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How to Stop Cheating in Your Relationship

It seems like ending an affair should be easy, doesn’t it? And yet, it’s surprisingly difficult to actually stop cheating on someone you love. These tips will help you end the affair and start living in peace, freedom, and joy.

“It’s not easy to stop cheating in a relationship because an affair is an emotional connection,” says Sibella on Why Married Men Cheat – and How to Prevent It. “A married man is in love with me, and though I share his feelings I would never allow anything to happen. I don’t want to have an affair with him. I sincerely hope he and his wife find their way back to each other. His children deserve both their parents with them. And husbands and wives need to respect the sacredness of marriage.”

I have bad news and I have good news for you. The bad news is that because relationship cheating involves an emotional connection, it is difficult to end an affair. But wait, there’s good news! If you rely on God or a Higher Power, you will find yourself stronger, more powerful, and smarter than you feel right now. You only FEEL like it’s difficult to stop cheating. But the truth is that your thoughts are more powerful than your emotions.

You already know how destructive it is to keep cheating in a relationship. It’s destroying your soul, killing your spirit, and ruining your relationship with your spouse. You want to end this affair – I know because you’re curious enough to search for tips on relationship cheating.

You know that ending this affair is the only way to find peace and self-forgiveness. Now, it’s time to put your knowledge into action.

5 Steps to Stop Relationship Cheating

I was inspired to share these ideas for ending an affair because of a reader’s description about why she cheats on her husband. She didn’t ask for tips on how to stop cheating, but I realized from her comment how powerless and helpless she feels.

An article like this won’t give you all the answers, support, and help you need. But it’s a start! You’re already thinking about how to stop cheating – and your thoughts are more powerful than you realize.

1. Figure out why you’re having the affair

Instead of getting stuck in pain and self-loathing, start reflecting on why you’re cheating in your relationship. What is this affair doing for you? You need intimacy and connection in your marriage or primary relationship, and you’re cheating because you’re trying to meet those needs.

People have emotional or physical affairs for different reasons, but the bottom line is that they’re getting something out of the adulterous relationship. If you want to stop cheating, start figuring out why are are unfaithful. Maybe you’re a cheater because your affair partner makes you feel attractive, understood, and loved. Your emotional needs are being met, so you find it difficult to stop cheating.

In The Truth about Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It, marriage counselor Gary Neuman discusses several reasons people have affairs. Knowing why you’re cheating in a relationship will help you end the affair.

2. Find ways to meet your needs in your marriage

You aren’t cheating just because you’re struggling in your relationship. There is something else going on, isn’t there? If you don’t think you can meet your needs in your primary relationship, then you might have to seriously consider leaving it.

“Cheating and lying aren’t struggles, they’re reasons to break up,”  said Patti Henry on How to Break Up With a Married Man and Heal Your Heart. It doesn’t matter if you think you’re being cheating on or if you’re the one who is cheating in a relationship…you can’t continue. Long-term affairs – even if they’re secret for now – will eventually catch up with you. You will be destroyed emotionally and spiritually, and perhaps even professionally and physically.

3. Expect it to be painful to stop cheating in a relationship

It won’t be easy to end the affair even if you know how much it hurts your partner and children (even if they don’t know that you’re a cheater). Even if you truly want to save your marriage, you’ll struggle to stop cheating. Relationships are emotional and heartfelt, and even the unhealthiest ones are difficult to end.

Preparation is half the battle: expect it to be difficult and even painful to stop cheating on your partner. Get support, help, and resources. You don’t necessarily need to go to marriage counseling…but you should learn why people cheat in relationships. The more knowledge and insight you have, the more equipped you’ll be the end the affair.

4. Accept that you’re letting go of someone you love

You know one reason it’s so difficult to stop cheating in a relationship: you are emotionally connected to your affair partner. Even if your affair is strictly physical, your connection with the person you’re cheating with is strong and tempting.

how to break up with someone you don't loveRead How to Let Go of Someone You Love for ending the affair and moving forward in your life.

If you’re truly in love with the person you’re cheating with, you will end the affair for her sake. True love never drags the loved one into lying, betraying, sneaking around, and blackening each other’s souls.

Emotional infidelity or “affairs of the heart” may be seem difficult to end because you’re in love with the person you’re cheating with…but the truth is that it is more loving to stop turning them into a liar and a cheater.

5. Call on a Higher Power than yourself

You know you made the wrong choice when you started this physical or emotional affair….and you’re too weak to learn how to stop cheating in your own power. To end the affair, you not only have to accept that you made a mistake, you need to admit how helpless and powerless you are.

Rebuilding your relationship won’t be as simple as ending the affair and communicating with your spouse. Infidelity is a symptom of other problems in the relationship – and to reconnect with your partner, you need to deal with what the real problem is. This tip on how to stop cheating in a relationship is about getting as emotionally and spiritually healthy as you can.

Who is your Higher Power, and how can He help you heal? If you want me to gather tips for relying on God to help you end an affair, I’ll be happy to do so! Just let me know in the comments section below.

How to Stop Relationship Cheating

how to stop cheating in a relationshipIn When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts & Minds of People in Two Relationships Mira Kirshenbaum leads readers through six easy-to-navigate steps that will take anyone from anxiety to clarity. She also identifies seventeen types of affairs, helping readers figure out which type they’re in and what it means.

Are you having an..

  • “See-if” affair?
  • Ejector-seat affair?
  • Distraction affair?
  • Unmet-needs affair?
  • Panic affair?

