Remembering that you can’t erase your financial problems is the first tip for coping with money stress in marriage. These examples of turning stress around are from experts – psychologists, counselors, and authors.
Before the tips, a quip:
“Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale.
If you’re married you probably don’t have an empty heart – and all is not lost, no matter how much debt you’re in! One of the most popular books on Amazon.com is The Cure for Money Madness: Break Your Bad Money Habits, Live Without Financial Stress–and Make More Money! — it offers in-depth financial help.
And, here are five tips for money and love matters…
How to Cope With Money Stress in Marriage – 5 Expert Examples
Refuse to see money stress as “just another marriage fight.” All relationships go through hard times – and those hard times can make your marriage better. “If your marriage hits a bump in the road, take the time to communicate what isn’t working to your spouse,” says psychologist Nancy O’Reilly. “A relationship blossoms when a couple ‘troubleshoots’ their money stress together.” Though it takes time and effort to develop good communication skills, it’s the best thing you can do for your marriage. Money stress can help build a strong foundation in marriage – especially if you use it as an opportunity to talk and grow closer.
Don’t try to solve all your money problems at once. If you’re dealing with credit card debt, mortgage payments, student loan debt, and other sources of money stress in marriage – avoid the temptation to tackle it all at once. Instead, figure out your most pressing source of money stress and brainstorm ten ways to cope with it.
Your solutions can range from practical (“We’ll stop eating out twice a week, so we have more money to pay off our credit card debt,”) to impractical (“We’ll pray every night for a rich uncle to show up with numbers to our new Swiss bank account.”). Have fun with it – because one of the best money and love tips is to add a dose of humor and lightheartedness.
Get professional help to solve a financial crisis. After an accident, Mary’s husband ended up on disability and only received a small monthly stipend. They worried about not paying the mortgage and losing their house. Mary lost sleep, and struggled to care for her two young children.
How did she cope with her money stress? She talked to psychologist Bruce Eimer, who says, “We brainstormed together, and she developed an idea for a home-based business that allowed her to do what she loved and earn money. She started small, and quickly acquired more customers than she could handle.” Seeking professional help and starting a business weren’t easy tasks – but they turned Mary’s life around.
Stop procrastinating – start coping with money stress today. “Deep down, we usually know what we need to do to take care of stressful situations,” says Christine Hohlbaum, author of The Power of Slow: 101 Ways to Save Time in Our 24/7 World. “But we procrastinate, ignore problems, or become paralyzed by indecision – which leads to even more stress.”
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Taking even the smallest steps towards coping with money stress in marriage can help you feel more powerful and self-confident. Remember that thoughts become action – which means that thinking about these money and love tips could be the first step towards successfully coping with money stress in marriage.
Don’t resist your money stress – use your energy to find solutions. “A natural and common response to stress is to try to resist it,” says Dr Jay Winner, author of Take the Stress Out of Your Life: A Medical Doctor’s Proven Program to Minimize Stress and Maximize Health. “Instead, use your energy to succeed.”
Winner describes Sally, who kept thinking, “I’m so stressed out!” The more she resisted her feelings, the worse they became. How did Sally turn her money stress around? She kept repeating “I have a high energy level.” Winner says, “Instead of fighting the adrenaline, use it to create solutions to your problems.”
Are you unhappy in your relationship? Get 7 Steps to Fixing Your Marriage and FREE relationship advice from Mort Fertel, founder of the Marriage Fitness Program.
How do you cope with money stress in marriage? Comments welcome below…
Laurie's "She Blossoms" Books
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