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How to Leave Your Husband When You Have No Money

How do you leave an unhappy marriage or bad relationship when you have no money? These tips may not miraculously help you get money to leave your husband, but they’ll show you that you’re not alone. You’ll find support and companionship here, and feel the strength and courage of other women.

I was inspired to write this article by a reader who feels trapped and unhappy in her marriage…

“I want to leave my husband but I have no money,” says Christine on 9 Ways to Know if Your Husband is Lying About Cheating “I have two kids, I’m pregnant with my third, and I just don’t know where to go. I have no family who can help, they live in a different state. I have nowhere to go. I lost my job, and I am trying to finish school. I don’t have money to leave. I don’t know what to do. I am so hurt, scared, sad, angry and just alone now. I have three beautiful kids with him and I hate to think how much this will hurt them. I can’t believe I was a fool and let him do this to me time after time. Can you tell me how to leave your husband when you have no money to support yourself?”


I wish I had the perfect solution and the right things to say to you. You may feel lonely, lost, and trapped in your marriage – and you have no idea how to leave your husband when you have no money. I wish you didn’t have to go through this, and I hope you find some comfort and hope here!

Read through my tips below, and spend some time in the readers’ comments at the end of this article. Some women are struggling to learn how to live with a husband they wish they never married, while others are making plans to escape a terrible marriage. Some women are in relationship counseling with their husbands, while others are coping with a shocking marriage breakup.

As you can see from their comments below, everyone is at a different stage of marriage. But one thing is the same for everyone: the struggle to leave your husband when you have no money.

How to Leave Your Husband When You Have No Money

Blossy

One of the first things to do is to find small ways to take control of your life that don’t cost money.

Maybe this means finding ways to earn a little bit of spending money, even by babysitting, cleaning houses, or becoming a virtual assistant. You need to inventory your skills and abilities, and find ways to optimize them. You’ll never have enough money to leave your husband unless you start taking action. You’ll feel scared and anxious – we all do when we’re making big life moves – but now is the time for you to learn as much as you can about money and your financial future.

One of the most important things to deal with right away is how you feel. If you feel powerless and helpless, you won’t have energy or confidence to work towards getting money to leave your husband. Start doing things that help you feel powerful, strong, and confident.

Leaving Your Husband When You Have No Money

These tips are all about taking action. If you really want to change your life and leave a guy who doesn’t love or honor you, you need to start moving forward. You can’t get financial support unless you start reaching out for it. Once you start reaching out with a positive mindset, you’ll be shocked at how easily money will come to you.

Here’s what one reader told me she’s doing to earn money to leave her marriage:

  1. Collecting cans and turning them in for cash
  2. Asking my neighbors if they have any odd paying jobs I can do, such as washing windows, weeding gardens, etc.
  3. Taking online surveys to make a few extra bucks a day (about $3, not a huge amount but it helps build my stash)
  4. Every few times I go to the grocery store or Walmart etc, I buy a $5 gift card. Even if can only do $.50 etc do it!
  5. Selling household items on ebay. May only profit $.75 but again, all small steps leads to bigger rewards. kids your kids outgrown clothes etc. You would be amazed at what sells!
  6. Using coupons to get free and store the TP, toothpaste etc in a box or at a friends. Again, little things add up. I have a box of Shampoo, toothpaste, soap, TP, etc ready to go. This will help me when I am starting out and not having to buy and spend what little money I have

Every journey starts with a few small steps – and sometimes the best step is visualizing what you’ll say when you finally do have money to leave your husband. Start dreaming about your life, planning your future, and thinking about all the possibilities.

1. Remember that help is out there – but you have to ask for it

Many financially dependent wives say they have no help, nobody to support them, nobody to go stay with. They may feel that way, but it’s not the truth. How do I know? Because if my neighbor came over and said she has no money to leave her husband and asked me for help, I’d do something. I may not give her money, but I’d help her and her kids in some way.


If you have nowhere to go, read What to Expect at a Women’s Shelter or Safe House.

