Here’s the most important way to know if you can trust your boyfriend. This article was inspired by a reader who is struggling to know if she can trust her boyfriend, after she found him doing something she finds reprehensible.
If you tend to choose the wrong boyfriend again and again, read Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren’t by Cloud and Townsend. They offer solid guidance for making safe choices in relationships, from friendships to romance. They help identify the nurturing people we all need in our lives, as well as ones we need to learn to avoid. Safe People will help you to recognize 20 traits of relationally untrustworthy people. Discover what makes some people relationally safe, and how to avoid unhealthy entanglements. You’ll learn about things within yourself that jeopardize your relational security. And you’ll find out what to do and what not to do to develop a balanced, healthy approach to relationships.
The question most readers ask me is if they can trust their boyfriends. Most of the time they know the truth – that they can’t trust their men. But, they really love their boyfriends and they desperately hope they’re misreading the signs.
Dealing With Trust Issues in Relationships is one of the most important things you can do when you’re in love. If you don’t know if you can trust your boyfriend, you need to figure out why and how. Don’t wait until it’s too late.
Here’s what a reader recently said: “I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we have a child together. Tonight I caught him looking at porn on YouTube! He knows how I feel about it in any shape or form and promised he wouldn’t do it and doesn’t care about keeping his promise to me. Is this a form of betrayal or am I just over-analysing things?”
Yes, breaking his promise to you is a form of betrayal. No, you are not over-analysing your relationship! He doesn’t respect your wishes, he doesn’t care how you feel, and he’s showing his disrespect for you and all women by watching those videos.
Can You Trust Your Boyfriend?
If you’re asking if you can trust your boyfriend because something is triggered in you, then already know that you can’t. You are picking up on something very important that is telling you that you can’t trust him. It doesn’t matter what he tells you or what promises he makes.
“Trust your hunches. They’re usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level.” Joyce Brothers.
The most important sign you can or can’t trust your boyfriend are your HUNCHES or gut instincts.
Your gut instincts are trying to tell you something very important
What your boyfriend says to you isn’t as important as what your “spidey senses” (gut instincts or hunches) are telling you. He can talk sweet sugar and love you up ‘til the cows come home, but who you need to believe is YOURSELF.
Trust what you see – such as your boyfriend flirting with other women, breaking promises to you, or hiding his phone or email from you. Trust what your hunches are telling you, because you are picking up on subconscious signals from your boyfriend, the environment, and the Universe.
Why do you think you can’t trust your boyfriend? Write down all the reasons, both the concrete facts that prove you can’t trust him and the “feeling” you have that he’s not the man you wish he was. Then, connect with your spirit and soul: what is your body and heart telling you about your boyfriend? You have the answer in you. I don’t have your answers, or his answers. You have your answers.
You need to trust yourself, and know that you’re strong and brave enough to let go of a man who you can’t trust.
What do you think – does this help you answer the “Can I trust my boyfriend?” question?
If you’re still not sure if you can trust your boyfriend, read Is Your Boyfriend Telling Lies? How to Find Out the Truth.
I welcome your thoughts on whether or not you can trust your boyfriend. I can’t offer counseling or relationship advice, but it may help you to share what you’re going through.
My prayer is that you find a boyfriend you can trust, and who respects you enough not to make you worry about your relationship.