would fight back even tho he was smaller. Over the years I was concerned about his safety when I wasn’t home so I kept him in my room all the time. Everyday I would come home he and I had a routine I would get comfortable in my computer chair and he would wait patiently for me to call him to get in my lap or he would see I was ready and just come over into my lap where we would watch tv or be on the computer together if I had the chair away from him he would gently touch my back to say more or less hey I am hear and I want in your lap, best feeling ever, and I miss that touch so so very much. He slept with me every night he would wait until I was comfortable and not moving around and would come up and give me a kiss goodnight and then he would curl up be side me and I would hug him all night. I would pet him and rub under his chin before sleeping he would purr and purr. In 2012 the vet at that time gave my cat a shot for an allergy it put him into diabetes. I was giving him insulin and it was killing him I took him to a new vet and she pulled him out of it and things were going well with a special diet food. In sept, 2015 things changed. He was diagnosed with kidney disease since he was still eating and drinking she reccommeded giving him fluids at home every other day. He hated it and would sometimes throw up afterwards. His teeth got bad and started to get infected so I would have to take for a shot and it would clear this up. I got very sick recently and did not notice his mouth smelling. When I come home from work I saw something on his leg and it was drainage from his mouth it was infected again I called the vet and they said a technician could give him the shot for his mouth. My nephew took him because I was at work and I wanted him treated as soon as possible. I called while he was still at the vet to say I needed to get fluids because I was almost out but they missed understood and gave him fluids and I had gave him fluids just the night before , I called and they said that was ok because of the infection the fluids would be good for him and I could even still give him his scheduled fluids the next day. When come home from work on Friday he was in the litter box laying down and I did not know why then but I put him up on the bed and he ate and drank as usual and we went to bed and he curled up in his ball and laid in my arms all night which I did not know was going to be my last night with him. We got up on Saturday which was yesterday and he ate and curled up in my lap and we started our day . He moved over to the bed and was sleeping when I looked over after a couple hours his head went to the side and his legs were jerking or twitching and I got really scared it was Saturday and the vet was closed and the vet told me once that the worst thing for him was to die of thirst so I gave him more fluids and it did not seem to help. I held him and the twitching stopped but now he is gasping and water is coming out of his mouth I went on line looking for an emergency vet that about an hour away this all seemed to be happening so fast and I could not bear to see him like this so we left for the emergency vet but he died on the way there. I am feeling guilty that I gave him the fluids which he did not like and I am worried that I made the matters worse by giving him the fluids because on line it says that too much can fill up in their lungs what did I do to my my very precious friend. Scrapper was my best friend and now I feel so alone and I can not stop crying. It was late and it got dark so I will have to bury him tomorrow. I do not usual say how I feel and this is very hard I have put him in a box with his toys and I will have to go out and bury him soon I am feeling so very lost. I loved him with all my heart he was there for me always and now I feel I did something wrong to him. the vet asked to months ago his quality of life and I said he was doing all the same things and he was doing good until yesterday. How do I go on with out him

    • Jean

      I understand, it is not easy. I too lost my cat the same day, I miss her cuddles the most. I would say, lets go cuddle, and she would follow me to bed. I would wrap my arm around her big belly and bury my face in her back. My baby, I will forever miss 🙁

  • Sil Dawson

    Hi all, its so comforting to read all of your experiences, helps me understand I’m not the only one going through the this. I lost my little baby Luna 2 weeks ago, she got hit by a car. We rescued her when she was a stray kitten after being dumped on the street by this family who simply didn’t want a cat anymore. We knew there was something wrong when she didn’t come back home on Sunday night, it was raining really bad and she hates rain so I knew something wasn’t right. I hoped she was hiding somewhere taking shelter from the rain, I couldn’t sleep all night I was so anxious waiting for her to come back. My husband went out to look for her on Monday morning and he found her at side of the road at the back of our house. He came back to tell me the bad news, I was in a complete state, couldn’t stop crying. He went back to get her but she was gone! Somehow I hoped it wasn’t her, her collar was missing so I prayed it wasn’t her, my husband was sure it was Luna but I hoped, just hoped it wasn’t her. An hour later we got a call, a vet saw her on her way to work and picked her up, scanned the microchip on her neck only to confirm it was her. Driving to go get her was awful, but the way back home was even worse, I carried her on my lap wrapped with her favourite blanket, her body so cold and stiff. That was my little baby, she was only 1 year old. I miss her so much, I’m still crying now and I don’t know how long it will take for the pain to go away. I hate myself for not going out to find her that Sunday night, i should have been there to find her. I miss her everyday, my crazy adventurous sweet little baby xxx

