All breakups are painful, but bad breakups need special “how to get over it” tips. The wound from a bad breakup is deeper and takes longer to heal – especially if you don’t have closure.
Read It’s A Breakup – Not A Breakdown: Get Over the Big One and Change Your Life by Lisa Steadman – you need all the help you can get moving forward with your life. Getting over a bad breakup can get the better of you if you don’t surround yourself with help.
If this is your first breakup, you may feel like you’ll never love or laugh again. If it’s your fifth breakup, you may think you’ll never be ready for another relationship because you keep getting hurt. But you have to remember that the more you open yourself up to love and possibility, the happier you’ll be in the long run.
How to Get Over a Bad Breakup
You will heal. Your heart will mend and your body will rise up again. Your spirit will soar!
It just takes time.
Focus on the reasons for the breakup
Filling the void after a bad breakup is easier if you remember that you broke up for a reason. Even if your ex broke up with you and you’re confused by the breakup, there is still a reason behind the breakup. You may not know the reason now – and in fact you may never know why the breakup up happened – but you have to trust that there is a reason you’re not meant to be with this person. Another way to get over a bad breakup is to focus on the great things in your life, the people who love you, your hobbies, your pets, your job. If you don’t enough good things to focus on, consider a few life changes.
Make a clean break
After you’ve broken up with your boyfriend or girlfriend, don’t talk on the phone, meet for coffee, or text each other. Even if you’re thinking of getting back together, make sure you take at least three months off. You need to get over this breakup before considering getting back together. Staying friends with your ex is not a good idea, especially after a bad breakup. It’s better to find your self-identity again – figuring out who you are apart from your relationship.
Avoid the temptation to get revenge
Whether your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend cheated on you, borrowed money and didn’t pay it back, or stole your dog – resist the temptation to get revenge! No matter how bad the breakup was and no matter how much you believe you’ll get over it quicker if you get him back, you’ll only make things worse. Getting revenge only prolongs your connection, and you need to move on in order to move forward and be happy in your life.
Accept that your ex wasn’t “the one”
The best tip on how to get over a bad breakup is to believe that your ex wasn’t meant to be in your life forever. The fact that your breakup was bad is evidence that he isn’t the one. Accept this, flow with it, and trust that the right person will come into your life when you are ready. It may be difficult to see that you broke up for a reason, but you need to accept that the relationship is over. Move on.
Remember that everything happens for a reason
The breakup happened because he wasn’t ready to be in a relationship, or you weren’t ready to be in a relationship, or you two are not good together. For some reason, it was a bad relationship – and you may have been ignoring the signs of a bad relationship.
Sign up for my free weekly "She Blossoms" newsletter
If you’re having trouble letting go, read How to Let Go of Someone You Love. I interviewed psychologists, life coaches, and counselors for their best tips on getting over a breakup.
Take care of yourself
“Whether it’s the best of times or the worst of times, it’s the only time we’ve got,” said Art Buchwald.
Don’t wallow in the misery of a bad breakup. Get up, get over it, dust yourself off, and treat yourself well! You will meet someone who can love you the way you want and need to be loved. Don’t let this bad breakup set you back forever.
For more tips, read How to Stop Thinking About Your Ex and Get On With Your Life.
How will you get over this breakup? I welcome your thoughts below. I can’t offer advice, but you may find it helpful to share you experience and your plans for healing.
She Blossoms Books
Growing Forward When You Can't Go Back