What to Do When You’re Tired of Being Single

You may feel like you’re the only single woman in the world – but you are not alone! Here are a few ideas for what to do when you’re tired of being single. I was inspired to write this by Tamara, one of my readers. She’s a 39 year old woman who wanted to settle down a million years ago. All she has ever wanted is to get married and have a family.

“It is so hard to plan a life alone and that’s what I’ve been doing for so many years,” Tamara says on What if You Never Find Your Soulmate? “I had a boyfriend for a year and he changed all of that. I thought we were a good fit. But it didn’t work out, I really am better off single than with him. I see that now but I’m tired of being single. It’s hard to be optimistic when you keep getting slapped down to the point where your spirit is broken.”

If your peace and happiness depend on whether or not you find love, then you are setting yourself up for a life of disappointment! A man cannot complete you or make you whole. Only you – and a meaningful relationship with God – can do that. Your heart, spirit and soul cannot be made whole by a boyfriend or husband.

I understand what it’s like to be tired of being single. I didn’t get married until I was 35 years old; I thought it would never happen! And it took me ten years of marriage to realize that my husband can’t make me happy. He is part of my life and I love being with him, but he is not in control of how happy, healthy, or peaceful I am.

Now – when you are single – is the perfect time to learn how to be happy with yourself. And then you can be happy in all situations: single, married, divorced, widowed. If you are your own best friend and favorite person, you won’t need a relationship to complete you. You are already complete…and a man will be delighted to have you on his arm.

tired of being single what to do
What to Do When You’re Tired of Being Single

What to Do When You’re Tired of Being Single

In 5 Ways to Find a Good Man, I offer practical tips on what to do when you’re unhappy and tired of being single. This article is different. It’s not practical advice for meeting and dating (eg, take a class to meet new people, tell your friends and family you’re tired of being single and ask them to set you up, etc).

Rather, this article is more spiritual in nature. It’s a prayer and a blessing that this season of your life will be deeper and more fulfilling than you could ever imagine.

1. Know that you will find the right man when it is time

I didn’t get married until I was 35 years old, and boy was I tired of being single! I didn’t know what to do – other than be as active, healthy, and happy as possible. I saw a counselor for a year because I didn’t know what marriage was like (I grew up with a single mom, and was in foster homes for some of my childhood).

What worked for me was to decide what it meant to live a meaningful life, and pursue that wholeheartedly. So I lived in Africa for three years, started my own business, and earned two undergraduate degrees from university. My prayer for you is that you never lose hope for a relationship, and that you focus less on how tired you are of being single and more on what you can do with the time and life you have.

2. Find courage to take risks

When I was 35 years old, I married the guy I met when I was 18. We were good friends for about eight years. We lost touch for three or four years – I was living in Africa and he was living with his girlfriend. When I moved back I called him. His relationship had fallen apart, and he, too, was tired of being single! It was natural for us to pick up our friendship where we left off, and even more natural to fall in love and get married.

What risks can you take? It was a risk for me to call Bruce after we hadn’t had any contact for a few years. He could’ve been married with six kids, or worse. My prayer for you is that you get little nudges about what to do when you’re tired of being single – and that you take healthy risks to achieve your goal of being in a relationship.

3. Work on healing your old wounds

Recognize how you’ve been hurt by others. Find ways to heal, to work through the wounds of the past and find freedom. The healing process can be natural and organic – but still painful. May you find strength to face your wounds, and be willing to explore different resources for growth. Open your heart and mind to the possibility of counseling, support groups, helpful books, or other ways to heal from broken relationships.

Start by reading How to Be Happy Single When You Wish You Were Married.

4. Be patient. Don’t rush into a relationship

One of the most important things is not to rush into a new relationship, even if you’ve been tired of being single for years. Research shows that fear of being single leads people to settle for less in relationships. Both men and women tend to ignore the signs of a bad relationship because they don’t want to be alone.

The stronger your fear of being single, the more willing you are to settle for a partner who isn’t a good match for you – or someone who abuses you. When you’re tired of being single, you’re more likely to date people who aren’t good for you.

5. Avoid focusing on how tired you are of being single

How do you feel when you think, “I am so tired of being single”? All those painful, negative emotions are emanating from your mind, body and spirit. Those thoughts and feelings are energy…and your energy is not inviting or lovely.