I also know that wives who feel alone aren’t really alone because my mom was a single parent. She was also schizophrenic, and we moved to new city every six months or so. She had no friends, no money, and a severe mental illness…and yet she managed to find money help! How did she find it? She went to Social Services, to churches, and to my grandma for help. Don’t think of yourself as “trapped” – though I know that if you’re looking for ways to get money to leave your husband, that’s exactly how you feel. Focus on the fact that you WILL get money to leave your husband. It’s just a matter of time and planning. And taking action.

2. Learn how to think strategically, not emotionally

how to leave your husband no moneyIn A Woman’s Guide To Financial Security After Divorce: The Basics: Creating A Solid Foundation (Think Financially, Not Emotionally®), Jeffrey Landers describes the critical first steps you need to take after your divorce to establish long-term financial stability. It’s extremely important for you to learn how to support your goals and vision with a sustainable spending plan that ensures your long-term financial security.

When you’re searching for tips on how to leave your husband when you have no money, you need to know the pros and cons of keeping your marital home and how to determine if selling makes better financial sense. You can’t rely on your emotions when you’re planning your future; you need to learn about reverse mortgages and why this unique tool might be a wise choice for you.

Yes, you need money right now. But you also need to start thinking about smart ways to use your retirement and investment accounts – and other sources of income – to add to your cash-flow and extend your financial longevity. You have to learn which assets are most favorable and what strategies are best for managing (and ultimately paying off) liabilities. This is part of taking action, and it will help you feel more in control of your life.

3. Create a plan to leave your marriage – it’ll make asking for financial help easier

If you have a plan, you’ll feel more confident reaching out for financial support from your family members. How much money does it cost to feed and care for your kids? Prepare to make sacrifices, and remember that they can have a happy, healthy childhood without iPhones, laptops, or video games.

It’s hard to think about leaving your husband when you have no money, but maybe it’s time to ask the difficult questions. Can you stay with family or friends while you save money for your own place? How will you support yourself?

If you have a specific plan to leave, you may find it easier to ask for financial help. If you’re asking family members to help support you with money, learn about financial contracts and loans between family members. Show your family that you’re humbled and scared, but you’re serious about leaving your husband and starting over.

4. Learn what types of financial support you’re eligible for

Talk to Social Services about financial resources for single parents. Start by calling the office closest to you. If they can’t offer money or other help, ask them for three other numbers to call. Call your church, and talk to your pastor. Don’t just ask for financial and spiritual support; ask for practical resources that can help you leave. Ask to be connected with other women who were financially dependent, who rebuilt their lives.

Every three months, canvassers from the Single Parents Food Bank come to our door, asking for donations. My husband gives money every single time because he knows single parents need money help because raising kids is expensive. But it’s not impossible, my friend.

5. Open your own savings or checking account

Many financially dependent women don’t have their own checking or savings accounts. No problem! Even if you only have $10 to your name, you need to get to the bank and start your journey to financial dependence…and perhaps even wealth! And yes, single income families often live close to the poverty line. I grew up poorer than dirt – we even slept outside a few times. But I grew up to be a strong, vibrant, smart, educated, motivated, happy, Christian woman. I learned resilience and strength from my single parent childhood – and I respect my mom, who had no money and nowhere to go, but she left her husband.

Do you have a checking or savings account? Go to your nearest bank – or do some online research about financial institutions – and find out what you need to open your own account.

Leaving your husband when you have no money won’t be easy, but it may be worth the struggle.

6. Stay focused on your future

It’s easy to get overwhelmed, anxious, scared, and depressed about the journey you’re about to go on. Don’t let negativity or fear stop you from leaving your husband! Stay focused on what you will achieve in your life, and how much better it will be for your kids and yourself. Write down your goals for a year from now: how much money do you want to be making? What friends do you want to spend time with? How do you want to spend your days? Remember that it takes time to save enough money to leave your husband.

Start a journal, and write down all your hopes, dreams, and plans. Don’t let your current situation stop you from dreaming. Your thoughts really do determine your future – and it is now time to starting Blossoming into the woman you were created to be.

