Here are a few signs you’re ready to start dating again. While there is no “rule” on when it’s too soon to date after a breakup, there are signs you aren’t ready.
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Here’s what a reader says on my article about avoiding rebound love: “My boyfriend and I broke up three months ago. I’m 36 years old, and ready to get married and have a family. I want to start dating again, but my sister says it’s too soon. I miss the closeness and companionship of an intimate relationship and want to fall in love. What do you think, is it too soon to start dating again?”
Everyone is unique, which means it may take me a year to heal from a breakup. Maybe it’ll take you a few weeks, or a decade. It depends on so many things: how long you were in the relationship, the reasons you broke up, how emotionally invested you were, and who made the decision to break up.
Even though we’re all different, we’re also human – which means we have many things in common! I believe the following signs it’s too soon to date again are the same for everyone.
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating Again?
If you think you’re ready to date again, read 5 Signs You Are Ready for a Relationship.
- You have unresolved issues from other breakups or relationships
- Your friends and family are pushing you to forget about your ex
- You’re comparing yourself to your married friends
- You’re avoiding feelings of loss, grief, or past hurts
- You haven’t healed from your last breakup
- You hear your biological clock ticking
- You don’t enjoy your own company
- You want to make your ex jealous
- You want to replace your ex
- You’re depressed
- You’re lonely
- You hurt
Do you feel like you’re ready to start dating again? Read How to Find a Boyfriend.
Before you start dating again, check your motives
Are you dating because you want to get married and have kids, or because you want to get to know a certain person better? Do you want to date because you hate being alone, or because you feel connected to someone and want to spend time together? I realize there’s never ONE reason to date, but if your main motive is to get married…then perhaps you’re dating out of desperation.
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We all want love and connection. We thrive when we’re in relationship with one another, when we love and feel loved in return. But we can’t focus our lives on getting married and having kids. We can’t chase love in order to avoid pain.
Allow yourself to grieve your last breakup
Here’s a love quote that I like: “Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.” – H. L. Mencken.
You may think you’ve healed from the breakup, but you may be ignoring your grief and loss. If you tend to jump into things too quickly, it may be too soon to look for love again.
For more signs it’s too soon to start dating again, read How to Know If You’re Ready for a New Relationship.
I welcome your thoughts on these signs you’re ready to start dating again, but I can’t offer relationship advice. Still, free free to share your experience – you might find clarity and insight as you write!
May you be blessed with a healthy dating relationship.