“If you show up every day, you’re a hero!” says Blossy. “It takes guts just to show up and do what you’re called to do. Keep moving forward, sharing what you’ve been given and saying what’s on your heart – without judging or criticizing yourself.”
Sometimes, though, it’s easy to start feeling sorry for yourself. You may have a heavy load right now, or more pain than you think you can bear. You may feel called to do something that you don’t know how to do. Or maybe you don’t know what God’s purpose is for you, or what you should be doing.
You’re not alone.
When You Feel Sorry for Yourself…
One of my readers asked for tips on overcoming self-pity, so I wrote How to Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself.
Sign up for my free weekly "She Blossoms" newsletter
Then, because there’s a difference between her situation and feeling down on yourself after a breakup, I wrote How to Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself After He Leaves.
When I asked my She Blossoms Facebook Group what they do when they’re struggling with self-pity, one reader said she looks at her Gratitude List. Great idea! Let’s take it one step further…
Dig out your magnifying glass
When you see and describe why you’re grateful for a specific blessing, person, place or thing in your life, you bring it to life! You make it more tangible, tart and tasty.
Here’s a little example: I’m surprisingly grateful for my smart phone — and I rarely use it as an actual phone. I take photos, listen to podcasts, get directions (the MapsMe app is incredible whether you’re lost in Jerusalem or Ho Chi Minh City), shine light on dark forest paths at 5 am. And yes, I get to text, call, Skype and FaceTime people!
When you untangle the specific reasons why you’re grateful for a blessing in your life, you tap into the positive emotions. And that deepens your gratitude and internalizes your joy.
Tell them why
How ‘bout we go a little deeper, and express our gratitude to the people involved? Since my smart phone doesn’t care (and isn’t actually a person), I’ll share a more personal example.
You, dear reader, are a huge blessing in my life. You’re helping me grow, express myself, and share ideas for Blossoming into who God created us to be. I was scared and insecure about sending the “She Blossoms” newsletter when I first started, worried about your response, wrapped up in what you think of me. But you’ve shown me that Blossoming isn’t about me…it’s about a bigger story. God’s story.
Thank you. I’m grateful for you because of your support, kindness, and encouragement. You are a valuable, and your presence matters!
Go, now, and tell someone
Don’t just put someone or something on your Gratitude List: tell them why you’re grateful for them. Make it simple: “Hey, Massage Lady, I’m so grateful for your healing hands and warm touch!” Make it personal: “Hey, Mom, I’m so glad you gave me life — and for being here when I need you.” Make it true: “Oh, Jesus, thank you! I can’t even begin to imagine what you went through so I could be free and alive in the Holy Spirit. ‘Thank you’ isn’t enough. I love you.”
When you feel sorry for yourself — as we’re wont to do, from time to time — don’t just make a Gratitude List. Really appreciate how those people, places, pets and things improve your life, change your perspective, and make you feel.
Hold on to that which is praiseworthy, true, right, and good.
Laurie & Blossy
Laurie's "She Blossoms" Books
Growing Forward When You Can't Go Back offers hope, encouragement, and strength for women walking through loss. My Blossom Tips are fresh and practical - they stem from my own experiences with a schizophrenic mother, foster homes, a devastating family estrangement, and infertility.
How to Let Go of Someone You Love: Powerful Secrets (and Practical Tips!) for Healing Your Heart is filled with comforting and healthy breakup advice. The Blossom Tips will help you loosen unhealthy attachments to the past, seal your heart with peace, and move forward with joy.
When You Miss Him Like Crazy: 25 Lessons to Move You From Broken to Blossoming After a Breakup will help you refocus your life, re-create yourself, and start living fully again! Your spirit will rise and you'll blossom into who you were created to be.