Here are the five main factors that answer the question, “Why do people fall in love?” Men and women fall in love for different reasons – some of which may surprise you!
Sometimes finding true love – a soulmate – is about fate. And, sometimes finding true love is about our innate romantic preferences or chemistry. These five reasons why people fall in love are based on scientific research that shows why we fall in love and who we fall in love with…
Here’s an awesome quote about love: “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” ~ Mignon McLaughlin.
Even if you find your soulmate, you’ll find yourself falling in and out of love, over and over again…even true love has its ups and downs.
Females have clear preferences for certain male body odors
Women are more sensitive to the smell of pheromones than men. For evolutionary reasons, both men and women have learned to be attracted to lovers with different immune systems than our own. “A complicating factor is that women on the birth control pill prefer men with similar [immune system odors],” writes Dr Pierce J. Howard in The Owner’s Manual of the Brain.
“So, when a woman who is on the pill unwittingly falls in love with a partner with the same [immune system odors], marries, then goes off the pill when conception no longer needs to be avoided, she will wonder how she got attracted to the smelly partner beside her.”
Smell is one reason why people fall in love.
Our image of our perfect lover is established by age 10
Galdino Pranzarone is a psychologist in Virginia who believes that our image of a ideal romantic partner may be set before we turn ten years old. According to him, finding true love depends on influences that affect us before our teenage years!
Why do people fall in love? For reasons that go back several years (or even decades).
There are no love potions or aphrodisiacs that make people fall in love
Other than prescription medication, there are no love potions or aphrodisiacs in foods or herbs, says Dr Pranzorone. An aphrodisiac is supposed to trigger intimate activity, but Dr Pranzorone says that any libido-enhancing effects of natural herbs or foods may just be a placebo effect. So, don’t fall for advertisements that say they’ll make someone fall in love with you!
Men prefer beautiful women
To learn about romance, chemistry, and love, scientists lead by David Buss polled over 10,000 men and women in 33 countries. They found that men prefer women who were physically beautiful and youthful, over women with high financial earning potentials. Why people fall in love – the science of the love and the soulmate – is influenced by factors that may not be politically correct.
Women prefer men who earn good money
The same anthropologists and sociologists in the above study found that women are attracted to men who have a good earning capacity. When looking for true love, women prefer security and ambition over physical attractiveness. The answer to the “Why do people fall in love?” question is different for men and women.
Both men and women are attracted to physical symmetry
Our romantic built-in preferences are about include physical symmetry. Symmetry is associated with beauty; and, there are several evolutionary advantages to physical symmetry. Research shows that men with physical symmetry have more sperm, more partners, and more extramarital affairs. Women with physical symmetry enjoy themselves more in the bedroom. Both men and women with physical symmetry have stronger immune systems. Finding true love (and a great romantic relationship) is connected to the symmetry of our bodies.
If you think finding the true love is all about fate, you may want to think twice! Your built-in love preferences may guide your love relationship more than you think.
Knowing why people fall in love is probably less important than keeping love alive once it already exists. If you’re asking why do people fall in love because you want someone to fall in love with you, read How to Make Anyone Fall in Love With You.
Why Do People Stay in Love?
There’s lots of research not only on why people fall in love, but also why relationships last. Here’s one reason love lasts. It’s not romantic, it’s not pretty, but it’s a useful tip for couples in love…
Falling in love is not enough
Here’s an excerpt from a Psychology Today article called Can this marriage be saved? “Perhaps the most important lesson relationship research has taught us is that marriage, like any other commitment, takes conscious effort to preserve, says Nicholas Kirsch, PhD, a couples therapist in Bethesda, Md.
“So many people do lifelong training in so many things — if you’re a golf enthusiast you go to the driving range a couple times a week. If you’re a lawyer, you take continuing education. If you’re an artist you take workshops. And somehow, there’s this belief that we don’t have to work at learning how to be a couple, it should just come naturally,” he says. “That, to me, is just very backwards.”
And the earlier you acquire the tools to maintain a relationship, the better, adds Gottman, who estimates that newlyweds who engage in his programs are three times more likely to succeed than those who wait until they need an intervention. “What makes love last is cherishing your partner and feeling lucky that you have this person in your life,” he says. “That act of cherishing is something that some couples build.”
If you never fell out of love, read Why You Can’t Let Go of Your First Love – and What to Do.