How do you get out of a relationship when you have no money, no family support and nowhere to go? You need strength, courage, and a thoughtful plan. Most important: don’t allow feelings of helplessness and hopelessness overcome you! Your feelings are powerful, but they don’t have to control you.
There aren’t any easy answers or quick tips, but I can offer you encouragement and inspiration. First, I want you to know you are not alone. On my article about getting money to leave your husband, a reader asked for help getting away from her abusive husband. I can’t give specific advice for women who want to leave relationships because every woman – and relationship – is different.
Allow yourself to feel your feelings — for they are real, valid, and important. But don’t let your feelings rule you. Instead of succumbing to helplessness and hopelessness, tell yourself that you will get through this. You might even rebuild your life in ways you never thought possible!
You’ve already taken the first step. You’re searching for help leaving a relationship, which means you’ve already started planting seeds that will blossom in your future.
Getting Out of a Relationship When You Have Nowhere to Go
Right now you may feel trapped in your relationship, but it’s important to start thinking about where you are going. It’s time to look at your life differently, with a more hopeful and empowered perspective. Your own mindset and attitude has an incredible effect on your future, and it’s up to you to choose wisely.
What you believe in has the power to change your life. I’ve always relied on the power and strength of faith – especially when I was trying to get out of a relationship and had nowhere to go. Don’t underestimate the power of your faith in God, your relationship with Jesus.
What you believe about yourself and God is the first step towards getting out of an unhealthy relationship when you have no money or support. It’s not only the first step…it’s the most important one. Whether you’re getting away from an abusive husband after 20 years of marriage or a lifeless relationship after 20 weeks, the foundation is the same. You can find the strength, safety and security you need if you look upwards.
When I was a MSW (Master of Social Work) student at UBC in Vancouver, we often discussed a “strengths-based approach” to client care. We were taught what to say to women in unhealthy relationships, who had no money or resources to leave.
Here’s what we learned, what a social worker or counselor may tell you about leaving a relationship….
Focus on what you have control over
You may feel weak, powerless, and helpless. If you’re in an abusive relationship, your partner may have stripped away your identity, support system, self-confidence, and connections to the people you love. The last thing you feel is strong, and it may seem impossible to focus on anything but surviving the next hour.
However, if you want to get out of this relationship, you need to find a source of strength and resilience. Think back to a time in your life when you were strong, when you did something you didn’t think you could do. What resources did you have – what people, energy, support did you have? How did you survive the stress in your life?
There is a kernel of strength and power in you. You have strengths that you’re not focusing on – perhaps that you’re not even aware of! But they’re there, and they will help you break up with a man you no longer love.
Be curious about your options for leaving
The reader who recently asked for help getting out of her relationship said she was employed with the Army, on active duty. Whether or not her husband also works in the Army, there’s a source of support and resources there. It may seem impossible and even weird to call your husband’s work for help getting away from him, but you need to explore all your options.
You are NOT all alone, helpless, and stuck with nowhere to go. Help is out there waiting, but you have to reach out for it. Humble yourself. Call all the women’s shelters, support groups, Social Services in your area. You have to talk to your kids’ teachers and the guidance counselor at school.
Consider calling friends and family you didn’t think you could rely on. This may be the crisis that pulls you back into a family who loves you and misses you.
Read What You Need to Know When You Call a Shelter or Safe House for help getting out of a relationship when you have nowhere to go.
It’s time to start telling people that you want to get out of your relationship, and that you have nowhere to go. Then, you need to seize the opportunities that are offered to you – and start focusing on how to move forward.
Help Getting Out of a Relationship
In I Just Want Out- Seven Careful Steps to Leaving Your Emotionally Abusive Husband, Jodi Schuelke combines detailed practical information with her personal experiences and the lessons she learned from strategically planning her exit (along with her children) from her emotionally abusive first marriage.
This book will help you:
- Understand the importance of careful planning
- Learn about ways to protect yourself and your children
- Discover the options to consider along the way
- Get a heads-up about how to manage opposition
- Find support for letting go and moving on
- Move forward into a new future
Jodi will support you and travel beside you on your journey to freedom using her practical seven-step FREEDOM Framework™ process.
It’s never as simple as that, I know…but if you start with hope, you’ll get farther than if you sink into helplessness. If you know you’re stuck in this relationship, read 7 Ways to Survive Life With an Angry Man – When You Can’t Leave.
Feel free to share your story, or even write about your ideas for getting out of a relationship when you have no money and nowhere to go. Start talking about what you can and will do. This will signal your brain and heart that getting out of a relationship is something you are working towards.