You’ve tried everything to make your husband fall in love with you again, but nothing worked. Here’s something surprising you probably haven’t thought of…
These tips are inspired by a reader’s comment on 10 Signs of a Bad Relationship:
“I will be married to my husband two years in August, and we have a baby girl. He puts me down on a regular basis, makes me feel unworthy of his presence especially when other people are around. I try every day extremely hard just to get his attention and to make him happy any way I can. I’m truly broken. I now see, no matter how much you love someone you can’t make that person love you back. My heart just bleeds for my child. I don’t want to tear her family apart but I don’t feel like I deserve a life of constant hurt! I’m lost and confused. I love him with all of my heart and it’s just not enough.”
One of the most important and TRUE things she said is, “no matter how much you love your husband, you can’t make him love you back.”
If you can’t make your husband love you, why am I writing this article? Because I want to encourage you to learn how to love yourself, put yourself first, take care of your needs, and focus on your future. I want you to be happy, healthy, and whole.
These aren’t tips on how to make your husband love you. These are tips on how to love yourself.
Learn how to give yourself the love your husband is withholding
One way to make yourself more attractive to your husband or anyone in your presence is to be happy and healthy. The better you feel about yourself – the more you love and cherish yourself – the more love you will receive from others in your life.
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How do you give yourself the love you deserve? By putting yourself first, by taking care of your own needs before you drive yourself crazy trying to fill everyone else’s needs. By doing things that make you happy (we social workers call it “self care”!). By pampering yourself, by indulging yourself, by giving your body the exercise, food, and love you deserve.
A side effect of becoming a happy, healthy woman is that your husband may fall in love with you all over again! But by then, maybe you’ll be ready to leave him because you know you deserve better.
Here are a few tips on self-identity and love: How to Be Yourself in Your Relationship.
A happy mother raises happy children
If your husband doesn’t love you – if he criticizes, insults, and controls you – then you are NOT tearing your family apart by leaving him! He has torn your family apart by treating you like garbage. You do not deserve a life of constant hurt. Do you think you’ll raise a happy, healthy daughter when you’re being belittled, criticized, and treated so poorly by her father?
It’s sad and difficult to break up a marriage, but it’s a tragedy to sacrifice your emotional health, physical well-being, and future to a relationship that will destroy you.
I urge you to stop thinking about how to make your husband love you, and start focusing on how to give yourself the life you deserve.
“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell.