Finding ways to get out of a relationship when you have no money, no family support and nowhere to go will take all the strength and courage you have. You may feel helpless and hopeless – how do you leave a relationship and start over when you have no money and nobody to trust?
There aren’t any easy answers or quick tips, but I can offer you encouragement and inspiration. First, I want you to know you are not alone. On my article about getting money to leave your husband, a reader asked for help getting away from her abusive husband. I can’t give specific advice for women who want to leave relationships because I don’t know the specific situations, personalities, or other factors.
Don’t give up. I know what it feels like to want to leave a relationship but have nowhere to go. I also know the feeling of finding a solution, of slowing making my way out of a terrible situation. I found ways to get out of a bad place — and I know you can, too! Take heart, and don’t give up hope. Hold on, and you will find ways to get out of this relationship. You will move on, and you’ve already started planting seeds of forward progress. Let’s keep going…
Right now you may feel trapped in your relationship, but it’s important to start thinking about where you are going. It’s time to look at your life differently, with a more hopeful and empowered perspective. Your own mindset and attitude has an incredible effect on your future, and it’s up to you to choose wisely.
What you believe in has the power to change your life. I’ve always relied on the power and strength of faith – especially when I was trying to get out of a relationship and had nowhere to go. Don’t underestimate the power of your faith in God, your relationship with Jesus.
What you believe about yourself and God is the first step towards getting out of an unhealthy relationship when you have no money or support. It’s not only the first step…it’s the most important one. Whether you’re getting away from an abusive husband after 20 years of marriage or a lifeless relationship after 20 weeks, the foundation is the same. You can find the strength, safety and security you need if you look upwards.
Getting Out of a Relationship When You Have Nowhere to Go
When I was a MSW (Master of Social Work) student at UBC in Vancouver, we often discussed a “strengths-based approach” to client care. We were taught what to say to women in unhealthy relationships, who had no money or resources to leave.
Here’s what we learned, what a social worker or counselor may tell you about leaving a relationship….
Focus on your strengths
You may feel weak, powerless, and helpless. If you’re in an abusive relationship, your partner may have stripped away your identity, support system, self-confidence, and connections to the people you love. The last thing you feel is strong, and it may seem impossible to focus on anything but surviving the next hour.
However, if you want to get out of this relationship, you need to find a source of strength and resilience. Think back to a time in your life when you were strong, when you did something you didn’t think you could do. What resources did you have – what people, energy, support did you have? How did you survive the stress in your life?
There is a kernel of strength and power in you. You have strengths that you’re not focusing on – perhaps that you’re not even aware of! But they’re there, and they will help you break up with a man you no longer love.
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Start exploring all the options for leaving your relationship
The reader who recently asked for help getting out of her relationship said she was employed with the Army, on active duty. Whether or not her husband also works in the Army, there’s a source of support and resources there. It may seem impossible and even weird to call your husband’s work for help getting away from him, but you need to explore all your options.
You are NOT all alone, helpless, and stuck with nowhere to go. Help is out there waiting, but you have to reach out for it. Humble yourself. Call all the women’s shelters, support groups, Social Services in your area. You have to talk to your kids’ teachers and the guidance counselor at school.
Consider calling friends and family you didn’t think you could rely on. This may be the crisis that pulls you back into a family who loves you and misses you.
Read What You Need to Know When You Call a Shelter or Safe House for help getting out of a relationship when you have nowhere to go.
It’s time to start telling people that you want to get out of your relationship, and that you have nowhere to go. Then, you need to seize the opportunities that are offered to you – and start focusing on how to move forward.
Help Getting Out of a Relationship
In I Just Want Out- Seven Careful Steps to Leaving Your Emotionally Abusive Husband, Jodi Schuelke combines detailed practical information with her personal experiences and the lessons she learned from strategically planning her exit (along with her children) from her emotionally abusive first marriage.
This book will help you:
- Understand the importance of careful planning
- Learn about ways to protect yourself and your children
- Discover the options to consider along the way
- Get a heads-up about how to manage opposition
- Find support for letting go and moving on
- Move forward into a new future
Jodi will support you and travel beside you on your journey to freedom using her practical seven-step FREEDOM Framework™ process.
It’s never as simple as that, I know…but if you start with hope, you’ll get farther than if you sink into helplessness. If you know you’re stuck in this relationship, read 7 Ways to Survive Life With an Angry Man – When You Can’t Leave.
What do you think of these ideas for getting out of a relationship when you have no money and nowhere to go? I know I don’t have a lot to offer, but your big and little comments are welcome below. And don’t worry! I don’t give advice. I just listen. It’s your turn to talk.
Do you need relationship help? Get Mort Fertel's 7 Steps to Fixing Your Marriage. It's helpful - and free!