How to Get Over the Pain of Being Cheated On


If you’re shocked and shattered because of his unfaithfulness, you need to take these three steps to get over being cheated on. Here’s how to move past the pain and shock, and blossom into forgiveness and healing.

how to get over pain of being cheated on“I’ve only been married for a year and a half, but we’ve been together for four years,” says Sandra on 7 Healthy Ways to Let Go of Someone You Love. “I recently found out that my husband was constantly lying to me and sneaking around to be with other women. He has private pictures and he wrote messages to lure other women, telling them that he’s their future husband. He told them not to be scared, to trust him. He’s a very dishonest man, I’ve loved him and supported his goals over the years. I’m still in love with him, yet I want to leave him but I do not know how. He’s all I have. Please help me.”

First, you need to stop thinking that he is all you have! That is not true. It is a lie that you have nothing but this man. You have much more than that – but it’s hard to see all the good you have when you’re shattered because of betrayal. Here are three steps towards getting over being cheated on…





There are many reasons it’s devastating when someone cheats on you. For instance…

  • Being cheated on feels like a direct attack on your self-worth
  • It’s offensive and gross to think someone you love could be intimate and romantic with someone else
  • Your identity is connected with who you are as a girlfriend, wife, and lover. So, being cheated on changes how you see yourself
  • You trusted and loved this man, and you never thought he’d cheat on you. You might not even be able to believe it, even when you know in your heart that it’s true
  • Being cheated on and lied to makes you feel foolish, like you were duped – especially if your boyfriend or husband asked friends, family, coworkers, or others to lie for him

Take a moment to think about the pain of being cheated on. It is painful – and that’s why it’s not easy to just learn how to get over being cheated on! Infidelity is a hurtful thing to experience. It’s terrible and traumatic, and it destroys relationships.

How to Get Over Being Cheated On

Your feelings of betrayal, shock, grief, and devastation are painful and heavy, but you need to work your way through them. Don’t rush into the “I have to get over this!” stage until you allow your mind and heart to accept that he cheated on you.

And, take time to understand why it’s so difficult to accept this type of betrayal in a relationship. You might also be interested in learning why people cheat in relationships.

Understand why infidelity is so devastating to your heart and soul

Love is addictive. We need to be loved; we’re wired to be and stay in relationships. We are made to be connected in relationship, to love and be loved in return. We were created to be in unity with each other and with our Creator. We were made to be together; even thinking about the boyfriend or husband you love activates the same parts of the brain associated with addiction, motivation, and reward.

So, any type of breakup is painful! Even the breakup of an unhealthy relationship is difficult to get over. But a relationship rift caused by cheating is devastating.

When you’re cheated on, you experience a sharp rejection that pierces your heart and soul. This rejection prompts a “neurochemical withdrawal”, according to anthropologist Helen Fisher. In ‘It’s Over: Bounce Back From a Bad Breakup’ in Psychology Today magazine, she says love is a wonderful addiction when it’s going well, but it’s a painful withdrawal when it goes poorly.

Give yourself time to grieve the end of your relationship

Even if you choose to stay with your boyfriend or husband, your relationship as you knew it is over. Your perception of him has changed – and no advice on how to get over cheating will bring you back to the day you met, fell in love, and gave him your heart.



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That part of your relationship is over. Grieve it, even if you stay with him. Work through the feelings of betrayal, pain, loss, anger, and disappointment. Take time to accept what he did and how you feel about it. What is the “best” way to grieve and get over being cheated on? It depends on you. You need to try different ways to heal – such as writing about your pain, talking to a counselor, reading books on how to get over being cheated on, and changing how you see yourself.

If you believe that your boyfriend or husband is all you have, then you need to change your beliefs. If you think you’ll never be loved again, you need to challenge your thoughts. If your self-worth is tied up in your relationship, then you need to examine the source of your self-worth.

Renew your sense of self-worth

This is one of the most important tips on how to get over being cheated on: rebuild your identity and self-image. Renew your sense of self-worth. Restore your self-esteem. If you believe that your boyfriend or husband is all you have, then you will never get over his infidelity.

