These ideas for how to get him back aren’t about manipulations or magic spells. Instead, let’s focus on something more important: rebuilding yourself emotionally and spiritually. The happier and healthier you are, the easier it’ll be to get him back (or to decide that letting him go is a better choice for you!).
In Ignore the Guy, Get the Guy – The Art of No Contact: A Woman’s Survival Guide to Mastering a Breakup and Taking Back Her Power, Leslie Braswell describes how to handle your emotions, how to make him miss you, and what a man secretly expects after a breakup. She describes how to get your confidence back, and warns you of the fatal mistakes that will stop you from getting him back. If you have ever let yourself fall to pieces, cried, and begged a man to take you back after a breakup, then you haven’t learned the power of no contact.
If you wanted to marry him, you may be heartbroken and crushed. It’s all you can do to get out of bed in the morning and drag yourself to work! You might not be able to read about how to get him back, much less learn how to handle yourself around him. That’s why the “no contact” rule is effective and powerful – it allows you time to heal. If you’re destroyed because of the breakup, read When “I Want to Get Married” is All You Can Think. Learn how to let go of destructive thoughts that don’t bring freedom, joy, or peace to your life.
How to Get Him Back
Rebuilding your emotional and spiritual self is the most important tip on how to get him back. You need to get strong, healthy, and centered before you can even think about getting back together or starting a new relationship.
Put the idea of getting back together on the back burner for a little while. Focus on your emotional and spiritual health. Not only will you feel happier and healthier, you’ll be more attractive to other men. You’ll attract friends, invitations, and good things in your life!
Surrender to the breakup
Your relationship wasn’t working. Something was wrong, and the way to resolve the problem was to break up. Maybe it’s a temporary solution or a permanent fix – you won’t know for sure for a while. But right now you must accept that the breakup happened. It is what it is. It won’t help to deny or ignore the breakup, and it definitely won’t help to deny or ignore the problems that led up to the breakup.
If you’re serious about learning how to get him back, you need to surrender to reality. Try to see the breakup objectively, and accept that it was meant to be. It had to happen.
Surrender your life to God
You can’t surrender to the breakup without surrendering your life to something bigger than yourself! Do you believe that God loves you, protects you, and wants to bless you? If you do, then you’ll have an easier time accepting the breakup for what it is.
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God created you, and He loves you more than you’ll ever know. He wants to give you a happy, peaceful, joyful life – but He can’t do that unless you give your life to him. Instead of focusing on how to get your ex back, focus on your spirit and soul.
Trust that your life will unfold exactly as it’s meant to
Right now you’re in pain. All you can think about is how to get him back. You want the comfort of your boyfriend, the security of your relationship, and the peace of feeling attached.
I understand this feeling! I know what it’s like to yearn for the stability and love of a healthy relationship. I was single until I was 35 years old, and I so wanted to get married. I hadn’t had any long-term relationships, and I thought I’d never find the right man.
I half-heartedly trusted God to take care of me. Now that I’m 45 years old and have been married 10 years, I can tell you that you can full heartedly trust Him to bring you the right man. Trust that your life will unfold exactly as it should. It’s not important to think about how to get him back. More importantly, you need to focus on getting your SELF back.
Pursue hope, healing, joy, and peace
Ah, aren’t those the most beautiful words in the English language? Hope. Faith. Joy. Peace. Forgiveness. Freedom. Healing. Love.
No man can bring those qualities to your life. Nobody can – not your boyfriend, your mom, your job, your dog, or your husband. Learning how to get him back won’t fill your life with peace, even if you reunite blissfully today. The only lasting source of true peace, joy, love, and freedom is God. You can have the best relationship in the world, but it can’t fill the hole in your soul. Only Jesus can fill you with light, love, and joy.
How do you fill up with joy and peace? You spend time with God, and you learn practical tips for healing from a breakup. You might find When You Can’t Get Over Your Ex helpful, especially if your breakup happened some time ago.
Cling to what is true, good, and right
What do you think about most often? Is it good, right, and true? I suspect you’re thinking about how to get him back. You may be consumed with thoughts of your ex boyfriend, regrets about the way the relationship ended, and confusion about what to do next.
The best way to know if your thoughts are good for you is to take your emotional temperature. For instance, how do you feel after spending all night thinking about your ex boyfriend? My guess is that you don’t feel good. How do you feel after praying, exercising, playing with your dog, or spending time with children? Probably a lot happier and fulfilled than thinking about how to get your boyfriend back!
Notice your thoughts. When they drift towards things that aren’t good for you, turn them towards ideas that are good, true, and right.
Ask yourself why you want him back
Was your boyfriend loving, kind, respectful, and gentle with you? Is he a good father, friend, son, employee, or family member? Before you get serious about learning how to get him back, ask yourself why you want to be with him again. Did he treat you well? How did you feel about yourself when you were with him?
Sometimes we settle for relationships that aren’t good for us. Sometimes we’re so scared of being alone, we cling desperately to men who aren’t kind or loving. That’s why the most important thing is to get emotionally and spiritually healthy: so you can see with clarity whether or not your ex boyfriend is good for you.
Surrender your heart to God, and He will direct your paths. He knows what’s best for you…all you need to do is stay focused on Him and wait for His guidance.
For more tips on surrender and flow, read Accepting a Breakup – 5 Tips From Pandora’s Box.
I welcome your thoughts on how to get him back below. I know my tips aren’t really about getting him back, but I believe that the first step is to get YOURSELF back. Then you can decide how to get him back – and if he’s worth it.
“Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see Life with a clearer view again.” Alex Tan.