Can you love a man too much? It depends how you define “love.” These tips on how to love a man without losing yourself will help you build a healthy, happy relationship.
I’m reading How We Love: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage – it’s an excellent book that will help you identify what is disrupting your relationship, understand how your love style impacts your husband, and break free of negative patterns that hinder your marriage. You’ll also learn how to enhance your sexual intimacy and create the deeper, richer marriage of your dreams.
These tips on how to love a man without losing yourself is for a reader who commented on my article about getting healthy when you’re in love. Here’s what Miss B says on How to Let Go of Someone You Love: “What’s crazy is all of our stories are the same… I think we are so in love with these men that we have sickend ourselves into believing that what they’re doing is okay because we love them. I’m starting to believe that when you love someone you love that person so much that your brain will convince you they love you back.”
It’s healthy and good to love a man alot, but it’s unhealthy when you lose yourself in your relationship. Losing yourself isn’t loving him too much. Losing yourself is about not knowing what healthy, true love is.
What is healthy love?
Healthy love makes you stronger, happier, and more courageous. If you’re in a healthy love relationship, you feel secure and peaceful. You don’t question yourself, your boyfriend, or your relationship.
No matter how healthy your love is, you’ll have problems! You can love someone with your heart, mind and soul – and still get irritated by his jokes, habits, and actions. Love doesn’t mean your relationship is easy and always fun.
Healthy love means trust, respect, and acceptance.
To learn more about healthy love, read What is a Healthy Relationship? 5 Signs of Real Love.
Are you in an unhealthy love relationship?
Read the comments on my articles – they’re almost all from women who are in unhealthy love relationships! They may think they love their men too much, but I think they’ve lost themselves. And I don’t blame them – it’s easy to lose yourself in a man.
You can sincerely love a man, but not be able to have a relationship with him. Maybe he’s a liar, cheater, or thief. Maybe you and he have different life goals. Maybe he’s not ready to settle down into a loving relationship – or maybe you aren’t.
Unhealthy love isn’t about loving a man too much. It’s about not understanding what healthy love is because of the romantic lies in Hollywood movies, romance novels, and television shows.
How to Love a Man Without Losing Yourself
- Stay connected to your childhood self. What made you happy and excited to be alive?
- Don’t let your relationship become your whole life.
- Learn what self-identity is, and how to be yourself in your relationship.
- Cultivate interests outside of your home and marriage. Learn how to play the flute, join a women’s self-defence class, or go back to school.
- Get physically healthy – exercise every day, eat foods that give you strength and energy, and pamper your body in healthy ways (get a massage!).
- Take time for yourself. Connect with your soul and God every hour throughout the day.
- Make friends with women who are strong, happy, healthy, and whole.
- Don’t hide your husband’s behaviors or words from your friends and family. Be honest about who he is.
I love my husband alot, and I sometimes hold back my true thoughts and emotions because I don’t want to scare him, or I’m scared of what he’ll think. That’s a good example of unhealthy love…and I work on it every day.
Do you hold yourself back in different ways? Read How to Be Creative Without Fear of Criticism. I wrote it for a reader who wants to pursue her artistic hobbies, but worries about what her husband will say.
I welcome your thoughts on how to love a boyfriend or husband without losing yourself. I can’t offer advice, but it may help you to share your experience.
May you learn how to see yourself as God sees you: precious, lovable, whole, and beautiful. May you see yourself honestly, and may you learn how to love yourself authentically.
Your thoughts are welcome below! I don't give advice, but you can get free relationship help from marriage coach Mort Fertel.