How to Get Over Being Cheated On

How to Get Over the Pain of Being Cheated On

Your self-worth should not be tied to any relationship or any man. A relationship – whether it’s with your boyfriend, husband, parent, child, or family member – is one part of who you are. A relationship is not your identity, and it should not be the source of your self-worth.

The more you get your self-worth and identity from your role as a girlfriend or wife, the more difficult it will be to figure out how to get over being cheated on. Why? Because your boyfriend’s infidelity is a direct attack on who you are. If your self-worth is tied up in your relationship, then his actions are a direct reflection of you.

What to Do Next

Take specific steps towards renewing your self-worth. Do not let your boyfriend or husband’s actions determine how you see yourself! You were created with love and care. God made you exactly the way you are for a specific purpose. Do not override God’s wisdom by choosing to see yourself in light of a man who cheats and lies to people who love him.

Decide if you want to stay in this relationship. If you want to rebuild your relationship, read How to Forgive and Recover From Your Spouse’s Infidelity.

Share your thoughts about being cheated on. While I can’t offer specific advice on how to get over being cheated on, I do read every comment. I encourage you to write about what you’re going through, because writing often brings clarity and insight. Writing can help you figure out how you feel, and help you heal. Feel free to respond to other readers’ comments if you feel led.

“Nothing in the universe can stop you from letting go and starting over.” ~ Guy Finley.

xo



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23 thoughts on “How to Get Over the Pain of Being Cheated On

  • Aileen

    It’s almost five years since I discovered my husband of nearly 30 years was not the devoted and loving man that I believed him to be. He was a liar, cheat and serial adulterer. My children and I were completely devasted to discover that he was a “swinger”. He moved in with a woman who also cheated on her husband of 24 years and engaged in indecent images. They live with her two unruly little girls while her son refused to join them and stayed with his father. My husband has consistently tried to get me out of our home of 35 years despite the fact that he has inherited his family home valued in excess of £1/2 million. Get over it? Not a chance. I hang onto life by a narrow thread, carried along by the devotion of my friends and the fact that my three beautiful Children and five gorgeous Grandchildren are more important than anything else. Forgive him? Not a chance. I’d kill him, if I’d get away with it, for the damage he’s done to our children’s lives. I live in the moment every day and am grateful for my health and devote my life to helping my children. I am a WASPI so very little money but I’ve learnt to content myself with my garden, my three cats and my little dog, who is the light of my life. A future relationship? Not a chance, I’ll never trust again. Advice to others, you get one chance at life so live for the people or animals that love you. Take a hour at a time and fill it with things you love. The sun will shine again but not in the way you always hoped it would.

  • N

    married a girl in october of 2017 that i have been with for 5 years now. in march ( two months ago) , i found out she had been in a relationship with another man for the past 14 months in canada as my wife was canadian and was not an american citizen yet. she would spend 5 nights a week here and 2 nights a week in canada. she would spend the 2 nights in canada at her parents house or with a girlfriend only to find out she was staying at this mans house. she took him on vacation (lying saying she had to go out of town for a weekend with work), spent valentines day with him and who knows what else. then found other men in her phone under girls names and found out shes been sleeping with multiple men over the past 3 years of our relationship. how do you get up every morning and look at yourself in the mirror saying- i’m ok with what i am doing. Nothing changed in our relationship when we got married. we were the couple that everyone looked at because of how happy we were, all of our vacations, the perfect life and she hid everything from everybody. hid it from her family, closest friends/everyone. she got caught and couldnt face it so she picked up and left to make it seem like it was my fault. still to this day she has not admitted what she has done. 2 months have gone by and we have barely talked, she signed the papers and that is it because she has no answer for why she did what she did. nothing she can say will justify the amount of lying she has done over our relationship and that is the part i’m struggling with the most. all of the lies, what was real, not going home to that person anymore that honestly does not exist. she was able to live 3 different lives all this time and nobody saw a thing. I still get comments such as, “i dont understand how this is real, she was so happy”.

    do i stop talking about it? there are parts of me that will blame myself for small fights that we used to have in regards to her working her other job as a server (where she would get all of the attention). i feel like there is nothing i could have done to stop this.

