The good news about long distance romance is that couples often try harder to keep their relationship alive. These tips for staying connected in long distance relationships will help you stay strong and committed – even if your partner is halfway around the world.
The Long-Distance Relationship Survival Guide by Chris Bell and Kate Brauer-Bell will help you cope with the more practical problems a long distance relationship brings, such as managing schedules, paying for expensive phone bills, missing flights, staying connected during your whole relationship, and so on.
If you feel uncertain about your relationship, read 5 Steps to Overcoming Insecurity in Relationships. Here’s what one researcher says about long distance relationships: “Our culture emphasizes being together physically and frequent face-to-face contact for close relationships, but long-distance relationships clearly stand against all these values. People don’t have to be so pessimistic about long-distance romance,” said Crystal Jiang, of the City University of Hong Kong. “The long-distance couples try harder than geographically close couples in communicating affection and intimacy, and their efforts do pay back.”
The first tip for a healthy, happy long distance relationship is, “don’t give up”! Stay focused on communicating your love and affection. Be steady and consistent, reliable and dedicated.
Long Distance Relationship Tips
If you met online, meet in person as soon as possible
This tip for long distance relationships is for couples who met online, but who haven’t met in person yet. It can be anxiety-provoking and even scary to meet an online romance in person, but the sooner you do it, the better! You’ll get a concrete sense of who your partner is – including mannerisms, habits, home environment, etc. It’s much easier to have a successful long distance relationship if you have a firm idea of who you’re in love with.
Arrange regular in-person visits
My husband and I were in a long distance relationship for about a year before we got married. I lived in Calgary, AB; he lived on Bowen Island in BC. We emailed and talked on the phone almost every day – but I found that our monthly visits were the best way to stay connected. I flew to Bowen Island once a month, and he came to Calgary once or twice. It was easier and more fun for me to go to Bowen – and I love traveling, so it worked out well.
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Be honest about your feelings
This is another long distance relationship tip that can apply to any type of relationship. If you feel disconnected or lonely, talk to your partner about your feelings. Be honest. Emotional disconnection in a relationship can be its downfall! Try to brainstorm ways to reconnect with him, such as seeing each other in person more often or talking on the phone at random times of the day (instead of the nightly phone call before falling asleep).
Keep your partner “in the loop”
I found that it was easy to avoid talking about my work problems and day-to-day irritations when we were in our long distance relationship.
One way to stay connected is to remember that nothing is too trivial or “small” to talk about. Those little irritations and joys in life (eg, the mad driver who cut you off in traffic or the coworker who took you out for lunch) can be the foundation of a strong long distance relationship.
Staying upbeat and cheerful is a good way to stay connected in any relationship, not just long distance ones! My last tip for long distance relationships was about being honest and up front about the daily irritations…but don’t go overboard. For every negative thing you share, talk about two or three positive things.
One of the most romantic, thoughtful ways to stay present in your partner’s life is to send a sweet gift every week or two. Read Gifts for Couples in Long Distance Relationships for ideas.
Keep your relationship private
It can be tempting to connect via Facebook, Twitter, and even blogs. But, those online interactions are public and accessible to everyone. Just because you’re in a long distance relationship doesn’t mean you should rely on online forms of communication – especially public forums! Talk on the phone as much as possible.
If you’re not sure what to talk about on the phone, read 10 First Date Conversation Starters. The tips are good ways to stay connected in long distance relationships, not just first dates.
What do you think of these tips for staying connected in a long distance relationship? If you have a specific problem to work through, I invite you to share below. I can’t give you advice, but it’s often very helpful to write your thoughts and feelings out.