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How to Cope With Yet Another Failed Relationship

It’s not working out with your boyfriend, but you can’t take another failed relationship. Here are a few tips on overcoming feelings of failure and disappointment.

relationship failureIn True Love; Breaking the Cycle of Failed Relationships, Rhonda Fried shares how to assess a healthy relationship and helps you identify past mistakes in choosing a partner so you don’t make them again. If you don’t want to cope with yet another failed relationship, you need to start setting yourself up for a healthy, happy connection with another person.

Here’s Bethany’s story about trust and failed relationships; she commented on my article Is Your Husband Cheating? 5 Signs He’s Having an Affair.

“My boyfriend has been talking to other girls on Facebook, one being my so called best friend. Their conversations are about sex. When I ask if he’s cheating, he denies it. The funny thing is that he was cheating on his ex with me when we got together, so I don’t trust him or any guy. Every boyfriend that I have ever been with has cheated on me. Me and my boyfriend are closing our personal Facebook profiles, and I made one just for us. He hasn’t even been on it yet. I don’t get how guys can be so messed up. In one way, I don’t want to leave him because both my kids have different dads and I always wanted to make sure I was with the father of my kids. My oldest daughter’s father cheated on me five times. Please give me some advice.”

I’d be happy to share my thoughts…but you might not like them. Consider yourself warned! I want you to be healthy and happy, but I think you need to hear some hard stuff first.

How to Cope With Yet Another Failed Relationship

I like Ron Reagan’s advice to “Trust, but verify” because it balances open-heartedness and hope with a healthy dose of reality. How does this quip help you overcome feelings of failure in love? By giving you a foundation that will help you start over.

Trust men, but be clever and wise before you get into another relationship.

Take responsibility for your choices in men

Why do you keep choosing men who aren’t good for you? There are millions of good, strong, kind, gentle, loving, honorable men in the world. Your relationships keep failing because you haven’t found a man who is a good match for you. You knew he was a cheater when you met him, but you ignored the red flags and warning signs.

It’s your choices in men that keep leading to failed relationships. One of the first steps to getting healthy is to learn how to stop choosing the wrong men.

Get emotionally, spiritually, and physically healthy

Many women struggle to find healthy men to love because of their past relationships and experiences. I don’t know why your relationships keep failing, but it has something to do with your choices in men. You keep choosing men who cheat on you, or lie to you, or don’t give you what you need. It’s not your fault that men do these things, but you need to know you aren’t passive, weak, or powerless!

coping with relationship failure

“How to Cope With Yet Another Failed Relationship” image by Oceano_vox_Howl via DeviantArt

The stronger and healthier you are as a woman, the better able you’ll be to find relationships that don’t fail – and attract men who aren’t weak, disrespectful, disgusting a$$holes. The best way to heal from yet another failure in love is to rebuild yourself from the ground up. Start building your self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-image. I need to write a Quips and Tips article on getting emotionally healthy!

For now, read How to Be Happy Single.

Learn from your failed relationships

Don’t stay in a bad relationship with a man who cheats just because you want your kids to have a dad! That is the worst role model you could offer them. Your kids will grow up to do the same thing you’re doing: staying in a failure of a relationship because you don’t think you deserve better. You think this is as good as it gets – but you’re wrong.

You can do better than your past failures in love. You are a valuable, smart, loving woman who deserves to be in a happy, healthy relationship. Use your failures to create a life you are proud of!

If you want to start dating again, read How Long to Wait Before Starting a New Relationship.

Is your relationship in trouble? Get 7 Steps to Fixing Your Marriage from relationship coach Mort Fertel. It's free and helpful, no strings attached.

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“Trust, but verify.” – Ronald Reagan.

5 thoughts on “How to Cope With Yet Another Failed Relationship”

  1. Dear Mandy,

    I’m sad for you, that you’re with a man who hits you. It sounds like you’re very unhappy with him, but you feel stuck because you don’t have money to leave. I’m sorry you feel this way, and I hope you can get the help you need to change your life.

    Who can you reach out to in person, to support your wish to leave him? Maybe I should ask first — do you want to leave him?


  2. I’m in a relationship for 5years have 2 kids and I get spoken to horibly.doesn’t appreciate me.isn’t affectionate.does wat he wants at times hit me.I don’t ern enough to leave even thou I want to cause I deserve better almost cheated on him aswell cause he isn’t there as a man for me .he thinks that buying stuff is all wat I need.sick of this.

  3. Hi Lianda, I don’t know about you, but I’ve made many mistakes over and over in the name of love! My reader may have made a choice you don’t respect, but I’m willing to bet we’ve all made choices we regret. Thanks for your comment about lessons being repeated until we learn what we need to learn, though. I definitely agree with that! :-)

    Thanks Katrina, I appreciate your thoughts. I’m looking forward to visiting your blog and seeing what you’re the chef of :-)

  4. You gave excellent advice to a needy woman with low self-esteem. The thing that stands out the most for me is: she met this guy when he was cheating on someone else. DUH! All lessons will be repeated until learned!
    You have to be the kind of person you want to meet. Don’t cheat – SHE was cheating by going out with someone who was attached. Make ethical choices, and stick to them.
    Good blog-

  5. Wow! Powerful, blunt and all true. Don’t stay in a relationship if it is not healthy for you. I have been in a couple of relationships and I have to remind myself that it takes two to tango.
    Mistakes are made but becoming self aware is a big step in finding your soul mate. Thank you for this great post!

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