  • S

    I recently found my boyfriend of 3 years of in bed with another woman. We have had a rocky year this year bc of life changing choices he made without any regards to our relationship. We had just gotten through the holidays and things were going smoothly it finallyit felt like things were back in track. Then one day I was pretty sure he was being dishonest about where he was and who he was with using his kids as excuses. After work I drive to his house like I often do and there I found him in bed with another woman. She was laying where I had just lay making g love to my boyfriend. I was devastated. After working through everything he now brings another woman into our relationship. I explain to her everything he has put us through and about him in general including the fact that he is a pathological liar. He had just lied to me about her and confirmed to me I have nothing to worry about as I sensed something and questioned him in bed because he has cheated before. He is choosing to stay with her as our relationship is ending. All I can think is how horrible he is to me a person he claims to live. What a joke.

    • Victoria

      S, I need to tell you few things, but the most important is this : He just did you a huge solid favor by letting you to discover his true face. Discovering it now, only 3 yrs into relationship is nothing, comparing to people actually dumping their SOs after 20+ years and leaving them broken-hearted, emotionally and financially robbed.
      The other few things I need you to know are these:
      – cheater is ALWAYS a cheater
      – you missed a big red flag that you called ‘ life changing choices he made without any regards to our relationship’
      – he is most likely a covert narcissist and you were his temporary supply, not A Loved One.. You were a property of his harem. Sorry to break it to you. He never loved you, neither he loves the other woman (women), nor will he love anyone other than himself
      – the best thing you can do – get out, leave him behind.. Learn your lesson, and build healthy life for yourself.. that is the best revenge.

  • First Heartbreak

    Hi. This was a good read and I thought I’d share what I’m going through at the moment as well.. Sorry but this will be really long…
    We didn’t date for a long time but I was so sure that I truly loved him. I loved him with every inch of my being. And I felt that the feelings were mutual. We met online and finally saw each other after months of talking over the internet. We spent a week together and I felt the happiest at that time. I felt that he really loved me. I gave everything to him without hesitation since I really felt that he was the one. After that rendezvous, we still contacted each other. He was still very sweet to me, promised me that he will marry me and that he will never look for another. I believed his words because to my eyes he was really an honest person. Along the way, I found out the story about his ex because I kept probing him to tell me. He dated his ex for three years, and he said they broke up because she cheated on him. I felt really sad about it so I promised him that I would never do the same.

    Two months after we met in real life, we still continued our long distance relationship but we started fighting a lot. Because he doesn’t contact me as much anymore but he claimed he was really busy with work. He kept asking me to understand him and in return I’d say I will understand but it irritated me how he kept promising that we would talk at a certain time but he always lets me down. He would keep saying sorry and I’d forgive him and the cycle goes on and on. We both promised each other that no one will give up. That it’s just because we’re far from each other that’s why it’s hard. That if we lived near each other, we wouldn’t be fighting like that because the only reason we fight is because we don’t get to talk as much. After our fights, we would make up and be sweet to each other again.

    But then one day, he was supposed to go to this certain city for a medical check up. He said he would immediately return to his home after the check up. I was shocked to see on the day he was going to the city, he removed his profile picture which was a photo of the two of us. (This city is where his ex lives…) With that in mind, I was getting suspicious.. so I asked him if I can talk to him because there is something I want to know. I told him I’d call him when he gets home. But then he said to just tell him at that moment because he decided to extend his stay for two more days. That surprised me even more. I asked why, but he just told me he will spend time with XXX(his bestfriend who’s currently studying in the city) He told me not to worry and not to think of weird things because he will send pictures from time to time. And he did.

    Everything was all good on that day. But the next day, no matter how much he assured me, I still couldn’t help but get suspicious… so I kept annoying him with questions.. who are you with? what are you doing now? are you with your bestfriend? He just replied with a picture. I said thank you and sorry for still being suspicious even though he already told me that I’m the only one he loves. He said it’s okay. I didn’t reply anymore because I wanted him to enjoy his time with his bestfriend. The next day, I didn’t contact him either. I was just waiting for him to message me that he’s going home.. but he never did. I was so worried so I sent him messages like “are you okay” “are you home now?” “why aren’t you texting me?”