7. Get strength from women who felt financially trapped, but left their husbands

leave husband no money

“13 Ways to Get Money to Leave Your Husband”

“I was in that situation for 23 years,” says Sheila in response to How to Know if Divorce is the Best Option. “I finally opened up my own checking account, started saving a bit at a time, and made plans. When I finally made up my mind to leave, it took less than a month to finalize the plans. I gave myself a deadline and stuck to it. When you stay in a marriage like that, you enable every negative behavior your husband possesses. You become the martyr.”

It wasn’t until she made up her mind that her plans started taking shape. She stopped wondering how to leave her husband without money, and started actually making plans to end her marriage.

One final tip for women who need help leaving their husbands when they have no money…

Ask yourself, “Am I better off with or without him?” I suspect you know deep down that you’d be better off without your husband, but you can’t leave him because you feel stuck and helpless. It’s a lonely place to be, and I wish you weren’t experiencing this season of your life.

May you find strength and courage, faith and boldness! Be filled with hope. Know that if you can hold on to your faith, you can do anything. Take time to renew your relationship with God, for He is the source of abundance, power and freedom. Find strength in my She Blossoms newsletter, and in-person support groups. Surround yourself with women who want to help you grow and move forward in your life.

What do you think about my tips on leaving your husband when you have no money? I welcome your comments below, and will keep you in my prayers.


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277 thoughts on “How to Leave Your Husband When You Have No Money”

  1. I am dealing with a controlling sister who law who is my husband s power of attorney and payee I need help for me and my 26 year old special needs daughter to get my own place and move out.

    My husband is very scared of her and believes everything she says is right we were to be moving next month into a 3 bedroom house I messed up making him head of household and lost my Section 8 well due to her complaining about the steps neighborhood etc and him not speaking up to her we wont be moving.

    I did go and apply to be his payee she comes along and they give it back to her he would not do what was necessary for me to get my Section 8 voucher back saying he wanted to stay head of household and he has no money which is a lie that sister of his I am tired 5 years is long enough.

    The stress is taking a toll on me seems I am now always mad at him about something I have put in one application on their waiting list I am going to fill out 2 more need the depoist fees I sometimes wonder if my daughter does not feel stress she suffers with suendo seizures Adhd born with Trismony 21 at birth she very quite but I do hope its not causing her seizures Reply ASAP

  2. Living alone is waaaayyy too expensive. Your will have a whole new set of struggles, no time to date anyone else, and rents today are ridiculously impossible to scrape up pocket money and expect to live for more than a month. I find this a very impracticle article. Just trading one type of unhappiness for another. It may work if you already have a great paying job. If not you will always be living with family, roommates etc. Definitely leave if he is physically violent though.

  3. Hello, I think this is really good advice if you are a young mother. My children are all grown and getting on with their lives. My husband and I have been together for a lot of years. My problem is he loves to spend money like it grows on trees. Mind you, he is on work mans comp and I am on disability. We don’t get that much together to live on. I’m afraid that he will blow off the rent money and then leave me by myself to deal with it. I have no where to go and a small house full of stuff. He also likes to go off and leave me for a few nights by myself and we live in the city. I had to sell my car because I didn’t have the money to fix it. Now I take the city bus everywhere. I’m on the list for government housing but haven’t heard anything for over a year. I really could use some advice for my situation. Thank you in advance.

  4. You might be undergoing menopause or you might be the root cause of his “abusiveness” and not realize it or be in delusion in the area of accountability. I suggest, for the sake of your children and the rest of us that will have to deal with your children as either ‘messed up people’ in society, or good strong people; seek our proper faith based counseling. Be sure that there is no bias to things like gender or politics in the counselor. Just a desire to set you on the right course and see what it is you are doing that is triggering your own strife.

  5. Good morning ,
    I pray that you make the right decision soon….time is something we cannot get back….but at least you love him….I never been in love with my husband nor have I ever loved him.
    I would say that makes things worse. He starting to Drink more and passing out each and every Saturday burning up food….steaks..ribs etc…spending over $175 on meat that he burns up every weekend because he starts to drink before he even starts cooking on the grill so he ends up falling asleep while the food is on the grill and I try to tell him to chill on the drinking but he hide the alcohol so I wouldn’t be able to pour it out….lol
    But as soon as I tell him my son needs shoes etc…he says OH THATS NOT IN HIS BUDGET….hummmm.but wait….what is In the budget…other than 2 bills….alcohol and you burning up meat…🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈Lord please free us…lol
    Oh my I could go on and on….but I hope you get some rest at some point with 4 kids girl that’s a lot….I only have one and about to pull my hair out…..hang in there as much as possible…I’m here if you need me…

  6. That sounds familiar. Sorry you’re going through all that and super sorry he messed up your finances.
    It can be a lot on the mind and nerves, can’t it? And it probably doesn’t even look that bad to anyone on the outside. A lot of what you said I am familiar with. Does your guy make any efforts at all to improve? Mine does, which makes it more complicated.

