If you’re wondering if your boyfriend is cheating on you, you’ve probably picked up on the warning signs of an affair. These signs of cheating may help you figure out the truth.
“You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge,” says Dr Phil McGraw. The sooner you figure out if your boyfriend is cheating on you, the sooner you can rebuild your relationship – or get out of it.
If these signs of an affair don’t help, read Is My Boyfriend Cheating on Me? How to Be a Private Investigator. Sometimes it’s confusing and difficult to know if your boyfriend is cheating – especially if he doesn’t admit it. The more evidence you gather, the more you’ll understand about how affairs happen, why, and how to recover.
It may help you not just recognize signs of an affair, but accept that your boyfriend is cheating…and help you move on with your life.
7 Signs of an Affair
1. Your own instincts: if you think your boyfriend is cheating, then he probably is. Generally speaking – in most cases – if a girlfriend suspects her boyfriend is having an affair, then he probably is cheating on her. Why? Because she’s picking up on the cues and clues that reveal his behaviors and actions. She’s tuned in to who he is and what he’s saying without words, which can reveal what he’s doing when she’s not around.
2. Examine the reasons you think your boyfriend is unfaithful. Is he working or staying out late, getting private phone calls, or talking about a certain person all the time? It’s important to look at those suspicions and determine if they’re valid. It’s also important to separate your own personal issues from your boyfriend’s actions and habits. For instance, if you think your boyfriend is cheating because your last relationship ended because of infidelity, then you be hyper sensitive to possible signs of an affair. Sometimes we’re suspicious of our boyfriends because of our own past experiences and issues.
3. Think about your relationship with your boyfriend — and be honest. Are you physically and emotionally intimate? Do you communicate with your boyfriend? Is he indifferent to family events or activities, such as anniversaries, birthdays, or holidays? Is he more secretive? Those signs may indicate that your boyfriend is lying about cheating on you. I know how hard it is to admit the truth, but you need to be honest with yourself before you can decide if you want to put the effort into your relationship.
4. Take a look at your boyfriend’s paper trail. Signs of an affair are often found in bank statements, credit card statements, email messages, text messages, Facebook accounts, or even car mileage. It may feel like you’re spying on him, but sometimes the only way to find out if your boyfriend is cheating is to dig into his life.
5. Ask your boyfriend if he’s being unfaithful. Men (and women) who cheat aren’t exactly jumping up and down to admit it! You may see signs of an affair long before he admits it He may deny it and you may be afraid to bring it up because of the effect it’ll have on your marriage, but the sooner you talk about it, the better. Describe why you think he’s cheating on you, and ask him outright if he’s cheating. Ask him to be honest with you.
Does your boyfriend lie to you about cheating? Read How to Leave a Man You Love – But Can’t Live With.
6. Be aware of changes in behavior, tone of voice, and habits. Warning signs of an affair can include nonverbal body language, verbal statements, and emotional reactions to questions. Is your boyfriend suddenly more attentive than usual, concerned about his appearance, wearing a different type of underwear, trying a different cologne, or ultra-clean when he gets home (from a recent shower)? A sudden change of behavior – such as leaving work early or late – could be a sign that your boyfriend is cheating on you.
7. Hire a private investigator. On one of my articles on “Quips and Tips for Achieving Your Goals” – I think it was the article about emotional affairs – a private investigator commented that he’s often hired by wives who think their husbands are cheating. If you can afford it, consider hiring someone to follow your boyfriend. If he can’t stop lying to you and covering up his affair, then you need to get serious about discovering the truth!
If you know your boyfriend has gone beyond an affair to an actual commitment, read How to Cope When the Man You Love is Marrying Another Woman.
What do you think – is your boyfriend cheating on you? Do you recognize these signs of an affair? I welcome your thoughts below, but I can’t offer advice.