When you’re sorting through the best tips on how to get your ex back, what do you try first? Here are the most important things to remember about getting back together after a breakup.
If you believe getting your ex back isn’t as simple as an apology, read How To Get Your Ex Back – A Step By Step Guide To Getting Your Ex Back Fast by Ryan Morris and Kimberly Hunter. Remember that learning how to get your ex back is a process that takes time. It probably won’t happen overnight, and it may involve you having to make some changes in your thoughts, personality, lifestyle, or actions. Getting your ex back may mean proving that you’re different than you were before the breakup, and that you have changed and grown. That’s why I recommend books like How to Get Your Ex Back – because reconciliation is a process, not a one-time event. Plus, you want to improve your relationship, right?
When I wrote about how to convince someone to give you a second chance, I focused on a reader’s specific question. He screwed up his relationship, his girlfriend broke up with him, and he was desperate. He would’ve done anything to know how to get his ex-girlfriend back. Those tips on how to get your ex back were about being apologetic and conciliatory. The tips in this article focus on the two things I think are most important about getting back together.
Getting Back Together With Your Ex
Take time to let your emotions settle. When you’re heartbroken because of a breakup, you’re not thinking clearly. You’re emotional, and you’re grieving the end of a relationship that was very important to you. It may have been the focus of your life, and the reason you got up in the morning. Even if it was a bad relationship, it was a very important part of your life. If you just recently broke up, your emotions are all over the place! You’re devastated, angry, confused, sad, bitter, and frustrated. This is not the best time to approach your ex and try to get back together. Take time to let your emotions settle down.
Figure out why you want to get your ex back. Before you read all the books and tips on how to get your ex back, think about your reasons for reconciliation. What do you miss about the relationship and your ex? In Should You Try to Get Your Ex Back?, I list nine bad reasons for getting back together and seven good reasons for getting back together. If you have more bad reasons than good ones, then maybe you shouldn’t be so focused on how to get your ex back.
Think about what your friends and family say about the breakup. I’m not a big fan of doing what other people say – or letting other people run our lives – but I think it’s important to pay attention to people we trust. When I broke up with a boyfriend who was abusive, I really wanted to get back together with him. I thought I’d die without him! But my best friend kept reminding me that it was a terrible relationship and that I’m better off without him. All I could think about was how to get my ex back, but my friends were so supportive of the breakup – and in the long run, breaking up with him (and staying broken up!) was the best thing I ever did. What do your friends and family say about getting your ex back? Should you listen to them?
Listen carefully to your ex. On How to Let Go of Someone You Love, I talk about the idea that you can’t control many things in your life. You can’t control who loves you, who leaves you, who helps you, who betrays you. You can’t control your neighbourhood, the traffic, the weather, or the economy. You might not be able to control whether or not you get your ex back, but you can listen carefully to what he tells you. If he says he never wants to get back together, remember that you can’t change him. You can sometimes change circumstances, and you can change your attitude and response to events and people…but you might not be able to change your ex’s decision about the breakup.
If it’s time to start thinking about healing and moving forward in your life, read How to Stop Thinking About Your Ex and Move On. It’s one of my most popular articles.
Need marriage help? Get FREE relationship advice from Marriage Coach Mort Fertel.
I welcome your thoughts on how to get your ex back. I can’t offer advice or counseling, but I believe that expressing yourself in writing brings clarity and insight. Writing helps you sort through your problems, which leads to healing.