    I have evolved into what most would consider a shut in. I might leave the house twice a month; live in the country, no friends. My family is even cut off from me. I hate who I’ve become.
    My husband constantly checks up on me, my phone, my internet history, the miles on the vehicle – even though I have never once given him a reason to mistrust me. He’s broken my heart and traded me for virtual sluts until I lost all confidence(and I was frikken HOT hahaha)
    I don’t even have a car. He always has ours and when he is home I am not to leave or it is an offense against him(I can go, but have to deal with time limits and his mood/guilt trips).
    Recently, i made a 40 minute trip to take the kids to a library 15 minutes away, and went grocery shopping. When he saw the kids again he grilled them. Wanted to know exactly how long I was gone at the store, when did I drop them off(let’s see. . . 40 minute trip, 15 there, 15 back, you do the math). That REALLY made me mad. Don’t drag the kids into this mess.
    I can’t leave them alone with him because they are scared of him because of things He’s done in the past(they have good reason).
    My eldest daughter has begun studying psychology and she told me it’s emotional/mental abuse. From the outside it probably looks like I run the show because I found out he’s always complained about me and tells everyone I boss him around, and if he doesn’t want to do something he blames me, and he never wants to do anything.
    He’s super paranoid and if we both had a car, you can bet he’d be spying on me, just like yours spied on you. I love him but his insecurities are about to break me. And I’m sick of being blamed for everything(like the fact that he works to provide even though when we first married he wanted me to quit working and I did because he liked providing for me and I wanted to devote my time to the kids(4). I was also pressured into giving up my friends, even girl friends because he thought they wanted to sleep with me and I wanted to prove I was loyal. My mistake. It’s been 17 years.
    We live in poverty.
    But he does provide for us so I get all the guilt when I think this way, but I have no education and my leash is so short that I . . . . . .
    I need to stop making excuses.

    Sorry, I just saw a lot of similarities in your story and wanted to share a bit. And let you know I am in there with you and I’ll keep you in my thoughts and meditate some good will your way.
    I want to say that he’s a good guy in a lot of ways and maybe it’s just the combination of us together that’s so toxic, but I really feel he has mental issues.
    Speaking of mental issues I’m probably fixing to sound a bit off, but anyone who reads this and is desperate needs to look into freezer spells. I tried one out of desperation when he wouldn’t stop orbiting me like I was some kind of sun. It worked shockingly well. Not sure if I’m a natural or what haha. You can read about it online, and there are videos on YouTube. One from “white Raven” is good(I know it sounds nuts, but look into it. The entire world is energy and frequency).
    If you choose to do one make sure your CERTAIN of what you want because it can get wild(example, I did one for my husband so that his brother would stop riding his case and it worked but my husband ended up losing that job and I THINK it may have had something to do with it since he’s been working with his dad and brother for over 20 years).
    Then make sure to do it at a time when you’re REALLY fed up and all that energy will go into the spell. Those are the only two I’ve tried so far and they’ve both worked for months now. They worked so well that I am kinda scared to do another one because I don’t him to suffer for having emotional issues, and it seems somewhat risky. I only cast before because I was absolutely desperate.
    Still trying to work this out. I am not even sure if I want to go but I feel like I have had my wings clipped and I may be better off – I kind of think we would BOTH be better off. We’ve never been on the same page. I really do love him and want him to be happy but I think I’m starting to finally come to terms with the fact that it might be sink or swim. My health has suffered tremendously.
    I’m here(secretively and sporadically) if you need anything or want to vent some more. Thanks for reading and blessings to you.

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