These tips for getting revenge on your ex-boyfriend or ex-husband will help you rise about the terrible things he did to you. The inspiration for this article came from the parable of a princess warrior who got even with those who hurt her…but she paid a great price.
These tips are about “getting revenge on your ex” – but they’re not really about revenge or getting even. They’re about rising above a terrible relationship and abusive treatment. These Blossom Tips are about mending your broken heart and growing forward in your life.
If you focus on getting revenge, all your strength and energy goes toward the terrible things you suffered with your ex in a bad relationship. If, on the other hand, you focus on moving forward and becoming who God created you to be, you let light and joy into your life. You get to choose what to put your energy into! That’s what blossoming is all about. And, it’s not about getting revenge on your ex.
Revenge is a confession of pain. It’s a way to cope with rejection, anger, betrayal, and bitterness. But getting revenge doesn’t heal your spirit. Exacting revenge on your ex-boyfriend won’t make you feel better about who you are or where you’re going.
You’ll find my tips for getting revenge on your ex by rising above a terrible relationship – and healing your broken heart – right after the parable of a princess warrior.
The Parable of the Princess Warrior
Once upon a time, there was a princess warrior who suffered defeat in a battle and the loss of everything she held dear. She swore she’d get revenge, and called upon the gods of vengeance. She was offered a sword that would make her invincible. The princess warrior would suffer defeat no more.
The only drawback was that the princess warrior would never be able to put down the sword. She would have to sleep and eat with the sword in her hand for the rest of her life.
Her pain and bitterness blinding her, the princess warrior agreed. She took up the sword. She felt a strange power flow through her, from the sword to her arm, her body, her soul. She felt invincible. The warning about never being able to put this sword down seemed insignificant. The princess warrior never wanted to put it down, she felt so powerful with the sword in her hand!
The princess warrior set off in pursuit of her enemies so she could get revenge. One by one she tracked them down, and as the gods had promised, she was never defeated. In fact, she grew stronger and ever more vengeful. No one could stand against her; everyone feared her. The princess warrior’s wrath became a legend of power and hatred.
She slowly awoke to an agony that was killing her spirit and soul. The princess warrior realized this was indeed no ordinary sword. In fact it was not a sword at all – it was a serpent. She had sought, invited, and indeed welcomed the serpent to take hold of her, to sink his loathsome fangs into her hand and soul.
The princess warrior’s victories belonged to the serpent. It wasn’t the princess warrior who was getting revenge on those who hurt her…it was the serpent consuming her and everyone in her path. With every battle, with every victory, with every passing day the serpent consumed more of the princess warrior.
Need encouragement? Get a beautiful FREE "She Blossoms" 2019 calendar when you sign up for my free weekly Blossom Tips!
She would do anything to put the sword down, but she never could. Eventually the serpent consumed her, and the princess warrior was no more.
6 Ways to “Get Revenge” on Your Ex
Does learning how to get revenge on your ex seem less significant now, after reading the parable of the princess warrior’s vengeance? Maybe, maybe not. Either way, these tips on getting revenge on your ex-boyfriend will help you settle the breakup in your own mind.
Don’t let your ex-boyfriend or ex-husband drag you down to his level. Your boyfriend doesn’t want you in his life anymore, and you don’t need him in yours. Instead of trying to get even or exact revenge on him, start moving towards healing and freedom.
1. Get enough sleep
Sleeping well may seem like a weird tip for getting revenge, but it make sense when you know what the American Academy of Sleep Medicine was about sleeplessness, revenge, and aggression. The sleepier you are, the more likely you’ll keep thinking about how things could have been better. If you’re tired, you’re more likely to believe that your ex’s bad behavior and poor choices were responsible for the breakup. If you’re sleepy, you’re prone to thinking about what could have been. You’re unhappy with your life. You’re obsessed with angry thoughts about how your ex could have done better. If you take care of yourself by getting enough sleep, you’re less likely to let the serpent and the sword consume you. Your ending will be much sweeter than the princess warrior’s.