  • Mira Kertia

    me and my boyfriend living in different dorm house. we decided to pet a cat in his room… so when i visited my bf room, I can meet ‘Ucil’… now, he is already an adult cat so we decide to pet another kitten.. my bf found her while she was following my bf who goingd downstir to take ‘Ucil’ food… her name was Whitney.. i named her cause ‘Whitney’ sound like ‘white’.. She has white fur..

    She likes going adventure.. visit another dorm room, even going to another room.. She doesn’t like skinship with my bf but really like when I touch her.. she doesn’t like stay in my bf room when i wasn’t there… hahahaha. maybe that was girl instinc.. she really like running around the stairs.. when she heard my bf open his room, she will rushed go to upstairs.. Ucil always bully her but it looks like she doesnt’t care.. She enjoy everything that we gave to her while Ucil don’t…

    I thought Whitney was 6months old.. and we already pet her for 3 months until this afternoon… I was in my dorm, cleaning, when my boyfriend called me.. he tells me that Whitney is gone.. One thing comes to my mind is she’s lost.. Until he said Whitney was got hit by a motorcyle. My BF said she was full with blood, just trembled and unconscious. My BF take her, lay her in his hand while on that state.. After 10 minutes trembled, she’s like stretch her body just like when she wakes up and she doesn’t move anymore… she’s gone…

    My BF buried her in dorm back yard, his dorm mate helped him. because those guys know Whitney so well too.. Whitney always come to their room too and they pet her too.. It takes 3 for me to realize Whitney is gone.. Now I just laying on my bed, crying.. Thinking abou her.. It must be cold down there, because it’s raining now… heavy rain… I can’t stop crying… He death was really pointless just because that stupid girls who drove her motorcycle. but I just keep thinking about how his little body is out there all alone in the dirt.

    Whitney-yaaa.. what are you doing there right now?? Are you playing with God now?? You must be very happy in there.. There’s no more big cat will bully you there, right… Please eat a lot… I’ll always miss you…

  • Katstica

    My cat got hit by a car today, his name was Quinn and he was a little grey tabby with almond eyes. He was still alive when I found him but luckily unconscious, because his condition was pretty bad. It was so unexpected, he was only three years old. He would always roll over on his back so you’d give him belly rubs when you walked by and paw the air when he wanted attention. Every night he’d sleep right next to me on his own pillow and I already miss him a lot. We buried him in our back yard, but I just keep thinking about how his little body is out there all alone in the dirt. His death was pointless and just because of a reckless driver. I just wish I could hug him and give him scratches again, but I’ll never be able to.

    • aria saremi

      my cat, cookie, died 2 nights ago! he was hit by a car too and was only 1 year old 🙁 I am absolutely devastated and can’t stop crying. I know what you are going through! I keep seeing him in the apartment walking around or coming in my bed and sleep right beside me. he used purr a lot when I rubbed his neck and chin. loved it so much. he was waiting for me at the window every time I came home! now my home is insanely quiet and no one’s waiting for me any more 🙁 I loved him so much and miss him every minute! I keep thinking I wish I was there when he died so he didn’t feel alone. it’s unbelievable that he’s gone!

