These strategies for coping with relationship doubt will help you through the worries, fears, and confusion that you’re feeling. It’s normal to feel unsettled about your relationship sometimes – but if you often feel doubtful, then you may need to re-evaluate.
These tips are inspired by smart businesswoman and author, Lisa Bloom. Here’s what she writes in Think: Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed-Down World:
“One of the best things about men is their confidence, their rightness, their ability to go with their gut and produce,” says Rochelle Schieck, founder of Qoya. “I rarely overhear men in cafes talking about how differently they could have or should have done something.”
How often do you doubt your words and actions in your relationship? If you’re plagued with self-doubt, you’re not alone. I’m with you, sista!
Bloom quotes more of Schieck: “One of the most paralyzing things for a woman is her doubt. Do I have the right job? Did I pick the right partner? Are these the right shoes? Did I pick the right place to go on vacation? Doubt is like an anchor that keeps women rooted in murky waters of disapproval.”
What do you doubt about yourself, your relationship, your marriage, your partner, or your love life?
Here’s why you need to cope with the doubts you feel:
“Self-doubt brings fear, such as the fear of failure, of the dark, of being out of control, of not being good enough. We fear loving because we doubt our ability to love and so fear rejection; we fear being generous because we doubt our capacity to generate more and fear we will not have enough; we fear sharing our thoughts or feelings for doubt that we will appear wrong or stupid. Doubt brings mistrust, which appears real, even though it may have no real substance. It arises when the ego is threatened or undermined. Such doubt creates worry, nervous disorders, and even paranoia. It is the enemy of real happiness.” – from Why You Should Never Doubt Yourself.
How to Overcome Relationship Doubt
Do you doubt your ability to love your partner – or his ability to love you? If you don’t feel connected to him, it may be because your relationship isn’t founded on unity or love. Sometimes the problem can be as simple as feeling wrong about dating a coworker.
Figure out what you want out of your relationship
Take a few minutes to write down exactly what you want your love relationship to look like, feel like, and be like. What would you do if you weren’t paralyzed by doubt? Would you ask him to marry you, or ask him to go to marriage counseling with you? Would you move in together, or embark on a trial separation? The first step to shaking off your doubts about your relationship is to figure out what you really want.
If you can’t see your doubts and relationship clearly, read How to Detach From Someone You Care About. It’s not about breaking up, it’s about connecting with yourself.
Stay connected to your Creator
What’s your source of love, peace, hope, and self-compassion? For me, it’s God. Jesus. Whatever doubts I have about my marriage, future, work, or life are eased when I take a deep breath and pray.
When was the last time you connected to whatever it is that gives you strength and confidence? You can’t build confidence in your relationship and partner all by yourself – you need to tap into your inner wisdom and light.
You need confidence in something Greater than you. This will improve your confidence in your relationship, and help you deal with the doubts you feel.
Let yourself doubt yourself and your relationship, but take it to your Creator. Let your fears and self-doubts be cleansed with hope and love. Let your confidence grow, and let yourself know that things will work out exactly the way they’re meant to.
Are your relationship doubts and fears caused by your partner’s behaviors? Read Is He Right for You? Signs It’s Time to Let Him Go.
I welcome your thoughts on how to cope with relationship doubt, but I can’t offer advice or counseling. It may help you to share your feelings below, though. Sometimes writing about the doubts in your relationship can help bring clarity to how you feel.
May you move beyond doubt to a place of certainty and confidence.