One of the biggest questions a couple has after breaking up is, “Should I get back together with my ex?” These five quick reasons to make up after a break up will help you decide what’s right for you.
“When love is lost, do not bow your head in sadness; instead keep your head up high and gaze into heaven…for that is where your broken heart has been sent to heal.” ~ Unknown.
If you know you’re not meant to be together, then you need to focus on healing and letting go. If you’re struggling with obsessive thoughts or an addictive relationship, read How to Emotionally Detach From Someone You Care About. Take time to heal, move on, and focus on rebuilding your life. If you’re wondering if you should reconcile, here are five ways to know if you should get back together with your ex…
5 Reasons to Make Up After Breaking Up
Don’t push for something you know isn’t right. The first sign that making up is NOT a good idea is that you’re trying too hard. Even the best relationships aren’t easy – but if you’re pushing for something that isn’t meant to be, you’ll find yourself fighting an uphill battle the whole way.
Take your time before rushing into something too quickly.
1. You understand why you broke up
If you don’t know why you broke up, then you can’t fix your relationship and live happily ever after! The first step to making up is understanding exactly what went wrong, and why.
Are you confused or angry about why your relationship ended? Then you need to get to the heart of the matter – you need to be open-minded and objective enough to hear what your partner is telling you about the breakup. Sometimes a breakup is a wakeup call for one or both partners.
2. Both you and your partner are willing to change something in your relationship
When you’re clear about the cause of your breakup, then you can decide if your relationship problems are worth the time and energy it takes to fix them. Just knowing that your problems can be resolved isn’t a good reason to make up after breaking up! You need to be willing to invest time and energy to deal with your relationship problems.
If you know deep in your heart that you’re not meant to be together, read Dating After Divorce – 3 Things You Need to Know.
3. You and your partner have compatible life goals
If you and your partner have different or opposing spiritual, family, relationship, professional, and social goals, then maybe you’re better off broken up. Basic life values and morals aren’t easy to compromise on, and they’ll get in the way of reconnecting with your ex. If you dislike compromising or refuse to compromise on certain things, then you might want to let go of the relationship.
But if the things you disagree on are minor (such as the best type of car to drive, or whether you should live in a two or three bedroom house), then you may have a good reason for getting back together.
4. Neither of you are struggling with a serious life issue or problem
It’s not a good idea to make up with your ex if you or he is dealing with an addiction, serious financial problems, a family crisis, or anything that can cloud judgment and let emotion overrule clear thinking. If you’re serious about getting back together, you need to start with a strong, healthy foundation.
If you already know you want to make up after the break up, read How to Convince Someone to Give You a Second Chance.
5. You don’t have a list of problems he needs to fix
All couples have conflicts and arguments, and all people have weaknesses. But, if you’re fixating on your partner’s flaws and weaknesses, then it might not be time to make up! You can’t build a healthy, romantic love relationship if you focus on the things that are wrong with your partner.
You can’t change your partner. Think about how hard it is to change yourself…can you imagine how much more work it’d be to change him? If you have a long list of things your ex needs to fix or deal with, then you’ll be waiting a long, long time for him to get his act together.
The first – and best – reason to make up after a break up is the still small voice inside of you. Sometimes we don’t hear it because we’re too busy looking outside of us, straining to grasp something that doesn’t belong to us, or distracted by our own insecurities and desperate yearnings.
What is your heart telling you to do? If you have any thoughts or questions on making up after breaking up, please share below. I don’t give relationship advice, but you may find it helpful to write about your experience. Writing can bring clarity and insight to your reasons to get back together after breaking up.
Read How to Keep the Faith When Love Hurts if you feel discouraged about your relationship.
Is your relationship in trouble? Get 7 Steps to Fixing Your Marriage from relationship coach Mort Fertel. It's free and helpful, no strings attached.
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