How do you leave an unhappy marriage or bad relationship when you have no money? These tips may not miraculously help you get money to leave your husband, but they’ll show you that you’re not alone. You’ll find support and companionship here, and feel the strength and courage of other women.
I was inspired to write this article by a reader who feels trapped and unhappy in her marriage…
“I want to leave my husband but I have no money,” says Christine on 9 Ways to Know if Your Husband is Lying About Cheating “I have two kids, I’m pregnant with my third, and I just don’t know where to go. I have no family who can help, they live in a different state. I have nowhere to go. I lost my job, and I am trying to finish school. I don’t have money to leave. I don’t know what to do. I am so hurt, scared, sad, angry and just alone now. I have three beautiful kids with him and I hate to think how much this will hurt them. I can’t believe I was a fool and let him do this to me time after time. Can you tell me how to leave your husband when you have no money to support yourself?”
I wish I had the perfect solution and the right things to say to you. You may feel lonely, lost, and trapped in your marriage – and you have no idea how to leave your husband when you have no money. I wish you didn’t have to go through this, and I hope you find some comfort and hope here!
Read through my tips below, and spend some time in the readers’ comments at the end of this article. Some women are struggling to learn how to live with a husband they wish they never married, while others are making plans to escape a terrible marriage. Some women are in relationship counseling with their husbands, while others are coping with a shocking marriage breakup.
As you can see from their comments below, everyone is at a different stage of marriage. But one thing is the same for everyone: the struggle to leave your husband when you have no money.
One of the first things to do is to find small ways to take control of your life that don’t cost money.
Maybe this means finding ways to earn a little bit of spending money, even by babysitting, cleaning houses, or becoming a virtual assistant. You need to inventory your skills and abilities, and find ways to optimize them. You’ll never have enough money to leave your husband unless you start taking action. You’ll feel scared and anxious – we all do when we’re making big life moves – but now is the time for you to learn as much as you can about money and your financial future.
One of the most important things to deal with right away is how you feel. If you feel powerless and helpless, you won’t have energy or confidence to work towards getting money to leave your husband. Start doing things that help you feel powerful, strong, and confident.
Leaving Your Husband When You Have No Money
These tips are all about taking action. If you really want to change your life and leave a guy who doesn’t love or honor you, you need to start moving forward. You can’t get financial support unless you start reaching out for it. Once you start reaching out with a positive mindset, you’ll be shocked at how easily money will come to you.
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Here’s what one reader told me she’s doing to earn money to leave her marriage:
- Collecting cans and turning them in for cash
- Asking my neighbors if they have any odd paying jobs I can do, such as washing windows, weeding gardens, etc.
- Taking online surveys to make a few extra bucks a day (about $3, not a huge amount but it helps build my stash)
- Every few times I go to the grocery store or Walmart etc, I buy a $5 gift card. Even if can only do $.50 etc do it!
- Selling household items on ebay. May only profit $.75 but again, all small steps leads to bigger rewards. kids your kids outgrown clothes etc. You would be amazed at what sells!
- Using coupons to get free and store the TP, toothpaste etc in a box or at a friends. Again, little things add up. I have a box of Shampoo, toothpaste, soap, TP, etc ready to go. This will help me when I am starting out and not having to buy and spend what little money I have
Every journey starts with a few small steps – and sometimes the best step is visualizing what you’ll say when you finally do have money to leave your husband. Start dreaming about your life, planning your future, and thinking about all the possibilities.
1. Remember that help is out there – but you have to ask for it
Many financially dependent wives say they have no help, nobody to support them, nobody to go stay with. They may feel that way, but it’s not the truth. How do I know? Because if my neighbor came over and said she has no money to leave her husband and asked me for help, I’d do something. I may not give her money, but I’d help her and her kids in some way.
If you have nowhere to go, read What to Expect at a Women’s Shelter or Safe House.
I also know that wives who feel alone aren’t really alone because my mom was a single parent. She was also schizophrenic, and we moved to new city every six months or so. She had no friends, no money, and a severe mental illness…and yet she managed to find money help! How did she find it? She went to Social Services, to churches, and to my grandma for help. Don’t think of yourself as “trapped” – though I know that if you’re looking for ways to get money to leave your husband, that’s exactly how you feel. Focus on the fact that you WILL get money to leave your husband. It’s just a matter of time and planning. And taking action.
2. Learn how to think strategically, not emotionally
In A Woman’s Guide To Financial Security After Divorce: The Basics: Creating A Solid Foundation (Think Financially, Not Emotionally®), Jeffrey Landers describes the critical first steps you need to take after your divorce to establish long-term financial stability. It’s extremely important for you to learn how to support your goals and vision with a sustainable spending plan that ensures your long-term financial security.
