If you get jealous sometimes (or a lot), you’re not alone. Hundreds of people search for tips on how to stop being jealous every day. These tips will help you slay the green-eyed monster and learn how to love your life, relationship, body, and job just as it is.
You won’t overcome jealousy simply by reading this blog post. It takes time and energy to build your feelings of self-worth, which is why I recommend Power Thoughts Devotional: 365 Daily Inspirations for Winning the Battle of the Mind by Joyce Meyer. It’s a powerful daily devotional – only 10 or 15 minutes a day – that will help you build a healthy, strong foundation of security and peace. That’s the only way to stop being jealous: take time to figure out who you are, how amazing you are, and what your life purpose is.
What makes you jealous? Maybe you’re like me, and you feel intimidated and jealous of women who are smart, successful, and strong. Or maybe you’re like I was 10 years ago when I first got married — jealous of your partner’s ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend. You may find How to Cope With Jealousy When Your Boyfriend Sees His Ex helpful if you need to know how to not be jealous of your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend.
How to Stop Being Jealous
You’re here because there’s something about jealousy that you need to learn. I hope my tips on how to stop being jealous help you overcome your insecurities.
Because that’s what jealousy is: insecurity. And fear of not being good enough.
Know what jealousy is and how your jealous feelings show up
I didn’t realize until this morning that jealousy makes me feel insecure and anxious. To me, jealousy is insecurity and fear that I’m not pretty, smart, or good enough to be loved. I met a woman last night who is amazing, and I am so jealous of her that I could spit! I’ll call her Jewel. She didn’t do anything in particular to make me feel jealous – and that makes me even more jealous of her! She is so nice, helpful, friendly, and supportive. I wish she was a mean girl because then I wouldn’t have so many feelings of jealousy, and I wouldn’t have to figure out how to stop being jealous.
How do you experience jealousy? There are many ways jealous feelings show up, and it’s different for different people. Do you withdraw into an addiction like me, or do you become a mean girl?
If your jealousy is affecting your friendships, read 5 Signs You’re a Toxic Friend. Figure out how not to be jealous so you can enjoy your life and your friendships. Overcoming jealousy is about knowing yourself, and reflecting on where your feelings are coming from.
Need marriage help? Get FREE relationship advice from Marriage Coach Mort Fertel.
Learn how social comparisons make you unhappy
In The Myths of Happiness: What Should Make You Happy, but Doesn’t, What Shouldn’t Make You Happy, but Does, Sonja Lyubomirsky says that the habit of social comparison starts early in life. “In childhood, we were often compared with the good manners of our siblings, the talents of our classmates, and even with the A’s and trophies that our parents earned as children,” she writes. “Consequently, we have been conditioned to want to learn how we stand relative to others, and preferably learn that we are better off.” (italics mine).
We make social comparisons ALL the time. And that makes us feel inferior, less valuable, not good enough, and jealous ALL the time. So how do you stop being jealous? Learn more about the psychology of social comparisons. It’s fascinating.
Set your own standards of personal self-worth
If you want to know how not to be jealous, you need to figure out what makes you a valuable, lovable, amazing person. And you need to remember that another woman’s beauty, success, intellect, and achievements do not detract from your own attributes. I’m the same Laurie I was before I met Jewel, even though I felt like less of everything. Her amazing attributes don’t change who I am, do they? Unless, of course, I let my insecurities and fears destroy my sense of peace and joy. You’re who you are, regardless of who the other woman is.
If you can’t be yourself in your relationship, read How to Love a Man Without Losing Yourself.
Get spiritually healthy
That last tip on how to stop being jealous – setting your standards of personal self-worth and remembering that your attributes don’t change no matter how successful others are – is a psychological strategy.
Better is a spiritual way of life. If you get your feelings of self-worth, lovability, hope, peace, faith, joy, security, and confidence from God, then you’ll never feel unloved or unwanted or not good enough. If you haven’t met Jesus, then you don’t know how amazing and loved you are.
Jealousy can rear its ugly head at work – especially if you’re an artist or creative type. Your income depends on being imaginative and clever, right? If other artists or entrepreneurs are more creative or smart, then you’ll be wondering how not to be jealous so you can keep working. If you’re a writerly type like me, read 7 Tips for Writers Jealous of Other Writers.
Your thoughts on how to stop being jealous are welcome in the comments section below. I can’t offer advice or counseling, but it may help you to share your experience.
May your feelings of self-worth, hope, peace, joy, courage, and strength come from a source that never changes, ages, or even blinks. May you connect with God and realize how unique and amazing you are, regardless of who you meet or what they have.
Your problem isn’t the problem. Your reaction is the problem.