Here are five ideas to help you know what to talk about with your boyfriend. Don’t just ask him “yes or no” questions about sports, his day, or his iphone – get to know him better.
If you’re not good at asking questions that elicit conversation, get TABLETOPICS for Couples: Questions to Start Great Conversations. This game is a fun, lighthearted way to help you know what to talk about with your boyfriend – and it’ll help you get to know him better.
When we first met, my husband would call me up and just be silent. He wanted to talk to me, but he didn’t know what to say or how to say it. He wanted to connect, but he didn’t know how. Again, this is normal. We all want to connect, but figuring out what will bring us closer together is the hard part.
When you’re wondering what to talk about with your boyfriend, the most important thing to remember is that want to connect on a deeper level. You don’t want to talk about iphone apps, shoes, movie stars, or video games. You want to talk about stuff that is meaningful to you, stuff that helps you get to know him better. Stuff that helps him know you better.
What to Talk About With Your Boyfriend
If you’re not sure if you and your boyfriend are a good match, read Questions to Ask Yourself Before Starting a New Relationship.
First, think about why conversation is difficult
Before you make a list of ideas that will help you know what to talk about with your boyfriend, figure out why it’s hard to talk to him. Are you shy? Are you trying to impress him? Are you scared he won’t like you if you don’t engage him in fascinating conversation? Does he make conversation difficult for some reason? If you don’t feel comfortable with your boyfriend, then finding stuff to talk about is the least of your worries.
Maybe you don’t know what to talk about with your boyfriend because you and he aren’t a good fit. If you think this may be the case, it’s important to be honest with yourself and your boyfriend now.
Get comfortable with silence
I learned the hard way that men sometimes need time to formulate their thoughts and put them into words. When we’re talking, my husband sometimes doesn’t say anything for several seconds. I’ve learned to be comfortable with the silence, and let him talk when he’s ready. Don’t be scared of silent pauses when you’re talking to your boyfriend.
10 Things to Talk About With Your Girlfriend is my most recent article on communication in relationships. It contains many more ideas for couples struggling with what to talk about.
Pretend your boyfriend is your best friend
What would you talk about with your boyfriend if he was your BFF? Yes, you’d talk about him…but what else? Would you talk about school, teachers, music, hobbies? The secret to a strong, healthy relationship is to connect with your boyfriend as if he was your best friend…because being best friends will make your relationship last forever.
Are you scared your boyfriend isn’t into you? 10 Signs He Likes You will help you see how he feels.
Talk to your boyfriend about not having anything to talk about
Sometimes the best thing to say is the truth! Something like, “I never know what to talk about when I’m eating burgers and fries, because my mouth is full and strands of lettuce are hanging off my chin.” Talk about being uncomfortable because you don’t know what to talk about with your boyfriend. Be honest about how you feel, how awkward it is not to have anything to talk about.
Share what matters most to you in life
Okay, this may not be the first thing you talk about with your boyfriend, but it’s super important to take your conversation to a deeper level. What do you love most in life? What jazzes you up, or makes you feel unbearably happy? Are you connected to God, your parents, your pets, your teachers? Who makes you happy? Talk to your boyfriend about things that are important to you.
If you’re wondering what to talk about with your boyfriend on the first date, read 10 First Date Conversation Starters.
I welcome your thoughts on what to talk about with your boyfriend, but I can’t offer relationship advice or counseling.
May you always have interesting things to talk about – and may your relationship be filled with joy and peace.
Is your relationship in trouble? Get free advice and a free marriage assessment from marriage coach Mort Fertel.