Here are several things to consider when you’re deciding if you should take your boyfriend back. You don’t want to make a mistake, but you also want to give your relationship a fighting chance!
On 7 Lessons Learned From Unhealthy Relationships, Susan says, “My boyfriend desperately wants me back, but I don’t know if I should allow him in my life again. We dated for over a year. I will admit that I wasn’t the best girlfriend starting out, because I still had feelings for my previous boyfriend. But my boyfriend was still super sweet and did anything for me. He grew on me. A year into the relationship he went to Marine Bootcamp. He was still as sweet as can be. I still have letters from him that remind me how nice he once was.”
That’s one of the biggest things that prevents us from making clear-headed decisions about our relationships: we remember how wonderful it was at the beginning…and we want it back.
Susan goes on to say, “I waited for him the whole time he was gone and went with his grandparents to his graduation…when he came back, I could tell things weren’t quite as good but I overlooked it. He came home and was very distant for the first month. He didn’t want to hang out as much, barely texted me, turned his phone off at night, and just over all didn’t care. I don’t understand what happened. He and another girl conceived a child. We broke up a year ago and he isn’t in a relationship with her, but of course he will always have the kid. He says the reason he did that was because of Marine bootcamp and not being used to his surroundings, etc. But how could that cause him to do that to me? Should I take my boyfriend back? Helpppp!”
How to Decide If You Should Take Your Boyfriend Back
Here are the most important questions to ask yourself:
- What has changed between your breakup and now?
- How has your boyfriend changed and grown?
- How have you changed and grown?
- Will these differences affect your future relationship?
- How will your relationship be different, and how will it be the same?
Before you decide if you should take your boyfriend back, you need to make sure you’ve learned and grown from the first time you were together. If nothing has changed, then you’ll run into the same problems over and over.
Have you dealt with the relationship problems?
In other words, have you and your boyfriend taken care of the problems that caused the breakup? If not, then you probably shouldn’t take him back, because you’ll be dealing with the same problems as before. He’ll run into life stress, and he’ll cheat on you again.
When you’re deciding if you should take your boyfriend back, you should not rely on your emotions to tell you what to do. You may love him with all your heart – he may be as sweet as can be – but love is not the main reason to take your boyfriend back. Trust, respect, and good communications skills are the most important factors of a good relationship.
Need marriage help? Get FREE relationship advice from Marriage Coach Mort Fertel.
Also, if you take your boyfriend back, then you need to ask yourself if you can trust him after he cheated on you the first time.
If you’re still confused about whether you should take your boyfriend back, read Your Ex Wants to Reconcile? 5 Things to Think About.
Your comments are welcome below. I can’t give advice, but you might find it helpful to share your experience.