You may feel like you’re the only single woman in the world – but you are not alone! Here’s what to do when you’re tired of being single; I was inspired to write this by one of my readers. She’s a 39 year old woman who wanted to settle down, get married, and have children a long time ago.
In The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass, Mandy Hale shares her stories, advice, and enthusiasm for living life as an empowered, confident, God-centered woman who doesn’t just resign herself to being single — she enjoys it! Being single has its downside, but it also has advantages. Mandy’s wisdom and wit will inspire you to celebrate and live fully, even if you’ve been tired of being single for years. Or decades.
It’s important to balance your pursuit of a healthy relationship with acceptance of your single life. If you fight reality or if all you can think about is how tired of being single you are, then you won’t be happy.
And if you’re unhappy, not only will you not enjoy your life…you won’t attract a healthy, happy, grounded partner.
On my article How to Let Go of Someone You Love, Megan shared her struggle with a breakup that happened two years ago.
“It is so hard to plan a life alone and that’s what I’ve been doing for many years,” she writes. “My boyfriend changed all of that, and I thought we were a good fit. I’m tired of being single, and it’s so hard to be so optimistic when you keep getting slapped down to the point where your spirit is broken.”
What to Do When You’re Tired of Being Single
In 5 Ways to Be Happy Single, I offer practical tips on what to do when you’re unhappy and tired of being single. This article is different because it’s not about giving the same old advice you’ve heard a million times before (eg, take a class to meet new people, tell your friends and family you’re tired of being single and ask them to set you up, etc).
Rather, this article is more of a prayer and a blessing for this stage of your life.
Believe you will find a relationship that fits you
I didn’t get married until I was 35 years old, and boy was I tired of being single! I didn’t know what to do – other than be as active, healthy, and happy as possible. I saw a counselor for a year because I didn’t know what marriage was like (I grew up with a single mom, and was in foster homes for some of my childhood).
What worked for me was to decide what it meant to live a meaningful life, and pursue that wholeheartedly. So I lived in Africa for three years, started my own business, and earned two undergraduate degrees from university. My prayer for you is that you never lose hope for a relationship, and that you focus less on how tired you are of being single and more on what you can do with the time and life you have.
Find courage to take risks
I ended up marrying a guy I met when I was 18 years old; we were good friends for about eight years. We lost touch for three or four years – I was living in Africa and he was living with his girlfriend. When I moved back I called him. His relationship had fallen apart, and he, too, was tired of being single! It was natural for us to pick up our friendship where we left off, and even more natural to fall in love and get married.
What risks can you take? It was a risk for me to call Bruce after we hadn’t had any contact for a few years. He could’ve been married with six kids, or worse. My prayer for you is that you get little nudges about what to do when you’re tired of being single – and that you take healthy risks to achieve your goal of being in a relationship.
Heal from old wounds
May you recognize how you’ve been hurt by others, and may the process of healing be natural and organic. I pray you find strength to face the pain of the past, and be willing to explore different resources for growth. Open your heart and mind to the possibility of counseling, support groups, helpful books, or other ways to heal from broken relationships.
Be patient – don’t rush into a relationship
One of the most important things is not to rush into a new relationship, even if you’ve been tired of being single for years. Research shows that fear of being single leads people to settle for less in relationships. Both men and women tend to ignore the signs of a bad relationship because they don’t want to be alone.
The stronger your fear of being single, the more willing you are to settle for a partner who isn’t a good match for you – or someone who abuses you. When you’re tired of being single, you’re more likely to date people who aren’t good for you.
Create a fulfilling life when you’re tired of being single
I pray you find the inspiration, strength, and faith you need to pursue your passions!
Love is grand, but it’s also hard work. One of the best things to do when you’re tired of being single is to create a life that is interesting, vibrant, and rich.
Are you unsure what to do about creating a passionate life? Watch the movie Inside Out twice, and remember who you were when you were a kid. Dig into those core memories and emotions, and allow your true nature, personality, and interests to bubble to the surface. Start poking around in the attic of your brain, and be creative about
Recognize the different types of love
May you cherish the friends and family members in your life, and accept the love they offer. May you be open to all the various forms of love that life brings, even if it’s not romantic love. And may the connections in your life be fulfilling and meaningful. May you eagerly embrace the blessings offered by the people who love you.
You may find How to Be Happy Single When You Wish You Were Married helpful.
I welcome your thoughts on what to do when you’re tired of being single. I can’t offer relationship advice, but you may find it helpful to share your experience. Writing can bring insight and clarity, and will show others they’re not alone.
“What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” – Colette.
Source of the info that people who are tired of being single are more likely to settle for unhealthy relationships: Judith Gere et al. The independent contributions of social reward and threat perceptions to romantic commitment. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2013; 105 (6): 961.