    When he finally replied, he said he just got home but he was too tired. And that he didn’t reply because his phone died.
    After that I don’t know why but I felt very guilty so I sent him a long message expressing how happy I am that I am with him and how much I love him. He never replied to that message. One day passed and still no reply. I was getting nervous. I messaged him if he’s busy but he didn’t reply still. I was getting so worried so I just kept messaging him all throughout the night. I couldn’t sleep. The next day, I received a message from him saying that he wants to stop our relationship. He said the reason is he is getting very tired with my suspicions and jealousy and that we should both focus on our lives. (He is 26 but still doesn’t have a stable income) and he said that I should graduate first. He emphasized that he really loved me but it was getting too hard for him and also stated that maybe after he gets a stable income and I graduate, maybe when destiny allows, then we would meet again.

    The break up came to me as a shock. But I accepted it because his farewell message was rational, he was right, I need to focus on my studies first and him on getting a stable income. Although I was very sad, I continued living with the idea in mind that I’ll just have to graduate and then we can meet again. But then a month later, I discovered something that shattered my world.

    It’s a bit difficult to explain what kind of job he does now, but it’s some sort of internet broadcasting where you’ll need a lot of viewers to earn money from it. That’s what he’s been doing, that’s why it’s not a stable income. But he claims that he’s trying to make it in that industry.

    Anyway, in that sort of job.. viewers can do chatting. I read a chat from a viewer calling him “babe, baby, honey” and based on what she says, it seems like she’s a lover. I asked him about it but I found out he blocked me everywhere we have contact so I had no choice but to message his sister to get help… he received my message via his sister and then answered me that he is not dating anyone because he is not in the position to do so, like not having a stable income and stuff and also he said that the biggest reason is that he wants to focus on himself.

    I believed him once again. I mean, maybe he wasn’t even required to answer me like that anymore but he still did. So it must be true.

    But then two months later, this time I found out he made a new account on that website and continued doing the broadcast (maybe he made a new one because I found his old account) but then…. I saw that girl was still there. This time it was not just chatting. Since his webcam was on, I discovered that the girl was also in his room with him. I can hear her voice as well. It’s already been three months since we broke up but why does it still hurt? I don’t understand why he has to lie to me. To make himself look good? I mean, the moment he left me I already perceived him as a jerk. He know I already booked tickets to see him on his Birthday but he still broke up with me. Why can’t he just tell me the truth? To protect his ego? He is so selfish.

    I don’t understand it at all. I believe he cheated because it seemed like he’s been with that girl as well while we were dating. I wonder if the other girl knows that I exist? From what I saw, the girl seemed really young. Btw, I’m 23 and he’s 26. I’m not sure if that girl was the ex I was suspicious about. But I’m pretty sure he was already with that girl around the time we kept fighting because we didn’t contact a lot..
    Our relationship is sort of a unique case. This person doesn’t have any social media at all. No facebook, twitter, instagram or anything… that’s why I really don’t know what he’s up to other than his broadcasting. I don’t even know how I had the guts to trust this guy at all when he seems kind of shady in the first place..

    Honestly, after our break up I was very depressed. Although I tried to make myself believe that everything will work out fine in the end, but still, at the end of the day I would still cry and mourn for our failed relationship. I actually just found out about the other girl now.. and I feel like my world collapsed.

    Maybe my case is not as bad as the others, since we only dated and (thankfully) didn’t end up in marriage. But it’s my first heartbreak and I don’t know how to handle it 🙁 It makes me question myself. What did I do so wrong? Why must I experience something so painful as this? I don’t even have the confidence if I can love again in the future 🙁

    • Leigh

      Hi so sorry to hear about what you are going through. I can really symphathize because I’m going through something very similar. Its heartbreaking and shocking. Feels like I have been scarred emotionally because of this. If you would like to talk about it please feel free to email me.

