5 Ways to Fill the Void After a Breakup

There are a million unhealthy ways to fill the void after breaking up, but they will drag you down and keep you there. Here are the best ways to cope after being left by someone you love.

In Meditations to Heal Your Life, Louise Hay offers insights that will enrich you body, mind, and soul while giving you practical knowledge to apply to your day-to-day life.

And remember: what I think are the healthiest ways to fill the void won’t be the same as your healthiest ways to fill the void. That’s why my first tip is about connecting with how you feel, both physically and emotionally.

Filling the void after a breakup involves getting emotionally, spiritually, socially, and physically healthy. A void isn’t filled by just one thing, such as a trip to Hawaii, a new job, a move to a new city, or even a new relationship. To learn how to fill the void after a breakup, you need to look at your life and determine how meaningful it is. These tips will help you do that…

Filling the Void After a Breakup

Me, I think the best way to get over a breakup  is to turn to God. The older I get, the more I cling to my spirituality. I feel safe, loved, happy, and cherished when I turn my attention to God – even if I’m not praying. I just feel loved by Him. Do you? Having a relationship with your Creator can change how you feel about your life – and how you fill the void after a breakup.

Connect to yourself

The most important tip on filling the void after breaking up is to get in touch with yourself. I don’t mean your heartache or pain – your heartbreak is getting in touch with you, no problem! I encourage you to connect with the healthiest part of yourself. When I was actively struggling with bulimia (I’m in recovery), there was always a wee little bit of me that was healthy and strong. I just chose to ignore that piece of me because I thought it was more “fun” to binge and purge.

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Make a list of the healthiest parts of you

Maybe it’s your sense of humor, your intelligence, your ability to find the best in any situation, or your cast iron stomach. Maybe the healthiest part of you is external: your best friend, job, family, or dog. As I mentioned before, the healthiest part of me is my God. One of the best ways to fill the void after a breakup is to recognize the healthiest part of you, and dig into it. Use it to get strong, to fill your life, and to heal.

Know you’re not alone

How to Let Go of Someone You Love has always been my most popular blog post, because we all ache to fill the void after a breakup. We don’t know how to fill the time, space, and emptiness we feel. One of the most important things is to know you’re not alone. Actually – thetruth is that this fact does not help some people feel better after a breakup. I feel better knowing I’m not alone, but some of my friends don’t.

Get out of your comfort zone

One of my favorite ways to heal after a major shakeup is to do something new. Traveling to a new and exotic location is by far my best way to fill the void – especially if I go to a place like India, Africa, or Asia. And, it helps to go alone! Getting out of your comfort zone means trusting yourself enough to take a leap and know that you WILL fly…or you’ll grow wings on the way down.

Know that this, too, will pass

Trust me: this aching, empty void you feel won’t last forever. It feels like you’ll never heal and you’ll never be happy again. Sometimes, people say this feeling is actually a LIE that unhealthy spirits whisper to you, to keep you down and in despair. I don’t know anything about that, but I do believe that if you focus on the fact that you WILL be happy and healthy one day, you will find the strength to keep moving forward.

If you think you can’t fill the void because you’re attached to your ex, read How to Let Go of Someone You Love.

I welcome your thoughts on how to fill the void after a breakup below, but I can’t offer advice. You may find it helpful to write about your experience, as writing can bring clarity and insight.


Your thoughts are welcome below! I don't give advice, but you can get free relationship help from marriage coach Mort Fertel.

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One thought on “5 Ways to Fill the Void After a Breakup

  • Rachel

    I really loved my ex boyfriend and thought I was going to marry him. He almost strangled and suffocated me to death and he went to jail for a night and now we’re going to court. Even though he is a very messed up individual (and it’s a long story) I loved him in spite of it. Nobody is all bad. I am trying to just watch TV with my son. It is taking me time to get my prayer life straight but it’s better now than it was a month ago. It’s hard to detach from being so close to him. I know that things will never be ok with him. I didn’t really get to say goodbye. The last time I saw his face he was trying to kill me. That’s the hardest. The advice here is helpful. Thank you