      • Ariel

        My cat Eloise got hit by a car 2 nights ago. Eloise was my entire world, my child. She was a year and a half. I went to a very dark place last night and thought I wasn’t going to be able to live without her. I have been feeling so guilty, too. I cried for 2 days straight with no relief in sight. I finally saw a tiny bit of light today. The temporary answer was a close friend of mine who took me in his arms for the entire day today and let me talk about it, and told me how I’d be hurting anyone by taking my own life. Darkest moments of my life. I miss my Eloise more than anything, and I loved her to death. I would have sacrificed myself for her. It’s ridiculous how much we can love a pet, but it’s okay to feel the way we feel when death claims our pets. We just need to take care of ourselves, too. I just wanted to tell you I completely understand how you feel.

      • aria

        Hi Ariel
        thanks for sharing your feelings. hope you’re feeling a little more relieved today. yes it’s surprising how you can have such a beautiful mother/father-child relationship with them. to me it’s not only losing a pet but it feels like losing the opportunity to love over and over again. it’s a shame that such a beautiful reciprocal innocent loving relationship can’t be continued any longer. the relationship with pets is based on pure love and what ever you do for them or they do for you has only 1 reason and that’s love. unlike human relationships which most of the times is based on mutual benefit.

  • Smerlin

    On 31 March 2016 we had to say goodbye to our beautiful 17 year old black cat Tom, who was with us for 6 years. One year after we moved into the house we are currently living, on a beautiful summer afternoon when we were enjoying the sun in the garden, suddenly a black cat showed up and decided to enjoy the beautiful day with us. And he did not leave. We did not know what to think of it, because Tom certainly didn’t look like a stray cat, but since he decided to stay with us, and had flees after two weeks we put an flea collar on him. After a walk a few days later there was a note under his flee collar “Hi, this is Tom. He lived with us for 6 years, but recently he started to stay away. Please contact us”. So we contacted the neighbors who lives around the block and they told us that 6 years ago Tom suddenly walked into their lives too. Sometimes Tom still would visit them, but since that time he always stayed home with us. Our neighbors had 3 other cats, maybe he preferred a quite house since we had no pets at all. Tom was very affectionate and loved being petted, he was very sweet. He really loved attention, and he always followed us around in the house. When I was at work, he always kept my wife company, or when I was home, he would jump on my lap when I was on the computer (which sometimes would annoy me, but I now I wish he still would be able to jump on my lap, I miss him so much). Two weeks ago Tom suddenly stopped eating. We took him to the vet, but we were told he has stage 5 with kidney problems. They tried to flush his kidneys. We visited him in the ‘hospital’ and I never forget how happy he was to see us. He pushed his head on our faces and his tale was straight up. Next day we took him home. He was so happy, and jumped on the table, walking towards my wife, pushed his head to her, and then walking back to me, pushed his head to me, and repeated this several times. It really seems he wanted to tell us ‘thank you’ for getting him out of the hospital. Looking back, I like to think it was his farewell message to us, as soon after that he lost all his strength and had not much energy to jump on the table anymore.
    After 2 days we were ready to put him down, as he still did not eat, but then in the evening, he suddenly started to eat, we were so happy. But it turned out it was his last meal, we never could get him to eat again. We took our mattress down in the living room, as if Tom would come down from his chair to drink he could not jump back in his chair again. I would wake up every few hours to let him drink. After 3 days we had no other choice but to put him to sleep, as it was so difficult to see him suffer. That last night I could not sleep well, I woke up at around 04.00 and spend a few hours sitting next to him and talking to him before I had to go to my job, and gave him my last hugs as I now I would going to miss him so much. After I came home from my job my wife and I prayed from him, we put both our hands on his head and it seemed like he understand what was going on, he was so weak and tired already. Then we took him to the vet. He went to sleep very quick and peacefully. We both miss him a terribly, but I’m also relieved that he does not suffer anymore. Dear Tom, thank you for coming into our lives and make our lives so happy. You were such a funny cat and such a great companion, who shared our lives in good and bad times. You were always there to comfort me if I came home after a bad day at work, and thank you for being there for my wife, if you only would realize how important it was for her that you were there during a very difficult time in her life. Thank you for everything Tom. We’ll never forget you and you’ll always stay a part of our family.