2. Disconnect from your ex-boyfriend or ex-husband
Revenge is a way to stay connected. You’re searching for tips on how to get revenge on your ex-boyfriend because you don’t want to let go of him. You want him in your life, and you want him to be aware of how much he hurt you. You want him to know that he destroyed your life, that he is lower than dirt, and that he won’t get away with what he did to you. The problem with revenge, however, is that it keeps you connected to the darkest parts of yourself. Getting revenge isn’t the answer, as we saw in the parable of the princess warrior. Revenge is the doorway to a darker, more bitter place that will destroy you.
3. Let karma do her job
Whether you call it revenge, justice, or karma – your ex will get what’s coming to him. If he deserves to be punished, he will be punished. Don’t get in the way of the natural order of justice, or of karma. Let karma or God take care of the past, of the way things “should be.” However, if your ex did anything illegal, I encourage you to talk to the police about pressing charges! There is a huge difference between getting revenge on your ex because your feelings are hurt versus pressing charges against a man who harmed you.
5. Focus on getting your self back instead of getting revenge on your ex
Don’t let your ex steal your spirit, soul, and dreams! The more time and energy you spend thinking about how to get revenge, the less time and energy you have for healing, growing, and restoring your identity. Every second you spend plotting revenge on your ex-boyfriend is another second of your life that is gone forever. Revenge is the dark side. Learn from the princess warrior’s experience with the all-consuming nature of vengeance! Free yourself from the serpent that will destroy your life.
6. Take good care of yourself – living well is the best revenge!
How can you pamper your mind, body, and soul? Maybe you need to listen to breakup songs for letting go of someone you love. Let go of the ugly thoughts of getting revenge, and embrace the warmth and comfort of a healing bath, a foot soak, an aromatherapy candle. Pamper yourself. Be good to yourself – especially if your ex-boyfriend wasn’t good to you.
Whether you’re coping with a bad breakup, picking yourself up after a divorce, helping your children heal after abuse, or reeling from the shock of a betrayal – you need to take care of yourself. Being kind to yourself – living well, pampering your body, healing your hurts – is one of the best “ways to get revenge” because it heals you and doesn’t hurt others. How you take care of yourself depends on your personality, lifestyle, income, and preferences.
7. Let him go
In How to Let Go of Someone You Love I share stories about letting go from me and a few “She Blossoms” readers. Our experiences with love and loss will comfort and encourage you.
I offer 25 Blossom Tips, each paired with a practical “how to.” Every tip highlights a different part of who you are—spirit, heart, soul, body, and brain. This holistic approach will help you move forward in different ways, according to your personality, mood, energy level and lifestyle.
The Blossom Tips are actionable insights that will fill your heart and help you heal! If you want to dig into your faith, for example, you’ll love the Spirit Blossoms. If you need emotional healing you’ll find comfort in the Heart Blossoms. If you want to explore the creative side of your personality, you’ll love the Soul Blossoms; they’re designed to help you express who God created you to be! You’ll be physically strengthened by the Body Blossoms, and intellectually challenged by the Brain Blossoms.
If you want to get revenge on your ex because you he walked out on you, read What is Relationship Closure? How to Heal Without a Goodbye.
I welcome your thoughts on how to get revenge on your ex below! Writing is a great way to slow down, figure out what you think, and learn why you want to get even with your ex-husband or ex-boyfriend. Sharing your story is a great way to express all the negative thoughts and feelings.
May you find hope and healing, forgiveness and freedom in your life! May you move forward – slowly but steadily – and blossoming into who God created you to be.
Are you unhappy in your relationship? Get 7 Steps to Fixing Your Marriage and FREE relationship advice from Mort Fertel, founder of the Marriage Fitness Program.
Laurie's "She Blossoms" Books
Growing Forward When You Can't Go Back - to help you walk through loss into a new season of life. I share glimpses into my life with a schizophrenic mother, living in foster homes, teaching in Africa, and coping with infertility. Woven through the book are practical, encouraging Blossom Tips to help you grow and flourish!
How to Let Go of Someone You Love - Powerful Secrets (and Practical Tips!) for Healing Your Heart After a Breakup. Do you feel like you'll never get over your broken heart? This ebook - available immediately - will help you heal. It's time to let go of what was, and embrace what will be.
When You Miss Him Like Crazy - 25 Lessons to Move You From Broken to Blossoming After a Breakup! You miss him desperately right now, but you won't always feel this way. This warm, comforting ebook will give you the tools, encouragement and strength you need to move through the pain and start blossoming - today!