When you’re searching for tips on how to leave your husband when you have no money, you need to know the pros and cons of keeping your marital home and how to determine if selling makes better financial sense. You can’t rely on your emotions when you’re planning your future; you need to learn about reverse mortgages and why this unique tool might be a wise choice for you.
Yes, you need money right now. But you also need to start thinking about smart ways to use your retirement and investment accounts – and other sources of income – to add to your cash-flow and extend your financial longevity. You have to learn which assets are most favorable and what strategies are best for managing (and ultimately paying off) liabilities. This is part of taking action, and it will help you feel more in control of your life.
3. Create a plan to leave your marriage – it’ll make asking for financial help easier
If you have a plan, you’ll feel more confident reaching out for financial support from your family members. How much money does it cost to feed and care for your kids? Prepare to make sacrifices, and remember that they can have a happy, healthy childhood without iPhones, laptops, or video games.
It’s hard to think about leaving your husband when you have no money, but maybe it’s time to ask the difficult questions. Can you stay with family or friends while you save money for your own place? How will you support yourself?
If you have a specific plan to leave, you may find it easier to ask for financial help. If you’re asking family members to help support you with money, learn about financial contracts and loans between family members. Show your family that you’re humbled and scared, but you’re serious about leaving your husband and starting over.
4. Learn what types of financial support you’re eligible for
Talk to Social Services about financial resources for single parents. Start by calling the office closest to you. If they can’t offer money or other help, ask them for three other numbers to call. Call your church, and talk to your pastor. Don’t just ask for financial and spiritual support; ask for practical resources that can help you leave. Ask to be connected with other women who were financially dependent, who rebuilt their lives.
Every three months, canvassers from the Single Parents Food Bank come to our door, asking for donations. My husband gives money every single time because he knows single parents need money help because raising kids is expensive. But it’s not impossible, my friend.
5. Open your own savings or checking account
Many financially dependent women don’t have their own checking or savings accounts. No problem! Even if you only have $10 to your name, you need to get to the bank and start your journey to financial dependence…and perhaps even wealth! And yes, single income families often live close to the poverty line. I grew up poorer than dirt – we even slept outside a few times. But I grew up to be a strong, vibrant, smart, educated, motivated, happy, Christian woman. I learned resilience and strength from my single parent childhood – and I respect my mom, who had no money and nowhere to go, but she left her husband.
Do you have a checking or savings account? Go to your nearest bank – or do some online research about financial institutions – and find out what you need to open your own account.
Leaving your husband when you have no money won’t be easy, but it may be worth the struggle.
6. Stay focused on your future
It’s easy to get overwhelmed, anxious, scared, and depressed about the journey you’re about to go on. Don’t let negativity or fear stop you from leaving your husband! Stay focused on what you will achieve in your life, and how much better it will be for your kids and yourself. Write down your goals for a year from now: how much money do you want to be making? What friends do you want to spend time with? How do you want to spend your days? Remember that it takes time to save enough money to leave your husband.
Start a journal, and write down all your hopes, dreams, and plans. Don’t let your current situation stop you from dreaming. Your thoughts really do determine your future – and it is now time to starting Blossoming into the woman you were created to be.
7. Get strength from women who felt financially trapped, but left their husbands
“I was in that situation for 23 years,” says Sheila in response to How to Know if Divorce is the Best Option. “I finally opened up my own checking account, started saving a bit at a time, and made plans. When I finally made up my mind to leave, it took less than a month to finalize the plans. I gave myself a deadline and stuck to it. When you stay in a marriage like that, you enable every negative behavior your husband possesses. You become the martyr.”
It wasn’t until she made up her mind that her plans started taking shape. She stopped wondering how to leave her husband without money, and started actually making plans to end her marriage.
One final tip for women who need help leaving their husbands when they have no money…
Ask yourself, “Am I better off with or without him?” I suspect you know deep down that you’d be better off without your husband, but you can’t leave him because you feel stuck and helpless. It’s a lonely place to be, and I wish you weren’t experiencing this season of your life.
May you find strength and courage, faith and boldness! Be filled with hope. Know that if you can hold on to your faith, you can do anything. Take time to renew your relationship with God, for He is the source of abundance, power and freedom. Find strength in my She Blossoms newsletter, and in-person support groups. Surround yourself with women who want to help you grow and move forward in your life.
What do you think about my tips on leaving your husband when you have no money? I welcome your comments below, and will keep you in my prayers.
Need marriage help? Get free relationship advice from Marriage Coach Mort Fertel.
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