How to Forget Your Ex and Get on With Your Life

If you ask 100 people how to forget your ex after a breakup when you still love him, you’ll get 100 different answers. These five ways to forget your ex boyfriend are the secrets and strategies that worked for me.

You CAN move on and be happy again, especially if you trust and believe. Here’s one way to look at it: Believe that a breakup is a blessing from God. It’s just His way of letting you know that this relationship wasn’t meant to be — and this wasn’t the right man for you. If you can look at your breakup as a blessing, you’re well on your way to forgetting your ex. I know it’s easier said than done – but the truth may be that you’re better off without him.

Accept and surrender. That really is the best way to move on when your heart is broken. Take a deep breath, and know that this breakup happened for a reason. Let him go, for he wasn’t yours.

Give yourself permission to grief and heal. Allow yourself to believe that not only will this pass, you will experience greater things to come in the future! And, know that you are not alone. If you’re a woman of faith, you might enjoy reading 10 Tips for Healing a Broken Heart From Women of the Bible.

Have faith, and know that you will be happier, stronger, and healthier tomorrow. Just get through today, and you will feel better tomorrow. I promise! Especially if you do these things that helped me forgive and forget after a breakup…

5 Ways to Forget Your Ex

Look at this breakup as a new beginning in your life – a chance to heal and learn how to be happy alone. After all, if you can’t be happy alone, then you can’t be happy in a love relationship.

Believe your ex’s behaviors over his words

What lies has your ex been telling you? I don’t necessarily mean malicious lies — maybe he’s scared of intimacy, or commitment, or getting married. Maybe he says he loves you and he wants to spend more time with you and wishes he could leave his wife and he hopes one day you and he will marry – but he doesn’t show you his love by putting you first in his life. You can love him all you want, but if he doesn’t love you or can’t love you…then you need to be strong and move on.

To stop thinking about your ex and get on with your life, you need to believe what he does — not what he says. He can flap his gums forever, but if his actions don’t support his words, then he’s lying to you. And himself.

Give yourself time to forget your ex – it doesn’t happen overnight

“I need this guilt and pain to just go away,” says Callie, a reader who emailed me about her breakup. “I can’t even be happy anymore and it’s been four months, normally after a relationship breakup I’d be getting fine by now, but this is a tremendous hurt for me.” There is no “normal” amount of time for healing – it takes some people years, while others can bounce back more quickly. To get over a breakup when you still love him, focus on what you love about yourself, your life, and your future.

Visualize yourself feeling happy and free and living your best life

To forget your ex after a breakup, you need to let go of the fear that you’ll never find anyone else to love you. I’ve stayed in bad relationships because I was scared I’d never find anyone else, that I was unlovable, that I was too old to start over, that I was too fat to truly fall in love. This wasn’t true for me – and it’s not true for you.

“After such happiness [in my last relationship], I don’t know how to let go and be happy again,” says Anna on my article about dealing with the fear of being alone. “I don’t believe I can find anyone else who will want me and treat me the way he treated me again, I don’t want to. How do I get through this?”

You forget about a breakup by telling yourself that your ex isn’t your last chance at a happy love relationship.

Take a look at your part in the breakup

Usually, love relationships don’t work out because of both partners’ actions, personalities, or beliefs. It’s not often one partner who causes the breakup.

How to Forget Your Ex After a Breakup Blossom

How to Forget Your Ex After a Breakup – and Blossom!

To forget about your ex when you still love him, figure out your role in the relationship. Don’t feel guilty or blame yourself for anything – just accept that your actions may have contributed to how your relationship turned out. Learning how to pick up the pieces of your broken heart is about gaining insight into your own personality.

Here’s what Callie says: “I nagged about receiving some attention from him every now and then, and that’s what led him to leave. I was never mean or hurtful but I just wanted him to try to make it work and I was willing to compromise in any way.”

Callie was willing to look at the part she played in her relationship — but this doesn’t means she caused the breakup! She’s just gaining insight into her personality and life, which can help her start a strong new love relationship.

Get help if you or your ex has emotional issues, such as depression

Psychological or emotional health issues have serious effects on love relationships. If you, your ex, or your current boyfriend are dealing with depression, anxiety, or other issues, I encourage you to talk to a counselor. You don’t necessarily need to get counseling for months or years; even just calling a local help line can help you gain clarity and insight. If you want to heal a broken heart, you need to face your issues head on.

How to Forget Your Ex After a Breakup – and Blossom!In Getting Back Out There: Secrets to Successful Dating and Finding Real Love after the Big Breakup, Susan Elliott helps readers transition from breakups to happy, healthy new relationships.

She offers a proven plan that will help you:

  • Examine past relationships for unfinished business and negative patterns
  • Identify warning signs and red flags
  • Keep your standards and boundaries high, even when you’re head over heels
  • Work through rejection, rebounding, and other bumps in the road
  • Decide when to take a relationship to the next level and when to say goodbye

Sometimes writing about your breakup and why you still love your ex can make you feel better – writing is great therapy. You’re welcome to share your story below! I can’t give advice on how to forget your ex after a breakup, but you may find it helpful to write about your experience.


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14 thoughts on “How to Forget Your Ex and Get on With Your Life”

  1. I left my girlfriend since she was so stressing due to every time disputes and I could no longer beg her over little thing she made get bored up with her and and forgetting her as days go and by time she will be a history to me

  2. No one is trust worthy in this world love urself nd respect urself don’t believe anyone in this world except your parents because their love Is priceless don’t hurt yourself for other’s or hurt them believe in fate whatever happens it is for our good so please friends love urself nd believe in urself don’t depend on others

  3. I just broke up with my boyfriend today. He would talk about his ex all the time, but say he loves me. He would then say his ex girlfriend is better than I am. I loved him. Only God knows how i feel.

