Attracting the man you really want to be with is about being charming and irresistible – which is easier than you think, no matter what you look like!
The first tip for being charming is to get on your own side. Why? Because…
“We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies.” ~ Roderick Thorp.
If you’re not your own best friend, then won’t attract the man you want because he’ll sense that you don’t like yourself. And if you don’t like yourself, then you can’t charm him.
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While you’re waiting for the book, here are a few tips for charming the man you want to attract…
How to Attract the Man You Really Want to Be With
I’ve rounded up a few tips for being irresistible and charming from sources I like and respect. So even though Cosmo magazine comes up as number one in a “how to be irresistible” search, I have not included a single tip from them about how to attract the man you want. They think physical appearance is what makes a woman attractive to men, but they’re wrong.
Here’s how to be irresistible in love, at work, or even in your family relationships. Attracting the man you want and love is about being charming, which is far more important than exuding sex appeal.
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To be charming, be kind
“Be kind to yourself and others,” writes Christopher Foster of The Happy Seeker in How to Be Irresistible at Any Age. “Sometimes, caught up in some important task, we put undue pressure on ourselves or another. It’s important to be kind and gracious to everything and everyone we meet. It is not weak to be kind. It is a mark of true character – it reveals the love at the core of our being.
Being kind sounds sorta corny and extremely easy, but it’s rare! When was the last time you met someone who was truly kind, sweet, and nice? If you want to attract the man you really want, you need to soften up.
To be irresistible, take healthy risks in life
The more healthy, calculated risks you take, the more charming and attractive you’ll be to the man you want. Why? Because happy, fulfilled, excited people are irresistible!
What’s a healthy, calculated risk? Take courses in subjects you know nothing about, but that interest you. Start taking music lessons – I recently took up the flute, and love it! Aren’t I irresistible? Take weekend trips by yourself, or with a MeetUp group. Listen to your gut, and say and do things that occur to you (instead of ignoring your instincts). Let go of your expectations. Don’t tie yourself down to a particular outcome: a perfect family, the best job in the city, or the lowest weight on the scale in your gym. Be open to all possible outcomes – some of which could be different and even better than the ones you originally wanted!
To attract the man you want, project the right image
“Are you sane, balanced, settled, with both feet on the ground and your head on your shoulders?” writes Dr Tracy in For Women: How to Attract a Man. “Or are you scattered and neurotic, without any stability in your life? Would a man feel safe marrying you, allowing you to use his credit cards, write checks from his checkbook, and most importantly making you the mother of his children? Would he feel safe leaving his children with you? … When a sane man picks a wife, he picks a sane woman. He wants someone he can take home to his mother without being disowned for life. He wants someone he can take around his business associates without losing business. He wants someone he can depend on. When you’re ready to get serious, tone down your most outrageous behaviors and show him your responsible side. Let a man see that you are the type of woman he can make a life with.”
Isn’t that one of the best tips for attracting the man you really want? I think so.
If you’re not sure if you’re ready to settle down, read How to Know If You’re Ready for a New Relationship.
To stay attractive, brag to friends in your partner’s hearing
This tip is for women who have already attracted the men they want, and who want to keep their love fresh and vibrant. The more positive and sincerely appreciative you are, the more charming and irresistible men will find you.
“Of course you should tell your mate to his or her face how much you care, but also be sure to tell your friends, while your mate is around, what a great guy or gal you married,” says says Tina B. Tessina in How to Be Irresistible to Your Mate. “Harold is so thoughtful. Today he helped me around the house.” Or “Sue is such a great mom. She really gives the kids a sense that they’re loved and she still keeps them toeing the mark.” Or, “Did you hear? Fred got a big promotion. I’m so proud of him.” Or, “I don’t know what I’d do without Judy. She’s so great with money.” Or “Doesn’t my sweetie look great today? I’m so lucky.” Don’t worry if your partner looks embarrassed. He or she will also be pleased, and remember your brag for a long time. (adapted from Money, Sex and Kids: © Tina B.Tessina, 2006)
If you struggle with body image issues, read Tips From Women Who Are Happy With the Way Their Bodies Look.
And if you have any tips or thoughts about being irresistible and attracting the man you want, please comment below…