    • S

      I’ve experienced something very very similar recently with the main difference being that we’ve never met in real life even after a two year long friendship with feelings involved (he didn’t want there to be any labels but still daily and excessevly expressed his love for me). I single handedly made him from a poor boy on the streets on the verge of killing himself after being cheated on to a man with a fantastic job, a lot of money and great mental health. Since he realized that life was easier without me, he left. After a month he hooked up with another girl. Oh well. My thoughts are with you and i hope that with every day that passes by, you’ll feel more whole again.

  • Missy

    I have been in a relationship with a man for three years now,with whom i had a child. He went abroad to work 2years ago.. I recently found out he got another woman pregnant. He admitted his mistakes, said he didnt want me to leave him,asking for another chance.. He also promised to leave the other woman but the problem is she is threatening him about making a scandal in his workplace. by the way, they are in the middle east and they may face charges if their affair would be found out.. Idont know what to do… I still love him and willing to forgive him…

    • irine

      the same story w/me. i have a bf for 4years and he’s working in saudi. He meet a girl there and having a relationship and the time that woman knows about me she didn’t stop sending me a picture of herself and my bf and even their convo in watsapp. I thought I found an honest man in my bf presence as he is 54 years old while i am 38 but i made a big mistake..

  • Laurie Post author

    Dear Heartbroken,

    I am so sorry for what you’re going through. It’s a difficult thing to accept, the thought that your husband was emotionally involved with someone else. And there are no quick or easy tips on how to get over being cheated on!

    Take heart, for you and your husband will find your way back together. These feelings will pass — the pain and disappointment — and you and he will get through this together. Don’t give up hope, for it’ll be hope that draws you forward and helps you save your marriage.

    I wrote this article a couple days ago; it might help you:

    3 Steps to Start Living by Faith and Healing Your Broken Heart
    http://howloveblossoms.com/how-to-live-by-faith-broken-heart-after-a-break-up/

    I know you and your husband haven’t broken up — but you are starting a new season of marriage! I really want to encourage you to hold on to your faith, because it will help heal your broken heart. You WILL get over the pain of being cheated on….don’t give up hope!

    Take good care of yourself, and come back anytime to let me know how you are.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  • Heartbroken

    I don’t think my husband had a physical affair but he definitely had an emotional affair….I recently had our first child together and something kept nagging at my heart that didn’t feel right. I prayed and God revealed the truth that he had been on the phone with his ex for hours at a time while I was at work and even when I was at home right after we had the baby. Not only has he denied it even when I presented him with the phone records, he has accused me of being moody and emotional and he claimed he was supporting his ex girlfriend who was going through post partum. I am going through the same thing and he basically ignored me and walked around the house like I didn’t exist. This is his first biological child and even though he has confided that is all he ever wanted he insisted upon taking care of his ex-wife’s children who are 10 and 19…I had three children from a previous marriage and in the beginning he tried to be a father to them but alowly started becoming reclusive and distant towards them. I know that I have bent over backwards for this man and it hurts so much to have been treated like this. I know my children and I deserve better but it is so sad to me that he has no remorse and constantly states he didn’t do anything wrong. I just don’t understand why he just didn’t leave if he was that unhappy with me. On another note, he traumatized me and accused me of cheating my whole pregnancy….he lost his job because he wanted to “watch” me while I was home on maternity leave because “he didn’t know what I was home doing.” I haven’t ever cheated on anyone in my life…I thought he was my soulmate. I definitely wasn’t going to start with him. I know God allows everything for a reason and I am grateful for allowing me to see the truth but it still hurts 😢😢😢

  • Anno

    Hi…I feel for everyone here who has been cheated on & lied to!!!!! The depression & anxiety is painfully devasting!!!!!l I wish we all could go through healing & support each other together but we have too many miles apart from where we live, I’m sure. There are no support groups here & I am isolating at home & know that is not good!! Lets all pray for each other ok??? Thank you for adding me to your prayerd for healing, Gods love & peace to you all…Anni

  • Aidin

    About a year ago i loved a girl and one day i get a message from her , it was afternoon, it was a picture of her sleeping along side of a man that took a selfi with my love with her phone and sended it to me saying that i am his boyfriend who are you? Stop messaging my girlfriend , i didn’t know what to make of it i was with that girl for 2 years . I was pretty sure that she loved me too but she was sleep in his arms like the way she slept in my arms , no difference. .. i cant get her out of my head even after a year , i get irritated around people now , i lost my social life :)), she was enough for me but i wasn’t enough for her.

