You need to know how to get out of a relationship when you have no family to lean on and nowhere to go. How do you leave and start over when you have no money and nobody to trust?
On my article about getting money to leave your husband, a reader asked for help getting away from her abusive partner. It always breaks my heart when readers ask for help, because I never know what to do or say. I can’t give advice, because I don’t know their situations, personalities, or mental or emotional states.
Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends by Bruce Fisher is a great way to start focusing on your future. You may still feel trapped in your relationship, but it’s important to start thinking about where you are going. Here, I can offer encouragement and ideas that may help you look at your life differently. I believe in the power and strength that spirituality offers. What do you believe in? Do you have a relationship with your Creator, God, Allah, or something Greater than yourself? That might be the first step towards getting out of an unhealthy relationship.
Getting Out of a Relationship When You Have Nowhere to Go
I’m a MSW (Master of Social Work) student at UBC in Vancouver. Yesterday in class we talked about a “strengths-based approach” to client care. Here’s what a social worker or counselor may tell you about getting out of a bad relationship when you have no support or money.
Focus on your strengths
You may feel weak, powerless, and helpless. If you’re in an abusive relationship, your partner may have stripped away your identity, support system, self-confidence, and connections to the people you love. The last thing you feel is strong, and it may seem impossible to focus on anything but surviving the next hour.
However, if you want to get out of this relationship, you need to find a seed of strength and resilience inside you. Think back to a time in your life when you were strong, when you did something you didn’t think you could do. What resources did you have – what people, energy, support did you have? How did you survive the stress in your life?
There is a kernel of strength and power in you. You have strengths that you’re not focusing on – perhaps that you’re not even aware of! But they’re there, and they will help you get out of this relationship even if you have nowhere to go.
Start talking about getting out of your relationship
The reader who recently asked for help getting out of her relationship said she was employed with the Army, on active duty. I don’t know if her husband also works in the Army, but if he does there may be some sort of support there. It seems impossible and even crazy to call your husband’s work for help getting away from him, but you have no choice if you want to leave!
You are NOT all alone, helpless, and stuck with nowhere to go. Help is out there waiting, but you have to reach out for it. You have to call women’s shelters, support groups, Social Services. You have to talk to your kids’ teachers and the guidance counselor at school. You have to call the family you didn’t think you could rely on.
You have to start telling people that you want to get out of your relationship, and that you have nowhere to go. Then, you need to seize the opportunities that are offered to you – and start focusing on how to get over a bad breakup.
It’s as simple, and as difficult, as that.
For more tips on getting out of a relationship when you have nowhere to go, read How to Let Go of Someone You Love. And as always, feel free to comment below.
I welcome your thoughts on how to get out of a relationship when you have nowhere to go. I can’t offer advice, but it may help you to share what you’re going through.