Here’s what you need to know before you lend your boyfriend money. Financial loans are one way to show your love and support – but you need to protect yourself. Most of the time, I don’t think it’s a good idea to lend boyfriends money.
Read Money Magic: Unleashing Your True Potential for Prosperity and Fulfillment by professional investment advisor Deborah Price, especially if both you and your boyfriend are struggling financially. Making, keeping, and enjoying your money isn’t just about investments, salaries, inheritance, or dividends! Financial success involves knowing what games we play around money and the “type” we are in our relationship to money. More often than not, the financial choices we make are unconscious and fear-based because, when it comes to money, most of us feel out of control. Money Magic offers practical steps toward acknowledging the hold of money on our minds and emotions and then using those insights to create not only a better relationship to money but also the wealth and prosperity we desire.
Here’s what you need to know before you lend your boyfriend money. Financial loans can be a kind and thoughtful way to support your boyfriend when he’s having money problems, but the truth is that it’s rarely a good idea. If you feel compelled to lend your boyfriend money, make sure you protect yourself. Here’s how…
Memory “hiccups” and bouts of forgetfulness may be normal in everyday life, and are practically guaranteed when it comes to financial loan agreements and repayments! It doesn’t matter if you’ve been boyfriend and girlfriend for three months or three years; you need to take certain precautions when lending money.
How to Lend Your Boyfriend Money Without Regretting It
The reason I caution against lending boyfriends money is because you’re supposed to be figuring out if this guy is worth marrying or committing to for a long time. If he’s asking you to borrow money, then he has problems that go deeper than you should be willing to take on. So not only should you not lend your boyfriend money, you might want to think twice about being in a relationship with him. He’s not financially responsible or stable, and his money problems may have a negative effect on you.
These five tips for lending money to your boyfriend will help you both remember the terms of your financial loan without wrecking your relationship.
Ask why your boyfriend needs the money
Before you lend him money, find out what it’s for. This may help you decide whether or not you should lend the money. Only lend money for vital reasons: paying the rent, buying food, paying bills, taking care of children’s needs. Never lend money for plastic surgery, vacations, or other luxuries. If you don’t agree with the reason your partner needs the money, find other ways to support him or her.
If you fight about money, read How to Stop Money From Causing Relationship Issues.
Be “mean” – and draw up a contract
Even thinking about a contract or signed agreement raises questions about trust and love relationships — but you have to get your financial agreement in writing if you’re lending money to your boyfriend or girlfriend. A moment of discomfort while you and your partner agree on the loan terms and signs the contract is much better than not remembering how much money you loaned to your friends or family members later! You don’t want to get stuck with debt later on.
NEVER lend money if your boyfriend and you struggle with these signs of a bad relationship.
Put everything in the financial agreement or contract
Even if you’re convinced that you can attract financial abundance even if your boyfriend never pays you back, you need to do everything you can to ensure your money returns to you. This tip for lending money to someone you love involves being very specific:
- How much money you’re lending
- Whether you’ll be repaid in full or with a payment plan
- The dates of the loan repayment or payment schedule
- What will happen if your partner doesn’t pay the loan on time
- What – if anything – you’ll take in lieu of payment (a car, housekeeping or renovation services, etc)
These tips for lending money to your boyfriend will help you stop fighting about money in your relationship.
Remember: email and text messages are legally binding contracts
You can lend money to your boyfriend even if he is in a different country; you don’t need his signature on the loan agreement. Make sure you describe the terms of the loan in your email or text message – and make double sure that they respond with an email or text message agreeing to the loan terms.
Get a friend (a witness) to sign your contract
If you have a contract signed by both parties, you don’t need a witness…but it can’t hurt! If you should have to sue your lover in court for the loan repayment (and it happens all the time!), a witness can be valuable in helping you win your case.
Are you uncertain about your relationship? If you’re boyfriend’s financial problems are causing doubt, read When to Give Up on Your Boyfriend.
If you have any thoughts about lending your boyfriend money, please comment below. I can’t offer advice or counseling, but it may help to write about your experience with love and money.