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How to Love Your Husband

You can’t change your husband, but you can change your marriage. Read these tips on how to love your husband, and tell me which ones work for you…

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” -Lao Tzu.

For the next few minutes, I want you to focus on what it means for you to love your husband. Don’t let thoughts of things “he should” or “he should not” do distract you from your main purpose. I’m 100% he’s not perfect, and you may be struggling to love him!

Right now, your purpose is to think about how to show your husband you love him. It’s about you creating love, peace, joy, and connection in your marriage.

How to Love Your Husband

Learn how he receives love. In Examples of the Five Love Languages, I describe how different people give and receive love in different ways. For instance, I’m big on hearing Words of Affirmation. I LOVE being told how smart, important, and valuable I am! I love when my husband tells me he loves me – I need to hear it, I love to hear it, and I could spend all day listening to his reasons for loving me. What is your husband’s love language? Does he love when you cook for him, spend time with him, or give him freedom?

Do one thing a day to show your love. After you figure out what your husband’s love language is, take action. My husband loves when I cook for him. Baking cookies, for instance, or getting him a snack. He’d love me to cook him a full meal, but that’s where I draw the line! Knowing how to love your husband doesn’t mean you have to be a doormat or sacrifice everything you are…it just means you speak his love language at least once a day. Think of how that might affect your marriage – or even how it could save your marriage!

Don’t blame your husband for all your problems. If you’re unhappily married, it’s not all his fault. You chose to marry him, you chose to have children, and you chose to stay in this relationship. The beauty of accepting responsibility in your marriage is that it empowers you and helps you see how many choices you have! You don’t have to stay married, but you’ll be much happier if you learn how to love your husband in ways that empower both of you.

Remember the reasons fell in love with your husband. Think back to the first time you met him, felt your heart melt at the sight of him, realized that you loved him. Make a mental or written list of all the reasons you love your husband. How has he changed? How have you changed? What happened to your relationship, your marriage, your life?

Believe there is a reason you’re married. This is different than remembering the reasons you fell in love with your husband. This tip on how to love your husband is about God. Do you believe that you’re loved by the Creator of the Universe? Do you have a spiritual relationship with God – or even with a Higher Power? I do. I believe God is taking care of me, and has brought you to my article on how to love your husband for a reason. I also believe you’re married to your husband for a reason, and you want to save your marriage.

What do you believe about your marriage? What do you think about these tips on how to love your husband? I welcome your comments below, but I can’t give advice or offer marriage counseling.

I wrote these tips for loving your husband for a reader who commented on How to Get Money to Leave Your Husband. She doesn’t want to save her marriage; she only wants to get as far away from her husband as possible.

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2 thoughts on “How to Love Your Husband”

  1. Dear Lynnsey,

    You’re right – you and your fiance need help! Have you tried couples counseling? It sounds like you and he are trapped in a pattern of arguing and conflict, and the best way to break that pattern is to get an objective outside perspective.

    You might also read books about merging families. Second marriages and stepchildren can be difficult to handle – but luckily, many people have written about their experience. If I were you, I would see what they’ve learned, and try to apply their strategies to my own marriage.

    Maybe you’d be encouraged by my free weekly newsletter, called SheBlossoms. I help women look upwards to grow healthy and strong, emotionally and spiritually. You may find it helpful, and you can sign up for my newsletter above.

    Take care of yourself, and stay open to God’s love, healing, power, and freedom.


  2. Hi. Everytime my fiance and i argue he will throw my son name in it than i throw his daughter name in it and then she runs to his ex wife tells her everything. Then his 9 year old daughter disrespects me and i feel i dont want to be around her. I dont know what to do, I need help learning how to love my husband.