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How to Get Over a Bad Breakup

All breakups are painful, but bad breakups need special “how to get over it” tips. The wound from a bad breakup is deeper and takes longer to heal – especially if you don’t have closure.

How to Get Over a Bad BreakupRead It’s A Breakup – Not A Breakdown: Get Over the Big One and Change Your Life by Lisa Steadman – you need all the help you can get moving forward with your life. Getting over a bad breakup can get the better of you if you don’t surround yourself with help.

If this is your first breakup, you may feel like you’ll never love or laugh again. If it’s your fifth breakup, you may think you’ll never be ready for another relationship because you keep getting hurt. But you have to remember that the more you open yourself up to love and possibility, the happier you’ll be in the long run.

How to Get Over a Bad Breakup

You will heal. Your heart will mend and your body will rise up again. Your spirit will soar!

It just takes time.

Focus on the reasons for the breakup

Filling the void after a bad breakup is easier if you remember that you broke up for a reason. Even if your ex broke up with you and you’re confused by the breakup, there is still a reason behind the breakup. You may not know the reason now – and in fact you may never know why the breakup up happened – but you have to trust that there is a reason you’re not meant to be with this person. Another way to get over a bad breakup is to focus on the great things in your life, the people who love you, your hobbies, your pets, your job. If you don’t enough good things to focus on, consider a few life changes.

Make a clean break

After you’ve broken up with your boyfriend or girlfriend, don’t talk on the phone, meet for coffee, or text each other. Even if you’re thinking of getting back together, make sure you take at least three months off. You need to get over this breakup before considering getting back together. Staying friends with your ex is not a good idea, especially after a bad breakup. It’s better to find your self-identity again – figuring out who you are apart from your relationship.

Avoid the temptation to get revenge

Whether your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend cheated on you, borrowed money and didn’t pay it back, or stole your dog – resist the temptation to get revenge! No matter how bad the breakup was and no matter how much you believe you’ll get over it quicker if you get him back, you’ll only make things worse. Getting revenge only prolongs your connection, and you need to move on in order to move forward and be happy in your life.

Accept that your ex wasn’t “the one”

getting over bad breakup

“How to Get Over a Bad Breakup” image by Laurie

The best tip on how to get over a bad breakup is to believe that your ex wasn’t meant to be in your life forever. The fact that your breakup was bad is evidence that he isn’t the one. Accept this, flow with it, and trust that the right person will come into your life when you are ready. It may be difficult to see that you broke up for a reason, but you need to accept that the relationship is over. Move on.

Remember that everything happens for a reason

The breakup happened because he wasn’t ready to be in a relationship, or you weren’t ready to be in a relationship, or you two are not good together. For some reason, it was a bad relationship – and you may have been ignoring the signs of a bad relationship.

If you’re having trouble letting go, read How to Let Go of Someone You Love. I interviewed psychologists, life coaches, and counselors for their best tips on getting over a breakup.

Take care of yourself

“Whether it’s the best of times or the worst of times, it’s the only time we’ve got,” said Art Buchwald.

Don’t wallow in the misery of a bad breakup. Get up, get over it, dust yourself off, and treat yourself well! You will meet someone who can love you the way you want and need to be loved. Don’t let this bad breakup set you back forever.

For more tips, read How to Stop Thinking About Your Ex and Get On With Your Life.

How will you get over this breakup? I welcome your thoughts below. I can’t offer advice, but you may find it helpful to share you experience and your plans for healing.

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6 thoughts on “How to Get Over a Bad Breakup”

  1. on my way to recovery

    I am still struggling with getting over this bad relationship.. My ex and I have been on and off for the mast 1.5 years… It was a very abusive relationship… Right now I am happy that its over but I feel that pain as for the last 6 years all I knew was how to cope in the abusive relationship. Now that I am free I doubt myself and still cant get past the fact that its over. It was extremely toxic and it ruined me in such a way that I never realized. I thought I was doing everything for my partner.. I changed my habits changed my outlook I stopped going out and acheieving more in life cause all my partner would say about mw trying to achieve more was that I was greedy and wanted more. I would never be satisfied with what I have. It ruined mw so much I stopped myself from buying things going out meeting people accomplishing my goals and being successful…right now we broke up and I feel so stupid for allowing myslef to be the way I did. But I think the most important this is acceptance. I always go back because I was wired to accept the abuse. Now to try and stay away from it I get anxiety and panic attacks. Slowly it will get better… But the good adivise provided above has helped me cope a little bit better.

  2. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I’m glad these tips on how to get over a bad breakup were helpful :-) It’s always great to hear good news.

  3. I’m feeling ,much better after reading this article on how to get over a breakup because I have just broken up with my boyfriend of 6 yrs who has been a control freek only 2 find he has been lying 2 me all these yrs ,he now have a few months daughter with the mother of his 1st child whom he had said 2 they broke up, I feel betrayed and instead of feeling sorry he is still lying and denying his own flesh and blood so that he can still get my full attention, he always angry with me instead and had said that the best way we should break up bcoz our relationship will never be the same again , it’s painful but I have to move on with ,y life and do what’s best for me and my son

  4. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts on how to get over a bad breakup. It takes courage and honesty to say what you feel, and I’m glad you’re here.

  5. Im trying to help my friend get iver his break up and move on but his girlfriend is always coming around and asking random people to text him or whatever and its so frustrating seeing him get upset over it and I tell her to give him some space and she wont listen to me. I want to give him tips from the article so he can get better because she cheated and hurt him but idk what to do and I care about him so much. I hope if I tell him these tip they will help but if anyone has any other tips then I dont find them being sent . Thanks!

  6. The “don’t try to get revenge” tip is one that I’ve always struggled with. For the longest time, I felt if someone hurt me, then they kind of brought revenge on themselves. As I’ve grown and matured over the years, I’ve realized that the only thing getting revenge does is to justify their reason for the breakup in the first place. Yes, it is so tempting and we feel justified in getting revenge, but here’s a better idea – the other people your ex dates, let them get revenge, and later on, your ex will realize, “Hey, Ryan was the only one that didn’t act like a jerk after the breakup….man, did *I* mess up!”

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