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How to Enjoy Being Single

“How you do one thing is how you do everything,” says Father Richard Rohr. What does this have to do with learning how to be happy single? Everything! If you’re unhappy being single, then you’re unhappy doing everything. And if you’re unhappily living your life, you’re emanating waves of displeasure and dissatisfaction.

Not only does your unhappiness affect you, it affects others. And that will keep you firmly fixed in your single state.

“Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty sexy and you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.” – unknown.

Being single is not a curse – it’s something to be grateful for and enjoy. You can chose to see being unattached as a lonely time spent anxiously waiting for “Mr. Right.” Or, you can chose to view being single as an opportunity to have a love affair with the most important person in your life…you. That’s how to be happy single.

This article on how to be happy single is a guest post from Sydney Tyler Thomas. She’s a writer and small business owner in Virginia. She is single – and yes, she is happy. Pour a glass of wine, and savor these five tips on how to be happy single (which, ultimately, will help you learn how to find true love and happiness). You’ll feel grateful for the breakup, and see your life and relationships in a different light.

How to Be Happy Single

Have you ever noticed that single people think they’d be happier married, while many married people secretly (or not so secretly) think they’d be happy single?

If you recently broken up with someone you love, you may feel confused, angry, anxious, and fearful about what lies ahead.  You may have forgotten how to be happy single and unattached.

1. Enjoy your freedom to go, do, be, and say anything and everything

One of the best tips on how to be happy single is freedom. Your time is your own. So is your money and your home. With no one to answer to or be accountable to, you can come and go as you please. You can schedule activities in advance, or not. You can make a plan and stick with it, or be spontaneous and change your mind at the last minute. You can come home after a hard day at work and fix a gourmet meal, or eat cold pizza right out of the box.  You can let the laundry pile up and watch movies instead of cleaning the bathroom.

If you’re just coming out of a long-term relationship, it may take a while to appreciate your newfound freedom.  If you are not happy single, try making a list of some of the things you wanted to do but couldn’t when you were in a relationship. Start doing some of them now!

If you’ve recently been blindsided by a relationship breakup, read How to Get Over a Bad Break Up.

2. Be glad you don’t have to visit his friends and family

If you had good relationships with your ex’s friends and family, you were lucky.  But, if you didn’t enjoy spending time with your ex’s friends of family, you can relax and enjoy doing what you want with who you want. Here’s how to be happy single: imagine spending your holidays and vacations doing what you want without negotiation or compromising.  No more arguing or negotiating about which family to visit for Christmas or Thanksgiving this year.  You don’t have to host drunken football parties or weekly poker nights (unless of course they were your idea in the first place!). This tip on how to be happy single will help you re-evaluate how you spend your time.

3. Forget those annoying habits (one of the best tips on how to be happy single)

Did your ex snore like a freight train?  Did s/he leave dirty clothes and wet towels on the bathroom floor waiting for you to pick them up? Are you a neat freak who somehow ended up with a slob who couldn’t ever seem to throw anything away? Do you love scented candles while your ex found fragrances annoying?  Did you give up on watching TV because the channel-switching was driving you crazy? Now that you’re single, the only annoying habits you’ll have to deal with are your own. And, chances are you don’t find them as annoying as your ex’s were.

4. Welcome the serenity that comes with being single

how to be happy single
“How to be Happy Single” image by Laurie

Even the easiest breakups can be stressful, particularly in the weeks, months, and sometimes years leading up to the end of the relationship. Once you’ve given yourself a chance to cope with the breakup, you’ll welcome the  serenity that settles in.  No more arguments, challenges, negotiations, or fights.  Perhaps you were feeling used, taken advantage of, or abused in some way in your relationship. If you’re don’t think you’ll ever learn how to be happy single, remember that life is easier when the only person you’re accountable to is yourself.

5. Take this opportunity to reinvent your dating life

One of the best tips on how to be happy single – particularly after a bad breakup – is the chance to reinvent your dating life. You’ve had a chance to learn more about what you don’t want in a partner, and chances are you’ve learned a lot more about yourself, your needs, and your desires. Some of these revelations may have come from lessons learned during the course of your relationship, but many others will become clearer as you spend more time being single.  To be happy, celebrate the opportunity to experiment with dating people who are different from your former partner, whose values and temperament are more aligned with the person you’ve become.

Being single can be a great chapter in your life.  You may not remain single forever, so be sure to learn how to love yourself now. Or, ignore everything we said, take another slug of wine, and figure out how to get your ex back!

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3 thoughts on “How to Enjoy Being Single”

  1. No one important

    I feel like it’s more easier to accept singleness when a person has friends, family , and supportive people in their life for that season. They will be able to help them spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally (if they love them unconditional). I hear this statement often: “God is there for you”; especially, to singles. Not everyone experiences the same experience as singles and believers of God. How am I suppose to accept that statement? I can’t even process it. For one, being an introvert and two, it doesn’t seem like it applies to me. Some people can have an intimate relationship with God to get through life experiences. It’s hard for me! I’m constantly trying to figure out if God will abandoned me too. My biological father is walked out of my family and I’s life, only to be fighting us. I don’t have anyone to turn to ,but my clinical doctors.Does anyone know how it feels to be this way? –You have no idea who to call and talk to about your heartache? You don’t know if God will answer today, tomorrow, or never. At times, I get jealous of people with their loved ones. I want to know how it feels to be loved. I avoid church and some social events because I can’t relate to love and relationships. All I know how to do is work hard. Outside of “work and business”, everything regarding relationships and fellowships is foreign, scary, weird, and intimidating. I feel like I keep losing in life. I talk to and help people everyday; however , I still feel like an outcast and reject inside. It’s like I am there for people and no one is there for me. It’s like I’m suffering in silence and no one can detect it. I feel like disappearing forever. I feel like it’s too late for happiness. I’m tired and worn. I have helped many people and I still don’t feel like I have discovered who I am as a creation and why I was created in the first place. How can helping people help me? I’m still in the same state. I just don’t care anymore. My pain is my pain , right? Hoping for the best…can that ever happen to me?

  2. Dear Adachi,

    How do you feel about stepping in to help heartbroken people? If you’re finding meaning and purpose in helping this way, then I don’t think it’s wrong.

    Why do you think it’s wrong? What is feeling “off” to you? I believe that if this helps you to be happy single – and it helps other people – then there isn’t anything wrong with it. But, I don’t know the full story! And you do.

  3. i know this seems counterproductive but I need to ask somthing. Is it bad for me to sit in the dark? (metaphoriacly speaking of course) I mean, I absolutly refuse to be a social person, but I step in to help heartbroken people of the opposite gender. For example, my ex whom i still love gets cheated on and comes to me for comfort, and I did. is this wrong of me?

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