    Thanks for letting me share

    • Anni

      HI there, How TOTALLY DEVASTATING….SO SORRY!!!! I know all yo WELL how getting cheated on & lied to hurts & takes me long time to get over. Hugs & prayers for healing, Anni. NOT spelled Anno…that is me on here but Anno should be Anni

  • Yolanda

    I have been in a relationship with this man, for 15 years. We address each other as, husband and wife. About a year ago, he start to have an affair, (in my living room while I was asleep in the bedroom of the same house), with my so call daughter- in- law. They continue this affair today. She called me ” Mama.” I’m trying so hard to accept that he loves her and will continue to be with her, but there are two things I don’t understand. One is, what role do he want me to play in this devil’s triangle, that he don’t want to get me out, and continue to deny her and stress how much he love me and want to make it work? And how long do he think I’m going to go through this without someone getting physically hurt?

  • Sara

    Hello.

    I want to share my story and please no judgement. I have been with my boyfriend for 9 years, we have 4 little girls together ages 8, 7, 2 and 8 months. He used to have a drug addiction that he fought and with which I tried to support him combating. I found out in January that he had started using again. He disappears 2-3 nights a week. I found where he goes and confronted the lady there. She told me that hs did come to her house occassionally. I asked if anything happened between them (trust me when I say that she was far from attractive…drugs do that to a person) she said no. She made the comment that he only came there to use her phone and to ask her if she knew of anyone he could “hang out” when while high. The entire situation has shattered me as a person. He denies the cheating accusations, stating she is unreliable and that he would not cheat on me. I don’t believe that. Because she has no reason to lie to me and he does. I am confused and hurt. I don’t understand why if there is other options why stay with me and pursue that. He is welcome to leave and live how he wants. I so don’t get it. He claims he loves me and his family but actions speak so much louder at this point. I am repulsed by all of it…I feel stupid for thinking that it was just drugs and more importantly I feel absolutely made a fool of….He is living a second life and with god knows whom…no telling what he has exposed me to….All I can do is cry….I want the pain to stop and I want my life back. This is harder than I thought.

  • Paula

    I found out last November after 36 years of marriage- my husband has been in a relationship with another woman for 6 years. It is devastating to me and to my 3 adult boys. I am 58 years old- stay at home mom. My husband is a lawyer, I have filed for divorce. I have to sell the family and move forward. It is very difficult.

  • Kelly

    I was cheated on ‘several times’ by my fiancé and it hurts every day. There are so many reminders that make it seem impossible to forget and move on from. I am not the same carefree person that I was before being wronged so harshly.

  • thandie

    I am young and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend things where going well between us in a way that everyday l found myself falling deeper änd deeper in love we moved in together and it all started when he cheated with an older woman and they will talk about me. He is dating a lot of girls but I love him. I don’t know how to get over the pain of being cheated on, and I wish he could change his ways but he doesnt. He buys me gifts and spoils me thinking that l would forget and forgive but l cant he might try to make me happy but lm not lm hurting a lot in a way that sometimes l found peace after breaking something l love him so much but l dnt trust him. I want us to be happy but all those things keep on coming back to me. How can I get back my self-confidence cos l have lost it. I feel as if lm not good enough for him. I am desperate for love and attention, am heading for distraction.

  • Laurie Post author

    Dear Isata,

    I can’t tell you if you should leave your husband – but I am sorry you’re experiencing the pain of being cheated on. There is no easy way to get over it.

    If you stay with your husband, you will have to cope with the daily reminder of infidelity and broken trust – but you will have your family together. If you leave your husband because he cheated, then you will break your family up (but your husband broke up the family! Not you.) and you’ll have to start over.

