Whether it’s a relationship break up or a loved one’s death, you’ll find help for when you’re broken hearted here. I start with hope, and end with practical help for healing hearts.
In Comfort: A Journey Through Grief, Ann Hood shares her personal story of losing her five year old daughter Grace. Talk about broken hearted – losing a child is the worst sorrow a parent can know. Ann guides us through her journey of grief – from the numbing shock and death’s devastating aftermath. She describes how her daughter’s death affects her as a mother, what it means to her family, her sense of spirituality, her marriage, and her every day life as she knew it then and knows it now.
I was inspired to offer help for the broken hearted because of a comment on How to Cope When Your Husband Leaves You for Her. Michelle said, “Thank you! I’m living with a broken heart and every day I have to smile for my kids and be professional at work. There is a sadness at the pit of my stomach and I pray for strength!”
We all live with wounds and broken hearts. If we don’t nurture our wounds and look for help when we’re broken hearted, we become shells. Unfeeling, unthinking robots who can’t reach out for comfort or love. Some of us allow bitterness and cynicism to overcome us.
It’s time to take care of your broken heart.
Help for When You’re Broken Hearted
In 25 Tips for Fixing a Broken Heart, a therapist shares practical ways to heal and move on with your life. My tips are more emotional and spiritual, though I do offer a few practical tips.
Hold on to your hope
One day you will heal, and you will feel better! The pain will become less raw, and your heart will be less numb. You’ll start to breathe deeply again. You’ll have more energy, and you’ll find yourself smiling and even laughing. You’ll surprise yourself!
Take heart, for you’re already on the road to healing. How do I know? Because you’re searching for help for when you’re broken hearted. This means you want to move forward. You want to let go of the pain and start feeling joyful again. You want to live again.
Listen to stories of loss
One of the most helpful things I experienced after my sister told me she didn’t want to have any more contact with me was learning that other families experienced estrangement. I’m not the only one who has a sister who made a decision to cut all ties. I’m not alone in my grief and loss.
Hearing stories of similar types of loss can help you heal when you’re broken hearted. Other people can show you that you’re not alone. Your experience is painful and unique, but it’s also shared by other human beings. That’s why I shared Comfort: A Journey Through Grief at the beginning of this article.
In How to Let Go of Someone You Love, I share stories of people who’ve experienced painful breakups, divorces, and deaths. Read it for help for when you’re broken hearted because of a relationship break up.
Try something new to heal your broken heart
It took me a long, long time to visit my sister’s daughters after she cut me out of her life. I didn’t know what my sister told them about me – especially since there was nothing to say! I didn’t do anything to harm my sister. When I finally screwed up my courage and visited my nieces, I found healing. They shared their perspective about their mom and her life, and I learned that it wasn’t me. This was the best help I ever could’ve found for when I was broken hearted: the discovery that the estrangement wasn’t my fault.
Do you know some way to help yourself when you’re broken hearted? Maybe you tried counseling in the past and it worked, but you haven’t sought a therapist this time. Maybe you’ve been invited to join a support group or therapy weekend, but it’s out of your comfort zone. Maybe you know you need to accept and surrender to your loss, but you need help.
Check in with your body
They key to finding help for when you’re broken hearted is to listen to your body. Your body knows what you need. It’s up to you to nurture, care for, and stretch yourself physically and emotionally, even though you’d rather sit in your grief.
Take five minutes to check in with your body. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and tune in to your feet. Are they sore or tired? Maybe you need a foot massage or an Epsom salt bath. Next, check in with your legs. How do they feel? Keep your eyes closed, your breathing deep and even. Check in with your tummy. Are you stuffed full of food, or hungry? Think about the last time you ate. Was it nutritious and life giving? Next, check in with your heart. Yes, you’re broken hearted…but what help do you need? Ask your heart. Check in with your whole body. Are you exhausted emotionally? Maybe you have no energy because of lack of sleep or healthy food.
A full body check-in will offer help for when you’re broken hearted by helping you identify what your body needs. Your body is wise and wants to take care of your soul. Let it.
If checking in with your body isn’t your cup of tea, read Words of Comfort When Your Heart is Broken.
Give yourself time to grieve your loss
Then, start stretching yourself. Go out once or twice a week, call that counselor or friend who wants to go for coffee. Don’t wait until you feel like interacting with the world, for that time may never come. Instead, gently push yourself out of your nest.
You’ll know when it’s time to stand still and when it’s time to take action, if you listen to your body, heart, mind, and soul. Honor yourself by seeking the right type of help when you’re broken hearted.
Connect with the source of your life
Maybe God is a new way to find help when you’re broken hearted, or maybe you’re aware that He’s been there the whole time. Maybe you’re not talking to God because He let you down. Worse, you may feel He actually caused the bad thing to happen to you.
Talk to God about it. Blame Him, yell at Him, curse Him. Share even the most despicable thoughts and feelings with Him. He can take it! How will this help when you’re broken hearted? Expressing your rage, disappointment, and grief will help you process the pain you feel. Let it all out. Don’t hold it in.
Writing, yelling, screaming, painting, exercising, praying, and being with animals are awesome ways to connect with God. He is the only thing that can fill the emptiness. He is in control of your life, and He loves you. Why not surrender to Him?
Force yourself to participate in life
When you’re broken hearted, the last thing you want to do is be with people. You don’t care about taking classes, volunteering, traveling, or meeting new people. You don’t care about anything but the person you lost. You have no energy to make small talk or try new things. You just want to curl up and nurse your broken heart.
When my grandma died, I didn’t seek help for my broken heart. Instead, I slept. My body, heart, and soul needed to escape. Eventually I came through my grief and started participating in life again…but first all I wanted to do was sleep.
“Logic will get you from A to B,” said Albert Einstein. “Imagination will take you everywhere.” Perhaps what you imagine will help you when you’re broken hearted may not seem logical or rational…but it could be the best thing you could ever do for yourself.
I welcome your thoughts on my help for when you’re broken hearted. I can’t offer advice or counseling, but it may help you to share your experience.
If your marriage has taken a downturn, read How to Take Care of Yourself After a Divorce.
May you find comfort, hope, and healing in God. Listen for His voice, and He will lead you towards safe pastures, still waters, and abundant joy.