If you’re down on dating, these tips on how to improve your dating life will encourage and motivate you! Feeling hopeless is the kiss of death, especially if you believe you’ll never meet someone you can truly love and spend your life with. But just because you’re not in love right now doesn’t mean you won’t be in a happy, healthy relationship soon. These tips on how to improve your dating life will help you actually enjoy dating and meeting new people.
And, you’ll learn why improving your dating life is so important. If you focus on the benefits of learning how to like this stage of your life, everything will get better. You’ll feel better, look better, and sound better – and all this increases your chances of finding true love and happiness. Because, let’s face it, that’s what you’re looking for, right?
“At this moment your chances of meeting the love of your life could be better than ever,” says relationship expert Dr Diana Kirschner, psychologist and author of Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love. “The average marriage now lasts under seven years and this means new singles are coming on the scene all the time. Online dating is exploding, with new subscribers signing up in droves. You have a lot of partners to choose from!”
Wow, that’s a positive way to look at the depressing divorce rates! If marriages are breaking up, then you have more potential partners to choose from. Interesting perspective – I like how optimistic Dr Kirschner is.
Before we dive into this dating expert’s tips, here are 5 reasons you’ll never regret improving your dating life:
- You feel more hopeful and optimistic when you meet new people.
- You actually enjoy going on dates, which makes you more fun and interesting to be around.
- You feel healthier and more optimistic, which makes you more attractive.
- You take control of your dating life. This increases your feeling of power, which translates to a increased sense of self-esteem.
- You increase your self-confidence, which helps you feel better about yourself – and your chances of finding true love.
Prioritize dating and creating a great love relationship. Take your time when you’re meeting new men to date, and really think about who they are. Don’t rush into a relationship before you’re ready, or before you really know the man you’ve been dating.
If you’re dating outside your faith, remember that he will have a huge and significant effect on your life! Your children, family ties, finances, social life, and your spiritual life can be uplifted or destroyed by the man you choose to date and spend the rest of your life with.
Deciding who to date – and ultimately marry – is the biggest decision you’ll ever make. Take your time, and learn how to improve your dating life in ways that are meaningful and long-lasting.
Need marriage help? Get FREE relationship advice from Marriage Coach Mort Fertel.
8 Ways to Improve Your Dating Life
The most important tip for improving your dating life is to figure out what your goals are. Here’s what one of my She Blossoms on Facebook group members says:
“Is marriage your goal? At any price? I know a woman who just wanted to get married. She thought she was unlovable and a husband would give her happiness. She married. She was still yearning for someone to love her. He wasn’t able to make her feel lovable; she was as unhappy after she married as she was before. The idea of being married to anyone was the prize. She assumed a lot about being married. Happiness is an inside job, and no husband can make you happy or change your life for the better. Know that you are lovable. Be your authentic self, the person God made you to be; find your soulmate within and the person that resonates with you will find you.”
If you’re emotionally and spiritually healthy – and you’re dating for the right reasons – then you’ll improve your chances of meeting a man you really connect with. True love!
The rest of these dating tips are from relationship expert and author Dr. Diana Kirschner, author of Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love — she describes several ways to meet more people and actually enjoy dating.
1. Remember that the dating stage will affect the rest of your life
Some single women are better at planning their weekends or vacations than their dating life! It’s important to prioritize what’s ultimately going to give you the most happiness…and while deciding if a Hawaiian versus Mexican vacation would be more fun, a relationship will affect every day of the rest of your life. So, take your time when you’re assessing potential men to date or get intimate with.
The first tip on how to improve your dating life is to actively strive to meet as many men as possible. Go on as many blind dates as possible, say yes to when men ask you out (unless your intuition is screaming at you to run away), and join as many singles groups as possible. The wider you cast your net, the higher the chances you’ll find true love.
2. Have a ‘New You’ party
Could your wardrobe and appearance use a little sprucing up! Invite your friends over for a makeover – but do it for YOU, not for a guy. If you improve how you feel about yourself, you’ll improve your dating life. Upward spiral!
“Order a bunch of pizzas or something simple like Chinese food,” says Dr Kirschner. “Invite all your closest friends to come over for a ‘New You’ party and give you a makeover. Have them go through your clothes and accessories, getting rid of unflattering stuff and putting together some hot new looks for you. Ask your friends for referrals to great hair salons or clothing stores.”
3. Improve your online dating profile
If you already have an online profile, throw out your old photo and description. Ask a friend who is also a great photographer take 100 headshots of you. Pick the one that looks the most warm, attractive and inviting. Get friends to help you pick out the best photo and work on your profile. Spend time on the dating site, sending and responding to messages and connecting by phone and in person with potential dates.
Have you recently ended a relationship? Read 12 Signs It’s Too Soon to Start Dating Again.
