After a breakup, you’ll experience different emotions: anger, sadness, grief, depression, and even relief. These ways to find peace after a breakup will help you process those emotions and move on.
I wrote How to Let Go of Someone You Love after I lost my sister. She’s still alive and well – as far as I know – but she and I are estranged. It is devastating when someone you love cuts you out of her life…but it is possible to find peace after a breakup, whether it’s divorce or family estrangement or death. To find the “best” ways to let go of someone you loved and lost, I interviewed several counselors and grief experts.
These tips in this article are inspired by a reader who said these very important words to her husband, who was cheating on her. She was going through the normal, healthy stages of grieving after a breakup.
Here’s what she wrote in the comments section of What to Do After Your Husband Leaves You for Another Woman: “I calmly said, “I’m letting you go.” I feel an enormous amount of peace. How I wish that peace would always stay with me. Alas, it seems to be a fair weathered friend. Some days I feel good, great actually. I am optimistic and have high hopes for a much brighter future. For all of us. Then I have terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days. Days were I wish I could crawl inside a box and never come out. And often there doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to my emotions.”
4 Ways to Find Peace After a Breakup
You might also want to read How to Get Revenge on Your Ex. It’s not about being mean to your ex; it’s about living fully and peacefully so you can move on in peace and serenity. Sometimes, finding peace after a breakup is about squaring with yourself and the relationship.
Expect moments and even days of heartwrenching grief
You’re grieving the end of not only a marriage or relationship, but also the end of your hopes and dreams of a future with this person. It’s natural and healthy to grieve your loss! Part of finding peace after a breakup is expecting and accepting the painful emotions. Your mind, heart, and soul are cleansing themselves. Your body is saying good-bye to what you lost, and preparing itself to welcome a new chapter.
Try to find balance
After breaking up, you’re more likely to find peace if you allow yourself to experience your emotions. When you feel like withdrawing into your pain, give yourself a cocoon for a weekend. But try not to get sucked into one stage of grief (eg, anger, bitterness, weeping, etc). Be angry, but force yourself to see the good in this breakup. Finding peace is about experiencing your emotions after a breakup, but not getting stuck in any one feeling.
Acknowledge the true source of peace
How is your spiritual life? Are you connected to God – the Source of all inspiration, creativity, freedom, and peace? After a breakup is the perfect time to connect or reconnect with a Higher Power. I’m a Christian, and I find oceans of peace, security, comfort, and hope in my faith. More importantly, I find freedom in my relationship with God – freedom to be me, freedom to live fully. Freedom to trust that everything – even the most painful breakups and even when I struggle to find peace – is working out the way God has planned.
Connect with peaceful people
I was at a party last night, and I met a fellow who was in such emotional turmoil. I could feel waves of insecurity, animosity, and conflict emanating from him. His energy was unsettling, and it made me uncomfortable. I spent most of the party avoiding him. One of the best tips on how to find peace after a breakup is to avoid people or situations that make you feel anxious, unsettled, upset, or uncomfortable. Later, after you’ve healed and moved on from the breakup, you can spend time with people who are more challenging. For now, however, I encourage you to connect with people who are peaceful, supportive, encouraging, and even spiritual.
What do you think of these tips on finding peace after breaking up with someone you care about? I welcome your thoughts below.
If you’re struggling because you don’t feel like you can live without the person you broke up with, read How to Get Over an Addictive Relationship.
My prayer for you is that you find peace and joy after your breakup. May you connect with God, and live fully in serenity and calm.
“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.” – Buddha.