You make dozens of decisions every day, and some have the power to change your life forever! These tips on how to make a decision will show you the most important thing about decision-making: how to listen to that still, small voice and trust yourself.
Every week on Blossom, I write four articles on a different theme. This week is about decision-making, learning to trust that still small voice, and taking your own advice about what you need to do to change your life. My focus will be making decisions in relationships – such as How to Decide When to Leave a Relationship – but my tips apply to all types of decisions that are life changing.
You are the expert on you. You have the answers in you, and you have all the power you need to make a decision that will change your life! The trick is learning how to trust yourself to make good decisions. You need to learn how to make a decision instead of relying solely on the advice of others. That’s today’s focus; tomorrow will be tips for letting go of toxic relationship. The next two days will cover different ways to find ourselves, and how to let go of relationship problems.
Making Life-Changing Decisions About Your Relationship
All the time, readers ask me for advice about their relationships. And all the time I say I can’t give advice! I don’t know their whole story – and more importantly I don’t know them the way they know themselves. I write relationship articles, but I can’t give personal advice on how to make a decision about their love life.
Instead of telling people what to do, I encourage them to focus on that still, small voice.
How do you do that?
I love going for a run at 5:30 in the morning. It’s dark and crisp, and I listen to podcasts by Joyce Meyers. When I walk my dogs, I listen to Michael Hyatt’s podcasts about business and leadership and blogging.
But it’s only when I unplug that I hear the still, small voice that tells me how to make a decision. I get ideas about blogging, going on vacation, helping friends, and cooking dinner. I can’t hear what I know – or what God is telling me – unless I take out the earbuds.
What do you need to make a decision about? Whether you’re trying to decide if you should take a relationship break or let go of someone you love, you need to take time to listen. If you truly want to change your life, you need to learn how to listen to that still, small voice! It will tell you what you need to know.
Sit with a decision
If you’re part of my Blossom newsletter crew, you know I’ve been making all sorts of changes with my blogs! After shifting from “Quips and Tips in Love and Relationships” to Blossom in Love, I decided to narrow down my niche even further. But I had no idea how to get more specific! So I just went with whatever decision seemed best.
Here is how to make a decision that will change your life: decide on one thing and sit with it for a few days or weeks…or years! Last month I decided that on my Blossom blogs I would share ideas and inspiration to help women over 40 make midlife changes and flourish in all seasons of their life. After sitting with that for three weeks, I realized that my love and relationship articles are by far the most popular. This is where women need me – and where God wants me. Not to give relationship advice, but to help women listen to their own inner voices.
Your thoughts are welcome below! I don't give advice, but you can get free relationship help from marriage coach Mort Fertel.
Again, what are you making a decision about? Take a deep breath. Listen to that still, small voice that is telling you how to change your life. Then, sit with that decision for a time.
Did you know that sitting with a decision isn’t passive? It can involve taking action. For example. I took action with my “midlife Blossoms” blog idea by reading books about making midlife changes, setting up Google alerts so I could learn what the news was covering about midlife, and telling my newsletter subscribers about the changes I was making. I took action even though I still sitting with the decision. This is how to make a decision that will change your life: take action even if you’re not 100% sure what to do.
Pretend you’re trying to decide if you should stay in a loveless marriage. Your still, small voice is telling you that you can’t leave your husband. You’re sitting with your decision to stay married and rebuild your relationship. How can you take action? You can go to counselling on your own – or even marriage counselling – and learn how to change your life without getting a divorce. You can read books about saving a marriage. You can change your expectations of your marriage and your husband.
Change your mind, if you want
You can always change course.
I changed my mind about Blossom, and decided to help women listen to that still, small voice so they blossom in love! Sure, I feel a little weird about changing so abruptly. Yes, I think I’m wacky. But I’m definitely happy with this new trajectory, and it suits me better than midlife blossoms. So here I go.
It’s never to late to be what you might have been, said George Eliot.
If it was true for her, it’s true for you.
Questions for you
- What are the benefits of seeking advice when you’re making a decision that will change your life? The drawbacks?
- What were you taught about how to make decisions that change your life?
- Who do you turn to when you’re making big decisions about love and relationships?
If you’re making a decision about your relationship, you might find Should You Give Up on Your Relationship? helpful. I can’t give advice on how to make a decision that will change your life, but I welcome your thoughts.
On Blossom this week
Every week I write a Four-Day Series on specific topics for women in relationships. This week’s theme is decision-making and changing your life.
Here’s the lineup this week:
- Mon – How to Make a Decision That Will Change Your Life (Imagine)
- Tues – 7 Tips for Letting Go of Toxic Relationships (Dare)
- Weds – 5 Ways to Find Yourself After Getting Lost in Love (Prepare)
- Thurs – How to Stop Worrying About Relationship Problems (Leap and Flourish!)