  4. I broke up for the second time now with a man I dearly loved. The only way I could date him is to live with him in a state far from home and people I know. He was dependent on an elderly parent, chronically ill and unable to work, and couldn’t even get up until half the afternoon was gone. It was no kind of a life and I was feeling very isolated and confined as a person. Also he had a way of hurting my feelings over many things in life that shouldn’t hurt and I’d be crying a lot of the time. I loved him a lot, but life was depressing and bleak. I wanted more for myself. It will be hard to forget him as we had a deep love, but in the end I needed to be slowly starting a life, and not slowly dying.

  5. I have just recently broken up with my boyfriend he said he wants to focus on his work and family. He is the breadwinner and he thinks his younger siblings need him to guide them because they are mindless. His two brothers got their GFs pregnant but both don’t have any work, his two younger sisters are still studying, his mother is not working. He had a cheated on me because he taught we were not seeing each others before and I keep asking him his plan in life as if he felt I was pushing him too much knowing he didn’t have work that time. I gave him second chance, we got back and unfortunately for 11 yrs I gave him myself, I ask sign that if he will ask sorry and admit his mistakes I will give him myself. When he came home from abroad he went to see me, he hugged me and kissed me so tenderly, I thought that was it the sign I was waiting for.Now, he is going back to abroad for work, I asked him why we aren’t seeing each other anymore ( though we keep texting then) , he said he doesn’t understand himself and even considering not working anymore, his dream is to build his own house, make his mother and siblings happy, he even considered not marrying, he said he wants me to be happy not like him, he wants me to stand on my own and focus on my work. But we will still check on each other, I told him if we are not together anymore it’s not healthy to keep in touch, he then replied, Okay, I won’t communicate for now, and he really did. we even agreed that as a sign of respect for each other we will not be with other people within the year. After I said goodbye on the phone he messaged me reminding about our promise, I said, I can do it, but I don’t think you can, He said I can even 2 years. I feel his lying…I also feel he is going through something..I am so hurt..I can’t help but even hope that we will get back somehow when he starts to work, thinking that he will have lesser burden to think because he will eventually have income again. Pls. let me understand I’m so lost and I don’t want to lose my job, I want also to appreciate other peopl in my life, I don’t know how to spring back from this pain. God bless!

  6. My boyfriend broke up with me because he thinks he can’t give me what I want/need/deserve, and he doesn’t know if he likes me enough to put effort to make it work. He says he is confused and doesn’t want to hurt me anymore, to move on. Seems like I was fighting a losing battle. He started to let me go during our “break”, he didn’t even miss me during that time we hardly talked. Even after all this, I have some hope that he’ll want me back, so it’s making it harder to accept the relationship has ended and to let go. I kept pestering by texting him, trying, in a way, to change his mind. But why do I want to be with someone that doesn’t want me? That won’t put effort in the relationship? I need to build my self-esteem and get some self-respect, stop accepting scraps and begging. I am trying really hard to squash my hope for a reconciliation, to keep a positive mind that this is for the best. The pain is intense, but I’ll survive it, and so will everyone going through a breakup. Time heals everything and we will be stronger in the end.

  7. I won’t have a problem forgetting my ex after this breakup, I did everything to make my girlfriend happy but she just decided that we don’t suit each other. God knows how my heart is weak when it comes to her !!!!!

  8. Loving someone deeply is just a risk, anyways we can’t help it

    Experience is the best teacher… I pray to God that He heals my broken heart and help me live my life fully again, this time “Me First in any relationship, no more over indulgence”

    Almost lost my life over a person…

    Hang in there man and find a way yo live your life fully on your own, do what makes you happy…

    Good luck

  9. I just found out that my boyfriend is married, I felt like I was dying because there were no signs what so ever. He begged ne not to breakup with him and that he is not happy in the marriage, the problem is he doesn’t say that he will leave his wife or not and he suggested that we see each other once a month… I really feel like u should just break up with him but don’t know how to go about it, he’s my first and I’m just not sure how to end this.

  10. My boyfriend had all the actions but his words didn’t match. He showered me with romance and gifts, and attention. As long as we weren’t talking about important things. Like where is this going? Or we lamely tried to break up but maintained an exclusive level boyfriend/girlfriend situation. Daily, multiple texts and emails. I always tried to make it stop and set boundaries. But he kept acting like he really wanted to be with me. And saying that he didn’t. It was and is one of the most confusing experiences I have ever had.

    1. I made the same mistake with my Ex G.F., I actually thought we were doing fine with this “un-designated” relationship until she side blinded me with her saying that I treat her like crop, and she has moved on. I was blown away and went into panic mode, frantically texting, calling, and crying. In the end she was shaking up with this guy, to me she lives with him and she cant read, study, or pray. Meaning that it got really intimate. To top it all off she is heavily involved in the church and various ministries. I’m just blown away. She indirectly blamed me for fornicating – not a chance! All her friend couples are going on 3,4,5, year relationships like this, not married, living in sin. I wonder were her relationship goes, but it was a dude that’s been there in the circle of “christian friends”. I am hurting and have no more tears to cry, but…

      I am confident God protected me from her being that we were to marry next month.

  11. Thank you loveth for your comment about finding peace in God! I agree – and God is the best way to forget your ex after a breakup, especially if you’re still in love with him.