4. Go where the odds of meeting single men are high
Here’s a quick and fun tip on how to improve your dating life: Sign up for two ongoing classes or activities in subjects that interest you. Don’t fake it; find classes that you really want to dig into.
Look at the possibilities! You can take finance or investing classes; rock-climbing or golfing; snowboarding or skiing; hiking or biking; cooking and wine tasting classes — those are ways for single women to meet and date smart men. Coed community sports teams are active, and usually have a balanced mix of men and women. If you’re a single man who wants to improve his dating life, remember that lots of women take yoga, cooking, emotional health, and spirituality courses.
Another way to improve your dating life is to go to the “Meet Up” website and peruse the groups. Or, look into volunteering for a local or national political group.
5. Get comfortable meeting new men – both single and attached
How do you feel about meeting potential new dates? Probably a little awkward, because you are searching for tips on how to improve your dating life! Dr Kirschner suggests getting comfortable with meeting new people, talking to strangers, making conversation with men you’ve met once or twice.
If you are in a safe or public place, make eye contact, smile, say ‘Hi,’ or ask for some help. This tip for singles is what Dr Kirschner calls the “Marcia Cross Technique.” Actress Marcia Cross was in her forties when she met her husband by chatting with him in a flower shop. She now is the happy mother of twin baby girls! If you don’t meet many single men or women in your daily routine, try a new grocery store, dry cleaners, pharmacy or coffee/sandwich shop at lunch.
If you struggle to make conversation with new people, read 10 Interesting and Easy Things to Talk About With Your Girlfriend. It’s one of my most popular articles – and it’s not just for boyfriends who need conversation ideas for their girlfriends! The suggestions are general enough to work in all dating and relationship situations.
6. Don’t keep dating the same types of men
Most women don’t find true love in the person or place they expected!
Rather, true love can be found in many men you may be surprised to meet. Don’t discount a man based on his job or appearance; look at his heart, attitude, emotional health, perspective on life.
Dr Kirschner says a woman who only dates starving artists may end up marrying a rich, portly lawyer. Be open to surprises in your relationship, and you’ll improve your dating life! To meet more single men online, look at the photos and profiles of single people that you would ordinarily pass on. If you always go for the sleek professional man, for example, give the Midwestern farmer a chance.
7. Go on second dates – even if the first date wasn’t great
Sometimes we just need to get to know each other better, wouldn’t you say? Even if you didn’t really enjoy yourself on a date with a man, give yourself – and him – a chance to improve your dating experience. Stay open to a possible second date, because you just don’t know what hidden treasures are buried in his personality, life, and relationships!
Accepting a second date will improve your life by allowing both him and you to relax, and reveal the side of you that didn’t appear on the first date.
8. Be willing to make the first move towards a second or third date
If you have a great time on a first or second date, send a quick text or email the next morning to let your date know that you’re open to another meeting. This tip is especially important for women who want to improve their dating lives! Write something specific about the date that points to the connection or chemistry between the two of you. For example, if you went to a comedy show, write a message that refers to a particular joke you both enjoyed and add, “Let’s do it again sometime.”
Dr Kirschner encourages us to practice self-compassion. “The more you criticize yourself, the less motivation and self-control you’ll have to create the change you desire,” she says. “When your mind hears you criticizing yourself, it goes into a supportive mode, meaning that it triggers the vicious self-criticism cycle – the cycle of ‘What the heck difference does it make, I might as well indulge, feel guilty, and over-indulge because it really doesn’t matter. I’ve never been successful before so what makes me think I will be now?'”
However, when you practice self-compassion, you shift the supportive mode of your mind to helping you remember what you really want and need in your life. And you’ll be more gentle with and kind to yourself. This, in turn, will help you improve your dating life and find the true love you’re looking for.
Bonus Dating Tip
One final tip for improving your dating life is from another “She Blossoms” Facebook group member. She says…
“I suggest you look for flaws. Everyone has them and it’s better you know what they are earlier. Don’t let the feelings of love blind you completely. I watched a good talk on love recently and the writer suggested sharing your insanity and asking them about theirs.”
Nobody is perfect…but if you will find someone perfect for you if you date with both eyes wide open! Be honest about your weaknesses, flaws, and insanities. Encourage him to be honest with his. And after you get married, keep one eye closed so you don’t focus on his flaws, weaknesses, and mistakes :-)
Help Improving Your Dating Life
In Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor’s Guide to Lasting Love, Dr Diana Kirschner follows up on her previous bestselling dating guide for women (Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love).
Sealing the Deal is a unique guide to deepen any love relationship, to move from casual dating to committed true love, and ultimately to go from the anxiety of not knowing where things are going to the security of fulfilling and lasting relationship.
Yes, you CAN improve your dating life and find true love – if you take your time and learn how to enjoy the process.
How do you feel about these tips on how to improve your dates? Share below, I’d love to hear from you! Are you a happy single woman, or would you rather be in a committed relationship?