“Every day may not be good,” says Blossy, “but there is something good in every day.”
Sometimes listening to a song is the one good thing today. Or maybe it’s bigger, like an unexpected compliment, surprise, or gift. Maybe a decision to go on a cruise, or finally take care of that thing you’ve been avoiding for too long!
Maybe today you’ll pick up a saxophone and toot your own horn. Toot toot!
Maybe you are the one good thing today. Maybe just being alive, just being you, and just breathing is the one good thing. Maybe your presence — or an email, text message, or phone call — is the one good thing in someone else’s life!
If you can’t find the good thing in today, be the one good thing.
Some Good Things
Last week in Someone for You to Meet, I asked for helpful books or websites to help us cope with loss. One of our members, Sandy, told me about Grief Share, which is a recovery support group for people experiencing loss.
You don’t have to face this alone, my friend. Reach out. Find kindred spirits. Look up with hope, around with expectation. Be gentle with yourself, and take good care of you.
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Sandy took care of her mom — around the clock — for more than 10 years. When her mom died, she had nobody to call. Her family was gone and her friends had drifted away. Sandy isn’t normally a joiner, but she went to Grief Share and says she now has a new family. She met supportive new people — and she literally wouldn’t be here today without them.
But wait, there’s more!
“One day, you will enjoy something,” writes Sandy. “You will laugh again. You might feel happy. When you do, you will probably feel enormous guilt. Don’t. You still have a life and you deserve to enjoy it. Sometimes it’s easy to feel that if you stop grieving, they will truly be gone. Normal, but you have to let them go. You have to live. If the people you lost loved you, they would want you to make the best of your new normal.”
More tips for healthy grieving, from Sandy:
- Everyone grieves at their own pace and in their own ways. Don’t let others try to tell you how or when. They don’t know your situation or the relationship you had. Things often more complicated than appear on the surface.
- There are stages of grief and you may go back and forth. Not a steady path.
- Healing takes longer, much longer, than people are willing to allow you. Honor your own feelings. If it is more than you can deal with, get professional help. Don’t be ashamed.
- People mean well but they do and say stupid, hurtful things. Try your best not to take them to heart.
- Don’t let anyone minimize your suffering.
- Be gentle with your self. Take as good care of yourself physically as possible.
- Don’t make any important decisions in the beginning. Wait as long as you can. Shock clouds thinking. Things will change. Don’t do anything rash.
- Ask for help. People want to help, they don’t know how.
- You will learn fast who is there for you and, sadly, who is not.
- You can survive. Someday things will look better.
- God is close to the brokenhearted.
Grief never really goes away. You will never be the same, says Sandy, and you can’t go back to the old life – no matter how much you want to. You have to accept the new you and the new normal.
It’s not easy, but it’ll be worth it.
This week on She Blossoms…
I wrote How to Break Your Addiction to a Toxic Relationship, for readers who can’t stop obsessing about an ex-boyfriend or ex-husband. Even unhealthy relationships are surprisingly difficult to walk away from.
And in How to Accept the Truth About Your Relationship, I offer tips for seeing what you don’t want to see. If you’re avoiding the truth about something or someone in your life, it’s because you’re scared of change. And this is normal! Change is painful and difficult. Even good, healthy change is hard to go through.
Take good care of yourself — for you are God’s good thing in today.
And keep your eyes peeled for another good thing. If you see it, share it with me. I could always use a dose of good 🙂
In the good name of Jesus,
Laurie & Blossy
Laurie's "She Blossoms" Books
Growing Forward When You Can't Go Back offers hope, encouragement, and strength for women walking through loss. My Blossom Tips are fresh and practical - they stem from my own experiences with a schizophrenic mother, foster homes, a devastating family estrangement, and infertility.
How to Let Go of Someone You Love: Powerful Secrets (and Practical Tips!) for Healing Your Heart is filled with comforting and healthy breakup advice. The Blossom Tips will help you loosen unhealthy attachments to the past, seal your heart with peace, and move forward with joy.
When You Miss Him Like Crazy: 25 Lessons to Move You From Broken to Blossoming After a Breakup will help you refocus your life, re-create yourself, and start living fully again! Your spirit will rise and you'll blossom into who you were created to be.
Previous Blossom Tips
- The Winner and Puppies – Blossom Tip 15
- Which Do You Prefer? Blossom Tip 14
- Believe in Open Doors – Blossom Tip 13