These six tips for preparing to walk away from a relationship are inspired by a reader. She looking for practical and emotional advice on leaving a man she’s been with for years.
Divorce – Think Financially, Not Emotionally: What Women Need To Know About Securing Their Financial Future Before, During, and After Divorce by Jeffrey A. Landers is the best place to start when you’re leaving a marriage or common-law relationship. My first tip on how to prepare to walk away from a relationship is to read books about starting over, rebuilding, getting divorced, healing. Don’t wait until you’re ready to leave – start reading about starting over today.
The reader who inspired me to write this article said the tips I offered in the article about leaving a man you’ve loved for years were too general. I agree with her. But, the problem is that I can’t write specific tips because I’m not writing for a specific relationship! I have to be general because I’m writing for women in general, not a specific woman.
That said, however, I hope these tips on how to prepare to walk away from a relationship are a bit more specific.
6 Tips for Preparing to Walk Away From a Relationship
Know you’ll never be 100% ready. On How to Leave a Man You Love, my reader says, “I am ready, but how? How do I walk away from 11 years, how do I prepare to move my things and sort a home and at the same time deal with the barrage of emotion that will come from him and within?” The first tip on preparing to walk away from a relationship is accepting that you will never feel fully ready. If you wait until you feel confident – with all practical and emotional matters taken care of – then you won’t be leaving your relationship any time soon.
Expect the breakup to be overwhelming – but know that you can handle it. When you’re preparing to walk away from a relationship, you will feel overwhelmed with all the practical necessities. You may feel emotionally overwhelmed by the feelings of grief, disappointment, depression, anger, and guilt. Now is the time to prepare for the storm of emotions that will come and go. Now is also the time to keep telling yourself that you can handle everything that is coming your way!
Connect with God. The best way to prepare to walk away from a relationship is to get strength from Someone outside yourself. This is your Creator…how is your relationship with Him? If you want to survive the storm that is coming, you need to anchor yourself to a rock of peace, love, stability, and joy. Honestly, this should be the first tip for preparing to walk away because it’s the most important! There is no way you’ll survive intact if you don’t hold steadfast to the Source of all strength and energy.
Get your finances in order. If you don’t have enough money to live on your own, read How to Get Money to Leave Your Husband. It may take months or years to make financial preparations to walk away from your relationship – or you may have to swallow your pride and move in with a friend or family member. Many women on this site are reluctant to go to a women’s shelter for help, but that may be the only choice you have if you want to leave this relationship now.
Talk to other women who started over. This is one of the best ways to prepare to walk away from a relationship: talk to women who’ve “been there, done that.” Ask what the most difficult part of leaving was. What was the biggest surprise about starting over? Who – or what – was their biggest source of support? What do they wish they would’ve done differently? Why did they leave, and where did they go?
Take it one step at a time. I can’t tell you exactly how to walk away from a relationship because I don’t know your exact situation. I don’t know what resources, strengths, or supports you have. But you do! You know what you need, and you know what you have. One thing I know you have is the ability to take it one step at a time when you’re preparing to walk away from a relationship. You can’t deal with everything right now – it’s too much. But you can take one step, and then another, and then a third. Before you know it you’ll be running strong and brave and free and clear! You won’t know how you did it, but there you’ll be nonetheless. Looking back on how far you’ve come, and being grateful for everything you experienced.
My prayer for all women who are preparing to walk away from a relationship: May you turn to your Creator for strength, love, hope, and energy. May you learn how to lean on God for endurance and stamina, security and wisdom. I pray that you seek His guidance, and that all circumstances line up to support you as you start a fresh new chapter of your life. Amen.
I welcome your thoughts on how to prepare to walk away from a relationship. I can’t give specific practical or emotional advice, but sometimes it helps just to write about what you’re going through. Namaste.