Can you predict whether or not you’ll get divorced? Some know divorce is looming. Knowing the top predictor of divorce is the first step to building a happier, healthier relationship with your partner. If you said “money” when you saw “number one predictor of divorce”, you are correct. Money causes more relationship problems than anything else.
In The Divorce Remedy: The Proven 7-Step Program for Saving Your Marriage, Michele Weiner Davis offers practical ways for couples to avoid the “divorce trap”, identify specific marriage-saving goals, move beyond ineffective, hurtful ways of interacting, and overcome infidelity, internet obsessions, depression, sexual problems, and midlife crises. It’s a wonderful resource for avoiding a potential divorce.
In this article, I share research about how and why money is the number one predictor of divorce. I also offer several tips for stopping the money monster from ruining your relationship. These tips are based on research from Kansas State University. Sonya Britt studied how income and debt lead to relationship problems, offers tips on how to stop money from predicting divorce.
How to Predict a Divorce
Even the healthiest relationships include arguments, but it’s not fighting or conflict that predicts divorce. The number one predictor of divorce is what you fight about – not how much you fight or whether you go to bed angry. The topic of the argument could predict the risk that your marriage will end in divorce, according to a Kansas State University researcher.
“Arguments about money is by far the top predictor of divorce,” said Sonya Britt, assistant professor of family studies and human services and program director of personal financial planning. “It’s not children, sex, in-laws or anything else. It’s money — for both men and women.”
Britt conducted a study using longitudinal data from more than 4,500 couples as part of the National Survey of Families and Households. The study, “Examining the Relationship Between Financial Issues and Divorce,” is published in Family Relations, an interdisciplinary journal of applied family studies.
How much money you make doesn’t matter. “In the study, we controlled for income, debt and net worth,” Britt said. “Results revealed it didn’t matter how much you made or how much you were worth. Arguments about money are the top predictor for divorce because it happens at all levels.” However, if you don’t make enough money to be independent, then how much money you don’t make matters a great deal. Read How to Get Money to Leave Your Husband if you are considering divorce, but are financially dependent.
It takes longer to recover from money arguments than any other kind of argument, according to Britt, and such arguments are more intense. Couples often use harsher language with each other, and the argument lasts longer. This is why money is the top divorce predictor – because it unleashes powerful emotions.
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The early you start fighting about money, the more relationship problems you’ll have. “You can measure people’s money arguments when they are very first married,” Britt said. “It doesn’t matter how long ago it was, but when they were first together and already arguing about money, there is a good chance they are going to have poor relationship satisfaction.”
Money fights predict low relationship satisfaction, but not always divorce. By continuing to have financial arguments, couples decrease their relationship satisfaction, Britt said. Even if divorce is not a possibility because of low income, the low relationship satisfaction could make matters worse. Aside from a negative effect on children, increased stress leads to a further decrease in financial planning that could help better the situation.
“We, as financial planners, can help clients reduce their stress through education,” Britt said. “This is important because people who are stressed are very short-term focused. They don’t plan for the future. If you can reduce stress, you can increase planning.”
Britt advises new couples to seek a financial planner as part of premarital counseling, pull each other’s credit reports and talk through how to handle finances fairly for both individuals. To find a local accredited financial counselor go to The Association for Financial Counseling, Planning and Education website. On the site consumers may search for a counselor by entering their zip code.
Britt warns of credit reporting sites that may have a hidden agenda. To avoid these types of websites, she suggests people go to Annual Credit Report.com, which is required by the U.S. government to provide one free copy a year of an individual’s credit report from each of the three credit reporting agencies. This site does not provide a credit score, but some sites use advertising as a source of income to provide free services to consumers, she said.
Britt recommends CreditKarma.com, which offers free access to credit scores, a grade based on age and notification emails if the score changes. Talking through tough financial situations — payment of student loans or how money will be allotted if one spouse stays home to raise children — will help decrease potential arguments, Britt said.
“If the money is not being treated fairly in the household, then the relationship satisfaction is going to be lower,” she said.
If you know money is the predictor of your divorce, read How to Deal With Debt After Divorce.
Britt received her master’s degree in marriage and family therapy from Kansas State University and her doctoral degree in personal financial planning from Texas Tech University. She is accredited in financial counseling, a Certified Financial Planner and a Certified Retirement Counselor. Also, she is the founding president of the Financial Therapy Association, an international association of practitioners and academicians. This press release is from Researcher finds correlation between financial arguments, decreased relationship satisfaction.