Breakups > Letting Go > Help Leaving a Relationship When You Have Nowhere to Go

Help Leaving a Relationship When You Have Nowhere to Go

How do you get out of a relationship when you have no money, no family support and nowhere to go? You need strength, courage, and a thoughtful plan. Most important: don’t allow feelings of helplessness and hopelessness overcome you! Your feelings are powerful, but they don’t have to control you.

There aren’t any easy answers or quick tips, but I can offer you encouragement and inspiration. First, I want you to know you are not alone. On my article about getting money to leave your husband, a reader asked for help getting away from her abusive husband. I can’t give specific advice for women who want to leave relationships because every woman – and relationship – is different.

Allow yourself to feel your feelings — for they are real, valid, and important. But don’t let your feelings rule you. Instead of succumbing to helplessness and hopelessness, tell yourself that you will get through this. You might even rebuild your life in ways you never thought possible!

You’ve already taken the first step. You’re searching for help leaving a relationship, which means you’ve already started planting seeds that will blossom in your future.

Getting Out of a Relationship When You Have Nowhere to Go

Right now you may feel trapped in your relationship, but it’s important to start thinking about where you are going. It’s time to look at your life differently, with a more hopeful and empowered perspective. Your own mindset and attitude has an incredible effect on your future, and it’s up to you to choose wisely.

What you believe in has the power to change your life. I’ve always relied on the power and strength of faith – especially when I was trying to get out of a relationship and had nowhere to go. Don’t underestimate the power of your faith in God, your relationship with Jesus.

How to Get Out of a Relationship When You Have Nowhere to Go

What you believe about yourself and God is the first step towards getting out of an unhealthy relationship when you have no money or support. It’s not only the first step…it’s the most important one. Whether you’re getting away from an abusive husband after 20 years of marriage or a lifeless relationship after 20 weeks, the foundation is the same. You can find the strength, safety and security you need if you look upwards.

When I was a MSW (Master of Social Work) student at UBC in Vancouver, we often discussed a “strengths-based approach” to client care. We were taught what to say to women in unhealthy relationships, who had no money or resources to leave.

Here’s what we learned, what a social worker or counselor may tell you about leaving a relationship….

Focus on what you have control over

You may feel weak, powerless, and helpless. If you’re in an abusive relationship, your partner may have stripped away your identity, support system, self-confidence, and connections to the people you love. The last thing you feel is strong, and it may seem impossible to focus on anything but surviving the next hour.

However, if you want to get out of this relationship, you need to find a source of strength and resilience. Think back to a time in your life when you were strong, when you did something you didn’t think you could do. What resources did you have – what people, energy, support did you have? How did you survive the stress in your life?

There is a kernel of strength and power in you. You have strengths that you’re not focusing on – perhaps that you’re not even aware of! But they’re there, and they will help you break up with a man you no longer love.

Be curious about your options for leaving

The reader who recently asked for help getting out of her relationship said she was employed with the Army, on active duty. Whether or not her husband also works in the Army, there’s a source of support and resources there. It may seem impossible and even weird to call your husband’s work for help getting away from him, but you need to explore all your options.

You are NOT all alone, helpless, and stuck with nowhere to go. Help is out there waiting, but you have to reach out for it. Humble yourself. Call all the women’s shelters, support groups, Social Services in your area. You have to talk to your kids’ teachers and the guidance counselor at school.

Consider calling friends and family you didn’t think you could rely on. This may be the crisis that pulls you back into a family who loves you and misses you.

Read What You Need to Know When You Call a Shelter or Safe House for help getting out of a relationship when you have nowhere to go.

It’s time to start telling people that you want to get out of your relationship, and that you have nowhere to go. Then, you need to seize the opportunities that are offered to you – and start focusing on how to move forward.

Help Getting Out of a Relationship

Getting Out of a Relationship When You Have Nowhere to Go

In I Just Want Out- Seven Careful Steps to Leaving Your Emotionally Abusive Husband, Jodi Schuelke combines detailed practical information with her personal experiences and the lessons she learned from strategically planning her exit (along with her children) from her emotionally abusive first marriage.

This book will help you: 

  • Understand the importance of careful planning
  • Learn about ways to protect yourself and your children
  • Discover the options to consider along the way
  • Get a heads-up about how to manage opposition
  • Find support for letting go and moving on
  • Move forward into a new future

Jodi will support you and travel beside you on your journey to freedom using her practical seven-step FREEDOM Framework™ process.

