It seems like ending an affair should be easy, doesn’t it? And yet, it’s surprisingly difficult to learn how to stop cheating in a relationship. These tips will help you end the affair and start living in peace, freedom, and joy.
“It’s not easy to stop cheating in a relationship because an affair is an emotional connection,” says Sibella on Why Married Men Cheat – and How to Prevent It. “A married man is in love with me, and though I share his feelings I would never allow anything to happen. I don’t want to have an affair with him. I sincerely hope he and his wife find their way back to each other. His children deserve both their parents with them. And husbands and wives need to respect the sacredness of marriage.”
I have bad news and I have good news for you. The bad news is that because relationship cheating involves an emotional connection, it is difficult to end an affair. But wait, there’s good news! If you rely on a Higher Power (yes, like in Alcoholics Anonymous), you will find yourself stronger, more powerful, and smarter than you feel right now. You only FEEL like it’s difficult to stop cheating. But the truth is that your thoughts are more powerful than your emotions.
You already know how destructive it is to keep cheating in a relationship. It’s destroying your soul, killing your spirit, and ruining your relationship with your spouse. You want to end this affair – I know because you’re curious enough to search for tips on relationship cheating.
You know that ending this affair is the only way to find peace and self-forgiveness. Now, it’s time to put your knowledge into action.
5 Steps to Stop Relationship Cheating
I was inspired to share these ideas for ending an affair because of a reader’s description about why she cheats on her husband. She didn’t ask for tips on how to stop cheating, but I realized from her comment how powerless and helpless she feels.
A little 1,200 word article like this won’t give you all the answers, support, and help you need. But it’s a start! You’re already thinking about how to stop cheating – and your thoughts are more powerful than you realize.
1. Figure out why you’re having the affair
Instead of wallowing in your own pain and self-loathing, start learning why you’re cheating in your relationship. What is this affair doing for you? You need intimacy and connection in your marriage or primary relationship, and you’re cheating because you’re trying to meet those needs.
People have emotional or physical affairs for different reasons, but the bottom line is that they’re getting something out of the adulterous relationship. If you want to stop cheating, start figuring out why are are unfaithful. Maybe you’re a cheater because your affair partner makes you feel attractive, understood, and loved. Your emotional needs are being met, so you find it difficult to stop cheating.
In The Truth about Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It, marriage counselor Gary Neuman discusses several reasons people have affairs. Knowing why you’re cheating in a relationship will help you end the affair.
2. Find ways to meet your needs in your marriage
You aren’t cheating just because you’re struggling in your relationship. There is something else going on, isn’t there? If you don’t think you can meet your needs in your primary relationship, then you might have to seriously consider leaving it.
“Cheating and lying aren’t struggles, they’re reasons to break up,” said Patti Henry on How to Break Up With a Married Man and Heal Your Heart. It doesn’t matter if you think you’re being cheating on or if you’re the one who is cheating in a relationship…you can’t continue. Long-term affairs – even if they’re secret for now – will eventually catch up with you. You will be destroyed emotionally and spiritually, and perhaps even professionally and physically.
3. Expect it to be painful to stop cheating in a relationship
It won’t be easy to end the affair even if you know how much it hurts your partner and children (even if they don’t know that you’re a cheater). Even if you truly want to save your marriage, you’ll struggle to stop cheating. Relationships are emotional and heartfelt, and even the unhealthiest ones are difficult to end.
Preparation is half the battle: expect it to be difficult and even painful to stop cheating on your partner. Get support, help, and resources. You don’t necessarily need to go to marriage counseling…but you should learn why people cheat in relationships. The more knowledge and insight you have, the more equipped you’ll be the end the affair.
4. Accept that you’re letting go of someone you love
You know one reason it’s so difficult to stop cheating in a relationship: you are emotionally connected to your affair partner. Even if your affair is strictly physical, your connection with the person you’re cheating with is strong and tempting.
If you’re truly in love with the person you’re cheating with, you will end the affair for her sake. True love never drags the loved one into lying, betraying, sneaking around, and blackening each other’s souls. Emotional infidelity or “affairs of the heart” may be seem difficult to end because you’re in love with the person you’re cheating with…but the truth is that it is more loving to stop turning them into a liar and a cheater.
Read How to Let Go of Someone You Love for ending the affair and moving forward in your life.
5. Call on a Higher Power than yourself
You know you made the wrong choice when you started this physical or emotional affair….and you’re too weak to learn how to stop cheating in your own power. To end the affair, you not only have to accept that you made a mistake, you need to admit how helpless and powerless you are.
Rebuilding your relationship won’t be as simple as ending the affair and communicating with your spouse. Infidelity is a symptom of other problems in the relationship – and to reconnect with your partner, you need to deal with what the real problem is. This tip on how to stop cheating in a relationship is about getting as emotionally and spiritually healthy as you can.
Who is your Higher Power, and how can He help you heal? If you want me to gather tips for relying on God to help you end an affair, I’ll be happy to do so! Just let me know in the comments section below.
How to Stop Relationship Cheating
In When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts & Minds of People in Two Relationships Mira Kirshenbaum leads readers through six easy-to-navigate steps that will take anyone from anxiety to clarity. She also identifies seventeen types of affairs, helping readers figure out which type they’re in and what it means.
Are you having an..
- “See-if” affair?
- Ejector-seat affair?
- Distraction affair?
- Unmet-needs affair?
- Panic affair?
Kirshenbaum helps readers figure out what’s missing in their marriage, and how to decide between two people you love. She’ll help you learn how to stop cheating in a relationship…or decide if you should end your marriage.
In How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair: A Compact Manual for the Unfaithful by Linda J. MacDonald will help you avoid the problems that doom marriages after affairs, give you skills to cope with your partner’s obsessions and “triggers,” and help you find ways to undo the damage from your lies and cheating. If you want to stop cheating in a relationship, you need to learn the difference between helpful and harmful apologies, and focus on rebuilding your broken life, relationships, and integrity.
I welcome your thoughts below on how to stop cheating in a relationship. Tell your story, for you might find that writing about your affair can bring you clarity and insight. I have no advice to give, but I can offer my support and encouragement.
Your thoughts are welcome below! I don't give advice, but you can get free relationship help from marriage coach Mort Fertel.
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