  • Marie Aodis

    Three days ago my cat Rico died from a vicious attack by a neighbors dog. He was 10 years old. Rico was so special to me, I had the privilege of witnessing his birth. When I was in college my BF and I were given two very young cats. I took them to the vet and was told they were male cats. The vet was wrong. Soon after one became pregnant and months later Rico was born. He was the only male in the litter and had four sisters. When the time came to find them a home, all the girls were adopted except Rico. I couldn’t bear to break his mothers heart and decided to keep Rico. All 3 were a happy family for four years and then my BF and I broke up and I left with Rico and his dad (Zeke) to start a new life. Rico and Zeke got me through the hardest break up and uncertain times after college. Rico was the product of a happy home, he had the security of a mother and father cat, and was breast fed by his mom for so many months. He was so healthy, trusting and confident. I have never loved an animal so much. He had such a personality, was so social and loyal. Rico could recognize the smell of salmon in the oven so quickly that he would start meowing as soon as I opened the oven. Today I made salmon and nearly lost my mind from the thought of never being able to share with him again. He was loved by my entire family and they were constantly the recipients of pictures of his daily activities. I have worked from home for the last 2 years and he was my companion. He and I had a routine and now I feel so lost. I can’t concentrate and I miss him so much. My heart can’t even begin to deal with how his dad Zeke must feel. Zeke and Rico were two peas in a pod and he was there to witness Rico passing away. Rico made it home after the dog attack and even though he had surgery, his body could not bear the extent of his injuries. After his surgery I brought him home and he passed away 18 hours later. I’m comforted by the fact that he was able to pass in his own home. Rico managed to climb up to my bed the day I brought him home and we cuddled all night. He whimpered and cried randomly but when I brushed his head and talked to him he would stop crying. I knew he loved me. The next morning he used the litter box and walked to the front door. I watched him and he began to cough, had a seizure and passed. It was the most traumatizing thing I have ever seen. My poor baby spent the night with me and passed the next morning. It kills me that he died so brutally by a dog and then suffered after surgery. I buried him in the forest and I said a prayer. I hope we meet in the next life. I can’t even imagine how I will get through this.

  • Kimberly

    Yesterday was one of the hardest days in my life. My boyfriend got home first and discovered our cat Midnight was missing. So he called me and told me he couldnt find him in the house, I told him to look outside because we know he would often venture outside to play if someone accidentally left the front gate open. After I hung up I was really worried because I know Midnight ALWAYS came back home. If we called his name he would ALWAYS come running back home.
    My boyfriend texted me back a few minutes later and told me to hurry home because he thinks midnight might be dead. It was a horrible horrible joke actually because my boyfriend found our cat laying in the bushes by our front patio gate but he thought that Midnight was sleeping so he didn’t want to wake him up until I got there, it was a mean joke either way.
    So I come running to the front of the house and he shows me where he is laying and says he was kidding but that midnight is sleeping. I guess because I wouldn’t really expect him to be dead I thought that he was sleeping too. So I call for Midnight to wake up and I bent down and tried to pick him. I started crying uncontrollably because his body was cold and stiff hard. He was hit by a car. We found his reflective collor outside in the street and the little bell was crushed.
    His sudden death has left me grieving so deeply that I cannot put it in words. I feel so guilty of not getting home sooner. For not saying how much I loved him before leaving that day… For not being there for him and the part that really kills me is that after being hit by the car he ran back home to die alone. I was not there for him and I feel like that is something that will haunt me for so long. I wish I would have left and gone home sooner. I wish my mother in law didn’t let him out. And I wish I could hold him in my arms one last time…

  • natasha

    My cat Angel passed saway today from a tumor ad Trevor my other cat died last Oct. from cancer.It hurts so bad I wish I coukd take their place.

  • Tiffany

    My baby, Jade died suddenly overnight two nights ago. We woke up to find her lying there outside our door. I blame myself for not being there when she went and I just hope she didn’t suffer. I can’t stop crying. I wasn’t read to see her go, she wasn’t even 3 yrs old so I am not sure what happened. She wasn’t overweight, she was an indoor car. There is no sign of anything she could have gotten into. I didn’t even get to say goodbye. I keep waiting for her to wake up and come back to us.

