This interview with the author of the first Hells Angels book offers hope for women in abusive relationships. Here, Kerri Krysko describes what it was like to leave not only a difficult man, but a destructive lifestyle.

abusive relationships hells angel book If your husband or boyfriend is manipulative or controlling, read Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft. You’ll learn the early warning signs, nine abusive personality types, and how to tell if an abuser can change, is changing, or ever will change. You’ll also learn about the role of drugs and alcohol, what can and can’t be fixed in abusive relationships, and how to leave a relationship safely.

Above all, remember that you’re not alone. 5 Stages of Leaving an Abusive Relationship is one of my most popular articles. You CAN break free and start fresh – whether you’re in a relationship with a Hells Angel control freak or a mild-mannered computer geek.

In her book about living with the Hells Angels – Kerri On: A Memoir of a Hells Angels Ex-Wife – she reveals what it’s like to be the wife of a Hells Angel gang member. Her self-published memoir describes how she got trapped in a dynamic cycle of abuse and power. It’s a Hells Angels book that isn’t just about gangs, power, and abuse. It’s about strength, courage, and survival.

“I am the first woman to write a book about being with a notorious Hells Angel, but I also write with a true heart,” said Kerri in “Memoirs of a Hells Angels Wife”, a recent newspaper article about this Hell’s Angels book. “I didn’t write to hurt people or tell secrets or sensationalize the Hells Angels lifestyle. I wrote about the abuse and the cycles and how you get into a place like that and how you recognize the signs to get out.”

I interviewed Kerri about self-publishing her Hells Angels book, as well as what attracted her to Damien. My favorite part of the interview is when she revealed what the most difficult thing was about as a Hells Angels wife.

On Kerri: A Memoir of a Hells Angels Ex-Wife is a fascinating glimpse into the cycle of abusive relationships and finding strength to start over. It’s a story of self-esteem and power, pain and healing. Talk about a new beginning!

Interview with Kerri Krysko, former Hells Angel wife

My questions are in bold; Kerri’s answers are in her own words.

What attracted you to a Hells Angels gang member?

When we lack acceptance in the world in any way, we tend to be drawn to anyone who accepts us, or shows an interest of love. So, when someone embraces you and gives you safety from people who hurt you, you gravitate towards them. I gravitated towards my ex-husband Damien because he swept me off my feet. I knew it wasn’t right after the first kiss – I even knew it was wrong.

He was a dominant, powerful man, and I almost immediately lost myself. I was weak and even subservient. When it came to trying to leave him and the Hells Angels world it was hard, because I didn’t want to become another failure to my family. I acted as if all was well.

How did you finally break free from the Hells Angels?

I can’t share how I left the Hells Angels because my second book isn’t released yet, but all I can say is I had a choice to make. That choice led me to finding happiness – and most importantly, gaining control of my own life.

If you don’t think you can leave your relationship, read How to Leave a Man You Love – But Can’t Live With

Why did you write this Hells Angels book?

I had this desire to help people, by sharing my story I felt it would. Perhaps it would encourage other women in abusive relationships to leave. Publishing my book about living in the Hells Angels world was hard. Reading it when it was completed was very hard, like a movie you cannot press stop on. I relived some of the most horrific moments in my life.

When did you write it?

I chose to write my true story after I healed emotionally. I had to forgive everyone involved before I wrote it, or my book would not have been in the same voice it is now. If I had written my book in the first year or second year after I left, I would have still been trying to explain myself in a bitter tone as opposed to an understanding tone. I would have written my book for the ones who hurt me, instead of writing for our world.

Did you try to get your memoir traditionally published?

I never looked for a publisher. I wanted my book to be in my own words. After I left Hells Angels, I took my divorce money, paid the bills I incurred over the duration of my separation and divorce, and gave the rest of my money back to the world that saved me and my children. I felt as though that money was tainted somehow, and I wanted to give it to people who needed it and who were going through something similar.

What was the hardest part of writing a Hells Angel book?

The hardest part was realizing the cycle of abuse never started with men I dated, but well beforehand.

Hells Angel Book

Kerri Krysko’s Hells Angel Book About Surviving Abuse

I never sensationalized the Hells Angels party life in the book, I wrote deeper than that. I wrote from my very heart. I shared the moments that shaped me, made me, and broke me. My final Hells Angels book – Book 3 – is called “Kerri”, and it will be the path that will lead me home to the girl lost long ago.

