Creating a vision board for “your life” isn’t specific enough. Here, we focus on how to make a vision board for your relationship to help you get a clear idea of who and what you want in a partner.
“Your vision board itself doesn’t impact reality; what changes your life is the process of creating the images,” says writes Martha Beck, author of Finding Your Way in a Wild New World: Reclaim Your True Nature to Create the Life You Want. “The combinations of objects and events will stick in your subconscious mind and steer your choices toward making the vision real.”
The reason we want to learn how to make a vision board for our relationships is because we are constantly making decisions that affect how we relate to others. If we can focus our minds and hearts on what we want to create in our relationships, we’re more likely to make decisions that take us where we want to go. Martha Beck is one of my favorite authors; these tips for creating vision boards are inspired by a magazine article she wrote six or so years ago…
How to Make a Vision Board for Your Relationship
“When you start assembling pictures that appeal to your deepest self, you unleash one of the most powerful forces on our planet: human imagination,” writes Martha in “The Vision Thing” (Oprah Magazine, June 2010). “Virtually everything humans use, do, or make up exists because something thought it up.”
Here, she describes six steps to creating a vision board to bring your passions, hopes, dreams, and future plans to life. Martha wasn’t teaching readers how to make a vision board for relationships – I chose to spin it this way because I and my readers are focused on love.
The traditional steps to creating a vision board are:
- Get a large poster board or bulletin board
- Go through old magazines, and cut out photos that resonate with you
- Tape or glue the images that resonate with you, that make you feel good and happy
- Hang your vision board somewhere you can see it
Those are good foundational steps to creating a vision board, but I want take them a bit further….
1. Learn why vision boards are powerful
When you make a vision board for your relationship, you are telling yourself and the world what you want in a partner. You don’t have to show your vision board to anyone; simply creating and revisiting it daily will help you get clear on what you want in your life.
Need marriage help? Get FREE relationship advice from Marriage Coach Mort Fertel.
A vision board sets the stage for possibility. And, making your dreams come true – finding your destiny – isn’t about getting exactly what you want! It’s about getting what you need. A vision board can be a wonderful way to help you let go of someone you love and open your heart to new possibilities.
2. Think of your vision board as a Treasure Map
A vision board is also called a Treasure Map, a Visual Explorer, or a Creativity Collage. Typically, it’s a poster board on which you paste or collage images that you’ve torn out from various magazines. Some people say the idea is that when you surround yourself with images of who you want to become, what you want to have, where you want to live, or where you want to vacation, your life changes to match those images and those desires.
It’s not that simple, though! It’s not magic: it’s you getting clear on what you want in your relationship. When you make a vision board for your relationship, you are filling your life and imagination with who you want to be with, what type of relationship you want to have, where you want to live, and the type of partner you want to be with.
A vision board can also help you change how you relate to your current, perhaps by reducing stress in your relationship.
3. Learn how to make a vision board that represents who you are
You’re creating a vision board for the relationship you want. So, don’t look through the most popular magazines for images that represent everyone’s idea of success (eg, beautiful vacations, no credit card debt, a happy family).
Instead, find unusual pictures of unfamiliar places, people, poetry. Find images that resonate with who you are – without worrying about other people’s expectations. Find pictures that represent your most primal, wild, unique, innate self. Most “how to make a vision board” articles tell you to look in magazines for pictures and ideas that represent who you are. Martha says no! Instead, look in unusual places for your inspiration.
4. Cut and paste photos that spark your inner “a ha”
Martha encourages us to find pictures that invoke the following responses: joy, wonder, excitement, curiosity, and happiness. Put photos that make you do a double take or gasp with excitement – and avoid our culture’s clichés (which include material possessions, perfect families, exotic vacations, wealth, etc).
Take this traditional step on how to make a vision board (looking in popular magazines), and get even more specific. You’re creating a vision for your relationship, and you won’t find that in a magazine.
5. Relax your grip
“Stop thinking about what you want to create in your life,” says Martha. “The biggest mistake aspiring ‘reality creators’ make…is continuing to push something they’ve already set in motion.”
Hmmm….what do you think she means by this? Perhaps she means that instead of focusing with narrow minded tunnel vision on creating the perfect relationship, let go of what you want. For instance, maybe you’re too focused on finding a man to love…maybe you’re desperate. Instead, find joy when you’re making your vision board – and then let it hum quietly in the background while your relax and allow yourself to Blossom.
6. Be still, and still moving
Finally, Martha Beck says, learning how to make a vision board for your relationship isn’t a substitute for dating or working on your communication skills! You need to be active about getting what your want out of life – you need to keep moving forward, in the direction of your dreams.
By walking through open doors, listening to your hunches, taking advantage of “coincidences”, and doing what comes naturally. And, by knowing what to let go of. For instance, I’m constantly tweaking the layout and purpose of my Blossom blogs, instead of relating to my readers or meeting new bloggers who have common interests. This is the “problem” I’ve had for years…and I’m beginning to think it’s not the problem. It’s who I am. It’s how I keep moving.
Will you make a vision board for your relationship?
Try it. Tell me what happened. If you feel weird about creating a vision board, read How to Be Creative Without Fear of Criticism.
For me, the biggest hurdle is finding places to look for images. If I can’t use popular magazines, then where will I look?
While I can’t offer advice, I do read every comment. I encourage you to respond to other readers’ comments if you feel led, and to share your experience of learning how to make a vision board. Writing often brings clarity and insight, and can help you process your feelings.
My next blog post is called Lessons Learned in Unhealthy Relationships. Make sure you sign up below for my weekly email to receive new articles!