Kirshenbaum helps readers figure out what’s missing in their marriage, and how to decide between two people you love. She’ll help you learn how to stop cheating in a relationship…or decide if you should end your marriage.

How to Stop Cheating in a Relationship – She BlossomsIn How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair: A Compact Manual for the Unfaithful by Linda J. MacDonald will help you avoid the problems that doom marriages after affairs, give you skills to cope with your partner’s obsessions and “triggers,” and help you find ways to undo the damage from your lies and cheating. If you want to stop cheating in a relationship, you need to learn the difference between helpful and harmful apologies, and focus on rebuilding your broken life, relationships, and integrity.

I welcome your thoughts below on how to stop cheating in a relationship. Tell your story, for you might find that writing about your affair can bring you clarity and insight. I have no advice to give, but I can offer my support and encouragement.

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35 thoughts on “How to Stop Cheating in Your Relationship”

  1. I don’t know why I don’t stop cheating on my wife with a lot of girls though she is the most good person to me and I don’t know why iam not satisfied with her I have tried to stop it but I still find myself in the same please what should I do to find the joy in my own wife and what could be wrong

  2. God is the only one that can help a person stop cheating. I am a single lady aged 30. Today I broke up with my lover a married man of 39. We have been lovers for three years. As a matter of fact he dis virgin me. He was and still is a perfect gentleman. He loves his wife and three children but we have been sleeping together at least once every month. I tried to let go but every rime he would just increase his show of love with calls, care, gifts and concern. Surprisingly he balances the relationship perfectly. He calls me secretly and lavished his wife and children with so much care. I knew I was wrong so I began to seek God on the matter. I wanted to be free. I wanted to draw closer to God without constantly thinking of my sin. God helped me, I began to build a stronger intimacy with God by studying and meditating the word of God. Also by praying without ceasing. The more I did this, the more it began to dawn on me that I had to walk away from this risky relationship. I told him, he didn’t take it easy. He was sad but I know with time he would heal. For me I had healed even before I told him. God had healed me now am focused on seeking God and living a life of purpose

  3. OMG..thank you. You’re right on point. After several years of telling my husband of 28 years that I was emotionally starving, I allowed God’s comforting hand to keep me (I never out right lied or cheated on him & had plenty of opportunity to do so)… Then it happened. After yet another big blow up argument (over the same thing) out of sheer weariness – I let my guard down, reached out to a friend (married also) we both know (James) and began calling, texting and sending intimate pics to him. I did this out of anger, resentment and frustration against my hubby. Yet I am oddly comforted because there has been low key heavy petting/kissing — no sexual intercourse., However, at the same time I can’t help but think if I continue with this emotional affair – sexual intimacy WILL occur. Since day 1 of meeting him 10 yrs ago there was ALWAYS an unmistakable electric current between us but we kept it in check over the years.
    Now after a month of lying, sneaking to see him he says he’s in love with me & really does not want to just let me go. I kept asking myself WHY can’t I leave this married man alone? He’s become like a drug for me & I could not figure out why – until I read your article. I have MS degree in Psychology & know what my triggers are. Yet, I am completely at a loss to just stop seeing, texting,, calling & meeting with him. James feeds my psych, emotions, excellent sense of humor & oh how I LOVE laughing & being told how gorgeously sexy I am especially @60. I used to model professionally & still have the body of a 35-40 year old :) Anyway, thanks for listening. I welcome ANY advice. I tried cold turkey with James & it did not work either time. BTW, yes, I do love him, but not in love with him. I do not think I am still in love with my husband as PAINFUL as that is to acknowledge for me. James is the only one totally aware of the physical abuse my husband has done against me within the last couple years & has not hid his anger about it from me. (emotional ties yikes).
    Ok, 1 last thing: Why yes, hubby & I tried counseling to improve communication skills but unfortunately he literally got up and walked out during our last counseling session because he did not want to do the work involved to improve building a healthy marriage. This was five years ago. Communication been down hill ever since. I struggle with being faithful because I’m so turned on by James I try to avoid ever being totally alone with him cause I am losing will power. OMG…staying in view in public places limits temptations to kiss, grope & be all over each other. This is tougher than quitting cigarettes after 33 years of smoking – but yet I did it with God’s help. Surely this emotional affair can be stopped with as less pain — as possible.

  4. I had an affair for 3 years, stemmed only from the fact that my wife continued to reject my advances for intimacy (for 10 years). We were in a sexless marriage (defined by having sex 10 or less times per year) the sex was unfulfilling as well,she was not engaged, there was no emotional connection, it hurt like crazy being rejected, so many negative emotions attached to that. Throughout the affair, whilst i was fulfilling certain needs, i felt like crap deceiving and lying to my family. Our affair wasn’t always fantastic, she was quite nasty at times and lied on occasions that affected my trust in her (Karma). We ended the affair and its taken a long time to recover, still recovering. I tried to reconnect with my wife, i broke all contact with the OW and self assessed my own behaviors to make any improvements. But the intimacy is still not there despite working very hard. I bought her flowers, nice lingerie and set a mood one evening to help move things along but all she could say is “what are you up to”, not the reaction i was looking for; the lingerie is still in the box. I don’t know if things will change, i have tried so hard, she tells me its not a priority for her and to move on! I do not want to cheat and lie again, i hate it and the best way forward might be to separate, start a new life, find someone who also finds intimacy important in their life?

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