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How to Find a Husband

find good husband

Does it seem like you’ll never meet the right guy? Don’t worry – he’s closer than you think! Read these tips on finding a husband who will treat you like gold.

This article is inspired by a reader whose boyfriend treats her like crap. She has to beg him for money to buy diapers for their baby son, and he wants an “open” relationship so he can fool around without having to make up lies to tell her.

Her boyfriend is greedy and selfish (her words, not mine), and she knows they’ll never get married. She cleans his house, cooks his dinner, takes care of his child, and does whatever he tells her to do.

She wrote more in the comments section of Is Your Husband Cheating? 5 Signs He’s Having an Affair. Read it, because it’ll show you how important it is to deliberately try to find a husband who treats you like gold. Don’t rush into the first relationship you find!

Take your time, because this is the single most important decision you’ll ever make.

How to Find a Husband

It doesn’t matter if you’re 18, 25, or 55 – it’s crucial that you trust your gut instincts and go slow. I didn’t get married until I was 35 years old, and I am so glad I waited! Well, it was God stepping in and blocking me from falling in with guys I wouldn’t be happy with. I have to give credit where credit is due.

Know that you are valuable, lovable, and worthwhile

My first tip on how to find a husband is to know how valuable you are. I don’t know you, but I can tell that you’re smart, curious, motivated, and eager to start a new stage of life (otherwise you wouldn’t be here!).

If you have a strong sense of your own self-worth, you won’t be as likely to fall into relationships with men who aren’t good for you. Or – worse – who abuse you. The more you love and respect yourself, the more likely you’ll find a husband who loves and respects you.

If you need tips on securing a valuable sense of self-identity, please let me know in the comments section below! I’d be happy to write an article for you.

Do you tend to lose yourself when you’re dating? Read How to Be Yourself in Your Relationship – Self-Identity and Love.

Do what you’re passionate about

What do you love to do – what brings you alive? Do that. Go places that make you happy, that make you feel great about life and yourself. Connect with people and activities that challenge and excite you, that make you feel curious and excited and joyful.

Me, I love going to the dog park – and I’m shocked at how many single guys I meet there. It probably helps that I’m married, and feel free to strike up conversations with almost anyone. When I was single, I was scared to talk to single guys. I thought they’d think I was hitting on them. But now, I’m free and happy to talk to whoever I find interesting.

If you want to find a good husband, you need to go where the good guys are. In the comments section below, tell me three places you know you can meet good men, and then tell me when you’re going there to meet them!

Is your relationship in trouble? Get 7 Steps to Fixing Your Marriage from relationship coach Mort Fertel. It's free and helpful, no strings attached.

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For more specific and practical tips on how to find a good husband, read How to Find a Good Boyfriend.

2 thoughts on “How to Find a Husband”

  1. Dear RL,

    It’s really important for you to connect with women who are smart, strong, supportive, and wise! You need guidance in person, you need help making the right decision for you and your baby.

    You are a kind, loving, smart girl — but you can’t save this relationship by yourself. Your boyfriend will never be a good husband unless he chooses to be one…and what are the chances he’ll do that?

    You deserve to be treated with love and respect, and you WILL find a man who will do that — even if you have a child! Finding the right guy isn’t about children, it’s about a soul and personality connection that rises above kids.

    It’s difficult to leave, even if it’s a bad relationship. Your first and most important step is to connect with strong, supportive women who can help you see your options and make the right decisions.

    What do you think?


  2. Hi i have 6 month old baby boy with my bf im 17 and hes 20 so already my situation is complicated as im going to school and have no income. He works and pays rent but doesnt buy me anything i need and barely buys the baby what he needs. However he cant seem to keep his jobs. When we first got together everything was great but for a while now everythings been awful and weve been together for almost 2 yrs and it seems like the emotional abuse is getting worse and worse. I remember he used to always show me love and even stoped smoking weed for me when we first got together but now all he wants to do is smoke and i feel as though that may be why he acts the way he does but im not sure if im making excuses. We fight over everything i cant do anything right and he makes me feel so bad sometimes that i literally cant think and dont know what to do hes made me cry my eyes out so many times with the things he tells me but he just doesnt understand that thats emotional abuse. Lately ive been really insecure to scince when we first got together he was extremely jealouse and always controlling the way i dress and all lovey dovey with me now he seems really distant rarely tries being intimate with me, when we first got together we would do it alot, thats why its so wierd. He never compliments me or shows me he loves me he still tells me but doesnt do anything to prove it. He makes me feel even worse when i notice him looking at other women and then when he says little things like compares me to an old picture of myself or complains that ive gotten to skinny, but how am i suppose to gain weight when the first thing in his mind is weed and then food for the me and him. He has really bad anger issues and i know this is a bad relationship but i just cant seem to leave him. i feel like i wont do any better and i wont find anyone else now that i have a son and like hell change and go back to being how he was before. im scared that itll get violent one day and when i did try to leave him all he did was say no i wasnt leaving him and that i was stupid and all this other stuff .. He makes me feel so insecure and ugly swometimes that ive even began to acuse him of cheating now which has driven him even further away and i just dont know what to do,

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