It’s not working out with your boyfriend, but you can’t take another failed relationship. Here are a few tips on overcoming feelings of failure and disappointment.
In True Love; Breaking the Cycle of Failed Relationships, Rhonda Fried shares how to assess a healthy relationship and helps you identify past mistakes in choosing a partner so you don’t make them again. If you don’t want to cope with yet another failed relationship, you need to start setting yourself up for a healthy, happy connection with another person.
Here’s Bethany’s story about trust and failed relationships; she commented on my article Is Your Husband Cheating? 5 Signs He’s Having an Affair.
“My boyfriend has been talking to other girls on Facebook, one being my so called best friend. Their conversations are about sex. When I ask if he’s cheating, he denies it. The funny thing is that he was cheating on his ex with me when we got together, so I don’t trust him or any guy. Every boyfriend that I have ever been with has cheated on me. Me and my boyfriend are closing our personal Facebook profiles, and I made one just for us. He hasn’t even been on it yet. I don’t get how guys can be so messed up. In one way, I don’t want to leave him because both my kids have different dads and I always wanted to make sure I was with the father of my kids. My oldest daughter’s father cheated on me five times. Please give me some advice.”
I’d be happy to share my thoughts…but you might not like them. Consider yourself warned! I want you to be healthy and happy, but I think you need to hear some hard stuff first.
How to Cope With Yet Another Failed Relationship
I like Ron Reagan’s advice to “Trust, but verify” because it balances open-heartedness and hope with a healthy dose of reality. How does this quip help you overcome feelings of failure in love? By giving you a foundation that will help you start over.
Trust men, but be clever and wise before you get into another relationship.
Take responsibility for your choices in men
Why do you keep choosing men who aren’t good for you? There are millions of good, strong, kind, gentle, loving, honorable men in the world. Your relationships keep failing because you haven’t found a man who is a good match for you. You knew he was a cheater when you met him, but you ignored the red flags and warning signs.
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It’s your choices in men that keep leading to failed relationships. One of the first steps to getting healthy is to learn how to stop choosing the wrong men.
Get emotionally, spiritually, and physically healthy
Many women struggle to find healthy men to love because of their past relationships and experiences. I don’t know why your relationships keep failing, but it has something to do with your choices in men. You keep choosing men who cheat on you, or lie to you, or don’t give you what you need. It’s not your fault that men do these things, but you need to know you aren’t passive, weak, or powerless!
The stronger and healthier you are as a woman, the better able you’ll be to find relationships that don’t fail – and attract men who aren’t weak, disrespectful, disgusting a$$holes. The best way to heal from yet another failure in love is to rebuild yourself from the ground up. Start building your self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-image. I need to write a Quips and Tips article on getting emotionally healthy!
For now, read How to Be Happy Single.
Learn from your failed relationships
Don’t stay in a bad relationship with a man who cheats just because you want your kids to have a dad! That is the worst role model you could offer them. Your kids will grow up to do the same thing you’re doing: staying in a failure of a relationship because you don’t think you deserve better. You think this is as good as it gets – but you’re wrong.
You can do better than your past failures in love. You are a valuable, smart, loving woman who deserves to be in a happy, healthy relationship. Use your failures to create a life you are proud of!
If you want to start dating again, read How Long to Wait Before Starting a New Relationship.
Your thoughts are welcome below! I don't give advice, but you can get free relationship help from marriage coach Mort Fertel.
“Trust, but verify.” – Ronald Reagan.