  • Pamela

    I had my cat when I moved to Canada 8 years ago. He was there for me when I felt lonely. I remember every time I used to cry, he used to lay down besides me. I am planning to move to another city, and I was planning to bring him with me. He was jealous of my friends; he was very protective. Besides all my friends loved him. And one night, a raccoon attacked him, he was very weak. I let him go out to our backyard because he likes to do his needs outside, but he never came back. I was looking for him all around the neighbourhood, day and night I used to go to my backyard and look for his tiny footprints, but nothing. My mom used to prepare his favourite meal in case he came back. Yesterday morning, I was taking my coffee in front my back door, my other cat (a kitten) came to join me. I pet him and I knew inside me that I would never pet my other cat again. After a wonderful day, I got the call I was waiting, someone found him, but my baby was so weak that the person brought him to the veterinary. He was so weak, the doctors said that he wouldn’t make it, so they had to put him down. My family is feeling terrible, but I, her owner, feel devastated. I wanted to do so much with him, he was always there for me. He was so joyful, and now he is gone. My kitten sleeps next the back door waiting for his friend to come home. I don’t know how to deal with this.

  • Calev

    Last night at 8pm I found my baby boy Finn in my front yard. A car had hit him and the realization of his still body was the worst thing I had ever experienced in my entire life. I got Finn when he was 8 weeks old and he fit into my hands! He would sleep on my neck every single night and under the covers. He would kiss you and let you cradle him and he was truly an angel. I know he’s in heaven right now but I don’t want him to be gone and I want to wake up from this nightmare. Please Finny know that I love you and will always love you. You where the best thing to ever happen to me and I’m so glad you got to spend 2 years of your very happy life with me. Sleep baby boy and wait for me to meet you in heaven, as I know you’ll be the first one to welcome me. I love you very much and you will always be on my mind.

  • Patti

    My sweet little Zoe died on January 15. She had been sick with a baffling condition and responded well to the first round of antibiotics, steroids etc. But when she finished the medications, the problems would return. We went through this routine 3 times this winter. I had to bathe her every other day and she was so good and trusting. I miss her wise little face…and I will never forget her sweetness. I pray that somehow through the cosmos, beyond the things that separate us from each other like flesh and bone and time, that she knows what she meant to me and still means to me. I pray I will see her again.

  • Rich K

    my beloved 18yr old tabby passed this evening! Her name was Gerri Girl. she was eating this morning, purring this afternoon….I think she hacked on a fur ball or something and wham, gone within 30 seconds…im so devistated. i wish i could have done something…i had here in my arms when this happened. that hurts the most. Thougt id share seeing others out there feel the same about thier animals!
    i know time heals all wounds, but i think this will take alot longer…you dont have a cat that is part of your life for 18yrs that much!

  • Josie

    Cremation is a really good way to remember a cat. I agree 🙂 I also saw beautiful necklaces for ashes at memorialurnjewelry.com, maybe this will help with the pain.

    • Joe

      When my cat passed away. I had her placed in a pet cemetery in Palm Harbor, FL. It a regular cemetery. There are people at rest there. But, they have a section set aside for pets.

  • Marlee

    My cat just died and he sufferd because of kitty Cancer im crying ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????TIMBER!

  • Pearl H

    Our darling cat Apolenka has only passed away last night. Suddenly. She was only 4,5 years old and we are so sad and our hearts are torn apart. She was never ill, so it was sudden and I cannot bare it. We came home and she was lying on the floor. Our second cat, Charliecek still search for her at home and it makes me feel even worse. He doesn’t come to me close, he only sits on places where Apolenka used to sit. It has only happened yesterday and so we have a lot of time to wait. But I cannot stop crying and I am so overwhelmed and desperate and devastated. This is the worst part of life…. We love you Apolenko so so much, you were our sweetheart and Charliecek misses you so much too. I think I will never be able to overcome this….