    In the long run, what is best for your children? This is something only you as their mother can decide. What is the best environment for them to grow up in? Remember that your spiritual and emotional health is a huge factor in your children’s happiness and growth. If you aren’t happy, nobody will be happy. If you’re faking love and hiding betrayal and truth in your marriage, they will know.

    What advice would you give your daughter or sister, if she was trying to get over the pain of being cheated on?

  • Laurie Post author

    Thank you, Bamama55, for sharing your story! Your personal experience of how to get over the pain of being cheated on is so valuable, and I’m so glad you commented here. I wove in some of your advice and experience in my article about recognizing a cheating husband, but I changed your name (I just wanted to keep you private):

    11 Signs of a Cheater
    http://www.theadventurouswriter.com/quipstipsrelationships/11-signs-of-a-cheater/

    I really appreciate your encouragement for women to pray and listen to God’s advice. He really is the only one who knows our lives and what we should do – and He really does want the best for us! He loves us deeply, and cheating is never in His plan for us.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  • Bamama55

    My husband cheated one me about 15 years ago and i forgave him and stayed to try work it out. He said he wouldn’t cheat anymore and he said he loves me many times. I started trusting him again and stayed. A few yrs later he was asleep one night and he’s phone was making a sound, and the text he got said: I don’t know when to text you Because I’m afraid your wife might see it! So then from these words i didn’t have to ask him who that was because i knew it was a girl.
    After that it all went down hill for me I knew i couldn’t trust him or believe him anymore! I never really got over the first pain down deep inside of me but i tried and i never brought up the past to him and i let it go because i knew in order to stay together you can’t bring up the past every time you get mad. But now this was another pain he had done to me. Plus he had done other things he shouldn’t have done. I stayed the first time because i believe people can make a mistake and everybody deserves a second chance. But i gave him too many. And that text was the last chance i could not get over! I did leave him the first time but eventually i went back. But after this text that was the last time. I moved out on my own . at first we still talked and stayed friends with benefits if you know what i mean. He would help me or whatever. He always said he wasn’t going through with it with the girl that text him that he decided he wasn’t going to cheat again. But we’ve been married 22 yrs he was all i had n i needed him i thought!
    But after 3yrs I knew i couldn’t trust him deep inside. I finally let him go after he moved into an apt and i suspected he was trying to get with his new neighbor who is much younger then me. I finally got him to admit that he’d had sex with her but later on he tried to lie and say he didn’t but i knew he was lying he’s a good liar i know him by now. Any way that was it for me i wanted to end it.
    People always told me once a cheater always a cheater and i hoped not. But in his case they were right. He is a cheater a liar and a deceiver. So only you can decide no matter what other people tell you, because it’s your life to decide what you think is best for you. But i wanted to share my story and maybe you’ll really think about it before you rush into anything. Your husband may be different; only you truly know him. But sometimes it takes time for us to be strong enough to leave them. Or to decide to stay with them.
    No one can tell you what to do! I can’t tell you either but i can tell you my story and that I’m free of all that worry and stress that a bad relationship can put you through. I wish you well and hope you find your answer. Just know it’s not your fault you didn’t destroy anything the cheaters do ! What ever you decide is okay it’s your life. And pray about it and always talk to God first . he will lead you either way and for your good. Trust God that’s the only person we can trust! He will work it out for your good. It takes time but He will. Trust me He did it for me and he will do it for you what ever it is that you need or whatever you want to do.. Just pray about it and seek His Guidance. He hears you and he knows your pain. Plus he knows what’s best for you!

  • Isata Kromah

    I’ve been married to him for 8years, I know now what kind of man he is, how do I get over the pain of being cheated on?
    A girl write me by saying my husband is cheating on me, i don’t know her
    After I learned what she said is true .one day he called the girl with his phone
    I give him the phone to talk to her, he lied and said that he don’t know her, after he confess that she is just a friend
    I realized the truth and started notice he cheated on me with many girls
    I don’t want to leave him because of my three children. He’s their father and best friend they do many things together. I told my father about it but he said nothing. what can i do now please i need advice about getting over the pain of cheating.