The comment I always get from readers is “I need relationship help!” So, here are the best tips on how to get relationship help. I can’t give advice about relationships because I don’t know the full story, and the issues are always deeper than how they appear on the surface.
In Rising Strong, Brene Brown describes the power of living a brave life and leaning into discomfort. She teaches how to reckon with our emotions and get curious about what we’re feeling. She helps us rumble with our stories until we get to a place of truth – and that’s one of the best ways to get relationship help because it will create a revolution in your life! Rising strong after a fall is how we cultivate wholeheartedness. And, wholeheartedness is how we learn how to cope with anything life brings…even relationship problems or failures.
Here’s what one reader said on my article about how to recognize unhealthy relationships: “I’m in a bad relationship,” says Kay on 10 Warning Signs of a Bad Relationship. “It’s just so hard to let go. He treats me terribly. I’m miserable in our relationship, and I need help. And in spite of everything, I keep going around in circles wondering why I can’t bring myself to leave because I’m so scared of not having him in my life anymore. What do I do? I need relationship help badly.” I can’t give relationship advice, but I do have a few ideas on how to get relationship help…
Tips for Getting Relationship Help
If you’re searching for relationship help online, you either don’t have anyone to talk to or you’ve already talked about your problems endlessly with friends or family. You may not have anyone to talk to because you’re embarrassed or ashamed to admit you need to get relationship help. Maybe you don’t want to admit you made a mistake, or you want to protect your partner.
The first tip on how to get relationship help is to figure out what’s holding you back from talking about your relationship with people you trust. If you’ve already talked about your relationship, then you need to figure out what’s holding you back from making changes.
Be vulnerable and honest
If you haven’t told anyone about your relationship problems, then it’s time to reach out and open up. If you’re embarrassed or ashamed, read Brene Brown’s books on overcoming shame. It’s both simple and difficult – I know! Admitting what we’re going through and how we feel is painful. But, it’s also liberating and peace-giving.
Learn how to talk about your relationship problems with people you trust and respect. Ask for help, healing, and guidance. You might start by asking how to get relationship help online, but I encourage you to take it a step further.
Remember the limitations of online relationship articles
On Help for Codependent Relationships, a reader said it’s sad that most relationship articles on the internet offer quick solutions and superficial advice that isn’t very helpful. I agree!
The problem is that it’s almost impossible to give specific advice or offer help for specific problems in relationships because 1) the writer doesn’t know the details from both sides of the story; and 2) one blog post could never offer enough tips on how to get relationship help because there are issues that run deeper.
Look for in-person relationship help
I don’t give relationship advice because I believe it’s impossible to get the full story from a blog reader’s comment, no matter how long or detailed the comment is. I always encourage people to get relationship help in person. A counselor isn’t always necessary (though counseling is usually my first tip on how to get relationship help). Go to support groups, read books about relationships and boundaries and healing, talk to wise trusted friends, call helplines or distress lines.
Getting in-person help – even if it’s on the phone – is better than searching for relationship help online because you’ll be able to share the nuances and intricacies of your situation. You’ll be able to communicate things that you can’t share in writing, and you’ll learn things you never knew simply by speaking the words out loud.
Be cautious with online relationship help
There are several ways to get help with your relationship over the internet. In fact, I even endorse one of them! Mort Fertel is a marriage coach who helps couples get their relationships back on track. His system is trustworthy and his marriage coaching is ethical.
That said, however, not all types of online relationship are as good as Mort Fertel. I should write an article about how to recognize a trustworthy, ethical relationship counselor online! You don’t want to waste your time or money getting counseling that might do more harm than good.
If you’re getting online advice about your relationship, remember that you’re only sharing your perspective. The “counselor” doesn’t know both sides of the story. He or she won’t be able to help you uncover your own issues, quirks and weaknesses that contribute to the relationship problems.
Take your time and learn how to get relationship help online that is trustworthy and actually helpful. Don’t just spill your story on the first forum you find.
If you think you’re facing a breakup or separation, read 7 Ways to Know If Your Relationship is Worth Fighting For
Reach upwards for strength and wisdom
The single most reliable, consistent source of power, peace, and joy is God. The strength and wisdom He offers is far more trustworthy and loving than what any person could give you. Develop a relationship with Him, and you will receive more help than you ever dreamed.
May you take time to seek Jesus and develop your spiritual self as you work through whatever relationship problems you have. Slow down and stop looking outside for ways to get relationship help. Get emotionally strong and healthy, and your relationship problems will be easier to cope with.
I welcome your thoughts on how to get relationship help below. As you know, I can’t offer advice…but it may help to share your experience by writing about it. Writing can bring clarity and insight, and help you see your relationship more clearly.