    • Joe

      I sorry to hear of the passing of your cat. My cat Thomas was only 6 years old when he passed away. Then 3 weeks later I had to put my cat munchkin to rest. Blood test show he had cancer. Back on November
      21, 2015 my cat CJ passed away. She was 16 years old. I knew that that the day was coming that she would go to be with God. I had all 3 cats layed to rest at a pet cemetery in Palm Harbor, Florida. I go see them about every 90 days.

  • Kaci

    My cat Darcy died yesterday at 18:25 and I miss him so much, sometimes I cant help but think its my fault, all my fault. He had multiple tumours in his kidney and I didn’t know what to do you see I’m only 13 and my mum said she thought Darcy may die at one point during the night, so i stayed up with him all night, i picked him up to give him water, everything, The day after i spent all morning with him, i held him on a pillow he’d been sleeping on in my room, i took him to the small room where the nurse was and the injected him with this brownish liquid, he just lay there. I put my hand on his stomach waiting to feel his last breath, planting lots of kisses all over his face. When he died I took my pillow and left the room, Sometimes i get really angry at myself and say it should be me dead and not him, that i shouldn’t have let him go. I miss him so much, he helped me sleep, he helped me when i was watching horror movies. When i broke my wrists he lay there with me everyday. Now he’s gone. I’m never going to see him again, I have my whole live ahead of me without him and i don’t think i can do it

    • Perry Kellogg

      I am so sorry for your loss, Kaci. Please do not blame yourself, because sometimes these things just happen. Just know that Darcy loved you, and she was obviously very much loved. It has been two weeks since I lost my best friend, Emmitt. Just always remember and think fondly of Darcy, and she will always be with you ! Take good care young lady. . .

  • Claire

    This article made me feel tremendously better. I lost my sweet Bey (short for Beyonce) two weeks ago to leukemia/lymphoma. It was a shocking and heartbreaking diagnosis as this little kitty was my world. She found me as a street kitten at what seemed to be a little over a month old. She would sleep on my neck every night, and I truly felt as though she was my baby. She had good health from June of 2013 until January 2016, when I noticed her breathing patterns had shifted. I took her to the emergency vet, and they discovered a tumor near her heart that was releasing fluid. The fluid was filling the space around her lungs, resticting her breathing. Chemo was an option, but it would have only bought her a few more months and I couldn’t stand the thought of stressing her with medicine on a daily basis. We tried a prednisone treatment to at least make her feel as good as possible, but within a week that had become too much for her. The fluid was increasing again within a week, so I took her to have one final thoracacenticis to assure her breathing remained manageable and sent her to Rainbow Bridge with the help of an in-home euthanasia service. I am certain she was ready to go in her final days, but it still doesn’t erase the doubt and guilt that I am experiencing. She had a nice life, but it certainly was short. However, she was truly a one in a million cat. She was social, always in the conversation when I had company over, and always ready for a treat! I can’t even count how many friends who told me that she was the best cat they had ever met.

    Thank you for this article, it gives me comfort to know that I’m not alone in my grieving. She was a once in a lifetime companion, and her sweet and sassy nature will always be missed.

    • Perry Kellogg

      I know how you feel, Claire. It has been less than two weeks since we lost Emmitt. He was with us for 17 1/2 years and I miss him every day. It does give me solace that I did what was best for him, as it should you. No, you are not alone in your grief, and I wish you the best!

  • Joe

    On September 13, 2014 I revived a call my brother had passed away in Texas. On the 14th I left my cat Thomas at my vet. Thomas was sick at that time. I left him with the vet to recive his Meds. On the day of my brother funeral, I get a call from my vet. Thomas had passed away during the night. 3 weeks later my cat munchkin became sick. I took him to my vet. Blood test show munchkin had cancer. I had no choice but to put munchkin to rest. On November 21, 2016. My cat CJ passed away at age 16. All 3 cats now rest in peace side by side at pet cemetery in Palm Harbor, FL