A reader asked a great question after receiving last week’s newsletter, When You Feel Scared — Blossom Tip 23.
“Laurie, you said to put on your white clothes especially when you’re scared. But what do you mean by wearing a silver suit of armor, a pretty ivory dress, or a white snow suit? I don’t know how to do this. I need strength to hold my family together after my husband’s death and I’m scared.”
First, I’m so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine the loneliness and fear you’re feeling, and I know it’s not easy to simply “armor up” and face the world. My thoughts are also with people who lost loved ones in the various shootings, tragedies, and losses worldwide.
Life sure can be rocky, can’t it?
When You Need Strength
You can’t erase what happened or go back to the life you had. So, you have two choices: 1) clutch the past and refuse to accept your new life; or 2) choose to move through your pain, and start slowly opening your heart and mind to the new season God has planned for you.
Here are two quick Blossom Tips for moving forward:
1. Choose your clothes carefully
Small, seemingly insignificant decisions can be surprisingly powerful! Those little choices trigger medium-sized things, which roll into big life-changing choices.
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Start small by wearing clothes that are colorful, bright, and — above all — you. Choose clothes that represent how you want to feel and behave without worrying about what people think. Don’t dress for your “image” or “style.” Rather, find clothes that lift your heart and brighten your mood. Wear colors that make you feel alive, happy, and you.
I love embroidered jeans, bright colors, and long sleeves. I never wear dresses, skirts or heels. I wear boots almost all the time, even in the summer. Yes, people comment on my clothes. Good; it gives us something to talk about!
What small, seemingly insignificant choice can you make today? Maybe you’ll choose to eat lunch in a healthier place instead of at your desk, or you’ll ask someone if they’ve met Jesus. Maybe you’ll daydream for 15 minutes, or turn off the phone for a couple of hours.
2. End the thing that’s over
It’s time to call it quits. That chapter of your life is over — whether it’s a barren relationship, lifeless job, or limp hopes you should’ve abandoned long ago. Maybe you’re struggling with the same thoughts and habits every day, and you can’t break free. Maybe you can’t get out from under the emotional or spiritual darkness you feel. Maybe it’s not your relationship, job, or hopes that are lifeless and flat…maybe it’s you.
How can you revive yourself?
You might start by ending something that isn’t good for you. You may not even have to do anything different – you may need only change your mindset. Perhaps you just need to accept that this is the way your is life right now. You’re in a season of grief, transformation, or fear. You need to decide to keep moving forward…and you have to remind yourself that light, life, and love is waiting on the other side!
Choose to end the thing you know is already over. You may not even have to do anything different; you may need only change your mindset. Perhaps you just need to accept that this is the way your life right now: a season of grief, change, or fear. You need to decide you simply have to keep moving through…and you have to remind yourself that light, life, and love is waiting on the other side!
Every season passes. The good ones, the bad ones, the light and the dark ones. You get to decide how you will move through this season of your life.
What do you think — what does it mean to you to wear a silver suit of armor, pretty ivory dress, or a white snow suit? Not just your clothes…how about your thoughts, prayers, words, and actions?
How do you armor up and and face the world?
On She Blossoms this week:
Laurie & Blossy
Laurie's "She Blossoms" Books
Growing Forward When You Can't Go Back offers hope, encouragement, and strength for women walking through loss. My Blossom Tips are fresh and practical - they stem from my own experiences with a schizophrenic mother, foster homes, a devastating family estrangement, and infertility.
How to Let Go of Someone You Love: Powerful Secrets (and Practical Tips!) for Healing Your Heart is filled with comforting and healthy breakup advice. The Blossom Tips will help you loosen unhealthy attachments to the past, seal your heart with peace, and move forward with joy.
When You Miss Him Like Crazy: 25 Lessons to Move You From Broken to Blossoming After a Breakup will help you refocus your life, re-create yourself, and start living fully again! Your spirit will rise and you'll blossom into who you were created to be.