Learning how to be happy single – even if you’d rather be in a relationship – is the key to health and well-being. Finding happiness without being in a relationship is the foundation of a healthy, happy relationships with other people.
Single: The Art of Being Satisfied, Fulfilled and Independent by Judy Ford is an excellent book to read if you’re struggling with unhappiness when you’re single. And here’s one of my favorite quotes for single women: “Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty sexy and you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.” – unknown.
Being single is not a curse – it’s something to be grateful for and enjoy. You can chose to see being unattached as a lonely time spent anxiously waiting for “Mr. Right.” Or, you can chose to view being single as an opportunity to have a love affair with the most important person in your life…you. That’s how to be happy single.
This article on how to be happy single is a guest post from Sydney Tyler Thomas. She’s a writer and small business owner in Virginia. She is single – and yes, she is happy. Pour a glass of wine, and savor these five tips on how to be happy single (which, ultimately, will help you learn how to find true love and happiness). You’ll feel grateful for the breakup, and see your life and relationships in a different light.
How to Be Happy Single
Have you ever noticed that single people think they’d be happier married, while many married people secretly (or not so secretly) think they’d be happy single?
If you recently broken up with someone you love, you may feel confused, angry, anxious, and fearful about what lies ahead. You may have forgotten how to be happy single and unattached.
1. Enjoy your freedom to go, do, be, and say anything and everything
One of the best tips on how to be happy single is freedom. Your time is your own. So is your money and your home. With no one to answer to or be accountable to, you can come and go as you please. You can schedule activities in advance, or not. You can make a plan and stick with it, or be spontaneous and change your mind at the last minute. You can come home after a hard day at work and fix a gourmet meal, or eat cold pizza right out of the box. You can let the laundry pile up and watch movies instead of cleaning the bathroom.
If you’re just coming out of a long-term relationship, it may take a while to appreciate your newfound freedom. If you are not happy single, try making a list of some of the things you wanted to do but couldn’t when you were in a relationship. Start doing some of them now!
If you’ve recently been blindsided by a relationship breakup, read How to Get Over a Bad Break Up.
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2. Be glad you don’t have to visit his friends and family
If you had good relationships with your ex’s friends and family, you were lucky. But, if you didn’t enjoy spending time with your ex’s friends of family, you can relax and enjoy doing what you want with who you want. Here’s how to be happy single: imagine spending your holidays and vacations doing what you want without negotiation or compromising. No more arguing or negotiating about which family to visit for Christmas or Thanksgiving this year. You don’t have to host drunken football parties or weekly poker nights (unless of course they were your idea in the first place!). This tip on how to be happy single will help you re-evaluate how you spend your time.
3. Forget those annoying habits (one of the best tips on how to be happy single)
Did your ex snore like a freight train? Did s/he leave dirty clothes and wet towels on the bathroom floor waiting for you to pick them up? Are you a neat freak who somehow ended up with a slob who couldn’t ever seem to throw anything away? Do you love scented candles while your ex found fragrances annoying? Did you give up on watching TV because the channel-switching was driving you crazy? Now that you’re single, the only annoying habits you’ll have to deal with are your own. And, chances are you don’t find them as annoying as your ex’s were.
4. Welcome the serenity that comes with being single
Even the easiest breakups can be stressful, particularly in the weeks, months, and sometimes years leading up to the end of the relationship. Once you’ve given yourself a chance to cope with the breakup, you’ll welcome the serenity that settles in. No more arguments, challenges, negotiations, or fights. Perhaps you were feeling used, taken advantage of, or abused in some way in your relationship. If you’re don’t think you’ll ever learn how to be happy single, remember that life is easier when the only person you’re accountable to is yourself.
5. Take this opportunity to reinvent your dating life
One of the best tips on how to be happy single – particularly after a bad breakup – is the chance to reinvent your dating life. You’ve had a chance to learn more about what you don’t want in a partner, and chances are you’ve learned a lot more about yourself, your needs, and your desires. Some of these revelations may have come from lessons learned during the course of your relationship, but many others will become clearer as you spend more time being single. To be happy, celebrate the opportunity to experiment with dating people who are different from your former partner, whose values and temperament are more aligned with the person you’ve become.
Being single can be a great chapter in your life. You may not remain single forever, so be sure to learn how to love yourself now. Or, ignore everything we said, take another slug of wine, and figure out how to get your ex back!
I welcome your thoughts on how to be single even if you’d rather be in a relationship. Feel free to vent, cry, stomp your feet, and be bitter. It’s all welcome here. I can’t give you advice on how to be happy single, but sometimes it helps to write about how you feel.
This article was also published on my other blog – How Love Blossoms – and appropriately but unimaginatively called How to Be Happy Single.
Your thoughts are welcome below! I don't give advice, but you can get free relationship help from marriage coach Mort Fertel.