The power of prayer in marriage is more than “just” a spiritual connection with God. Praying with your partner can change how you see your relationship, and bring you closer together.
If praying as a couple is new to you, read Couples Who Pray: The Most Intimate Act Between a Man and a Woman by Squire Rushnell and Louise DuArt.
The power of a praying husband and wife isn’t about making God do what you want or getting everything you want out of life…it’s about changing who you are as a married couple. It’s about adding spirituality to your marriage, which can improve your physical, mental, and emotional health as individuals and as a couple.
If you’re not sure if you could pray with your partner, read take this Compatibility Test for Couples. It’s important to know if you’re aligned in values, beliefs, and goals. And, below are several reasons to pray with your husband or wife, plus a few tips for praying as a couple…
Why Pray With Your Partner?
I have to admit – the first time Bruce and I prayed together was really weird! I didn’t have the courage to initiate a prayer, but my husband just grabbed my hand, jumped right in, and started praying. This was about two months before we were married…and we’ve been praying every night since.
Praying increases the spiritual connection in your marriage
Praying together brings you closer together. My blog partner Gini might say something about spiritual energy – she might say the power of prayer in marriage meshes your spiritual energy with your spouse’s, and makes you both stronger and more connected. I don’t know exactly how it works, but something definitely happens when you pray with other people, whether it’s your spouse or someone you just met.
Praying increases your knowledge of your husband or wife
I didn’t realize how gentle and caring my husband was until we prayed together. Even now, he’ll pray about something or someone that surprises or even shocks me! Praying together allows me a glimpse into his heart and soul, which I wouldn’t otherwise have.
Praying as a couple softens your heart
When I’m angry at my husband, I refuse to pray with him. This has happened twice in four years of marriage; I can’t be spiritually intimate with my husband when my heart is full of black resentment or bitterness. But, I’ve learned that when we’re just irritated with or “ho hum” about each other, the act of praying together softens ours heart and increases our feelings of love. Praying with your partner can heal your hurts and help you forgive.
Tips for Praying With Your Partner
If you can’t see yourself praying with your partner because you feel insecure or weird, read How to Find Yourself After Getting Lost in a Relationship.
Say what’s on your heart – and direct your comments to God
Don’t use your prayer time as a couple to vent frustrations, make veiled criticisms, or ask your husband or wife to do something for you. This may sound obvious, but I’ve heard prayers that sound more like lectures or gossip sessions than true communication with God!
Incorporate periods of silence
My husband and I have often talked about staying silent during our prayers, instead of “just” talking to God. But, we’ve never taken the step into truly sitting and listening for God’s word or direction…we’re always the ones doing the talking. Perhaps one day we’ll learn the power of silence in our prayers, but for now, we’re content to pray the way we do.
Pray as regularly as possible
Praying together as a couple is a habit that takes time to develop – and one that is very, very easy to lose. My husband and I have missed as many as four or five nights in a row because of travel, houseguests, periods of illness, etc – and it’s surprisingly difficult to get back into the habit of praying together, even when you’ve experienced firsthand the power of praying with your husband or wife! One of the best ways to build a spiritual marriage is to pray as regularly as possible — no matter how tired, busy, or cranky you are.
Do you pray with your husband or wife – or would you like to? I welcome your thoughts and comments below…
Is your relationship in trouble? Get 7 Steps to Fixing Your Marriage from relationship coach Mort Fertel. It's free and helpful, no strings attached.
Need encouragement? Sign up for my weekly "Echoes of Joy" email - it's free, short, and energizing. Like me!
“Prayer does not change God, but it changes him who prays.” ~ Søren Kierkegaard.