It’s never as simple as that, I know…but if you start with hope, you’ll get farther than if you sink into helplessness. If you know you’re stuck in this relationship, read 7 Ways to Survive Life With an Angry Man – When You Can’t Leave.

Feel free to share your story, or even write about your ideas for getting out of a relationship when you have no money and nowhere to go. Start talking about what you can and will do. This will signal your brain and heart that getting out of a relationship is something you are working towards.


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113 thoughts on “Help Leaving a Relationship When You Have Nowhere to Go”

  1. My name is Belen I’ve been married for roughly 2 years we’ve been together for 4 we have a son together we met very young I was just leaving high school and so was he I was in love at the beginning we were both always helping each other out if one of us didn’t have money we would always do for each other and then soon later I got pregnant and I moved in with him and his family I left my job and couldn’t find another but he was working and paying everything so it seemed fine at first then as the time passed I notice how he started having all the control as far as money either not letting me spend it for certain things (not crazy spendings or anything) but if I were to spend something he didn’t like it was a problem but if he did it it would be ok cause he felt like it was his and the more time passed it was like I was seeing who he really was especially since he was the one making all the money it’s true what they say NEVER DEPEND ON A MAN always have your own but I thought he would never be like this with me and I feel so lost and stuck I feel like I’m not in love with him anymore it’s like I’m mentally checked out of the relationship I’m just waiting for my body to follow but I just feel like I have nothing no family that can really help me my mom lives far I haven’t worked in a long time I guess it just scares me but I can’t do it anymore I’m not happy in my marriage although it seems like he’s happy with me and thinks that our marriage is good this is just not how I pictured my life If I were stay in this and let this go on I would regret it later I know for a fact…. I just want to be happy and independent I will never depend on a man again for any reason I feel like this was a lesson that I learned from and will definitely be stronger after this…I’m currently living at my dads even though we weren’t so close I felt like I had to come here I had no where else I finally had the courage to pack my things and leave with my son , I took money out of the account and the car just to have something to get by and he had this whole blow up saying he’s gonna call the cops saying i stole the car and that he’s not helping me financially with anything that if I’m gonna leave I’m gonna leave with nothing .. a side of him Ive never seen before but it’s good I’m seeing it now. I see happiness in my future I’m still unclear on what will happen from here but I know I’ll be happy I feel it inside this is just the begging which is the hardest part typing this now I feel so much better I’ve cried several times but I know it’s all in the process I hope to grow and become stronger from this hope anyone else going through a similar situation can do the same .

  2. I am 19 years old I was kicked out of my moms house at the time my boyfriend 26 years old was the only one in the area with me and we had only been dating about 2 months when this happened. I felt the need to go with him because I had no where else to go to I wanted love I felt I needed someone’s protection so we got together moved in still learning to live with one another. I constantly try to tell myself this is what I need someone who can help provide for me someone that is willing to take care of me and love me. But I always have these side thoughts that I am so young and I still don’t have an idea what I want for my life. I feel stuck I don’t have anywhere to go my days are filled with anxiety trying to figure out my next move. I don’t eat I can barely sleep I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t feel any sort of importance to my life but the need to just survive and pull through. I always wanted to think of having a life with someone I love, someone I can get married to build a future with and have kids but I feel like I am settling. I am too scared to leave in fear that no one else would treat me any better. My anxiety stops me from ever doing anything different. I do not handle changes very well. I feel very weak physically and emotionally I don’t know who to go to or what to do, or even who to talk to. I have been very isolating myself and I don’t have much of a social life. I don’t want to feel like I have no purpose but I have no motivation to go on and make a life for myself on my own I feel like I’m slowly killing myself pretending and being something I am not. Trying to work this relationship with someone I feel I barely know..

    1. I was in the same situation only I had a 1 in a half year old daughter and I’m now 6 years later In the relationship still. my daughter is now 7 And I ended up have a son who is now 2 and I’m still feeling stuck and looking for ways out but get anxiety to leave and all my family is an hour away from me and I don’t want to have to leave because my daughters life is here. Her school her friends I would hate for her too lose all that and live in my moms 1 bedroom apt with my 2 brothers with my 3 kids there’s no way that would work. I reached out to you because reading ur story was like reading mine and I wanted to share the future with u because I’m living in it. If ur feeling it now barely in the beginning then leave while it’s still fresh before u are “stuck”.