What are the signs he likes you? How do you know for sure a guy is into you, and not just dating you until someone better comes along? If you’re still asking “does he like me?” after you read the 10 signs in my first list, you’ll find the right answer in my second list. The first list contains 10 signs he likes you; the second list has 10 signs that he does NOT like you.
Have you heard about the book that’s a surefire way to tell if he likes you? It’s called He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo – and it’ll help you see the signs. But, the truth is that you don’t need a book to tell you if a guy likes you or not. You’re picking up on signs and hints all the time…and if you’re searching for signs that he likes you, you may be seeing signs that he does not like you the way you want to be liked. Or loved.
I know what it feels like to want love, to like a guy so much that I’d do anything to get him! I’ve I ignored the signs a guy didn’t like me because I wanted a boyfriend. I wanted to be loved. Sometimes I didn’t even really like the guy I was dating – sometimes I ignored all the warning signs of a bad relationship – because I just wanted to be in a relationship.
Are you losing your self-respect and self-esteem because you want him to like you so badly that it hurts? If you don’t know the answer to that question yet, you will after you read these signs.
Does He Like You? 10 Signs the Answer is YES!
1. He listens to you. You know a guy likes you when he not only listens to your thoughts and opinions, but actually asks you stuff about yourself. He remembers what you say, and asks how you are. You feel heard, and you know he understands you.
2. He doesn’t criticize you. On What to Do When Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Have Time for You a reader said that her boyfriend constantly criticizes her. She says she loves him, but is uncomfortable with the way he criticizes her clothes, work, and home. If your boyfriend is critical of you, then it may be a sign he does not like who you are.
3. He wants to spend time with you. This is the number one sign he likes you, so I don’t know why I listed it as number three! You know a guy likes you when he wants to be with you. Unless he’s going through a huge crisis at home or school or work, he will do whatever he can to spend time with you.
4. He respects your choices and decisions. Here’s an example of respecting your choices, decisions, and boundaries: you don’t want to have sex yet, but he pushes you to do it. That’s NOT a sign he likes you, even though you want to believe it is. It’s a sign of disrespect.
5. He supports your goals and dreams. What do you want to do with your life? Don’t make your relationship your whole focus. If your boyfriend supports your hopes and plans for the future, then you know he likes and respects you. He wants the best for you.
6. You feel energized when you leave him. Of course you miss him when you’re not together, but you feel happy and encouraged and good. That’s a sign he likes you: you feel good about yourself after you’re with him.
7. He shares his thoughts and feelings with you. This is an “iffy” sign he likes you, because it’s possible that he LOVES you but can’t share his thoughts and feelings with you. Some people are closed off, and can’t connect with their partners. This isn’t necessarily a sign he doesn’t like you. If your boyfriend is closed off, read Signs of Emotional Distance in a Love Relationship.
8. He pays attention to you when his friends or family are around. On my article about bad relationships, a reader said her boyfriend doesn’t talk to her when other people are around. This is not a sign he likes her! It’s a sign that he’s selfish and inconsiderate.
9. He accepts you for who you are. Does your boyfriend try to change you? That’s a sign he doesn’t like you or himself. People who have to change other people are unhappy, and will never be satisfied.
10. He respects you. An example of disrespecting you is calling you at 2 am when he’s drunk, or calling you at 8 pm and asking you to go out that night, or calling you names. In my list of 10 signs he does not like you (below), you’ll find more examples of disrespectful behavior in relationships.
10 Signs He Does NOT Like You
These aren’t just signs that the guy you’re dating doesn’t like you. They’re signs of disrespect and even abuse. He may say he likes you, but if he does any of the following things to you then he’s lying to both of you.
You know a guy doesn’t like you when he:
- Calls you names
- Cheats on you
- Lies to you
- Chooses his friends over you
- Chooses work over you
- Steals from you
- Physically abuses you
- Ignores your texts, voicemails, emails
- Borrows money and doesn’t pay it back
- Tries to manipulate and control you
If you know deep down that he doesn’t like you but you don’t want to let him go, read How to Emotionally Detach From Someone You Love But Have to Let Go.