“I’m trying so hard to Blossom but I don’t know how,” said one of our She Blossoms Facebook Group members. “I feel like I’m sinking instead of growing. What am I doing wrong?”
Her question has been haunting me because I’m in the same boat. Maybe you’re rowing hard and getting nowhere, too?
It’s time for a change, my friend.
Stop working so hard
I read self-help books, listen to brilliant psychology podcasts, and learn something new every day. Sometimes I even learn several new things in the same day!
But can I remember everything I learn? No way. Can I actually apply what I learned to my daily life, my interactions with people? Nope. Am I Blossoming into who God created me to be? Yes…but not because I’m working hard.
I’m Blossoming because God is growing me, despite my best efforts to elbow Jesus out of the way so I can get the job done “right.”
What are you wrestling with?
This is my primary struggle right now: I expect other people to say what I think, do what I want, and be who I deem proper. I’m shocked and amazed when people actually have different opinions than I do, and when they actually do things differently than I would.
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I no longer call myself critical or judgmental, for that was my old way of being. When I accepted Jesus, I died to myself. I’m no longer who I was before — and I used to be extremely critical and judgmental of both myself and others.
Don’t get me wrong — I’m definitely not a saint now! No sir. I still have rather lofty expectations of people and situations and dogs and laptop computers. Of course I’m still disappointed and irritated when they don’t meet my standards.
But I’ve been working hard to accept and love people the way Jesus does.
Did you catch that? That’s the problem: “I’ve been working hard to accept and love people the way Jesus does.”
Are you trying hard to become who God created you to be? It’s time to stop trying to Blossom. Jesus has a better way!
Create the right conditions
I’ve been practicing this, so I know it works. 🙂
- Humbly bow your head and heart before the Lord your God. Absorb the truth of who He is: powerful, loving, wise, creative, strong, just, compassionate, graceful, strong and true.
- Give Him your expectations of your relationships, life, work, children, neighbors, the world. Give Him your expectations of yourself, of how you “should” be Blossoming.
- Tell Him what you dream of, want, and need.
- Accept His will for everything in your life — including the painful circumstances.
When you spend time with God – allowing Jesus to be who He is and do what He needs to do in your life – your old self keeps melting away. You stop desperately clinging to how your life “should” be, and your heart melts with love and acceptance because you know your destiny is safe.
And — without having to work hard — you will continue to Blossom into who He created you to be. You will absorb the love, peace, freedom and joy of Jesus…and He will shine in everything you do.
What do you need to stop forcing in your life? Where can you get out of the way and allow God to do what He does best?
With His love,
New Articles on She Blossoms
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Sympathy Gifts to Say You’re Sorry After a Family Death – These sympathy gifts and ideas will help you say “I’m sorry for your loss” after someone dies. Whether it’s a sudden death in the family or an expected death due to an illness, all losses are shocking. We know we’ll grieve a family member’s death, but we’re often unprepared for the depth of the pain and shock.
How to See the Truth About Your Relationship – These 10 qualities of an unhealthy, bad, or failing relationship will help you face the truth. Yes, it’ll be hard. Yes, your heart may get broken. But you know what? You’ll be relieved to finally admit the truth about your relationship to yourself. And to others.
The Only Way to Stop Feeling Unlovable After a Breakup – Feeling unlovable, unworthy, and unwanted is normal after a breakup. But, just because it’s normal doesn’t mean you have to keep feeling bad about yourself! Learn how to stop feeling unlovable after a breakup, and start feeling happy again. Feeling unlovable, unworthy, and unwanted is normal after a breakup. But, just because it’s normal doesn’t mean you have to keep feeling bad about yourself!
Laurie's "She Blossoms" Books
Growing Forward When You Can't Go Back offers hope, encouragement, and strength for women walking through loss. My Blossom Tips are fresh and practical - they stem from my own experiences with a schizophrenic mother, foster homes, a devastating family estrangement, and infertility.
How to Let Go of Someone You Love: Powerful Secrets (and Practical Tips!) for Healing Your Heart is filled with comforting and healthy breakup advice. The Blossom Tips will help you loosen unhealthy attachments to the past, seal your heart with peace, and move forward with joy.
When You Miss Him Like Crazy: 25 Lessons to Move You From Broken to Blossoming After a Breakup will help you refocus your life, re-create yourself, and start living fully again! Your spirit will rise and you'll blossom into who you were created to be.
Previous Blossom Tips:
- How to Know What to Do – Blossom Tip 2
- How People See You – Blossom Tip 1
- Why You Aren’t Blossoming Yet – and How to Start