Writing this Hells Angels book never toughened me up. It opened my eyes and gave me a more sympathetic heart to embrace others. We may not be equal, but we are all truly unique.

What’s your advice for women in abusive relationships?

It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be upset. You have to go through each stage of grieving to heal, and never give up. Always try to forgive and most importantly love yourself. Know no matter what, you are not alone. Look through the eyes of the woman who you were, who you lost long ago. Rebuild yourself to be who you are meant to be, not what others think you should be. Be your own person and you will find your true self, your own balance.

Kerri adds that abuse is a dynamic that often makes women feel they have to explain themselves or justify certain actions, as opposed to owning their truths and knowing we are who we are. One of the final steps in healing is to accept ourselves and love ourselves first.

If you feel trapped in a bad, unhealthy, or abusive relationship, read Why Does Love Hurt? 6 Excuses for Abuse.

Your comments on this Hells Angel book and Kerri’s experience are welcome below. I can’t offer advice, but it may help you to share your experience of being in an abusive relationship.

Kerry Krysko is the bestselling author of Kerri On: a Memoir of a Hells Angel Ex-Wife. In her book, she shares an inspirational journey, from a lonely child, to an abandoned teenager, abused wife , to an independent woman. She was belittled and victimized by people whom she loved and a man who used her in his own vindictive games.

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5 thoughts on “A Hells Angel Book About Surviving Abuse”

  1. I’ve been in a relationship with a man for two years who I still love but know will eventually kill me if I go back to him again . And I also know if he asks I probably will and he will I have called the police he’s been arrested I then went berserk on prosecution to get him out. I’ve been completely crazy. You see I believe no I know he suffers skitzophrinia I can’t spell anyway his delusions have led to him thinking I’m part of the them they he has suffocated me made leave a message saying goodbye to my three year old granddaughter so many things threatened to kill me and put my body in an outhouse I have pretty much destroyed my life over this man I have no one and no were to go no job I’m just a mess and I’m so full of a almost uncontrolled rage he had hurt me in so many ways but it’s the throwing other women in my face or comparing me to them that sets me off the most I know it’s insane I know THIS MAN HAS CO ME CLOSE TO REALLY KILLING ME MORE THEN ONCE and I go off about his flirting I don’t know how to get control over my insane emotions or even begin to get on my feet and I’m so darn lonely

  2. I do have personal knowledge of Kerri Krysko and can say with utmost certainty that her book is true on all facts. Her husband being who he is spread nasty rumours and couldn’t handle when the brazen truth was slapped in front of him. Cleaning the blood from face one to many times I witnessed firsthand the treatment she received by him and his associates. Her book stung people who couldn’t and wouldn’t see the light . Yes I am a parent at her child’s school and I know her well she is not what a few shifty individuals have said and the only thing she rode over in her book was the criminal stuff that could’ve harmed others – Kerri On was about preventing others from taking the same path as she once did . As soon as I read “through under the wheels” was a remark I have heard her family and the same ones who’ve always abused her.

    Fifty shades of grey is nothing remotely close to Kerri. She donated her first , second and third royalty from books sales to people . My daughter was one who received a new laptop and beautiful as Kerri Krysko is in nothing in comparison to what’s beneath.

    Not only do I know Kerri but I also have seen how kind and caring she is and when’s he left that world she’s been nothing but attacked by the snakes that still slither in envy! Good job Kerri


  3. I love how Kerri took responsibility for her life, by saying “The hardest part was realizing the cycle of abuse never started with men I dated, but well beforehand.”

    It’s sometimes hard to admit – and not always politically correct to say – but our lives really do begin and end with our experiences, personalities, choices, and actions. We have a lot more control over our lives than we know!

  4. I also was married to a hells angel from oakland for over 21 years and i have to say ladies they are not all abusive. i’m sorry hers was but mine was just they most wonderful man ever. there was never a cycle of abuse. sure we argued sometimes but he always listened to my side never laid a hand on me whatsoever.

    my husband passed away 13 years ago from natural causes. there isent a day that goes by that i dont think of him and miss him so so much i guess the point i am trying to make is you can not judge them all by the actions of their brothers.

    all hells angels men are different just like in life. i can tell you this if i had it to do all over again i would do it ALL OVER AGAIN also i am writing a book somewhat like hers but different point of view. my hells angels book title is Miss Vickie HAMCO,HOUSEWIFE with a very different point of view