Getting healthy emotionally, physically and spiritually is the best way to create joy and positive energy in your life. You don’t need a life purpose; you just need to find yourself. Your true self. Not the tired self who doesn’t want to be single anymore, who feels old and discouraged! Your true self. How? Watch the movie Inside Out twice, and remember who you were when you were a kid. Dig into those core memories and emotions, and allow your true nature, personality, and interests to bubble to the surface. Start poking around in the attic of your brain, and be creative about

In The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass, Mandy Hale shares her stories, advice, and enthusiasm for living life as an empowered, confident, God-centered woman who doesn’t just resign herself to being single — she enjoys it! Being single has its downside, but it also has advantages. Mandy’s wisdom and wit will inspire you to celebrate and live fully, even if you’ve been tired of being single for years. Or decades.

tired of being single what to do

May you cherish the friends and family members in your life, and accept the love they offer. May you be open to all the various forms of love that life brings, even if it’s not romantic love. And may the connections in your life be fulfilling and meaningful. May you eagerly embrace the blessings offered by the people who love you.

I welcome your thoughts on what to do when you’re tired of being single. You may find it helpful to share your experience. Writing can bring insight and clarity, and will show others they’re not alone.


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13 thoughts on “What to Do When You’re Tired of Being Single”

  1. wouldnt it be great if someone somewhere set up something for single people alone at any time of year. You get to an age when your relationship breaks down and making new friends seems impossible.

  2. Well being a single man for me is very depressing when you have no one to share your life with since finding a good woman is very extremely hard these days since most women now are very picky when it comes to having a relationship. I know friends of mine that are going through the very same thing right now and feel as bad as i do. It is the women of today that are still single themselves making it very difficult for many of us good men really seriously looking for a love since most of the women of today are now usually looking for a man with money since they will only want the best of all and will never settle for less which certainly has a lot to do with it as well.

  3. And That Is The Truth

    Well for a very good man like me that really wanted to get married and have a family which i do blame the type of women that are now out there these days for that since it really does take two too tango. Most of the women have really changed for the worst of all since they will only want the very best now and they will never settle for less since they’re only looking for the Rich Type of a man today. And God forbid if they will ever go with a man that makes much less money then they make which it is very unlikely to happen these days. Most of the women of today have no respect at all for many of us good men either when we will try to start a conversation with them since i know other friends of mine that are going through the very same thing right now too unfortunately. Very extremely hard finding real love for many of us men since so many of us Aren’t Single by choice especially when we really Should’ve Been all settled down by now.

  4. And That Is The Honest Truth Of All

    Well unfortunately most of the women today are everything but Nice which is why many of us good men are still Single today.

  5. I’m fed up, frustrated of waiting, tired of being single. I hear and do all these things, but nothing. Sooo, I’m gonna find other things to do.

  6. I am sick and tired of this. Being single can be unhealthy and cause mental and emotional problems. Its not a happy life. Or a natural state.

  7. I didn’t get married until I was 35, and it felt like forever! What helped me was seeing a Christian counselor for about 9 months…I needed to work through my issues.

    There weren’t many eligible single men in the churches I attended. It seemed like the “older” ones (over age 30) were emotionally unavailable, or bitter, or just not stable somehow. It’s like young healthy Christian men get married right away, and the ones who aren’t really “marriageable” don’t get married…and they aren’t any more marriageable when they’re 40 plus!

    So I hear you. There isn’t much to do when you’re tired of being single…other than create a fulfilling, meaningful life through connecting with God! The more emotionally and spiritually healthy we are, the happier we’ll be.

  8. I know a number of middle aged women who would like to find a godly man and remarry.
    It is an impossible to find any. All have prayed relentlessly as the Bible states, but no results. All the good ones are taken. As a result affairs abound with attractive married men wanting a side affair. After continued loneliness and depression, women often accept these terms. God is not responding to their cries. I don’t fault them. Human companionship, affection, and intimacy are our greatest desires as we were created.
    Single women want the very same things married women want. Unassisted, they are very vulnerable to getting into an unsuitable
    Relationship. Not sure why God won’t act on their behalf. Just telling them no sex and no light at the end of the tunnel either will not be followed after a very long time of waiting and nothing to inspire their faith. Women should not be judged and faulted for this. They are doing the best they can without the divine help they at one time hoped gor that never materialized.

  9. Well for a Good man like me that really wanted to meet a Good woman to have a family has become so very Difficult these days since the women of today have certainly Changed over these years Unfortunately compared to the Good old fashioned women of years ago which were Definitely so much Nicer and much Easier to meet for the men back in those days. Today with so many women that now have their Careers are so very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, greedy, picky, and so very money hungry which makes it very hard trying to meet one that is Not at all like that since they really want the Best and will Never settle for Less. Many of the women making a very high Salary today will really Never go with a man that makes much Less money than they do which makes it very sad how the women are now which they’re very much to Blame why a Good man like me is still Single today when i am Not Single by choice when it does Take Two To Tangle. Quite a Change in the women of today since i have other friends of mine that are having the same problem and Hate Being Single Too.