When to Say “I’m Still in Love With You” to Your Ex

These signs you should tell your ex-boyfriend or ex-husband you’re still in love with him will give you courage. I also included four signs you shouldn’t say “I’m still in love with you” to your ex, to help you decide what to do!

On When You Feel Scared You’ll Never Be Loved, a reader asked if it would be right to ask his ex-girlfriend to meet for a conversation about their breakup and talk about why she left him (she left him for obscure reasons, and wasn’t clear about why she broke up with him). “Will meeting my ex make me fall deeper in love with her, or clear the air so I can live happily with my current girlfriend? The worst case scenario would be seeing my ex, her rejecting me again, me falling into a deeper depression and my current girlfriend leaving me over it.”

Actually, I think the worst case scenario is staying in a relationship with someone you don’t love. Earlier in his comment, he said he aches with pain and longs for his ex-girlfriend. That’s why he needs to see his ex, so he can get over her and move forward in his life.

But I don’t think talking to his ex about the breakup will make him fall in love with his current girlfriend. Even if he finds closure and healing by meeting with his ex-girlfriend, he won’t magically find himself loving someone he doesn’t already love.

4 Signs You Shouldn’t Say “I’m Still in Love With You” to Your Ex

If you know deep down that telling your ex you’re still in love with her or him isn’t a good idea, read How to Forget About Your Ex.

Here are a few reasons not to tell your ex that you’re sill bewitched and bewildered…

1. You’re married or living common-law with a new partner

What pain, confusion, and insecurity will you cause your current partner? Telling your ex that you’re still in love with him or her won’t move you towards a happy, committed relationship with the person you’re living with. It won’t bring peace or joy to your home or your kids, and it certainly won’t help your ex move on with his or her life.

2. You know your ex is involved in a new relationship

What would be the purpose of saying “I’m still in love with you” to an ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend who is married or committed to a new partner? You’d only be causing pain and heartache. You might even embarrass yourself (though love is always embarrassing because we’re so vulnerable when we declare our love!). If your goal is to break up your ex’s current relationship, then you need to rethink your values. Trying to break up a couple isn’t kind, loving, or helpful. It’s mean.

3. You know your ex doesn’t love you for who you are

Here’s a cute little story from a guy whose girlfriend broke up with him: Today, I sent everyone a text on my phone book saying, “Happy Star Wars Day!!! May the Fourth be with you!!” I forgot to uncheck my ex-girlfriend’s number. She texted back, “one of the many reasons I broke up with you.”

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Don’t change your personality, goals, lifestyle, habits, or hobbies because of your ex! God created you exactly the way you are for a reason. You are loved, unique, and amazing in all the right ways – even if you love Star Wars more than chocolate bars. It’s a mistake to tell your ex that you’re still in love if you know that you have to change who you are to be with him or her.

4. Your ex doesn’t want any contact with you

You may have broken up on good terms, but your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend may want to let the past go. Maybe she wants to move forward in her life without thinking about the past. Maybe he doesn’t want the complication of knowing that your love is still alive. If you know that your ex doesn’t want to communicate or connect with you, then saying “I’m still in love with you” is a big mistake. Let the past go. Focus on your future.

3 Signs You Should Tell Your Ex You’re Still in Love

There are no black or white, right or wrong answers to this dilemma! Nobody can tell you that it’s a bad or good idea to tell you’re ex you’re still in love with her. But, it’s important to think about what you’re doing and why you’re doing it before rushing in blindly.

If you’re already convinced you want to profess your love for your ex, read How to Say You’re Sorry to Someone You Love.

1. You ended the relationship for the wrong reasons

If you broke up with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend for reasons that you can clearly see are wrong, then maybe it’s a good idea to say you’re still in love with your ex. Maybe you overreacted to something he did, or made an impulsive decision that you now regret. If you know you were wrong and you hurt your ex, saying “I’m still in love with you” may be a good choice.

2. Something significant has changed in your life

Maybe you were an alcoholic, drug addict, or serial adulterer when your relationship ended. Are you different now? Maybe you see life through a new lens, or you had a spiritual awakening or insight that has changed your life. These could be good reasons to tell your ex you’re still in love with him or her.

3. You have a strong gut feeling it’s the right thing to say

Signs You Should Say “I’m Still in Love With You” to Your ExDo you have a strong feeling or gut instinct that you should tell your ex you’re still in love with him? This is the best reason to tell your ex you still love them…because God is nudging you to. Even if you’re not a believer in Jesus Christ, God is still working in your life. He is guiding you and watching over you – He knows everything about you and He loves you anyway! Our God is a God of love, reconciliation, and reuniting. He is for you, not against you, and He wants you to have more love in your heart and life than you think possible.

Is God leading you to contact your ex and make amends? That’s the best reason of all to say “I’m still in love with you” to your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend.

Despite all these reasons saying I’m still in love with you may feel right, it may not be a good idea to tell your ex you still love him or her. You broke up for a reason, and it’s time to move forward with your life. Read How to Get Over Your Ex Boyfriend and Heal Your Spirit for help.

“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” – Carl Bard.

I welcome your thoughts on whether it’s a good idea to say I’m still in love with you to your ex. I can’t offer relationship advice or counseling, but it may help you to share your experience. May you be blessed with power and faith, and may you know beyond a shadow of a doubt whether or not you should tell your ex you’re still in love. Walk humbly and confidently with God, and you’ll live without regret!

If you know deep in your heart that it’s too late to tell your ex you love him or her, read How to Let Go of Someone You Love. It’s time to put the pain of the past behind you, and start moving forward in your life.


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